"Celebrating" Daughter's First Menstrual Period?

t.

We knew when my dd first period would be starting(the signs are there)so we already had all the necessary pads,midol.But when it came we spent the entire day watching chick flicks,eating junk food and laying around in our pj's all day.we don't usually do this sort of thing so we really enjoyed it.now when the cramps are bad for her she asks if we can have a "first day".who knew?
But I should add that she was 12 1/2 and we had always had an open line of communication her whole life about sexuality.We read all the books about periods and the changes her body would go through.She also was aware of the fact that she was no longer a little girl.since we had always been open about the topic she had already asked most questions and wasn't nervous at all.

No way...I would have been sooooooo embarrassed if my mom "celebrated" my first period. I guess it's a cultural thing. My mom just handed me a biology book and told me to read, and said, "It's just part of life." You might want to ask your daughter first to see how she feels about "celebrating." She might even have cramps and not feel like going anywhere.

Hi L.,

It really depends on your daughter. My daughter is a private person. We talked about the changes that were happening and will continue to happen, and I told her to have a pad available in her school bag should it start when she was at school. She called me right after school the day she first started her period and matter-of-factly told me it started. My daughter would have "died" had I made a big deal out of it. I told her if she was having cramps to take Advil. That night we had Chinese food for dinner (her favorite) and lounged around watching a movie. I didn't tell my son or my husband -- again, she would have "died." This was almost 2 years ago.

When my niece started (she's now 40), my Mom made me call my niece to "congratulate" her on becoming a woman. Since I am only 5 years older than my niece, I just followed the guidance my Mom and sister were giving me. I felt stupid, and my niece later told me she was incredibly embarrassed -- and we were and are very close.

So you can see where my guidance would take you, but if you think your daughter would want a big deal, then go for it. I like the manicure idea, but you can also do that at home with some mother/daughter time and you don't have to mark the occasion. She will probably put it together on her own.

It can feel like a sad moment -- your "little girl" is no longer so little. But take a breath and continue to appreciate every moment you have with your kids.

I am expecting my daughters any month now. What i have been thinking about is a tea room. She can choose her favorite women to join us. (or just mom) I must admit, it is a little sad that they grow so fast.

I haven't been through this milestone with my daughter yet, like your daughter she should begin sometime in the next year. I would love to spend the day with her and have some 'girl time' since we have 4 boys as well. I've been talking to her since November about the changes she's going through and will go through. I've given her the American Girl book and answered any and all questions she's come to me with. I'm going at her pace and not forcing anything she's not ready to discuss. I'm thinking a manicure (something she's never had) lunch and maybe a movie or something. I think it's a wonderful idea to do something special to celebrate this momentous occasion. I've spent so much time dreading this very large part of my life, I'd love for her to have a very different feeling about the wonder it is to be a woman and the amazing things we are capable of.

Best wishes to you and your daughter!

I don't have any daughters, but I had a friend who did something very special for her daughter when her period arrived. I think it's wonderful that you're thinking about this now! So many of us feel so weird, awful, and alone when this happens!

This woman woke her girl up in the middle of the night (to give them complete alone time). She also included the other important women of this girl's life (the girl had two older sisters). She gave her daughter several small but special gifts to remind her of this day (I think one was a bracelet that she could wear to remember this special event). Obviously, just like you, she had planned well in advance of this event since she had these things on hand. She then talked to her daughter about how special this event was, all of the positive things that come with the crossover to womanhood, and how she needed to be proud and respectful of this gift of womanhood. I wish I could remember more details about exactly how she worded things and what all she did, but this was many years ago and sadly, I'm no longer in contact with her. I just remember how much her daughter LOVED the time her mother spent on making this event special and how she seemed so poised and proud about the beginning of her journey to becoming a woman.

I also found this discussion on the subject. Perhaps some of these comments will help you customize a celebration to fit the two of you:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=131026

We had "Woman's Day". The day Aunt Flo arrived, we went and did a bit of shopping, got a new outfit, then off to dinner and a movie. The siblings were left at home with Dad and it was just me and Mom.

We had a little celebration for my daughter - she got it late in the day, but we went to the mall and she got a "treat". She seemed to like that - they experience so many different feelings! Good Luck.

I think it's wonderful how moms and daughters use the onset of the menstrual cycle as an opportunity to celebrate. Like Tara, I was very embarrassed and uncomfortable about the whole thing when I got it, and my mom must have been uncomfortable, too. I am thankful that my daughter and I talk about it so openly.

My daughter has had her period for about 18 months now. A friend suggested buying her some "girly" things to celebrate the day, which I did...I can't recall exactly what they were, unfortunately, but I'm sure it was stuff from Icing and/or Bath & Body Works, or some jewelry. She absolutely loved it--both what I got her, and that I got her these things to celebrate the day.

After reading other responses, I wish I had done a mom-and-daughter outing or movie, like others! My daughter is so busy, between school and activities, that I rarely get that kind of time these days...and we love it when we do.

(As for the slapping, by the way, my understanding is that that is an old peasant thing, not practiced by all even back then, and I do not know of even one person who is a mom these days who had that done to her...nor do I know of people in this day and age who did that to their own daughters. It is an archaic practice.)

It is wonderful that you are giving it such thought in advance. Enjoy!

When my now 17 (in a few weeks) had her first period, she was at school - 4th grade - walked up to the nurses office and said " Ms Dolly, I started my period, call my mom, I want to go home" She was 9 years old. When Ms dolly called me she said she never have anyone so non-chalant about it! I pray she always has it this easy. (I have endometrious.) I don't remember "celebrating" - just fixed her some of her favorite comfort foods. I didn't work outside the home at the time, so we watched movies that night.
She will be 17 soon, and I still don't miss the chance to remind her she can get pregnate at any time, even though she has taken her vow of purity. (She asked us to take her to this event and support her on this.) She's a good kid and is a senior this year - so far so good!

I'll be interested to see what types of responses you get. I honestly have never talked to anyone who has done something special to celebrate this milestone, although I never really asked the question either. When I reached that milestone, I remember being excited that I was like my friends who had already started, but I also remember wanting to keep the news to myself. I wasn't ashamed, but just felt it was a personal issue. My mother and I talked about it to the extent that she taught me how to take care of myself. That was it.

As someone else said, it depends on the child. I have had two girls reach this milestone. We didn't do anything to celebrate it. It never occurred to me. I'm not sure they would have wanted to do anything to call attention to the fact to their dad or younger sisters. They are very private and don't like to discuss such thing with other family members present.

However, when each girl turned 13, I took them on a special trip with just mom. We stayed at a hotel with swimming pool and hot tub and then went shopping, out to eat and then to a movie. It was their celebration of becoming young women.