Breastfeeding/weaning a 2-Year Old: Your Experience!

I completely understand what you are going through and am about to face it myself with my 2+ year old boy. We have been talking about it a lot and I have set a date for him at the end of this month to stop. We look at the calendar every day and talk about it. He is going to get a big boy (toddler) bed at the same time to make it a real "big boy" transition (I am hoping the bed does not backfire!). I think that getting the child involved in the decision and making something else to look forward to is making the idea of it easier...I have yet to see if this will hold up! Good luck!!

I had this exact same experience. I swear no one ever warns you about this and I never found a book that told me how to resolve it!

I had the same experience with my two girls. My oldest nursed until 30 months and the youngest until 23 months.

It was a fluke that my 1st one weaned. I was pregnant with #2 and came down with the flu so bad I couldn't keep anything down. Nursing was out that day and that somehow was the end.

With #2 I was determined not to get caught in the same predicament so we seized the moment one busy weekend when there just wasn't time to nurse. She was occupied and didn't seem to notice. When Monday came she started asking and I some how convinced her she no longer needed it.

Like you, both of mine nursed to sleep so my husband had to take over the bedtime routine. He distracted her with the ceiling fan, the blue light in the humidifier, snuggled with her until she fell asleep. As for naps she cut them out altogether at that point and that was okay.

I donated my copy of "How Weaning Happens" by Diane Bengson to my local library so you may want to request it. I never felt it addressed my particular predicament but maybe you'll find a glimmer of hope in it. (I saw it is checked out so we apparently are not the only ones that went down this same path!!)

PS. Ironically I sometimes feel I cheated #2 out of one month of breastfeeding because I would have liked to make it to the 24 month mark. LOL

im still breast feeding my daughter 25 months old its driving me crazy because she is so attached although i have a six yr old that i breast fed for 19 1/2 months and i pumped out the last two ounces and that was the end of that but the whole thing was is that i had problem so you really have to feel like its a medical problem for the child or someother motive in order for you to stop i felt i had to because if i didn't she would have been hospitalized for malnutrition i was scared so stopped now i have nothing motavating me to stop.

Dear L.,
I breastfed only until 10 mos. (I got sick), 12-13 months for the other two. The only difference as to whether you breastfeed longer is that the good bacteria develops more in the colon and your child has a stronger immune system. The benefit of weaning around a 1 year old is that they are not in the "terrible two's" stage of development. They are quite equipped at 2 to tell you what they want and, saying "no" is part of they're understanding that they cannot get what they want all the time. Fighting for the breast is quite "testy" but I have a recommendation that may ease the separation. It is The Better Baby Institute, Howe to Teach your Baby to Read, by Glen Doman. It was worth all the time and effort that I put into the program. I took pictures of my children, and made them their own books. How to Teach your Baby to Read was important as far as the material they read is the right size print, in the correct format, etc. The Institute is located in Chestnut Hill, PA 19118 and has a lot of other material on-line and at their store. I hope that this will help him develop.
Please understand that the world is opening up for your child and your breast is his security blanket. Unless you want him grabbing at your breast at 4-5 years of age, I would really encourage distractions that will help him develop into the child you want him to be.
I wish you well with your dilema. I have heard of situations that have occurred with older children nursing and I do not want to wish those situations on you.
Enjoy your family and encourage your husband to jump in with helping you.....it will all work out...it always does.
Enjoy your family, good luck
E.

I breastfed my daughter till she was 2 and I was pregnant with my son. I found it was more of an adjustment for me than her, once it was all said and done! My method was to introduce another "milk" via sippy cup during the times she nursed. I started with vanilla soy since I knew it would be a treat, and she really liked it. Then I started mixing half vanilla soy with half plain soy, then eventually took the vanilla soy out completely. She never once complained or had a fit about no more breastmilk. I just explained that there was no more. Bizarre! I thought she would be upset when she saw me nurse the baby and she didn't. I can't believe my luck. Now my son is 15 mos old and I intended to wean him at one and find myself not really trying. I think I'm anticipating a problem when maybe there won't be. Or, maybe subconsciously, I'm aware that since we don't intend to have more children, I'm holding on to the nursing even though I'm ready to be done with it. So complicated! Good luck.

