Child Care Issue

I enjoyed your post and can relate to making decisions. I do think, though, that "playing all day" is the most important thing you can do for your kids, in any environment. At age 3, sure, some simple number and letter stuff is fine.

I honestly would not, as one person, be able to provide the structured and enriching environment we all want for our kids ALL day. So god bless in home care providers who can, but I could not. I have 5 myself and I sent them to lots of preschool hours starting at age 2. It's fun for them and makes it so maybe there is JUST baby and toddler running around at home. :)

If you like the other school and it's even the same price or so, then I'd send both kids there. Easy, same place.

What she said was inappropriate. She is an employee and has NO right to opine about your parenting decisions. You did what was best for your children, and she's being rude and selfish. This is NOT the economy to be raising rates $25 per week!

I would give her a written notice that, due to her rate increase, you will not be signing another contract and she will be no longer be in your employ in 2 weeks. Go about finding a new provider.

I would find a day care center that will take both of them. it would be easier to drop both off at the same place. once they are 2ish they do benefit form the learning and structure of a day care. as infants one on one care is best.

She sounds unprofessional. Look at your contract, does it have an expiration date? If not then it doesn't expire.
However she can still decide to hike your rate - it appears though that she is miffed about you moving DD to a preschool and that's just unprofessional.

For me personally this would probably affect the trust I put into this person and if your son is 3 already I would look at moving him to a center as well. At this age they do start really benefiting from a more structured classroom environment and playing with other kids.
Good luck!

In the end, whether it was appropriate or not isn't really the issue. The issue I see here, is that you no longer see eye to eye. You are no longer on the same page about your child's care and so on. That's simply a sign it's probably time to move on. Is there a reason why he can't attend the same school as your other child? That seems like a natural solution.

My DD left the daycare before she got to that age, but the prices went down a little as the kids got older, since they needed less supervision and the center could have more per class. Also, if they were potty trained, that was less work for the staff. It sounds like you got hit with the one-two punch of an annual increase + the sibling discount loss and that's just poor timing. At the end of the day, she can raise her rates and you can stay or go.

If you found somewhere else for him to be, you simply give her notice and move him to the new place. She shouldn't have made a snide remark about you putting your DD in preschool. That was unprofessional, IMO. If you can't afford it and you can't resolve the differences with the provider, then I'd move on, either to preschool or another daycare provider. A center may offer you a better rate for a child his age.

FWIW, look at what your child needs. My DD is in a play based preschool and I guarantee you she's learning. She comes home full of information that they learned through play. It's not a free for all, but it is playful vs book work and memorization. Don't overlook the merits of what might otherwise look like playtime in a preschool (vs a daycare where I would expect some crafts but not the same sort of planned program).

I don't think she should have made that comment. Would you tell your boss how he/she should be spending their money? I don't think so. I would check the contract and see what it states regarding increases and how much notice you should have and also, the rate for one as opposed to two children. If I understand correctly, you have been informed in a relatively short amount of time that your rate will go up $40 a week/$120 a month, right? Wow. That's quite a shocker to the checkbook, in my opinion. If you are wanting a more structured learning experience for your son, I recommend pre-school. I think that by the increases and her comment, there will be growing resentment and that's not a good atmosphere for anyone involved. I was doing daycare and the girl's mom said she wanted a more structured/learning experience for her daughter. I respected that and was sad to see her leave but totally understood her position.

Best of luck!

it is not out of line for a provider to increase her rates. It is also very common for a provider to give a cut rate for the second child. It sounds like she has had your children for a long time. Has she increased your fee before now? if not your lucky. It is also very common to have a new yearly signed contract. If you have your kids in two separate care facilities you will be paying top price for both kids. So if your unhappy then yes be done with her and look for something more. It sounds more to me like your just ready to move him also and looking for a way to make it ok.

