Child Support Problems

Seems simple, you have the house and kid already why don't you just get married? You don't need a lawyer, the State is not going to change their policy.

You should get a lawyer. What they are trying to do is bullspit! It's horrible that we live in a world that they even try to do that when you are with the father. Women actually get more help if they do not have man in their life... It's wrong and I think that they should get their butts handed to them! I hope that everything works out for you.

They did the same thing to me with my oldest daughter which is now five years old. I never responded when they told me I had to open a case against him. I dropped it like it never came up and they didnt do anything about it.
I completely understand how that would label him and thats not right. They need to look at the circumstances of the situation before deciding what to do.
Good luck!

The same thing happened to me..mind u this was 12 years ago...i told them me and my soon to be husband were living together and that was the end of it, they dropped it. My best advice....get married now!

Hey J., I am not sure of the child support issue. But I noticed you have a degree in a field that my job (Quicken Loans) is hiring in. Just wanted to see if you'd be interested? Let me know and good luck with your child support problem.

I am unsure but I believe if you received any type of aid your spouse will have to repay whatever the state gave to you. Also it would be best to call a FOC child support officer directly or a family lawyer. The more time you wait the more time that passes. Once the order is finally made he will have to back pay from the childs birth. This can be a really big hassle because they do put it on your credit if its delinquent....I hope this helps.

Before my fiance got custody of his at the time 2yr old son he had to pay support because the mother was on cash assistance. After he got custody we received a letter saying he was so much behind in support, we called about it and they charge $7.00 per day that we are late making a payment we tried to fight it but they said because his mother was on cash assistance when he was born the father has to take responsibility and pay for the birth, they even tried to make him pay for her daughter that wasn't his. He had to fight that one and prove the little girl wasn't his, he tried to fight payng the full birth saying that she should pay half because he used to pay for all of the supplies and her home when she was pregnant and after his son was born. My advice is go to the friend of the court find out how much medicaid had to pay for the birth and pay it off ASAP because of the daily fee they charge for each day you don't pay plus court costs and other fees they like to tack on. Also keep in mind that you won't only be paying for the baby but for any extra time you were in the hospital so he will end up paying for your stay as well. We are still paying for his sons birth and he is now almost 10 and we have had custody for 8 years.

Hi J. - I so know what your going through here. I had medicade because I found out I was pregnant weeks before my new ins. kicked in and since it was pre-existing condition it would not cover the pregnancy. Luckily when I started the case for Medicaid my case worker gave me a heads up on what would happen as far as the child support goes. We looked into everything and asked FOC people what to do and they told to get married. We were going to get married anyway so we had a small (2 witnesses) civil ceremony. Trust me you DO NOT want to have to deal with FOC (friend of the court). Once you are in you will have problem after problem (my husband pays child support to his ex so we have to deal with them). I don't know if getting married is your only solution but it's cheeper than getting a lawyer. You could always do the small civil thing to avoid the problems then have the "real" wedding when planned. Thats what we did. Hope that helps.

Hi J.,

I'm not sure if it is the same in every Court, however I went through something similar and what they allowed me to do was write a signed letter to the FOC stating that I wanted to "opt-out" for him paying child support. They made it very clear to me that if he stopped paying support during this time they could not go after him during the time I had been opted out if I had ever decided to "opt back" in. They did however require him to still pay $30 something a month to cover monthly medicaid. During this time I was living in a small town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan so I'm not sure if is different in larger cities. Hope this helped a lttle. ~A.

In my opinion they can not force your boyfriend to pay child support. I had a child that I also used medicaid as a secondary insurance for my delivery. I went through the same thing. They called and sent letters claiming I had tho force the issue of child support on my sons father. We too were living together and planning on getting married. I never got a lawyer and eventually the issue went away. It sounds like these days are alittle more stricted than even 4years ago. I would contact a lawyer and ask them for some advice to see if it is legal for then to force child support. Good Luck

Hi J......well getting a lawyer won't help. The state does what it wants too and we that have been on or are still on state aid pay the price for it. What you have written is sad to say, the way it will work. They won't let you pay it back and they will cut off your daughter. It's their way or no way. It's not right, but that's how they do it. I had custody of my 16 yr old daughter and while recovering from major surgery, I was on state aid including cash and food stamps. I finally found a job but remained on state aid. I received a letter from the state in Nov. 2005 demanding information on my daughters father so they could make him pay child support to offset me getting state aid. I called them and told them nothing. They dropped it for a year. In October 2006 I got another letter with the same request in order to make him pay or I would lose all my state aid. I was not on state aid this time and called my past case worker and explained to her that he does not need to pay anything because I'm not on state aid and she went back to live with her dad. The state apparently has their set requirements and if we do not meet them then we lose out. I was only on state aid for a year and it was greatly appreciated but to be threatened to lose it if I don't fess up information was not fair. I currently work 30 hours a week, have no health insurance, am a cancer surivivor, paid off my car, have wonderful kids and an awesome fiancee. I pray every day for good health and more hours at work :):)

This also happened with myself and family! You just have to go and make an appointment with a caseworker at the FIA building and sign alot of forms stating that the father is in the house and taking repsonsiblity for the child. That is what we had to do. GOOD LUCK!

I had a similar problem like yours and I had no choice but to name his as the father and make him pay child support. When I got my checks I just handed them back over to him.

I was concerned about the same thing when I was pregnant with my second son b/c his father was putting me thru a lot by telling me he wasnt the father and so on, so I called my case worker to find out what would happen if I didnt go after child support b/c he was being a jerk about it and she told me that I would lose my medicaid but the baby would still have it. And I also know of people that have just wrote a letter to the friend of the court telling them that the father is supporting the baby financially and they left it at that. Not sure that that is helpful at all.

