Where Do We Draw the Line on Child Neglect?

Hi C.! I really do feel for you. I have a step-son that is now 6 but he's been in my life since he was only 5 months old so I think of him as my own. My husband and I have been in this same situation. I just moved here to Florida, so I really don't know much about laws down here but what I can tell you is that your husband will feel a lot better if he tried to do something than not. Is there a current custody order? In PA, if there isn't, both parents have the right to keep the child. You should definately contact a lawyer. Try legal aid. I believe if both parties would qualify, the funds go to whichever party applied first. That would really help. My husband and I spent close to $10,000 on a lawyer for a custody matter that lasted almost a year and a half. We didn't win but at least we tried. When he grows up and can understand, at least we can tell him we tried...And definately keep a record of everything. We would take date-stamped pictures and I kept tract of everthing in my planner. It really makes your case a whole lot better in court if you have documentation. Good luck with everything and God bless that little girl.

Hi C.. Without trying to get into your personal finances or business, why haven't you guys pursued legal visitation rights. If affording a lawyer is an issue, go immediately to your local Legal Aid. They provide low-cost/no-cost legal services. It seems like at this point this little girl needs alot more supervision by responsible parents and 4-8 hours a week is probably not enough based on the information you've given us. I would say have some legal representation on your side, make sure all of your ducks are in a row on your family side. That way when you have to call DCF she can't threaten you because you've already got representation and you know the ins and outs of what you are entitled to as parents. My husband's cousin pursued custody of both of his kids (difficult situations too) but it was so worth it. This little girl needs some intervention before she gets too much older. Good luck to you guys.

I am deeply saddened that you and your husband are going through this. I would say it is something you should fight for. you will need written documentation every time an incident happens and if you can get pictures or something. There is no harm in doing this and DCF saying you dont have a case. If you do nothing, and it turns you should have, that would be worse. I think you have a reason to be concerned. The barbie issue, although very wrong of the mother to do, not a reason to go to DCF, it would be just a further story of possibly the mothers sideways thinking.

I am sorry, but to be frank, your husband and you are also responsible! This is his daughter, how on earth could he have not consulted a lawyer and gone to court? Why would you guy's leave someone like that, someone who makes those obvious horrid decisions in charge of this childs life? My advice would be to start documenting everything on paper, dates, times, specific instances and take her to court. Ideally to take custody, but if that is not possible to just be able to have a say in what happens to your daughter!!

I can't speak to the neglect issue but your husband needs to consult a lawyer and get his rights instated by the court. Why did he never go to court? Is he happy with one visit a week? Why on earth has he not tried for more visits or even partial custody? I feel like there is more to this story. If you both love his daughter and truly feel that her mother is neglectful and you could provide a more stable home, then you need to sue for half custody. It won't do the kid any good to try to rip her from her mother completely, but dads have rights too and he needs to grow a pair and stand up for his.
Essentially, if you do report the mother you can assure yourselves of not seeing the daughter again; the mother has as much as said so. If you have no legal right to see her she can revoke that privilege at any time and you have no recourse. So you need to get those legal rights in place before you do anything, because the worst of all possible worlds is for that kid to end up in foster care.