Braking Toys

Put away the more expensive toys, but be with the kids and watch them. Intercept them before something is broken and teach them about respecting each other's things. If they are not able to play nicely, they won't be able to play.

Save the good toys (put them away), and have a bin of sturdy, old, you-don't care-what-happens-to-them toys available for the play date. You can get them at yard sales, 2nd hand stores or Salvation Army, but if they get broken it's no great loss.

One thing I've learned over the years is that many kids simply do not care about other kids or people's belongings. Yes, accidents do happen, but I hate to say it, some kids just go on a search and destroy mission. My daughter had a little neighbor friend that broke every toy she got her hands on, every single time.
What you have to do is keep anything you don't want broken put away.
There have been kids that were absolutely never allowed in my children's bedrooms and if they came over, they were only allowed to choose toys from a certain generic "play box" that I kept in the garage.
A couple of times I overheard kids telling my kids that they were selfish because they weren't allowed to play with their "good" toys.
I wasn't shy about saying that until toys quit getting broken, certain toys were off limits. Period.
Pretty soon there was nothing but a box full of broken toys for them to come over and play with. Not much fun when that's all there is....that message does get across.
If it's something they broke, they know it whether it was truly an accident or not.
It might sound mean, but save yourself the grief.
Anything you care about or that's worth anything is off limits.

If they want to break cheap stuff, let them. Put it back in the play box and when there's nothing but broken toys at your house to play with, that's just what happens.

I hope you get some great advice, but that's what I did.

put away the toys that are too valuable.
I know, its a hassle... but even if it were with her kids or another kid, breakage can happen.

I also tell my kids before play-dates at our house, to put away ANYTHING they do not want touched by their visitors. Then I put it away in MY room. And certain rooms are just off limits, to the visiting kids. I tell them this. Nicely.

Umm - don't have them over anymore!!!

How can they really be your friends if they let their kids break toys everytime they visit? I mean, if that were your kids would you not be mortified? I wouldn't even want to take my kids anywhere if they acted like that. If you want to continue the friendship you either need to say something (or you will keep building up resentment), or you will just have to accept that being friends with these people and having them over is gonna cost you - the price of a toy every time!!!

Maybe when you get together you can meet at a park or the library or somewhere where your kid's possesions are safe!

I just went and read the other posts, and I have to say I think it is totally riduculous that people suggest to leave out the cheap toys!! No, that is kind of like saying it is OK to break our stuff as long as it is not too expensive Your kids will still end up with broken stuff. I really don't think this is entirely about the money, but about respect for other people's stuff, and if your "friend" doesn't have enough respect for your home or belongings, then IMO, they are not really a good friend. Accidents happen, but EVERYTIME??? Come on!!!!

I would put the good toys away when these kids come over. Maybe try something indesstructible, like buidling blocks, or something inexpensive, like balls. Or go to garage sales and buy toys just for when they come over. Another thought is to ask your friend to bring some toys for the kids to play with while at your house.

Have you ever talked to you friend about this? Maybe ask her to pay for half for the toys her kids break. Obviously you'll have to approach this the right way so you don't offend her, but you could mention that toys often end up broken when your children play together and ask her from now on if she'll pay for half of whatever is broken. That might prompt her to have a conversation with her children about being more gentle. Just make sure you emphasize how much you enjoy have them over and how much your children enjoy playing with her children, so she doesn't think you're trying to get rid of them. You might also start a conversation to see how often toys break at her house to see if her kids are always this rough on toys.

Another thought...do you watch the kids while they play? Maybe if you and your friend watch them more closely for a while the "accidental" breaking will stop.

Good luck!
Good luck.

I had a very similar situation, only the rough kids were my niece & nephew. My daughter had a lot of nice toys as well and they weren't gentle either. What I would do before they came over was put away any toys with a lot of pieces or toys that were expensive or favorites that I didn't want broken. It was a pain, and took a little extra time, but it was well worth it. I would try that and see what happens.

I find it indicative of our passive-aggressive society that no one has mentioned speaking to the mother of this toy-breaker about replacing the toys. If you want to fix the problem, this needs to be brought up. If you aren't able to catch the child in the act and talk to him or her about their behavior, a frank discussion about how much these toys are costing you needs to be started with the other parent. "Listen, I've noticed that lots of toys are getting broken when we have these playdates. Last week they broke the <$40 insert toy name here> and we can't afford to be replacing these things! Have you noticed how violent the kids are getting with Little Johnny's things?" Proceed from there. If Other Parent pleads ignorance or acts like it must be just your child's fault and doesn't assist with taking responsibility for the children's actions, perhaps you need to find another playdate family.

I have a "friend" who's kids don't respect my home, my child or his things. They are not coming over to my home again, period. Frankly, I don't like how they treat my child when we go to THEIR home so we just don't really play with them anymore. Just because they have kids and are available doesn't make them ideal playmates.