Cut your ties with her and find someone else. It sounds like she is really bitter about you placing your other child in another school. She has no right to comment. Move on~

When my kids when to daycare the price when down when they were potty trained and then when they stated school. Sometimes at the beginning of the school year their prices would increase. But to me her being a private sitter she's probably upset that she's not bringing in as much money watching your daughter but no she had no right to say anything about you sending your daughter somewhere else.

$25 per week is an additional $1300 per year increase. How much are you paying per month? Just asking because that sounds like an increase of more than 10%. It's one thing to need an increase periodically, but that's about 3-4x the current inflation rate...when was the last time you got a 10% raise for doing the exact same work? It's an amount that is out of line. Also, being more expensive than the private daycare is out of line, too, as they are paying teachers, social security taxes on their teachers, properly withholding all taxes (is your inhome provider reporting all of hers?), worker's comp coverage, have a facitlity/overhead that must be covered on its own, administrative costs, etc. Yes, it's standard that daycare costs decrease as children become more independent. Sounds like your inhome daycare provider no longer values your business, and you should take you son to the same school with your daughter and get the sibling discount.

Huh... did she raise her rates for everyone? Meaning did she rewrite her contract or is she just charging you more on top of the single child rate? Did you give her any notice that you were moving your daughter?

Playing all day is appropriate for a 3 year old, unless you feel like she isn't teaching them anything as they play.

As a home care provider, I can understand both sides, although I wouldn't NEVER make a comment like that to one of my parents. Maybe she's feeling unappreciated and slighted that you switched her with no notice and no explanation (if that's true), and maybe she's struggling and has decided to raise her rates for everyone because she's never given herself a pay increase before.

There are too many questions for me to give much advice, just a few things to think about... I will say that she sounds bitter and bold to make a comment like that. Parents have to do what they think is best for their kids and your provider should be more professional than she was.

You are paying more than what you would pay a pre-school because your child gets one on one care. Even private preschools pay their teachers as little as possible and the teacher's time is split among a classroom of children. Hardly the same as having one on one attention all day. Also, three year olds SHOULD be playing all day. That's what they do, and that's how they learn.

I guess whether or not her rate hike is reasonable depends on how many hours she works and how much you pay her. If you have her for 40 hours a week, an additional 62 cents an hour does not seem unreasonable to me.

She should not have made the comment that she did and doing so was unprofessional and awkward but I can see how moving your daughter made her feel slighted. I guess you have to decide whether or not your son would be better off in a pre-school setting and then figure out of the tuition is worth it to you. But no, in home care should NOT cost less than pre-school, and while rates in child care centers decrease as children get older, that's because the teacher/child ratio changes so that you can have more students with fewer teachers, thereby reducing payroll costs per group. With 1:1 care, the price would not change accordingly and a modest cost of living increase is expected each year.

As a mother of 3 and having a wonderful in home care provider. I understand both sides. We have had yearly contracts for the past 6 years and is just like any other business; our rates have been raised yearly. You can't expect for somebody to watch your children and not once increase their rates. This is clearly written in our contract, I am sure it is in yours as well. This is exactly, like receiving your yearly raise at work. Having said that, she was in the wrong with her comment; how you spend your money is on you, is not for her to comment on. For that reason alone, I would leave her and go elsewhere; but if you plan on leaving her because of the increase, then it is not a reason to do so. She is within her right to do that as per the VA business guide lines. Read your contract and do things right, if you decide to pull your child out.

She is running a business. It sounds like she has a yearly contract in place, which is typical. It sounds like she gives a sibling discount, which is typical. You lost the sibling discount when you removed your older child from her care, which is typical. She raised her rates with the new contract, typical.

Yes, she does sound a little hurt/upset that you decided to take your older child out. Although she should not have made her comment, it is understandable. You always, however, have the right AND responsibility to make the best choices for your child at any given point...including changing providers for your younger child.

Basically, she has every right to run her business as she sees fit...and you have every right to attend or not. No biggie. No tension necessary. If you need to make other arrangements - for ANY reason - tell her that and do it. No biggie.

