ok...my boyfriend and I now live together, and we have my 2 little girls ages 2 and 3 that live with us. but now about 5 days out of every week we have his little boys ages 3 and 4. Their mother isnt one of the good ones....She never has them and if she did and i were her i wouldnt admit to it...example...we leave them and pick them up at the great grandmothers house...and every time we get them...the mother is never there, the boys are always dirty and smelly, and dirt is caked under their nails, they never have socks on with their sneakers, most of the time they never have on underwear, and the oldest one ALWAYS smells like pee, well come to find out the oldest one pees on himself at night, and his shoes had come apart completely (we have him a pair of brand new $60 air force nikes that we keep at our home so they dont get ruined) well we decided to test the mother, i took them home on a sunday, bathed, and completely trimmed from head to toe, hair cut, nails done, and clean clothes, boxers, and socks. i picked them up on thursday...same clothes same shoes, same underwear and no socks and the oldest one smelled like pee...also, she had called during those 4 days to get money from my boyfriend...when we picked them up the oldest one with the messed up shoes still had the messed up shoes but she had her hair done!!!! what do we do??? how can we use this in court to get custody and what else do we need?
Document, document, document. And call CPS now. Those children are being neglected and deserve better.
YES! I am an adoptive mom to a child who was in a similar neglectful situation. You need to contact CPS (child protective services) and have them start an investigation. Good Luck!
Before your BOYFRIEND calls CPS you need to make a accurate log of everything you are talking about. You need to remember you are nothing to these kids. You do not get a say and your over-involvement can actually work against you guys. It's awesome they have you in their corner but PLEASE let your boyfriend take the lead on this when it comes to the officials and their mother. Be a supporting voice and shoulder to lean on but in the courts eyes it's none of your business.
Okay. First, you need to hire a PI (private investigator), so documentation is made of her whereabouts, her contacts, and the fact that she isn't there for the boys. Next, you need to go to court to get sole custody of the boys with this documentation. Not only will your husband not have to pay child support but he can petition for child support from HER! You may need to hire a lawyer with connections to PI's so it doesn't cost you double but I'd do it in a heartbeat! All children need stability, not moving from one home to another constantly at the whims of their parents/grandparents. With stability, the bedwetting will stop, honestly! Good luck, God bless!
Help us God if this is not enough for a judge to save those boys from their mother...poor little sweeties! I am horrified...I am sorry I can't give advice on the matter, but I wanted to tell you that I admire you for saving these children. I will pray that you find a good lawyer to give you the legal help that you need. In the meantime, I would take pictures or even videotape the boys to show to court the horrible conditions they live in. Physical and psychological neglect MUST be enough to intervene! Let us know how it goes.
Here is the best thing that you can do. Get a spiral notebook and document. Write the date of every occurance and details. That is considered more credible than "every time" or "once a month" this is more concrete and should be very helpful.
First you have to document everything, take pictures if you can too. Very Important, but absolutely you can. I would truely call Child services on her. If you don't feel comfortable doing it have someone do it. Those Boys deserve better. Good Luck
Yes, but the father must establish his legal rights and prove the neglect. See a lawyer immediately. The children are at risk. Keep them every minute you can. Take them for a developmental screening to see how the environment impacts their physical, social and emotional growth. The fact that you are not married to the father may be used against him in seeking custody.
Do this for yourself as much as for the boys, and do it as soon as you have photos and documentation. Hire a private investigator if you have to, although it sounds like you have enough evidence without one. The boys are young now and the damage done to them may still be reversible. If you stay with your boyfriend and the two of you wait until the boys are older, it will be even harder for you to integrate them into your family and harder to reverse the damage being done to them now. If their clothing and cleanliness is any indication of the treatment they receive at home, they could also become socially delayed simply from neglect. Get custody soon so that you can love them and treat them the way a family should treat precious children.
Document everything. Stay in the background as much as possible, because you aren't married to him and that can actually be used against your boyfriend. It is a sad situation. Call DFCS, you don't have to leave your name and they will start an investigation. Keep a log of when you call DFCS and who you talk to.
Like others have said, document EVERYTHING -dates, locations, times and every detail! Also, your boyfriend MUST do the legal stuff since they're his children. He needs to file for full custody after you've documented a lot!
NEVER allow the kids to hear you or your boyfriend say anything cross about their mom. Parental aleination can be very touchy depending on the court. Documant everything and definitely have your boyfriend establish some kind of joint custody. If the boys are in a preschool talk to the kids teachers about the situation. If nothing happens immediatly, this sometimes is a slow process, remember to include Teachers, counslors and the school is whatever issues you think the boys are having. Always remember to be mindful of what you say. My friend has been dealing with custody in two other states and it can be very difficult depnding on the judge. Good luck and we will all be thinking of you and your family!
Oh, AWESOME to be such an involved girlfriend! Those kids are very lucky to have you in their life.
Take Care, J.
There is definitely neglect here. Have you taken pictures? Can you email me at ____@____.com
I really don't know too much about the legal side of things, but I would be documenting/maybe take photos so they would know the dates, etc. Have you asked DFCS?
H.,
PLEASE email me off list. Document, Document, document. take pix of the kids date them. keep a journal of the condition of the kids.
Email me: ____@____.com
this is heap big serious stuff!
My advice to you is to keep a journal of EVERYTHING, how they
looked, what they said, their attitudes and reactions when you pick them up and take them back, etc... Keep receipts of everything you buy them. In addition, you should take pictures of them right before you take them home and what they look like when you pick them up again. This kind of record will lend much more credibiity in the courts to your arguement. Also, I personally think you should buy the poor kid a new pair of sneakers for his mother's house, even if it's just a $20 pair from Target. He shouldn't have to walk around in a torn up pair of sneakers, it's not his fault his mother is too selfish to get him a new pair.
From what I have learned...keep a log of everything you see, do and buy for those boys.
I would call child protective services on her and let them run an investigation. Do the boys go to daycare? I'm guessing not because they would of reported this a looong time ago. Let them know that you want to remain anomymous, but somehow get that log to them.
It's sad to see this type of thing going on. And some mom's nowadays take advantage of having kids just for that child support check. It's not the child fault, but you are in a position to help those boys. If they find evidence of neglect your boyfriend can easily take it to court and ask for full custody.
Good Luck with everything!