L.,
I felt like I was reading a story of me and my son :-). I nursed my son until 28 months and we only stopped because I was 4 months pregnant and needed to stop for nutrition reasons. We were only nursing for 1 nap and bedtime and I had stopped the middle of the night nursings just by comforting him back to sleep. I had always put my son to bed but, my husband took over and our son made the switch fairly easily. The naptime nursings were a bit harder to stop because he wasn't as tired and didn't give up as easily, but after some tears he would go to sleep and it was only a week or so before he didn't ask anymore.
I agree with the other mom's about breaking the routine, this is a big help and can make it a bit easier.

My daughter was easier to wean, she nursed until 20 months and then had a super cold with a stuffy nose for a couple of days and just couldn't nurse and we just ran with it and she was weaned over a couple of days and was fine with it.

I know as mom's we feel self guilt about so many things, and nursing to fall asleep can be one of them, but on the flipside...I so cherish those moments I had with my children when they were snuggled next to me going to dreamland. My son is now 5 and most of the time he is too busy to snuggle with me and I'm glad I have those memories.

Good luck and remember that you will make it even if you have difficult moments, they are only temporary!

S. M.

Bribe him! That's what I did! My son was 27-28 months (can't remember exactly now -- he's now nearly 11!) and would NOT give it up... similar to you, it was just at bedtime.

At the time, we had a Harley, and Fisher Price made a battery-powered ride-on version for about $200. I made it a point to show it to him at Toys R Us a few times, and then told him that if he gave up "nonny" he could have it!

It was a done deal in less than two weeks!! I made sure he was 'done' before I spent that much money, but he was!

Best of luck to you guys!

Hi,

I nursed my daughter until she was 18 months. So, it wasn't quite as long. She didn't nurse to fall asleep, though. Her big nursing times were first thing in the morning and right when I got home from work. She was on whole milk the rest of the time and if I was away from her, she didn't even think about it.

I went away one weekend and I pumped while I was gone and expected that she would want to nurse again when I got home. But, she never asked for it again after that. I was gone for 3 or 4 nights.

So, I didn't plan it, but it worked out because I was ready to stop and I don't think she would have stopped otherwise. And she was always fine without having it when I wasn't around, so it didn't really affect her.

I hope that helps!

I nursed each of my boys until well over 2. I loved it! My boys sound much like yours about the breast-worshiping thing! When we finally decided to wean, we did it gradually, starting with the breastfeeding during the day and moving on from there. The night weaning part, though, was NOT fun! First, I had talks with each of them during the daytime for a while, telling them that the milk was almost all gone now...that since he was a big boy now, he could drink milk from a big boy cup, and he didn't need Mama's milk any more, because that's only for babies. That logic helped lay the foundation. When it was time to cut out night weaning, I told them that the milk was now all gone, and that if they woke up in the night, we would cuddle, he could have some water, etc., but that the milk was all gone. Then when he would wake up, I would remind him of the talk... But in reality, when your sleeping boy wakes up and is used to nursing, reminding him that it is no longer an option can be tough. The first son, when I reminded him, started wailing and wailing and cried himself back to sleep. If he woke up in the night after that first night, my husband or I would hold him for a while, but as soon as he remembered the situation, he would sadly climb back in bed and refuse to let us comfort him. It was so sad! During the day he was perfectly fine, though, and the nighttime sadness quickly went away.

Our youngest son was a different story. He was a little negotiator and would try everything to keep nursing at night for quite a long time after I weaned him. He was also sad about it, but not as deeply as his brother was. After he got used to the new arrangement, which took a good week or 2, at least, he was fine. Definitely the hardest part of weaning for us! Our youngest has not nursed for about 3 years (he's now 5), and he STILL talks about it lovingly and longingly ("Mama, do you remember when I used to drink milk from your breasts...I liked that...")

Best wishes. Enjoy that wonderful closeness while you can!

C.

