I have tried the super nanny routine and nothing seems to work. She screams and cries and will not even stay in her bed for a minute. This is not juset one night. I am going on 10 nights now. We have been putting her back in her bed and this goes on from 8 to 3 a.m.. Any other suggestions? I have tried the taking something away from her - giving her somethign if she says in the bed. NOTHING WORKS. I will not lock her in her room and the reasoning and yelling isn't helping either! HELP
She is 2 1/2 and she has been going to bed since she was 18 months in her own big girl bed. Nothing has changed. Same bedtime routine. She said she isn't scared or anything and that she just wants to sleep with us. We did the super nanny routine where we tell her she has to go to her own bed and then we just kept putting her back in her bed without speaking to her for HOURS!!! literally from 8-3 a.m. She will not even stay in her bed. She jumps right out. We put a baby gate up and she climbed over that. When asked if she was scared she said no so we put her back. Then she started saying she was scared and then that she had to go potty and anything else she could to get out of bed. Me and my husband were very sympathetic to her and then got firmer and firmer but nothing seemed to work. She is still on my floor 10 days later. I just gave up because we both work and she needs her rest. We put her in her bed last night after she feel asleep in our room adn she still got up and cried. My husband then slept on her floor to see how she was throughout the night and she was fine as long as he was in the room. I don't know what it is. She says she is not afraid of anything so we have no clue.
After letting her sleep in our room for over a month. I finally read Solving your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber and its has worked. She has now been in her bed for two weeks and sleeps all night. She occassionally gets up here and there we go up and reassure her everything is ok and she goes back to sleep. She wakes up a couple times a night but each week has gotten shorter and shorter with the wakings. The book showed me that she was generally scared of someting and we did each piece of the routines mentioned in the book and it worked for us. Thank yuou for all your suggestions.
What is going on, is she just fighting her room?
Did she ever go to be with out fighting?
Is she afraid of something all of a sudden (monsters, Ghosts Etc)
Which Suppernanny method have you used?
How old?
Any changes in the house? (divorse, Move, Fights, new baby Etc)
I am sorry my dear but we need some more info to help.
Wow, you have to get control of this situation. I really feel for you as I had the same problems with one of my sons. He even threw up over the gate when we tried that! Ugh. I am a big believer in the Ferber techniques. The one for getting a child to stay in his room is brilliant. You make sure it is dark in her room but leave the door open. You can explain that if she wants her door open, she has to stay in bed. If she gets up, the door gets closed. You only close the door for 20 seconds or so (there is a schedule in the book, and the times get longer if it goes on) and she will scream. Then you open the door and let the light in. Ask her if she wants the door open. Yes? Then get in bed. Minimal verbalizations. I only had to do this three times with my son (who was a nightmare!!!!!!) and he got it. The Ferber Sleep Solutions book is amazing. It has ideas for every sleep problem. You must be firm about this. If she knows maybe eventually you will give in, then you are going to lose the battle, every time.
Good luck to you. I know how draining this is! Hang in there.
I had this happen with my son. He was 3 1/2 and out of nowhere refused to sleep in his room. We were exhausted and finally gave into letting him sleep on our floor... that was better then getting nightly visits in our bed. He didn't like being in his room alone.. I even got him a cool light that looked like an aquarium with fish swimming around... the dark wasn't the issue. He slept on my floor a good 6 months until I decided to put his sister in his room with him (I was waiting for school to get out to do this, he has bunk beds in his room) Thankfully that persuaded him to sleep in his room again. I let her stay in his room all summer, and moved her back in her room at the start of school again and he's been fine. I feel for you... hang in there, Im sure its just a phase.
K.,
I cannot over-emphasize the importance of realizing that your toddler has now become more aware of her surroundings and feels insecure. At three years of age, they can have nightmares. She may be starting early and not being able to remember.
I know we let our first born sleep with us until she was six. We would carry her in her room after she fell asleep. One of the things that you might try is have reading time before bed. After dinner, I would be doing the dishes and my husband would take her upstairs and they would have reading time together and then say it is time to go to sleep. I was a stay-at-home mom;othrwise, I guess you could take turns doing the dishes. Evidentally, bedtime causes her to be anxious....nobody gets a good sleep that way. I made it a special time....warm glass of milk, playing word games in a picture dictionary, if she is not reading....but always lying down next to one or both of you so that she can feel secure. Tenderness and sensitivity is always what the little girls want. Enjoy her, trust her feelings....give her the time, you will never regret it....I never did.
