Christmas Gift Disaster

I know I'm a bit late, but I must give you these gems,

I have received the following from my grandmother, who has money, when I was a teenager:

A necklace with a rusted pendant (NOT an antique)

A bottle of perfume that had been discontinued for 6 years and the cap was fused to the bottle

A bath towel

My mother received a box of chocolate covered cherries that were moldy.

My nephew was given a ziplock bag full of used and broken crayons, along with a coloring book that had been colored on most pages.

SO, it could be MUCH worse than a cheap personalized bag with useful, albeit boring, items.

I have a stepmother. She married my Dad when I was 13. At Christmas I would go there, to be with my Dad, and my brothers and sisters. They would pull out the ipods and laptops, the tomtoms and the expensive clothes. Then it would come to me, and I would open it, and it would be the most generic, boring cheap gift imaginable, and she would do it right there in front of everyone! My Dad either didn't notice the $100's of dollars disparity in the gifts, or he didn't care. I am talking a Walgreens style toiletry set, or a $20 gift card, that is as much thought went into my gift, from my own parents. It cut me up for years, and still does to be honest. I try not to let it. You are not crazy, or selfish. The other people are.

I was raised to "never look a gift horse in the mouth"....Yeah that sounds like a tacky gift but sometimes people are just clueless. Continue to care about what you give and try not to care about what you get.

Not liking a gift does not make you a horrible selfish person. I'm not sure I would have shared that I didn't like the gift with anyone and it sounds like sharing it with your MIL was not very wise.

My uncle always gets me bizarre stuff. He's single, on very limited income.
It's the thought that counts.
I personally try to get things for people that I myself would love. People aren't always able to reciprocate for whatever reason.
I guess I'm more concerned that this gift was given two years ago and it's still stinging.
It's not even October yet...Please....let's not go Christmas crazy because I'm not looking forward to it at all. I'm still mourning the fact I never got a summer.
I got a pack of Sham-Wow towels one year. I would never have bought them for myself, but I've used them. All was not lost.
I think too much emphasis is put on gifts, but that's just me.
We can't equate gifts with affection. Even if money is no object.
Some families even have a drawing to see who gets the white elephant gift.
I think we went through the same ancient portable hair dryer complete with the hose that went up the back of your head to dry your hair in curlers for about 5 years.
It was pretty funny.
Sometimes you have to have a sense of humor and just be thankful you have family members even if they annoy you.
I've lost a lot of people this year. Last year was worse.
Life is short and fragile.
Hanging on to hurt from two years ago is just not a healthy and productive way to move forward with your own world.
Just my opinion.

I would probably find it amusing. In fact, I DO find your story very amusing!

Who gives people cotton balls? But mostly, who gets upset for YEARS when someone gives them cotton balls?!

Sounds like there's enough silly drama to keep you all occupied in negativity from Christmas to Christmas!

:(

So here is what my sister does, and she is a multi-millionaire....she buys books at Costco, gives them all out on Christmas day, and then when she is back in your home, she literally steals the books back and returns them to Costco for the money, as she kept the original receipt. And if you notice, which I did one year, she says, 'Oh you weren't reading it....Like how would she know??? She did this with my wedding gift, a super expensive down comforter, she took out of my closet in the summer b/c I wasn't using it, etc.

Some people dear are just nutso..and your loaded relative is tacky for sure....Here's what I would do..I would 're-gift' her the same cotton balls and swabs....and tell her how much they reminded you of her.

I am a giver. I would rather plan and host a party, than be given a party.

I love finding the perfect gift and giving it to someone, way more than getting gifts.

So I never expect anything. I am so please that people even think of giving me a gift..

I give because I want to, not because I expect the same "Quality" or thought to be put in to a gift that I do for others.

Maybe you need to ask for what you want, or give a list to your husband in case people ask..

I am sorry it hurt your feelings. But be very careful stating you are unhappy with any gift. It may be the best they could do. Money wise or taste wise.

Sorry, but not everybody is as good at buying gifts as you are probably. You should stop holding people to your standards. Not everybody can measure up. And you should never discuss what you think of a gift to your MIL!! If you say something unkind about someone, it will get back to them. And that's just not nice.

