I'm concerned because my (just turned) seven year old, in the first grade, came home the other day and said "Bad men wear shirts only and take their pants off." I asked him why he said that and he just repeated it without any explanation. Sometimes he comes out with weird statements, so I didn't make much of it and I let it go. Then, tonight, we were at the dinner table doing his homework. He's generally a pretty good student and serious about his work, but he stood there laughing. I asked him why he was laughing and he looked at me with a silly grin. Then, I looked down and he was standing there with his pants pulled down, so he was naked from the waist down. I told him that was inappropriate and he laughed. I later asked him why he would do such a thing and he said "just because". I asked him if he saw anyone else act that way and replied "no". Am I making too much of this in my mind or should I be concerned and look into this further? Seven year old boys do act up sometimes, but this behavior is really out of character!
Tell the Teacher, the school officials etc.
There is a process of things. Per school protocols.
Tell, the Teacher.
And SINCE this happened, after he came home from school, "the other day."
DOCUMENT it, too.
Document it all. The day that it started - his "bad men" comment and document his odd behavior - then go to the school and find out WHO started working with your son that day, WHO was on school grounds that day...and work from there.
This is NOT normal. YES!! you should be concerned. Talk to the school counselor and tell them on what date he said what and his behavior now...then make an appointment with the pediatrician. He/she may want to talk to your son alone - unfortunately - you'll have to allow it if it means getting the truth out of him.
Good luck!!
Report it. To the school and to your pediatrician.
I am so sorry, but I agree with your gut.
1. Get an appointment with a child psychologist who specializes in dealing with kids who have been molested. He may not be verbalizing what happened (or what he saw, or what someone tried) because he isn't sure if he was somehow to blame. Until he feels safe to talk, and has the words to describe what happened (to him or someone he witnessed), he is going to continue to try to make sense of it (and continue to act out of character or inappropriately).
2. Please, please look into this further. Maybe I wrong. I hope I am wrong. But what if I am not, and whomever it is continues this behavior? Trusted babysitter, relative, teacher, coach, church leader...you owe it to your child to take this very seriously.
3. This is not a seven year old boy acting up. He is trying to tell you something he doesn't have the words for...which is exactly how a child psychologist is trained to help.
I agree with Wild Woman's (and just about everyone else's advice. Document everything, pay attention to dates, and bring this up to the school psychologist and his doctor. For me, this would raise red flags of molestation or at the very least some exposure to very, very inappropriate behavior. I sincerely hope that there is an innocent explanation for this...this would tear me up inside so I really feel for you!
It is the statement that he made that concerns me: Bad men wear shirts only and take their pants off." Very troubling. The dropping of pants, well, boys can do some weird things, but that statement bothers me. I would talk to school psychologist and also talk to your son when you are together just hanging out.
If this were my grandson, I would be concerned. The sudden change in attitude and behavior is disturbing. Please talk this over with a professional, perhaps your pediatrician. He/she should have good recommendations for you.
I know that pretty much everyone else suggested possible molestatation. I'm going to go a different way. He's laughing about it. He thinks it's funny. It sounds like someone else (like another kid) told him this, someone who heard something about molestation, stranger danger, people who expose themselves. Your son, being an innocent 7 year old, can't comprehend this if he's never experienced this. 7 year old boys would find this humorous. This might be how he'd interpret such a comment from another kid. At least, I hope that's why he's making these comments.
I'm with Wild Woman. You are right to be suspicious.
That behavior really is strange and I would definitely look into it further. The fact that he characterizes men who do that as "bad" makes me think this is something that needs to be addressed ASAP.
I would talk to him separately from the time he does it, and try to understand what and why he does certain things. A lot of things we dont know kids are exposed to these days in schools. I know kids have lots of attitude changes, I have now 2 kids in school and they're attitudes are ever changing... I always remind them how they should talk-respectfully, manners, words,etc. I dont know what your belief is, but I always pray for my kids and with them each morning. Over time its definately helped, also talking to them and trying to understand them.
He might have had another kid he likes at school or a friend show him that or tell him... so he might think its just a cool thing, kids all grow up in different family structure and we need to take that into consideration.
hope that helps. good luck.
I would check with the school...sometimes they have seminars or assemblies which teach kids not to talk with strangers...not to let anyone touch them...etc.
Is it possible they had one of those training sessions at school?
Otherwise, it is a bit strange...one of the other kids could have said something too...in any event, talking with the school seems like the first step.
I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, but I certainly wouldn't write it off. Try to find out if any different men have been in his life recently - a substitute teacher, an aide at school, a friend's father or visiting relative, etc. Try to think if he's been unsupervised anywhere, where maybe a stranger, or a friend's older brother could have done or said something.
I also have a first grade son and I definitely would not ignore it if that happened, especially two incidents within a few days of each other.
Little kids find the strangest things to be funny. Maybe a friend at school did that in the boys room and all the boys are just hysterical about it. If he was upset, or crying, or acting out in an angry way it would concern me. But I'm thinking this is goofy boys being goofy. My son would have been the boy who pulled his pants down around his ankles and made the other boys laugh. He's in high school now, 6'4" and still being a goofball. I'd note it, the days he said stuff liek that and keep an eye of him. But after driving my son and the neighborhood boys around town for hte last 10 years I can tell you that boy humor is just strange. and different. and fun.
Just listen to your heart. I have never once regretted acting on my gut instinct as a Mom but I've definitely regretted NOT listening to that little voice.
Write down what's happened so far and keep digging. If you feel it was important enough to post here there might be a reason to be concerned. Just remember that this type of behavior could be from something as simple as a movie, something a kid said at school or a little boy becoming aware of "stuff". Don't let your imagination go crazy!
