Hello. This is the first time I have asked a question on Mamasource. I have a little girl, 14 1/2 months old. We have had a wonderful nursing relationship. I have practiced on demand nursing so it has been a big part of our days. Recently she has been teething a lot, working on her 5th tooth (top front)and she started to bite me while nursing (at first when she was finshed and then right away when we started to nurse). I would tell her NO and then we would try again and it continued to happen. This was going on for almost a full day until she finally just stopped nursing. I didn't know what to do. It hurts to be bitten, but I am afraid she may have gotten the wrong message (no to nursing instead of no to biting). I am open to weaning when she is ready, but I have a feeling that I hurt her feelings by telling NO so many times when she was biting and this is part of why she has stopped so abruptly nursing during the day time. It would be a sad way to end a great relationship. We are starting day 4 of no nursing during the day, she does however still nurse a lot at night (more than before). She doesn't bite me at night. I have been pumping a few times during the day to keep my supply up in the hopes that she will return to nursing during the day. I have been trying to spend a lot of time holding her close while reading books or rocking and offering her milk in the hopes that she will, she still asks throughout the day to nurse but when I offer she does a nervous giggle and turns away. Has anyone experienced anything similar to this? If anyone has any feedback or suggestion it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.
Thank you thank you so much for all the responses. I really appreciate the wide range of feedback. This is a great resource. Well, the nursing strike is over! She asked to nurse yesterday like she had been doing for the last several days but instead of giggling nervously she nursed comfortably. I also spoke with several LLL leaders and they all said that biting and abrupt stopping very rarely means that they are done nursing but that something else is going on...typically weaning is gradual so they encouraged me to stick with it so she can wean at a more gradual pace. She has been drinking from a sippy (whole milk and water) for several months now so she does always have those options throughout her day, although she prefers to nurse. She is definitely becoming more independent everyday and nurses less frequently and for a shorter period of time so I am very aware that we are in the process of weaning and I am both excited about her finishing as well as sentimental about it which I am finding is a big part of my mothering experience in general. Breastfeeding has and is such a lovely way to comfort and nourish her and I am so grateful for this time. I am hoping that our nursing relationship will end on a positive note that reflects our overall experience. Thank you again everyone for your feedback.
I know there will be others that disagree with this, but personal opinion - time to move her to a cup.
J.
2 year old daughter and 10 month old son
Why struggle with her and fustrate you? They sound be off the bottle at one shouldn't they be off the breast too?
Sorry.. but I have to edit my response...
The World Health Organization recommends nursing till 2 and beyond as mother/baby see fit.
In other countries women breastfeed in public and way past 12 months.. it's really sad to me that breastfeeding is not as widely accepted. There are SOOO many benefits to baby and mom. There are health benefits (immunities that only mother's milk can bring), it helps ward off breast cancer and other cancers for mom, as well as it creates more bonding and connection for mom/baby.
I can see that moms don't want to nurse their babies and some are not comfortable to nurse past 12 months... BUT for heaven's sake at least allow other people to do what works for them. This mom's not condemning other moms for bottle or formula feeding...
You can't force a baby to nurse... and I'm sure when this little one is done for real, she'll be done!
You can't force a baby to nurse as this mom said as well.
I would try saying ouch or gentle nursing instead of no..
I wouldn't be surprised if she goes back to it...you never know. So sorry... it's gotta be a challenge right now.
I'd keep up the pumping if I were you.. maybe feed her the pumped milk in a cup or bottle for now so she's still getting the immunities and it's not going to waste
I'd check with LLL or go to a meeting too.. you can check online at www.lalecheleague.com
Kudos to you on nursing your baby girl over 12 mos! I nursed my little guy for 16 mos until he weaned himself. I agree with your thoughts on possibly giving her mixed signals with the no biting. If she is nursing more in the evening I agree with another poster that she isn't ready to quit nursing. Keep offering her to nurse during the day and try using positive reinforcement. Say things like be gentle, be a good girl, etc. It won't take long until she is back on her regular nursing schedule. If our advise doesn't work go to La Leche League http://www.llli.org//Web/Michigan.html
I nursed my daughter until she was 15 months and as it seems your little one is doing, she stopped it herself. At 14.5 months she was only nursing 2x/day. Eating so many other foods and other liquids she didn't need it as much. When we finally stopped she started to bite also and didn't seem interested, nor to miss it. I was only producing enough for two feedings so with a manual pump only, it wasn't worth it to pump. I offered her the opportunity a few days after, but she never asked for it again. I wasn't as ready for this as she was. I was sad to be ending such a precious time and kinda glad to move on at the same time. 18 months was my personal goal; I think we did good. I wouldn't be too concerned since she's still nursing in the evening/night, she hasn't gone on a complete strike. She's getting what she needs. And congrats on such a successful nursing experience!
It sounds as though she may be done nursing. Try giving her a sippy cup and see what her reaction is. Good luck!
R.
My oldest started biting me as a way to let me know she was done with nursing. She wasn't quite 10 mos. at the time. We continued to cuddle, she just was done with nursing. She is now 16 and doing quite well in school and everything else.
Good luck and enjoy still nursing her at night as long as she wants to.
What concerns me is your feeling about the nursing. "end a relationship". Independence or body awarness, it sounds like she is done & your very emotional about it, it's hard not to be, but you can still hold her close, read her books, rock her and give her a chance to be a big girl. You are her mom & that bond is there forever. She will still be loving & so will you. You can have a great relationship and enjoy her growing. My youngest is 4 now & it's sad to see the "baby" go away & a toddler step in, but growth happens. Best wishes to you!
