Why Does She Keep Biting Me?

Updated on September 28, 2009
J.G. asks from Chicago, IL
26 answers

My daughter is 11 1/2 months old and has been exclusively breastfed. (She does eat solids, but her only liquid is breastmilk and water). We went through a phase at about 8 months of age where she started biting me while she was nursing. She would smile and look at me after she did it. Although it hurt quite a bit, I would remain calm, pull away and sternly say "No biting. Biting hurts mommy." She eventually stopped biting. But then it started again a few weeks ago and i don't know what to do b/c she has a lot more teeth and it hurts a lot more now. I try not to, but sometimes I cry out because it hurts so bad. I now tell her "No biting. Biting is bad. Biting hurts mommy". And I have had to put her down and not nurse her for a few minutes. But as soon as I put her back to nurse, she will bite again after a few seconds or minutes of nursing.

Sorry this has been so long, but I guess my question is do you think this means she is ready to wean? I just don't know what to think b/c there are times where she will nurse eagerly for a long time--especially in the morning, but when she is done, she will bite again and I just can't take it anymore. I was willing/wanting to nurse until 18 months or so, but if she's ready to stop, then I'm okay with that. The only problem is that I have been unable to pump more than 1 or 2 ounces at a time now, so there really isn't any expressed breast milk to give her. I really don't want to buy any formula since her 1st birthday is only two weeks away, but I'm not sure if it's too early to give her cow's milk...

What do you think????

J.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hiya J.,

It is a phase they going through biting. My daughter is 20 months old and I still breastfeed her as well. She does have a mouth full of teeth and she does bite me once in a while. When she does bite me I will let out a Loud "OUCH" and break her away from nursing and say "No biting and it HURTS!" Eventually she will get the message that if I continue to bite I will not get any more "Nummy" that is what my daughter calls it. She may cry for a moment or so but usually she will give me a kiss and say sorry then I usually will give it to her again if she asks for it otherwise I keep her busy with something else. It seems that she thinks it is a game and funny but I would not encourage her biting tho.

As for Cow Milk, as she doesn't have any allergies to milk, it is not too soon to introduce milk to her. My daughter drinks 1% milk along with the rest of the family. She doesn't like the whole milk nor do I, to thick and creamy in my opinion.

I hope that helps.

You can always PM me and I will respond as soon I could

Jen

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

J.,

I say let her decide if it's time to wean. If she bites, stop nursing her (that sitting). Don't give in. Tell her she hurt you and walk away. If she wants to nurse again, wait maybe 30 mins or so. Do the same thing again if she bites. Don't let this stress you out. You've been a CHAMP nursing this long.

I think it would be fine to give her cow's milk. I think 1 year is a guideline. She's almost there - so don't sweat it.

As far as if you "dry up" while you go through this biting phase, well then chalk it up to she decided to self wean. If she is upset by this, she'll get over it. You can still sit and rock with her, or read stories. Try to turn this into a "transition" for some big girl activity. She may be a bit reluctant, but this too shall pass.

Good luck!

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

Biting and nursing are separate issues. She's not biting because she wants to wean; she's biting because she wants to bite. Address the biting and keep nursing if that's really what you want to do. My daughter bit at around 6 months when she had a couple of new teeth she wanted to use. I couldn't help but yelp and I would frown and say no and take her off the breast. If she put her teeth on me or grinned mischieviously, I would remind her very sternly "no bite" and if she bit again, I ended the nursing session. I was careful to stay ahead of the bite and wouldn't let her linger on the breast once her nursing slowed down. It took about a month before she stopped (she didn't bite every time) and she's never done it since. She has occassionally put teeth on me and looked at me without biting, and I always frown and say "no bite" and she doesn't. Also, sometimes they bite as they fall asleep becasue the nipple is falling out of their mouth and they're trying to hold on to it, so watch out for that as well. We are still happily nursing. I did have a friend whose son bit her so hard she bled for a couple days, and she weaned after that without trying to get him stop because she was just too scared. Every child and every mom is different. Do what's best for you, but just know that if you wean it will be for other reasons than your daughter's readiness. Your breasts are important too, you are one of the two people in this equation, and there's no need to let yourself be harmed.

