My child is almost 11. She really loves Bruno Mars but I really don't like the content. She mostly listens to christian music or Justin Beiber, etc. I haven't yet told that that she can't listen to it b/c I haven't done more research. I don't want to be a prude mom, but I want my 10 year old listening to music that is a little more wholesome than some. Any thoughts?
What did you listen to as a kid? I remember singing, "Afternoon Delight" and having no clue as to what it meant.
It's top 40 pop music - let her listen to it. It's not like she's asking to listen to Anthrax or Nine Inch Nails.
Most kids aren't listening to the lyrics, it's the beat of the music. All 3 of my kids listen to Bruno Mars and we love his stuff...not that we take his words to heart. We teach our kids that music is for fun and not to follow. If I ever see them doing something because of a song, it's out.
@Amyj156 - Seriously? There is nothing wrong with my parenting and nothing wrong with teaching limitations. I don't limit my kids to things that only other people think are okay. Music is for fun. Because a song says "I want to be lazy today" and we like to dance to it, doesn't mean we get to sit on the couch all day. I'm sorry for you if you can't take something as harmless as music and make it fun for your family.
@ Bethy - just wanted to add that just because my approach does not match yours does not mean either of us are RIGHT. We are both right for our kids. I don't let me kids watch Spongebob...but that doesn't make me a prude anymore than you not letting the kids listen to Bruno.
Hello!
The more you withhold something from your children, the more they will want it...just like when you were a kid and your mom said NO, you will NOT have that or NO, you cannot do that? Didn't it make you want to devise a plan to get it?
Instead of withholding it - let her listen to it - use it as a dialogue for open communication...she's 10. She's hitting the tweens really fast - so instead of saying NO - say YES and listen to it with her...talk with her about it and use it to tell her what you think....get her to tell you what she thinks - is it just the great beat or is it more?
Think back to what you listened to when you were growing up.
If you start forbidding things that are the norm for her age group, she will find a way to go behind your back.
Communicate with her, keep those lines wide open. Use things like this as learning experiences vs cutting her off from reality.
One of my kids wanted to know about the cloistered nuns that live in this monastery near by so I made arrangements to visit. Keep in mind that cloistered means that they don't leave the grounds and have very limited contact with people outside the monastery. This young nun came to the room to visit and answer any questions that my kids had. One of my kids asked what kind of music they listen to and she said that their whole life was dedicated to prayer and to things that are holy so they listen to holy music. They asked if she missed the music she listened to before she became a nun. She said she didn't miss it, but that it took a full year for the lyrics of the music she once listened to quit running through her head. That really hit me. The music they listen to doesn't just pass through their little noggins. It leaves a lasting impression. If you think about it, it makes sense. Often times if we want to memorize something, we put it to music to make it easier. You're not a prude if you limit what your kids listen to, you're a good Mom.
My daughter is 18 now but when she was 10-11 it was prime Britney, Christina, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, and ALL those darn boy bands. I took her to tons of concerts and plays as well. I didn't see a problem with it at all. I also didn't have a problem and went out of our way to travel and see museums with expected nudity. I'm not going to give her a beer at that age and I'm not going to shelter her...no big deal! All generations have their forbidden artists that seem too crazy for the parents. Even now she also likes a lot of different artists, some with questionable lyrics. She doesn't go around singing profanity or talking "gangsta", she was exposed and not forbidden. Worked out perfectly fine for us.
I really like his music - its catchy and fun to sing to. BUT, the lyrics are not what I want my child to hear and repeat. So we only listen to him on the radio-specifically stations that edit out the harsh lyrics.
@Mom2KCK- I don't understand this logic. By having something as a natural and fun part of your lifestyle, you're normalizing it. Desensitization to behaviors like the ones described in the song is an inevitability - an observable fact. Your approach is like cultivating a flower with ample food and sunlight and forbidding it to bloom.
Not that exposures to things contrary to your value system don't provide teachable moments, but I think the difference is in the frequency.
Bethy, I think your approach is a wise one. Far better to lay down a solid foundation in the value system you embrace and find that your kids can make their choices more thoughtfully and with regard for potential consequences.
you can look up lyrics online. that's what i did when picking songs to load on my sons mp3 player.
I think he's awesome. I'd let my 11 year old see him.
My daughter is 10 and I think Bruno Mars is the LEAST of our worries! I have to contantly enforce no Ke$ha, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. I allow her to listen to a few of the songs, but I'm constantly mad at the fact that most of them are about partying, drinking, kissing girls, etc.
I get that the kids aren't listening to the lyrics but they are THERE. What better way to get the lyrics in people's heads than to set them to catchy music?
Pick out the Bruno Mars songs that are appropriate and let her listen to those. I don't think their lyrics are that bad. One of them is about loving someone just the way they are.
Bruno's first song (Just the Way You Are) is a fav of mine and my girls (5 & 9). However, Grenade is a bit much. My 5 year old is clueless as to what he's saying yet my 9 year old doesn't care for the song at all. We have a rule in our home when it comes to non Christian music. If it's a "grown up" song, we don't play it. Like I dont want my kids singing "sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me" by Rihanna. So far, they both love KidzBop. Same music w/o suggestive lyrics. If your daughter likes Bruno, I'm sure some of his music is on the latest kidz bop cd.
Also, you said you haven't done more research before letting her listein to Bruno. I don't think that's being a prude mom. I listein to the same pop station my kids do and I've found that when I'm not paying attention (i.e., on the phone or not in the room) my 9 year old will tell my 5 year old, "that's a grown up song" and she'll turn the station.
I am with you on this one. His latest song trivialises marriage - and I was shocked!
I can't stop my kids from listening as it's on every radio station, but I did sit them down and talk to them about the words and the content of the lyrics.
That made me feel better. See if it helps you?
http://www.muminawe.com
sure........his stuff is pretty tame.......could be A LOT worse.
