Child Won't Eat

Hi K.,

I am a Behavior Analyst and I work in ABA with Autistic adults/children. I say all of that to say, an autistic child has sensory deprivation and aversions to some touch taste smell. Autism affects all of the senses to the point most people do not understand or "get it". I can understand your frustration with his eating habits, however you need to understand that this battle you are fighting is a no win situation. He is not going to give in. He is not going to eat new foods just because you are limiting his food intake. His mom is right for taking him to McDonads to get him something he will eat. You do not use food as a punisher for a behavior you are wanting to change. Any pediatrician, psychologist, psychiatrist will tell you the same thing. And, you can be reported to the department of children's services for neglect. Your understanding of autism must be limited and I am certain the mom has to work or her son would not be in your care. Quite frankly, your approach is very questionable. I would suggest that you find a psychologist/behavior analyst in your area to assist you in positve practices related to behavior change with children diagnosed with autism. I would also gain as much information as I could to assist your sister in helping this child. The national austism society is a great place to start. Here is their website. http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer If the child is gagging to the point he is vomitting I can assure you he is not faking his dislike for the food. Traditional parenting approaches goes out the window with children with autism. The best thing you can do for this childs mom is to get your hands on every piece of documentation that you can get your hands on to educate yourself about autism. The lack of knowledge only causes further harm when you are an instrumental part of this childs life.

L.
Behavior analyst mother of 22 month old daughter.

If you are serious about helping your nephew I would suggest reading a book on Autisim. As a mother of a mildly autisic son, your post is a bit offensive. Autistic children do not live by the same rules as typical children. It is not uncommon for them to reject foods due to texture, color, placement, etc. Parenting a child with Autisim is often overwhelming and before you judge the mom as lazy, you might want to consider the possibility that she probably tried everything you are to no avail before resigning to giving her child his prefered foods. That is not to say that certain autistic behaviors can't be changed but it is a challenging and frustrating process that will take a well thought out approach that you can probably find in a book addressing Autisic behaviors.

By the way, it could be worse. I have a friend who's Autistic son will only eat french fries and chicken nuggets.

The best you can do is trick him. An autistic child has a limited ability to cooperate. My son is now seven and has alsawys been a very picky eater. When he was younger I found a fruit juice that had a carrot juice base. Common version is V8 fusion. This was a compromise until he was older. Now he will eat what ever I put on his plate, but I only give him a small amount of the things he does not like.
Good luck.

It's not really a battle worth picking. He will get the nutrition he needs...maybe just make him a peanut butter sandwich but ask him to try one small bite of everything you cook. Making it fun to try new things is the key to getting him to do it. Let his mother deal with it; he will try things when he is ready. I know it's hard; my 2nd son is picky and his doctor said to not worry about it but to keep introducing new foods. He will be fine; kids his age really don't need that much to satisfy their nutritional needs. Good luck!

Obviously you dont understand that it is not the mother being "lazy" nor the child being stubborn that is the problem. My child is exactly the same way and the cause is autism. He eats very few foods and is extremely reluctant to try new foods. He occasionally will look interested in something we are eating, but if we encourage it, he immediately becomes resistent again. The only successes we have had were with "food chaining" which is offering a food that resembles a food that is already accepted. This works to a very small degree, such as offering breaded pieces of pork or fish as a substitute for chicken nuggets but its important to understand that you will have to make these foods look a LOT like the chicken nuggets. This worked for us for a time, but now he analyzes each piece very closely to make sure it is acceptable. This is because of his need for order and control that goes with autism. It is mentally disturbing to him to change what he knows and accepts in the food arena, and it is cruel to starve an autistic child for days because he will not try a new food. He cant help being the way he is.

Now that my son is closer to 3, and we have chelated him (DMSA) and are giving him supplements (enzymes, carnosine, fish oil and occasionally DMG) he has gotten more vocal and somewhat more open to new experiences, especially when reinforced by photos and videos of other children enjoying other foods. Recently he made a breakthrough by trying his chocolate easter bunny, which I explained to him was candy and was yummy and delicious. You know that its not just stubbornness when you have to work on a child to eat candy!!! Its autism.

K.,
It sounds like you are having a really hard time. I went through the same thing with a little girl that I babysitted. Her father was a friend. He only fed her junk and made her have bad stomach problems. She just turned 4 and would not go to the potty to do her business. It hurt her really bad. I started introducing her to fruits and putting fiber in food that she would eat. Other than that there was not much I could do since he would not listen to me. I got so frustrated that i finally had to learn to keep my mouth shut. Anyways I stopped keeping her because I moved and then he started feeding her better. All you can do is see if he gets his vitamins through a supplement and try to recommend that he take some flintstones or something like that. Some children are just picky and that is all they will eat. Also fast food is just easier but it is what is making our children sick!!! I wish people could see that! I really feel for you since i was in a similar position. I do not know about Autism and how he would be in that sense. Good luck and let me know if I could be of any further help or support!
J.

Him being Austic is a BIG deal. Kids with Autism have major sensory issues and some would rather starve than eat certin foods. Feed him what you know he will eat, you can offer him other foods-on another plate but dont push it. My little girl has major sensory issues and food is one of them. I had to learn to deal with her food issues. Its hard but if you research food issues with Autism you will see.If you have any questions about Autism feel free to PM me. I would be happy to help. Also is he in any therapy? My daughter is and they have helped with some of her food issues.
~N.

I just Can Not believe this....U have no idea what huge sensory issues ur nephew has his mother isnt lazy itz better 4 him 2 eat something than ____@____.com very upset bc am a mother o a 3year old who used 2 eat veggies,friuts everything u can imagine my son was dignosed with PDDNOS ABOUT 1YEAR AGO AND HE HAS STOPPED EATING EVERYTHING( besides kids all become picky eaters and the age)!he will onlii eat soft stuff lyk jello ,yogurt,home made donplins u have no idea whats happen in his lil body Sensory issues also affect eating his ST AND OT R THE PERFESSIONALS 2 HELP HIM EXPOSE HIM 2 DIFFRENT TEXTURES N FOODS UR NOT THE ONE WITH THE MASTERS!!N AS FAR AS U CALLING HIS MOM LAZY(I WOULDNT WANT MY SON AROUND U) U SHUD EDUCATE URSELF ON KIDS WITH AUTISM AND STOP EXPOSING ALL UR TOXIC AND NEGATIVE ENERGY ON DUMB STUFF!!IF U REALLY WANT TO HELP HIM TAKE HIM APPLE PICKING 2 DA FARM DO ACTIVITIES WITH HIM EXPOSE HIM 2 NEW THINGS IF HE EVEN TOUHES A FRIUT IS A MAJOR THING!!AND EDUCATE URSELF ITS HARD ENOUGH DEALING AND COPING WITH THIS DISABILITY N SHE DOESNT NEED ANOTHER NEGATIVE PERSON LYK U AROUND!!!!

What if he doesn't like the foods that you are offering? Four days is too long for a child to go without eating something. Even McDonald's are offering veggies and fruits with there food instead of the fries.

It starts with the mother though, she has to do some of this work, because you said it, he knows she's going to bring him some nuggets or something he likes. I would talk to the mother again (nice and calmly)it would seem she would want her child to eat healthy foods also. When you give him veggies, are they plain? Add a little something to them.