As we are all trying to do the best we can, I congratulate you for the commitment you have made regarding breastfeeding but I have to agree with some of the other mothers here, she is getting too old to nurse. Try to introduce a sippy cup. Not only for her benefit but for your sleep, she shouldn't be nursing that much at night either, here's to hopefully getting a full nights sleep!
I'm sorry...I agree...she's too old to keep nursing. I understand the health benefits of breastmilk, so maybe you should keep pumping and offer a sippy cup. The health benefits of breast milk should be the only reason to keep nursing at this age.
If she was a bottle fed baby...you'd be trying to get her off the bottle.
I know others will not like this, but she is 14 1/2 months old, it's time for her independence and a sippy cup. You had a great relationship, now it's time to let her explore her little world more.
My son stopped nursing abruptly at 13 months. I offered to nurse him several times a day for a few days but he still refused.
I felt sad for a short period but it was more of a bittersweet experience for me. It was a realization that my little baby was becoming a toddler and was becoming more independent.
We would do a lot of cuddling during the day and he still craved the skin-to-skin contact that he was so used to. Several times a day he would climb on my lap and we would rock and he would rub my tummy (just like he did when he was being nursed). After about 5 minutes of cuddling he would get down and go play. This was a nice transition for both of us that lasted for months!
Don't think of it as "an end of a relationship", but as "a beginning of new experiences in your relationship with your child"!
Good for you for continuing this long. I hate to say this, but have you considered that you daughter is actually
"growing out of it"? Maybe she is trying to assert some independence by turning away from you. In which case, give her a sippy cup.
Hi K.,
I nursed my little girl until she was nearly 2 (given the fact that I wasn't going to do it at all, makes nursing her this long a miracle.) But, when she was about your little ones age, we quit nursing during the day and only did it for naps and bedtime. It's going to be harder for you than for her. You miss that time - it is a special time for Mommy and baby but she is getting to be a big girl now. Keep reading the stories and having snuggle time. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I am a frequent asker for hugs. It's almost a game with her now. But she nows that she is loved and we get our Mommy and Emma time. Good luck, you will be just fine and so will she!
Maybe she is giving you the message that she's done. She is 14.5 mo's old, how long do you plan on nursing?
K. good for you on making it this far she might be ready to give it up instead of no try oach when she bite she know what that meangood luck
I know, it's sad!! My 10-month-old daughter all of a sudden isn't interested in nursing during the day anymore (except sometimes AFTER her nap, which is normally NOT feeding time, but if I haven't pumped, then I'm READY to feed her!). Your child is probably just asserting independence and it's time to move to a cup, perhaps. That's what I've done now . . . still nursing morning and night, but I'm pumping and/or using my frozen breastmilk to get her through the days. I'm ready to start whole milk -- only another month to go!
Good for you to make it this far!!
Don't be sad, some kids bite as a way of self-weaning. She may just be done with the whole day nursing thing. My first baby stopped at 9 months. Just wasn't interested anymore, and wanted solid food and a bottle. I was so sad, but in the end it was absolutely consistent with his personality. Independent, knows what he wants and what he doesn't. My second baby was an occasional biter. He would bite - like yours - during the day, but not at night. I think during the day they are wide awake and adventureous, looking for new things and to be like older siblings, and then at night, they are tired and want the comforting, familiar things. My third son was a voracious nurser who started biting the minute he had teeth. Honestly, I just did not nurse him that long after that - and he is turning out great, so ...
HI K.,
In all honesty, I seriously doubt your daughter is self-weaning. Babies who self-wean typically do so gradually... not all at once. And certainly not seemingly tied to a specific event like this.
I do believe you are correct in your assumption that she got the signals mixed up. In addition, she is increasing her night feedings. Babies who are self-weaning do not increase nursing sessions at other times of the day. She is nursing more at night because she needs the milk, and is not biting because she is too sleepy.
Keep offering her the breast during the day... emphasising 'no TEETH, be gentle with mommy'. Just saying 'NO' doesn't give her any indication on what you are saying no to. Gently coax her, offering the breast... tell her 'it's ok to take milk gently'. Hopefully she will come back to her normal pattern. I would also try and contact a LLL group and see if they have any other suggestions.
www.kellymom.com also is a good site for information on things like this.
It's so wonderful that you are breastfeeding still!!! There are studies that have indicated the antibodies present in breastmilk are HIGHER in the second year then in the first. So, it is really beneficial for your baby to be still nursing.
Good luck. I know it is tough. You may also offer her a teether before she nurses ... to soothe the gums so it isn't an inviting to bite you during a nursing session.
Oh, and for those responses who basically said stop nursing and just give her a cup ... it's possible to do both. My daughter is almost 13 months old. She drinks her water from a cup, gets her milk from me. We typically have 4 sessions a day... which is fine for this age. She is eating more solids and just came out of a growth spurt.
Good luck. Feel free to message me if you have any questions, or just need some more support. :-)
Hi, Speaking from my experience with my now 5 year old and my son who just turn 13 months. Both of them sort of slowed down on the breastfeeding themselves after they turned 1. My son how ever is still nursing at night and more for me than him.(I dont want to lose the bond its sad :( So i guess i would say at least enjoy the feedings you do get to share with her and maybe she will come back around.
I think that it is great that you are still nursing. I would just keep offering and give her lots of kisses and cuddles. When she does ask to nurse tell her that it is ok and be gentle with mommy. If she does bite try using the words no teeth. To make sure that she understands what teeth are play the name that body part game (eyes, nose, mouth, teeth.. while pointing to the part).
I wish you many more happy months of nursing!!
K.