I breastfed till my son was about 2.5 years old, and I also did the nurse to sleep thing at nap and bedtime. I was very gradual about weaning. I gradually removed nursing times that he wasn't super attached to - redirected to other drinks, etc. Got pretty much down to sleeping time and when he woke up at night. The thing that helped at this point was HAVING A BABYSITTER he loved. She got him to sleep for naps without breastfeeding, so he and I both knew it was possible :) I did my best to make sure that she could put him down for a nap as much as possible. After that was in place, I took away the nurse-to-sleep at night thing. Took a little while, but it worked. I still nursed when he woke up in the middle of the night, but he needed that less and less - was just sucking, not really nursing. Then he started calming down and settling back to sleep without nursing. I felt good about it, my breasts didn't explode from tons of milk (a bonus to the super gradual weaning), and he was good with it. He still loves my breasts and knows they were special - he ALWAYS wants to hug me when I'm changing clothes around him (cracks me up), and if I wear a shirt that has a little bit of cleavage showing, he'll lay his head down on my chest. Very occassionaly, he'll try to nurse but I tell him that it's for babies to help them grow, and that he's a big boy now, etc. He's ok with that :) Good luck!

My son was the same way! When I weaned him it was when we went away on vacation for a week - no where special, just traveleing around over the holidays last year visiting relatives. But, our "routine" was disrupted, and after a week the milk was leaving too. That's not to say he still didn't try to sneak up my shirt when we came home, and didn't cry about how much he missed them, but the main break away was over. Good Luck!

I breastfed until 22 months and 14 months. With the first one, it came down to one night when she had nursed for an hour and a half to sleep, then woke up screaming because I moved the wrong way. My husband woke up, told her to go to sleep, and she did just like that. The next morning, I grabbed a binky and gave it to her anytime she wanted to nurse. She screamed, but I just held her close and comforted her. She got the same closeness that she craved without nursing, and was weaned in just a couple of days.

With the second, I did the binky thing again. However, I had to do it in steps. First cut out all daytime feeding, and then all night time. I just engorged too much when I tried all at once. I also told her that she got her milk in a cup at that point.

The big thing was still cuddle my little ones and give that special mommy time.

I had the same reasons for everything right around 24 months, my daughter did not self wean like I hoped at one also, she loved nursing and was not showing any signs of stopping we nursed to sleep as well, now shes 3 and has not nursed in a little over a year. It seems like it will be terrible but it wasn't and I have a stubborn one that can cry for over 2 hours to get her way, I 1st stopped the night nuring we stopped this the day after her 2nd birthday, b/c like you I could reason with it until she turned 2 since they actually reccomend it but I J. thought I was being looked at differently and was taught it was odd after this age. I layed beside her and told her I did not have any more and that it was for babies (we had been telling her for a little while that it stopped when she turned 2), she didn't like this idea, but I stuck to it, I rubbed her head and patted her back while she sobbed, but it didn't last that long I stuck to my guns and she fell asleep in an hour got up a few times and repeated the process through the night, and then the 2nd night was a little worse, but I still nursed her during nap time to make it easier, and b/c I worked from home and could not give up naps jusst yet, and then the 3rd night she asked but didn't make a fuss, after around 4 weeks of doing this, we slowly cut out nap time nursing, this was a little harder but I J. held her and sung to her while she sobbed, and after a bunch of days she became accustomed to M. hugging her and rubbing her back to get her to sleep. The biggest advice I can give is, stick to your guns, no matter how much they sob, b/c if you give in after you start (make sure you've def. decided its time), he will cry longer and harder the next time hoping you will give in and it will be harder on the both of you. And remember it's breaking your heart more than his, he's crying b/c he's not getting want he loves, but it will not affect him, after a few days to a few weeks depending how stubborn he is, he will not cry over it, my daughter still asked for months but did not cry. I tried bribing before J. quitting but they love thier milk more than any bribe, so you J. have to quit and maybe after the crying stops you can go out on the town and have a special night to celebrate to make it positive, go to chuck e cheese, or an indoor amusement park and dinner and make a big fuss that he's a big boy, he will still love you and remember nursing fondly, the few days that it's hell will not make an impression, my daughter still talks about nursing but does not mention the stopping

Hi L.,
I just, last month, weaned my 31 month old daughter. I certainly didn't want to do it in between the holidays but I had to undergo a medical procedure that required me to take some heavy drugs. Anyway, I can tell you that it was a tough couple of weeks. I'm not one to let my kids cry so it really wore me out. It was especially hard because she was used to nursing for naps, at bedtime and any time she wanted it. Also, she would wake up 2-3 times during the night to nurse. Well, let me tell you that after 2 weeks - things are much better at our house! For one, she is sleeping through the night and is a much happier kid in the mornings. Second, since she's sleeping better-so am I. Thirdly, hubby and I have more time to ourselves after they're in bed. So the long and short of it is this: It'll be rough for the first week or so but it'll be worth it in the end. Good luck to you!