I had that same thing sent to me, My fiance was injured at work, so we weren't sure if he could return to work. I added mychild to be safe. They sent those threatening letter to me right before we got married. I just ignored them.

It sounds weird that the state would do something like that. When my son was born 6 years ago, I was on Medicaid also. My husband and I weren't married at the time. The only thing that they wanted, was that he get our son on his insurance too. This way he is covered by Medicaid as a secondary insurance. The only difference is that I didn't work at the time. I don't know id that has anything to do it. I hope that things get better for you. I can't see your husband paying for his own child that he is living with.

Best of luck!!

J., make an appointment for both of you to go see the prosecutor. They have to have a set amount that he owes, and maybe they will give it to you at the appointment. When you filed for Medicaid for your daughter, where you living together at the time and did you include his income in the paperwork? If so, they shouldn't be going after him now. If not, that's why they are going after him. They shouldn't refuse a lump-sum payment since that is what they want in the end, the full amount paid back. Don't burn your bridges by not cooperating as you never know what may happen in the future. I work in the legal field (but not in domestic anymore), and have never heard of the State cancelling confinement expenses due to a marriage - the State wants their money and will get it.

I have gone through something very simular with the father of my 12 year old. We, however, are not together. My ex had put our son on medicaid for about a year. My son lives with me most of the time (every other weekend at dads). I got papers in the mail a few weeks ago that said I had to pay support to his father. After may tears and phone calls I found out from the Friend of the Court that we could sign a Stipulation and Order of Non-Enforcement at the friend of the court office. My son, unlike your daughter, was no longer on Medicaid. A portion of the "child support" was going to go to the state to help pay for his medical coverage. So we have to pay about $60 and the bill is cleared(the total they said I owed was about $400). Being that you're keeping her on the medical coverage until May you may not be able to do that now. I also learned during my ordeal with the "system" that if the father is in the home, which yours is, this support order is different. Have you told them that you live together? And that he supports her? You should find out who the case worker at Friend of the court is and make an appointment to see them in person. Make sure your addresses on your I.D.'s match if one of you haven't changed that yet. Make sure you both go to the appointment. I was pretty suprised at how easy it was once I get in front of a person, rather then on the phone. Make sure you tell them you want a "Stipulation and Order of Non-Enforcement". That is what my ex and I signed.
Back to you guys living together, I have 3 other children and I currently live with thier father. We have had our kids on Medicaid a few times, as recently as a month ago, and have never had this happen. I would definately make sure they know, in person, that the father is in the home. Sorry to ramble....feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions! Rachelle

I think whoever u r talking to does not know her job! I had all of my children(5) on medicaid, my x husband and i were not married at the time ant of our 4 were born and he was never made to pay any of the medicaid charges, because we lived together and his income was supporting us and used to make us eligible for medicaid! My girls are now 14,14,12 and 9, but My 2 yr old was also born on medicaid and her dad lives with us and his income was used to determine eligibility also and he is not getting billed for anything,We do not use medicaid any longer, but when we did i never was told they would have to pay anything back.Unless u do not live together they should not make u pay a bill or child support. unless they told u that u had a medicaid spend down amount? not really familiar with that one, but it is something like u pay so much before they will pay anything. i would definetely go dowm to FIA and have a meeting with someone. Good Luck

I have 5 children from 4 guys..the first guy I married when our son was a month old so medicaid paid for that, That was 21 yrs ago and he still hasn't paid it back to medicaid. The next 2 kids I didn't marry him until I had been with him 9 yrs. Medicaid also paid for them to be born. The next one gets ssi child support but his dad still hasn't paid back the medicaid for that one and my last one after 6 yrs they are finally getting him to pay but they didn't go all the way back from when she was born. I have gone to the friend of the court and signed a waiver for any back support due to me to be dropped, they dropped it. What I am getting to is try to get a lawyer that will not charge you very much because they shouldn't be telling you that you need to go after him for support because you are NOT recieving anything from the state except the insurance. My last daughter's dad has never met her and she is 6. I had the option to have him sign off on her or take the support, I chose for him to sign off but he never showed up for court. 1 1/2 yrs ago he sent me $800.00 and a few weeks ago he sent me $71.00. If all your getting is medicaid, try sending in a payment and see if they take it. Another thing...I have papers to prove that each of my cases, the men were to pay a thousand dallors back, that is it. e-mail me if you would like for me to show you those papers.

Glad to hear it all worked out!!!

they have a thing called my child you can get 4 her they cant make u have him pay support an they dont ask alot for payments on back child support for insurance for my child insurance call this number they will help u the number is 1 888 988 6300

WOW...they are really giving you a hard time. My 'hubby' and I are not legally married but we live together and when our son was born, we had no insurance either because I was still in school and he was working part time at the time. Child Support did sent me some papers for a support order but I called them and told them that we are living together thus he is supporting our son nonetheless.

And that was IT!!! Our son is almost 1yr old now and I haven't got anything about having my 'hubby' pay for part of the delivery cost nor have I gotten any more letters for child support order.

I really don't know why they are giving you such a hard time!! Since you plan on getting marry soon, I strongly suggest that instead of getting a lawyer, which can be very expensive, just get your marriage license.

Hope I was of some help.

As far as I know it is just something that the system does no matter what. They are not concerned with what you want. They truely are looking out for the best interest of the child(they think). And in some case it is truly needed. It would be easier on everyone if you just went with it. In the end, when you get married, it can then be canceled. But the state will still make sure that they get there money first. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I went through a very similar thing when I had my son. I never found no way around it. Good luck

Replied then saw that everything was fine.I am so glad to see that!