The daycare center we use has newborn rates, toddler rates and "school age rates." The lowest rate is the school age, which starts at 3 years (but I think it's only $10/week cheaper - can't remember). So, after that last decrease, you're done. They did raise the rates this summer. I think they do it every summer, now that I think of it. For us, it only went up $5/week.

I do think her comment was inappropriate, and $25/week seems a bit much. But I don't think unusual for your rate to increase.

We chose our daycare center for so many reasons, but one reason was the structured environment and they age-based classes. I have seen so much growth in my now 3 1/2 year old. He began there about a year and a half ago, and he loves it and is doing so well. He thrives in a structure environment, and his with other kids his own ages with teachers that have great, age appropriate activities.

Sounds like your little guy is at the perfect age for a change like this.

Hi, Fun:

What did your provider mean by saying: "Maybe if we wouldn't have put our DD in the higher priced pre-school."

Why were you hurt by her remark?

You still love your provider. She held up a mirror for you to see yourself.

Tell her how you felt and work through the conflict for your child's sake.

Good luck.
D.

She comes into your home, correct? So that limits her ability to earn beyond your kids. So I assume what you paid her was cut in half when your daughter left? That means she just got a 50% pay cut with no way to make it up other than charging your more.

In your daughter's preschool they have one teacher to several students and yet it is still five dollars more than you were paying an in home nanny.

I am actually surprised she didn't give notice when you pulled your daughter.

I don't understand why you are mad at your provider, she has bills to pay as well. I mean how would you feel if your employer cut your responsibility in half, your wage in half but expected you to keep working the same hours?

I can only say what is normal for Oklahoma. An infant is higher because they can only have 4 baby's per staff, 6 for toddlers, 8 for 2 year olds, then 12 for 3 year olds, and 15 for the 4 year old class and up to 20 per staff for school age kids.

So yes, it is normal in facility child care for the price to go down quite a bit as the child gets older. My computer crashed and I don't have the web site on this laptop. Almost all of my other child care questions about rates have the link in them. Maybe you can use the search option on top to find other questions on this topic.

For instance, a newborn in a 3 STAR facility, which is the highest rating a facility can achieve in Oklahoma, might get paid for a state paid child $30 per day, that is normally a 10-11 hour day too.

Then a school aged child in the same facility would only pay $15 per day. That would be year round too. In school all day and out for summer. That way the provider gets a full amount even on a part time day after school.

I think that if you call around you will find out if her prices are comparable or not. She was hurt you felt her care wasn't good enough for your older child. She took it personally. If she is advertising that she is offering those advantages you were looking for but they weren't good enough for you then she probably felt she wasn't as good as she thought she was or something along those lines.

I would move both kids to full time child care in a full facility. They often have more resources and if staff is sick or needs time off they have other staff in the facility, such as an assistant director, who the kids know and love to fill in.

As an in-home child care provider, I have not encountered this much but it has happened. Personally, I do not think that your weekly tuition should go down at age 3. When my children reach 19 months, and they are no longer considered an infant, I lower their rates by $15. That is the only decrease they will have for the remainder of time in my childcare.

The thing about in-home providers, we can charge what we want, be open the hours we want to be open, have whatever policies/rules in place that we choose. The trick is to find parents and providers who are on the same page and can both be happy with the arrangement. When I interview with a potential family, I remind myself that this is the program I offer, the hours, the tuition, the policies. If they can agree to it, we can have a working relationship. Otherwise, they need to look elsewhere to find what makes them happy. Of course, after 23 years, I do know what people are looking for and I also know what I am willing to do.

It sounds like it is time for you to move on, no hard feelings. I will tell you that we do get so very attached to the children in our care and sometimes, whether it is right or wrong, our feelings do get hurt when someone pulls their child for a reason WE don't deem necessary. Of course, WE are not the parents, but our hearts tell us differently. Be gentle and kind with her...I am sure her heart is a little broken. I joke with my parents when they are leaving that for as long as I have had their child in my care, I should get some sort of visitation! (it's a joke with just a hint of truth!!) Good luck in your future endeavors finding care for your sweet one!