Chores for 5 Year Olds

My first thoughts on the stealing issue were the same as Tammi F's. Does he want to spend more time with his father? This could be the issue that needs to be explored.
I also agree with her as far as chores vs. allowance. (I must have read some of the same articles.) Chores are the child's responsibility as a member of the household. It's their contribution. Not a paid job.
Tammi listed a few chores that a child that age could do, I'd like to addto the list: making their bed, feeding the animals (if any)

T.

Hi J.,

Just curious, but did your son say WHY he wanted the money? Is there something special he wants to buy? I think at 5 he is definitely old enough to have chores and earn an allowance. My kids got 50 cents per year of their age. We had a job chart and they got a star each day when they completed their chore. If they earned all of their stars they got thier allowance. Some jobs 5 year olds are old enough to do include: picking up their toys/books/etc...; carrying their dirty laundry to the washer; putting clean clothes in their rooms (and maybe even in the right drawers); making thier beds; setting the table;

oh, one other thing to think about. We made our kids put 1/3 of thier allowance in a savings account; 1/3 in the basket at church; and 1/3 they could spend or save up to buy a big item that they wanted. They would look through catalogs and talk about what they wanted and we would figure out how many weeks they would have to save to be able to buy it.

Good luck!

M.

Hi J.,
First of all, sorry to hear about you being in this sticky situation. When my kids do unexplained actions, I always try to identify where it maybe coming from. For etc, maybe he saw it on TV. My son watches Spongebob alot and there are certain episodes that I don't let him watch.

Now for chores with my 6 year old, I have give her 25 cents for various things such as making her bed, getting dressed by herself, brushing her teeth without being asked to, putting her dishes away in the sink, and helping with the laundry. It worked! She evens saves her money to earn certain things that she knows will cost more. Good luck!

Dr. Kevin Leman has a great list list of chores in the book- "Bringing Up Children Without Tearing Them Down"> He suggests allowing your child to choose a few chores from the list (on pg 245) His list includes: Making your own sandwich and cleaning up after yourself, Prepare the table for dinner, Dress self after choosing own clothing, Make bed and clean room, sort own clothing for washing, Help clean out the car (my three year old loves this chore),Take out the trash, feed and clean up after pets. He has a few others on this list (there are 20 items, he suggests for those children new to chores that you sit down with them and decide on 5 or 6 to start with.If the other brother is the same age, he can choose his own chores, or share with his brother). The stealing may relate to money, or there may be other issues. It sounds to me as if he is not making a power play. Usually that happens if parents are too authoritarian, and you seem to be dealing with the stealing the right way. Is the other child, by chance a "great child"? Often times we don't notice that we are favoring one child, and then the other tries to get attention negatively. You may want to ask your child why he took the money from the teacher and Grandma, you may be surprised at why he did it. Then watch for opportunities to catch this child doing the right thing, and encourage him in it!( There is an interesting discussion on praise vs encouragement- it is well worth a read).

My son is now 18 months old and LOVES to help mommy. I have taught him how to take the laundry to the washer (we push the baskets and make car noises) and load it (I do all the soap and stuff), then switch it to the dryer (they are both front loading), and then to put it in the basket it needs a bit of assistance but when I tell him we are going to do the laundry he gets all excited. I have also taught him to take the little trash bags from our bathrooms and but them in the kitchen garbage. And he gets to put away his silverware and our spoons from the dishwasher. He’s only 18 months and he loves to help me. Usually on Saturday or Sunday mornings my husband will give him a dollar or 4 quarters to put in his piggy bank, he has no clue what it is for but he loves the money in his bank. But I understand why you trying to find something you can reward him for with money (since he seems to be drawn to it) I think it is a great Idea. When my son started kicking we ran out and found a positive way to channel that energy with soccer. It may also benefit you to do the chores with him just for a little extra one on one time, “they say” kids can act out if they need attention. I just started it this early because I figured out the earlier you expose them to things the easier it is to incorporate it into everyday life. I think anything can be taught to a child of any age, you just have to take the time to show them, then of course we cant expect perfection either...lol! But I think your doing the right thing!!

Chores:
Set the table
Clear the table
Clean their room
Fold laundry
Maybe empty the dishwasher?
My Dad made a rotating schedule for us kids so we all took turns doing the table setting, kitchen stuff.

At that age, they can be doing laundry folding, and putting away in drawers, bringing newspapers to the recycle bin, feeding pets, lots of household chores...
Good luck with the behavior. Perhaps knowing Dad takes care of "bad people" gives him a sense of security that nothing will happen to him? Be consistent and drive it into his head that "we don't act this way...it's wrong"
Then praise for good behavior. Your other little too, so he's not left out

5 year olds can collect the garbage from the bathrooms,
take their dinner plates or anytime they eat, they can bring it to the sink, they can make their beds, keep their rooms neat and just show good manners!!!! (please and thank-yous)

My daughter is 20mths old today and she has things she help me do around the house. She helps me seperate the clothes when I do laundry, she puts the clothes in the dryer and takes them out when they r dry. She also picks up her own toys all over the house every night b 4 we go 2 bed, she helps me empty the dishwasher and take out the trash (since my husband works nights now. I honestly have to say that she started helping me with the laundry, dishes and trash on her own. So maybe if your son likes to help you do certain things around the house you can start with that and then add things on the older he gets. My brother and I had many chores growing up (my mother worked 2-3 jobs to care for us) and I think that made us better adults. I hope you get this problem under control.