Not sure how old your child is. make sure you are not talking to her AT ALL when you're returning her to her room.
Do you have a good bedtime routine? Bath, snack, book, prayers, etc. The routine is a cue that sleeptime is coming.
Have you tried playing a CD (on repeat) of soothing music in her room?
Have you tried acting like it's not that big of a deal to you? Some kids feed off of the drama....
I would say let her sleep on the floor. May be she is going through a phase. She could be having growing pains,molars coming in possibly. Try a warm bath before bed if you do not do so already. Give her some childrens motrin and some hylands teething tablets if you think she may be getting some teeth. Hopefully,you can work your way in to getting her back in her bed.
Sleep is so difficult--you have my sympathy! This is a classic age for trouble b/c kids this age are just figuring out that the world doesn't stop when they go to bed-parents are still up doing things without them. Also, the imagination develops enough to think of scary things at night. When my daughter was a little younger than this we went through a big process to get her to sleep by herself (she'd had health problems and had slept with us for a long time while she was sick). We worked with Dr. Ferber himself, who was wonderful. He had me sleep on the floor of her room (I brought in a futon) for a while, going to bed when she did, until she was okay not being in the same bed with me-just being in the room (sounds like you're really there already). Then I would take longer and longer to come to bed. I'd get her tucked in, then say, "Oops, I forgot my book" or "I need to use the bathroom". I'd always come back, but the time before I did got longer and longer. He told me, "When she falls asleep with you out of the room, you're home free" and he was right! Soon after that, I moved the futon back out (explaining that we needed it for guests) and slept in my own bed and it's been fine.
An alternative is what we did with my younger daughter-I would just sit outside her door sometimes as she fell asleep when she was having trouble at this age. I would talk to her and let her hear my voice for a bit then say, "OK, I"m going to be quiet now b/c you need to sleep but I won't be far away". She would go to sleep, and I could (over nights) spend more and more time away from the door and go downstairs, etc (I never slept at her door). She just needed to know that I was still nearby and I would come if she needed me.
Good luck!
When our son was that age, he always wanted us to stay with him until he fell asleep. He had night terrors sometimes and I think going to sleep scared him, but he was too young to know what the real problem was. At that point, he didn't like his toddler bed and slept on the floor on a sleeping bag. There were many nights I woke up - on the floor having fallen asleep before he did. She probably just needs the security of you being there. We used to lie on the floor together, listen to music etc. Eventually, he grew out of it. The main thing is to keep him in his room. Good luck.
K.,
I am going through a similar situation right now. My daughter is 2.5 (will be three in January), and last Thursday, out of nowhere, she started waking at night, screaming out for me. She has been sleeping through the night since she was 9-months-old--no problems--she didn't even have a problem when we switched her room due to a new sibling arriving and putting her into a twin bed. I am beside myself these last few nights, not to mention tired because I also have my 12-week-old who is waking to eat in the early AM.
I have a feeling she is scared about something, but she has a speech delay and is unable to communicate to me if she is scared/what she is scared about. Luckily, she does not get out of her bed without me coming into her room. I don't know why, but I'm not going to try to change that. Still, she just wakes up and screams for me until I come. I started getting mad about it, but that only made it worse. I don't want to leave her if she's truly scared, but I can't get up 2-3 times a night and sit in her room with her.
I saw some things online about role playing during the day so that you can get a better idea of why she is doing it. Use a doll and set up a night-time situation where she can pretend with the doll. Maybe if you do that she will kind of let you in on if she's scared (but not admitting it), or if she thinks it's funny or a joke.
For us, we are still trying to get to the root of the problem...I hope something works soon!
Good Luck to you!
Hi, K.:
I would suggest that you put her in bed for the night.
Sit on her bed and talk to her about the way she is feeling
as she is lying there. Keep sharing with her by asking her
questions about her experiences lying there.
If you can't find out anything. I would suggest that
you find a Narrative therapist in your local area and talk with him/her.
Good luck. D.