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter did the same thing, only she started at 9 1/2 months. She was challenging to breastfeed, from the start. I was willing to go much longer too but, unfortunately, her independent nature wanted otherwise. I learned to immediately close shop, I tried saying "no biting" sternly, but to no avail. I realized that my milk supply had greatly diminished. Sadly, I had to close shop, for good, and it was very upsetting because I wasn't ready. She enjoyed her newfound teeth way too much and I took it a bit personal.

My daughter went from the breast to a sippy cup, because, just days later she bit the nipple right off of the bottle. My husband, trying to cheer me up, reasoned that the "bottle could have been me!". Even though that chapter in my life had closed, I soon realized that her needing me to hold her and cuddle with her, never stopped.

The experience with my second child was totally different. Every concern that had happened with my first, never happened. Unfortunately, this time, at 18 months, I had to close shop because I had a terrible respiratory infection that lasted for a while. It was equally sad because my baby wasn't ready to be weaned - but it was time.

Yes, I gave my baby cow's milk and my children are very healthy (a teen and a tween). Check with your doctor for his opinion.

Perhaps this won't be your scenario but I wish you well with the outcome. Yes, biting hurts.

Good luck.

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

If you wish to keep nursing, you can try a couple of things. One, try to change the position you nurse her in. Rather than the cradle hold, try having her sit more upright with her feet behind you (not across your lap). Could be that she is teething and the angle you are nursing her at is causing discomfort to her gums. When my daughter was teething I would try to sit her more upright and it was less painful for me, as well. The other thing you can try is whenever she starts to bite down, bring her into your breast, but taking your hand on the back of her head and pushing her in. This will cause her to release and you can end the nursing session. I would not scold her or give her any emotion. I would just end the nursing session, put her down and walk away.

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

My take is....you can get through this. Don't give up nursing yet. Try everything you can before giving it up. She's far from needing to wean (based on age). Sounds painful, though, so you need a solution. Have you talked to a lactation consultant or checked their website? (I'm not a lactation consultant.) Have you tried just a little flick on her cheek? I'm not into spanking or hurting your child, but something little that would make her blink and send the message that you're serious. I think it's good that you make her stop nursing. Be vigilant. At the first hint of teeth, I'd do a light flick, a stern look, sternly saying "no" and making her get off your lap. The punishment meets the crime. If she bites, she loses privileges of nursing. Oh, I hope it works for you!!! Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think biting means she's ready to wean. Honestly, I think it just feels good to gnaw and maybe she's testing boundaries. Or maybe she's teething. My baby bit at 8 months and I yelled in surprise and pain and then gave him a firm "no". He took the breast in mouth, looked at me, put his teeth on it (didn't bite down), looked at me, I said no and he started crying and then refused to nurse (went on a nursing strike). He was overtired on that particular day and I guess he didn't take well to being restricted. Anyway, I wanted to continue nursing and pumped and bottle fed him and then would nurse him at night while he was asleep and hardly aware he was nursing and we got through it.

One of the things I started doing after that was when he was nursing nicely, I would say "good nursing, mama likes it when you nurse like that." so that if he bit me again, I would have something positive to fall back on, "No biting, biting hurts, good nursing, mama likes good nursing, let's try good nursing" or something like that. Once I'd used the good nursing for a little bit, I found positive worked better than just the no.

Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds more like you are ready to wean, not her! My son bit after nursings for a while. I tried to remove him from the breast right after he was done truly eating, and before he was just "hanging out" on the breast. It helped to keep a finger near his mouth so I could quickly put detach him. He grew out of it.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

When my son is teething, or just after new teeth come in he bites me. At 10 month old he has almost 12 teeth. When he is in a biting phase, I try to put orajel on his gums and wait about 10 minutes before I feed him. It does hurt, and he has caused me to bleed. I do know what you are going through. You are almost done.

Also, My doc siad that we should start to go to whole milk at 11 month old. Talk to your Dr. and see if it so okay since it is only 2 weeks. All doc's have different ideas.

Pumping- if you have not been pump, that is why you are only getting a little out. Keep trying. Look at picture of her, listen to her cry, there are things that can help with the let down to be able to get more milk.