Sorry to say, I don't have any good advice, but just thought I'd sympathize with you. My daughter shows no signs of backing off nursing and in fact acts like solids just don't fill her up and often wants to nurse after meals! We too are up a few times at night as well. It is hard - especially missing out on sleep! - but I guess if we keep reminding ourselves that it is good for them, it might help! :)

I guess I would suggest trying to nap first without nursing, that's the route we went with out first child, but it won't be fun. Good luck!

My daughter also was attached and would fall asleep breastfeeding. She was 25 months old, and I'm sure would have continued for months later. I found out I was pregnant with her little sister and at that time thought it was best to wean her. Although very difficult she would "cry feed you, feed you" to which I would respond that "it was all gone". Maybe in telling him it's all gone and be persistant,as with anything a child is used to, it will always be hard to take away. It was difficult, but it worked.

I wish you luck.

Hi L.,
I just, last month, weaned my 31 month old daughter. I certainly didn't want to do it in between the holidays but I had to undergo a medical procedure that required me to take some heavy drugs. Anyway, I can tell you that it was a tough couple of weeks. I'm not one to let my kids cry so it really wore me out. It was especially hard because she was used to nursing for naps, at bedtime and any time she wanted it. Also, she would wake up 2-3 times during the night to nurse. Well, let me tell you that after 2 weeks - things are much better at our house! For one, she is sleeping through the night and is a much happier kid in the mornings. Second, since she's sleeping better-so am I. Thirdly, hubby and I have more time to ourselves after they're in bed. So the long and short of it is this: It'll be rough for the first week or so but it'll be worth it in the end. Good luck to you!

Hi L.,
I just, last month, weaned my 31 month old daughter. I certainly didn't want to do it in between the holidays but I had to undergo a medical procedure that required me to take some heavy drugs. Anyway, I can tell you that it was a tough couple of weeks. I'm not one to let my kids cry so it really wore me out. It was especially hard because she was used to nursing for naps, at bedtime and any time she wanted it. Also, she would wake up 2-3 times during the night to nurse. Well, let me tell you that after 2 weeks - things are much better at our house! For one, she is sleeping through the night and is a much happier kid in the mornings. Second, since she's sleeping better-so am I. Thirdly, hubby and I have more time to ourselves after they're in bed. So the long and short of it is this: It'll be rough for the first week or so but it'll be worth it in the end. Good luck to you!

Hi, L.:

Contact your local Breast feeding consultant at La Leche League at

www.llli.org

If they can't help you, please let me know.

D.

I had the same problem. I seriously never thought my son would stop nursing but he was fully weaned by 13 months. I cut out the middle nursing first. Then I cut out the night nursing. I had previously seen a post on this on mamsource and used it's advice on this. When my son woke up to night nurse I said - you are a big boy now and you don't need to eat now. please go back to bed. He screamed at me but I did not give in. I did however hold him to make him feel secure. He used to night nurse a lot so this was hard but within 2-3 nights of doing this he was nightweaned. then i cut out the bedtime feed and finally I weaned him from the last nurse which was the morning feeding. It went really well since he was used to taking bottles of breastmilk/whole milk. The only real problem I had was with my body. I had read many books on how to wean but they really don't tell you about how to wean you. Make sure you continue to pump while weaning. when you drop the 1st feeding, pump for 5 mins during that feed the first day and decrease by 1 min each day until that pumping session is fully finished then move on to dropping the next feed the same way (this is what the lactation consultant advised when i experienced engorgement). If you still feel engorged you can put cabbage leaves on your breasts just remove them when they wilt. good luck and feel free to contact me with any questions.