They thought of you and it might have been, in their eyes, a nice gift to you. For you to be stewing over it after two years is unbelievable.

I am pretty good at buying neat gifts for people too, but I don't expect anything in return. I also host Thanksgiving and Christmas and couldn't care less if I got anything from anybody. I love giving gifts and seeing people happy. You, apparently, do not.

Every year my SIL gives me gifts that I will never use. Most of them get put in the donate pile or into a re-gifting box if they are nice but something I wouldn't use. Every year, I say "thank you", have a good laugh with my husband on the way home, and then wait to see what happens the next year. What is funny to me is that my SIL is one who gets offended if people don't spend the same amount on her gifts. I love to give gifts and I don't expect an equal return or anything at all. In your case, I suggest you make this a fun memory to laugh about every year by yourself and continue to be the generous person that you are.

You teach people how to treat you. Stop being their doormat. Stop hosting their party. Obviously they don't appreciate it. Make donations to charity in their name as their gift. And tell your MIL that you don't appreciate your trust being broken. And since she couldn't imagine getting a gift that she wouldn't think was good enough.... Buy her a book on etiquette. Stop letting them eat you alive. And let it go dear. You are giving your power away. Your username says a lot. It is nice that you love to help... but everyone has gotten a crappy gift. I have even been given a regift with the persons name still on it. Now, that being said your feelings are still valid. But please stop speaking of it your husband's family. You will come across as immature and petty. Though I am sure you are not.

Not crazy for thinking that was a crappy gift. What is crazy though is letting it hurt you and taking it personally "it crushed me, like I wasn't good enough" Fuhgettabbouttit!

Well, at least the bag was personalised! Lol. Crappy present, but watcha gonna do? Let it go, ignore MIL's comments, and move on.

I would give my MIL a similar gift this Christmas and see how she reacts!!

I would not have been upset.
I actually have uses for cotton balls.
Would you have felt better had you received nothing at all?
Granted, some gifts are not well thought out, but I refuse to try to figure out what someone else was thinking (I have enough trouble figuring out my own thinking sometimes), so just accept it graciously.
If you wanted to, you could have made something from the cotton balls and give it back to them as a gift next Christmas.
There are tons of artsy crafty projects out there that use cotton balls.
Seeing as they provided the cotton, they should be THRILLED to see it was put to good use.

Why on earth are you discussing a Christmas gift from a couple years ago?

Simply yes, you are selfish. I have gotten much worse than a canvas bag with my initial, and cotton.

I am a giver. I love shopping for people and watching them open what I bought. I also realize that most are not like me, and I would never judge someone who wasn't a good gift giver.

I try very hard to imagine how I would feel if a comment I made to someone in confidence got back to the person I was talking about.... hence, I try not to say negative things to people that might not be able to keep my comment to themselves......

As others have said, they may have had a very limited budget...

Or, as you have seen, your MIL has taken your comment the wrong way...

Go back to the Bambi movie.... who was it that said... "If you can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all..." Thumper, I think?

well the fact that it was a personalized bag means it wasn't a last minute gift. honestly i am siding with MIL on this one. it's good manners to be gracious and that means inside AND out. if you're only doing lip service and "crushed" and "heartbroken" inside, than you really aren't that appreciative and gracious are you? this wasn't a disaster. what others give you for christmas really shouldn't be this big of a deal. i'd say like all of us, you have some work to do on yourself. not judging - just, join the club! :)

My in laws give me some crazy stuff. One year my MIL gave me a lint roller. Yes, a lint roller. I think it was accompanied by a bath scrunchie, but still, it was a lint roller. You're not crazy or selfish, it would have hurt my feelings too, but you can't tell them that! Just suck it up while you're with them, give them the benefit of the doubt and complain to your girlfriends. I often feel this way with Hubby's family too...I'm the only one who goes out of my way for holidays, birthdays, etc. and I do it b/c I want to, but sometimes it does bug me too. Hang in there and try not to worry about it. This Christmas come up with a strategy if you need to. One year I got everyone on my husband's side all slipper socks...they were super nice and cushy and not that cheap, but I just didn't have it in me to shop for individual presents that year. You don't always have to be perfect, is all I'm saying! Hang in there!!!

I think you should get your MIL Q-tips and cotton this year for Christmas.