I have 4 boys, my youngest is 5. His chores are 1. Wipe down his bathroom (clorox wipes) and keep it straight(this is alternated monthly with my 8 yr old). 2. Empty our small trash cans once a week(again monthy switches). If you have a pet, they could feed and care for its water dish.3. Of course, he is also responsible for the upkeep of his bedroom. They can also help you out. Maybe you could show them how to dust? They could help you unload the dishwasher....don't underestimate their cababilites.:>)
A tip on consequences for the stealing.....take his things away (toys, games etc) and make him earn money to buy them back. You have already talked with him and explained that it is wrong. Now it's time for action. Boys must know you mean business or TRUST ME when they're 13 your job will be MUCH harder! God bless you as you try to raise your "men".
OOps..I need to add that my sons do not get paid for their chores. It is their contribution to our family and home to help keep it running smoothly. Now ,we have paid them for "extra" things. Especially if they are done without being asked.

All my kids start chores around 6 or so, but 5 is also a good age. I always start with putting their own laundry away. After I wash and fold it, they help carry it to their rooms and put them in the appropriate drawer. After that has worked for a while, I start with other things like helping with the trash, getting it out of the house & down to the curb. You will be amazed at how fast and how much a child can do and will do especially if they are getting rewarded. I did do money for chores in the begining, but with 4 of them, they are not paid any longer. Although, I see no problem with it, as long as they do the chores when told, correctly and with no complaints. Breaking any of these rules cost them the allowance. There must be a scense of responsibility that goes with the reward.

My kids range from 14 to 6 & here are some of their chores :
Putting clothes away
Trash
Vaccuuming
Dusting
Straightening pillows on the couch
Helping with picking weeds (We actually do this as a family every couple of weeks)
helping me put groceries away

Realy anything that can be taught simply and does not require a lot of coordination, I do not like to make my kids do anything I would hate to do (like clean restrooms or do floors). Picking up their rooms is a good thing for them to do, I only paid them for this, when they did it without me having to tell them and for more than 1 day. They had to show me commitment to this task as it is something I always considered their duty to do and not mine once they got to this age.

Good luck with the stealing, I have also gone through this with my 2 older children & I am not sure anything I did was the correct thing, but I was very annoyed by this behavior & am glad that at least for now, I have seen an end to that faze.

Hi J.: Five year olds are capable of cleaning up their toys, helping set and clear the table, helping sort and fold laundry, helping collect the garbage on garbage night, even help make their bed. My son is three and helps with all these chores. Giving them chores to do and allowing them to help gives them a sense of accomplishment and self esteem. Does your husband talk about work in front of the kids? Perhaps it is a curiosity and test to see if something really would happen? Or perhaps he is glorifying it in his head when your husband talks about work. I'm not sure. But stealing is generally an issue of control. Is it possible you or your husband are too rigid and he is using what he knows to gain a sense of control. I would let him know that the behavior is completely unacceptable and if it happens again there will be consequences. Lay out those consequences and follow through if it happens again. In the meantime, give him chores and show him that he can get money in an honest way that wont get him in trouble. I'm guessing its a stage and if you and your husband are honest people, he'll get through it OK. Good Luck.

i would show him how to make his bed and have him start doing that.(ok it will not meet up toyour standards but he can do it).if he has a garbage in his room or if they have a bathroom then they could take the garbage out in them 2 rooms.if they get their toys out of course they can put their own toys away.maybe help clear the kitchen table at meal times.
the stealing is not so good. have you asked him why he does this? what does he say as an answer? ask him how he would feel if someone took something he loved (take his favorite toy for instance) try to relate it to how he would feel if it happened to him.you definetly want to nip this in the butt before he steals from the store or something.my youngest did this at an early age too, i do not know but now he is 18 and got arrested with 2 other boys for stealing a 3-wheeler he says he did not do it only he says her only rode it after it was stolen and he did not know it was stolen,which was a lie as it turns out.so this stealing only progresses.i do not know but he needs to talk to someone.and you ned to get to the bottom of it. good luck lady.

J. - Just my 10c worth - I have issues with my son stealing - he is 9 now. He steals stuff from ME that he knows that I would not allow him to have. Mostly food items - he is on a restricted diet - he resents the rest of as we eat what we choose. He also has anxiety issues of things he cannot control - just found this out 2 weeks ago, tornadoes, fires, lightening, wild animals attacking etc.

Kids also pick up a lot of stuff from the TV. I do not have cable TV etc, so I know he does not get this from our house, but sometimes he will say innapropriate words or phrases that I know he has not heard from me. He thought all movies were real!

I say ASK him what he wants the money for, and get to the root of the issue.

Good luck
M. F