Hi T.,
I'm sorry I don't have a recommendation for a therapist in the area... but I do know of a great pediatrician who specializes in chronic problems including ADHD and behavioral issues. Often times these problems are compounded by diet and other physical issues.
www.healthisfreedom.com
I have heard her give a talk at a mommy group I attend, and she really has a compassionate nature and a desire to help children overcome their chronic issues. I'm not saying you DON'T need to see a therapist...but this may also be a path you may want to think about to help with the overall issues of the ADHD.
In addition, I'm really not surprised the previous counselor focused on you. People (young or old) respond to us in a manner that we allow them to respond. I'm guessing there are things you may be doing, that you aren't intentionally doing, that are saying to your son 'it's ok to treat me like this'. We can tell our kids all day long that they shouldn't do this or that...but if we aren't consistent or there are no consequences that are consistent, then they won't 'hear' what we are saying. Obviously I don't know personally, and am not there. But I wouldn't be surprised if ANY counselor would be talking to you quite a bit as well as your child. We have to teach our kids what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. They are not going to make that right choice on their own. I wouldn't assume this is something that a counselor can fix just by focusing on your son...this is going to be a family effort.
I hope you can find the help you are looking for. Not enjoying your son must be heartbreaking.