Good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think it means you have to stop,or even that she wants to wean. It's just something they can go through. I had one that I would flick her check when she bit. I tried the no, etc. She would just laugh. I decided that I thought it was better to keep nursing, and just flick her check enough to let her know that it wasn't okay. I know a lot of people would disagree with me, but it worked. My other two I didn't have to do that with. Just a "no, be nice" was enough. They have different personalities even at this age:)

P.S. www.kellymom.com is a great site (and I didn't get my idea to flick her check there, so if I totally freaked you out by recommending it, don't blame kelly mom:)

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

Is she still smiling after she does it? I know that a lot of times babies are biting because they are teething. It's possible also that she likes the attention even though it's negative. (Not that you don't give her positive attention). Maybe you should not say anything and just put her down when she does it.

I'm sure there is no reason you can't switch her to cows milk if she is only 2 weeks away from her birthday. No reason to switch to formula for only 2 weeks.

My son is nearly 14 months and is finally getting his bottom teeth. He has 3 across the top. He is biting not just when nursing, but has also bit his brother and tried to bite another baby's toes.

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T.D.

answers from Chicago on

Both of my daughters transitioned to whole milk at 10.5 months with no problem. My oldest went from formula to whole milk, but my second daughter was exclusively breastfed until I started to transistion her to whole milk. I was going to continue nursing her for a few months while transistioning, but after a week or two, she pushed me away and just took the bottle of whole milk. She choose to stop nursing. Since your daughter is so close to a year, I would start a whole milk bottle a few times a day and go from there. See how she does with it. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Peoria on

well i didnt get to breast feed longer than 2 weeks because my milk dried up but many people i know that did breastfeed stop once the child started to bit.also if you dont want your child to have cows milk yet soy milk is very good for them. my little one who is now 14months wont drink cows milk she doesnt like it so she has soy milk. well hope this helps good luck with everything

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T.H.

answers from Chicago on

I think it's more of a teething thing than a being mean thing. I have nursed 5 babies to a minimum of 12 months old each (well, still nursing the fifth one...she's only 9 months!) and this is what worked for me. Every time they would start biting, I would thump their mouth (not hard, just enough to get their attention!). They would look at me and cry (it was heartbreaking!), but the biting stopped! This might work for you too. Good luck and congratulations on your successful nursing!!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Is it possible that she is simply not hungry when you are breast feeding her? She could just simply be losing interest.

only pumping 1-2 oz is not necessarily an indication that she is nursing less, but it might be. It is generally the suckle that provides the stimulation that is required to keep the breast milk going.

Are you feeding her before or after solids? Try keeping it before solids.

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J.B.

answers from Chicago on

I read in either a Dr. Sears book or a LLL book (I can't remember which) about a technique that I used on my daughter, and it proved to be successful. When your baby bites down on your nipple, pull her head into your breast (carefully, of course) until both her nose and mouth are covered by your breast. This will force her to open her mouth and gasp for air. As soon as she gasps for air, release her, and she should come right off the breast (because her mouth will be open). She will also associate not being able to breathe with biting down, and she'll stop doing it right quick. I only had to do this about two or three times before my daughter stopped biting down on me. It may sound a bit violent, but I found it to be less violent than scolding her would be. It was a quick, little technique, and it worked.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

She could be teething again. Biting isn't a sign of her wanting to wean, it's just an urge that happens when she has something in her mouth. Also, it could be a cause and effect reaction, which has set in at that age; she wants to see your reaction. Either way, you can get through it if you don't want to wean her. You are doing the right thing by not allowing her to bf when she bites you. Another thing to think about when nursing her is if she is really hungry or just bored or seeking comfort? Because when they are just playing around and not really wanting the milk biting happens more. Keep removing her when she bites you and giving her a firm "No biting." and don't let her right back on. Also, pay attention to her sucking. If she's not drawing deep then she could be more likely to bite- in that case remove her. It could happen quickly or it could take a little time, but she will get the message not to bite you if she still wants to nurse!

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D.R.

answers from Chicago on

At that age, they can understand much more than they can communicate to you. When she does it, next time tell her "if you are done, you need to tell Mommy some other way like waving your hands because biting hurts Mommy". See if she will give you a sign - which you and she can work out. Use this sign for other things to signal she is done (eating, playing, etc). We taught our daughter some sign language and it was a life saver - we knew when she was done, tired, wanting to play, if she was hungry or thirsty, etc. It sounds like she just doesn't know how to stop in a gentle way. Good luck!