I'm not saying you need to attack this parent, demanding payment... just start the conversation and see how they feel about it. If they don't respect you, your home or your things, why would you want to hang out with them? My thought is, this parent doesn't have control of their children, they have already ruined their own toys, so they come to your house to play with your nice things. That doesn't fly in my world. If they are unwilling to start teaching their child how to treat things, they need to find a playdate with another family that has the same flippant attitude about toys.

If Other Parent shows concern about it, however, suggest keeping the adult conversation near the kids so you can watch what's happening and who is definitely breaking the toys. Stop them and discuss consequences. "If you can't play nicely with this <Insert name of $40 toy> then I guess it will have to get put away when you come to play." (Do this with EVERY toy you see being abused! Even the $1 ones!) OR "If you can't play nicely, maybe you won't get to come play with Little Johnny's toys anymore!" Let the CHILD see their actions have consequences and actually put the toy in time out in front of them. When all the toys start disappearing, it might get their attention!

If Other Parent won't take responsibility to teach their kids respect, perhaps this will help, at least when in YOUR home. Remember... it's YOUR HOME. Your rules! And if they don't like it and stop coming over, no big loss. Obviously you will know they were only coming over to let their kids have a free-for-all with your stuff.
Good luck!!!!

I would get a storage tub and put all of the valuable toys in it before your friends come over. Although I don't think you should have to do it, it sounds it has come to that.

I would start by suggesting you switch homes each time your families get together to play. One time at your home, the next at theirs etc. Even if your home has more toy options, the other family should host as well. Also, offer to meet at a park and bring a picnic lunch, or at a bouncy-house type play place. Some gymnastics training places have open gyms also, which is a great place to bring the kids in the winter. Kids love that stuff.

Next, I would be in the room with the kids while they are playing so they can be supervised. I know you and your friend probably like letting them play while you enjoy some adult conversation, but by being more vigilant you will know what actually happened to the toy and you won't rely on a child who doesn't want to get in trouble giving you the answer on what happened. If you miss your adult-conversation time, invite your friend for dinner/coffee/drink without the kids sometime.

If there are special toys you don't want the other kids to play with, put them out of the play area before your guests arrive.

If you are doing these things, and the kids still are not respecting your belongings, then a conversation needs to be had with the mother. If you are both in the room while the breaking is happening, it can be addressed immediately. Even if you say something to the mother like "all the kids are getting a bit wild, let's let them run around outside a bit" that may prevent some broken toys.

Good luck!

Mom, why dont you make the suggestion that you and your child go the your friends house to play for the next few play times, this may help. When they do come over at your house I would put out the oldest, least expensive toys and put the good toys away. If they ask for a good toy just say that lots of toys have been broken lately when all the kids play so the good toys are put away when friends are over. THese kids obviously play pretty roughly if they are breaking toys each time they are over and 3 toys this past time is too many. Hope this helps Mom.

let them play where they can be supervised and when you see them being a bit rough with the toys, speak up and/or, put the more expensive toys away before they come and play.

Can you meet them outside of your house? Playground, monkey joe's, etc? If not, hide your good expensive toys when they come over and only put out the toys that are either indestructable or you don't care about. What works in our house is before any kids come over, my son can move his favorite toys out of the common areas and up in his bedroom so no kids can play with them. I think it is only fair that his most beloved toys he doesn't have to share, but everything left in the common areas he has to share.

Boy, I hate when that happens. My girls are taught to take care of their toys. We do not buy toys except for birthdays and Christmas. My girls know that if a toy is broken and they want a new one they have to wait until their birthdays or Christmas for the item to be replaced. For that reason, they are very careful with their toys. Like you said princess crowns and wands that can easily be replaced at the dollar store and are not made to last and that is a different story. We also have certain little ones that come to play, that are very hard on their toys. Before one of those visits, my girls take anything, that they do not want broken, out of their playroom, and put it away in their closets in their bedrooms. I don't even have to remind them anymore. They know who the kids are, that play rough, and so they take favorites and hide them. Their handheld games are the first to be put away. I also can't believe how non chalante certain moms are about their children breaking other kids toys. Unbelieveable! I would be so embarrassed if one of my girls broke a toy that belonged to someone else! I would absolutely replace it, if it were an expensive item. So many kids now a days have these parents that think it's normal for a child to play rough and break toys and think nothing about replacing those items. These are the same parents that have broken toys all over in their own houses because they think that's just the way it is. Children should be taught respect, not just of other people, but for their own things and things that belong to others. My only suggestion is to have your kids put away the things that mean the most to them. I also have certain children that invite themselves over and before they come I flat out tell my daughter "We are not playing inside today...it's nice out, so we are playing outside". She understands why and then can use that as a good excuse not to go in and play with her toys. These are also some of the same kids that will just go in to my pantry or fridge to find a snack for themselves!!! Are you kidding me?? My own kids can't just go get themselves something without asking. Good luck! Out of sight is the only way to protect certain things.