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T.L.

answers from Chicago on

she is not trying to wean. She is a toddler that is teething or testing her limits. My daughter would laugh if I gave her a reaction so I ignored it and she would stop. If she bit me because she was teething i wouold make sure she had a dose of teething tablets. No 11 and a half month old is trying to wean from nursing, though at this age it is easier to do it because they are highly distracted. I would fins a local La Leche League group of nursing group at the hospital for further advice. Good luck and keep up the great work!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

My 15 month old bites sometimes too but it's usually only at the end......if this is how it is with you too then really you just need to take her off sooner. She is kinda telling you she is done with that breast. If they are playing, then either they aren't hungry or they aren't getting anything else from that side. My son usually only does that when I have left him on that side for too long. No reason to wean!

Also, I wouldn't worry about getting upset....I get upset....I have screamed before it hurt so bad. I think getting upset/letting them know they hurt you is what teaches them that it is NOT funny and it is NOT a game. Maybe when she bites put her down. Go away and do something else for a while. Don't just sit there for few minutes and then try again. Help her make the connection that biting = I dont' get anymore milk. I would wait at least 10 or 15 min before trying again cause it sounds like she isn't getting the connection.

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D.B.

answers from Decatur on

Hi J.!
It sounds like she might be teething. Before you nurse you might try giving her some Hyland's teething tablets or one of those numbing gels or whatever you use for teething pain. Also once they get older like this, sometimes they bite because they are done or get *bored* at the breast. So make sure to pay attention to when she is not activly nursing anymore and take her off. Otherwise what you are doing is exactly what I did...take her off, tell her no that hurts, give her a break and then resume if she needs to. She is certainly too young to be self weaning already. I would say her teeth/mouth hurts or she is just playing.

Good luck!

And congrats on a great nursing relationship that you have!!

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

The doctor may recommend that your daughter begin drinking whole milk soon since she is almost 12 months. Don't resist the urge to let her know that she's hurting you when she bites...it's important in their development to understand empathy...i.e. that their actions towards another can cause discomfort or pain that would similarly make them cry/feel the same way. There isn't anything wrong with that at all.

Babies are enthralled with their own development. Once they learn to walk they want to do it ALL the time...they learn to go up & down the stairs - they want to do it ALL the time...they get teeth - they want to use them ALL the time. Biting isn't to hurt you...she doesn't understand that it hurts...she thinks it's a game...So, it's natural. The important part is how we teach them to deal with their "newness".

They will do almost anything you ask of them...it's all in how you ask & how you "sell" it...If you want to keep with nursing then work with her & biting. I've biten (gently but firmly) my daughter back so she understood how it physically feels to put your teeth into another person.

Whatever you try will work as long as you're fully committed to it.

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B.B.

answers from Chicago on

As we ladies know, the nipples are very, very sensitive. If you've been breast feeding her exclusively for (you may as well say a year) this long, trust me, a few weeks is not going to hurt her. But, if you need to be perfectly sure, ask her pediatrician. I have 9 children and not one of them were breast fed. Do you think that's why they're 2 cans short of a six-pack? LOL Seriously, times have changed so much since I've had kids but I really don't think that two weeks will matter. Maybe your beautiful daughter is trying to tell you (in her own way) that enough is enough. :o) Take care.
Barb

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

She keeps biting because she has these new things in her mouth that she is learning to use. She does not understand that biting hurts because she doesn't know what the word biting means. I taught my children about biting by biting them back. Just enough that they could understand what I meant when I said no biting. Children learn from experience just like us. They don't know hot until they feel it. Then they have to learn the difference between hot to touch and hot to taste. How will she know it hurts you if you don't react. I am not saying that you need to scream and throw her to the floor. But children look at their mommys face and facial expressions are important for them to see and learn. Thats mom mad face, thats her happy face and that face means something hurts. I realize that you want to breatfeed for a whole year and that is wonderful but when it hurts you and she can get what she needs from solid foods and vitamins. Remember you have to watch and learn from your child and sometimes your plan has to be altered.

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R.S.

answers from Chicago on

J.,

My daughter tends to bite/really chomp down more when she's cutting a new tooth. Could that be the case with your daughter?

As far as remedies -- I think you're doing the right thing by telling her "No!" and stopping nursing for a bit.

You could contact your local La Leche League if it doesn't get better (assuming you want to continue breastfeeding).

Best,
R.

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