My MIL when I was about 25 years old, on Mother's Day, went into her bedroom and came out with a gift for me-- underwear--unwrapped--that was about 6 sizes BIGGER than what I would ever wear.(Now my MIL usually gives nice gifts--go figure) So, doesn't that make your initial bag with cotton balls seems not so bad. Maybe the relative really thought that you would like the gift and it was useable--unlike underwear that was huge. Don't worry about the small stuff and don't worry about what the MIL is saying. You just got your feelings hurt. Move on and happy shopping.

My feelings might be hurt for this...it definitely was not a well-thought out gift. However, I really would not dwell on it...not worth the time...

It is the thought that counts, but really, how much thought goes into cotton balls? I would have felt the same as you, but I never would have said anything to anyone, I think that is the only place you made your mistake. I remember for several years in a row my fil gave me nothing, except the one year he gave me a bumper sticker he wrapped that morning with the scraps from what the kids opened.

My SIL would love this gift, in fact I just may give that to her for xmas. She pampers herself consantly with pedicures. And the way she does her makeup is insane, she uses tons of swabs, like a couple boxes a month.

I guess if there wasn't a correlation to the cotton balls & swabs, it would hurt my feelings. Especially since you host their entire family for Christmas. Try to let it roll off your back and just enjoy the meaning of Christmas.

I have an idea. Why don't you use the cotton balls & make this relative a small pillow out of it & you can use the bag as the fabric for the pillow. 'Make lemonade when given lemons', or 'make pillows when give cotton balls', lol

I just think you were disappointed. But actually no one ever thought enough of me to give me anything with my initial (s) on it and I think we all can use the things she gave you.And maybe that person didn't want to burden you with one more return. As you move along in life maybe you need to examine why you felt this way.You sound like you were really crushed and something besides this gift might have triggered it. You mentioned that you host the family party. So I would think that when we do things like that, at least myself, I expect people to be as nice back as I am trying to get everyone to think I am. Often times people don't realize how much work you did and how much you want to be appreciated. My husband for instance makes homemade salsa for all the family gatherings and he is crushed when someone doesn't appreciate it. I have consoled him a number of times. It is delicous but some people just don't think. So I would forgive this person and move one.

Yes well it seemed like a very unthoughtful gift.
Maybe the person that gave it to you, did not have much money?

But yes, in the future, do not tell your MIL or your in-laws anything.
They tend to spin it out of control.

Did your Husband, say anything about that gift, last year? Did he think it was tacky or rude or unthoughtful? Maybe that relative, is just not a good gifter?
Who knows.

But do not, tell the in-laws anything anymore.
Or they are defensive, about the gift, because they 'know' it was a rude gift. And are making like it is, your fault.

Are your in-laws, generally nice well adjusted people? Or cold and passive-aggressive and tacky and obnoxious and usually belittle you or take you for granted?
If they are generally loving and nice and accepting of you, then well they just are not good gift buyers like you are.

And, perhaps you do not have to... host "their" Christmas get together every year.

Personally, they would have irked me. BUT, if I knew that was the way my In-Laws were, and if they always belittled me... I would, just not like them and just not let them.... make me their little target.

I am REAL interested, in what your HUSBAND thinks... of them and of you... since you are his Wife and they gave you such a....gift? Does he back you up?

Don't make this an issue.
But I would not host Christmas again. For them.
Go and be with YOUR family and have your own... party.

Well, first, remember that Christmas is not about gifts. It is about the birth of Christ and sharing his love.
Second, maybe that's all they could afford? My husbands grandma makes the most horrible gifts like maroon knit booties for a 30 year old man, but you know what? We appreciate them!
Some gifts suck. That's not going to change. Just be thankful that you are able to host and be thankful that someone thought about you.

I can see how it would have been weird for you. I think I would have wondered on some level if I had offended the person or if they were short on cash or something. But, the truth is, gifts don't mean a lot to me. It's mostly the thought that matters. So I wouldn't have been upset. I can think of two different times I was given really lame gifts (almost equivalent to toilet paper), and it didn't bother me at all.

I can see why you feel like you do because it sounds like you are more of a gift giver - someone who feels loved by gifts and gives love by giving gifts. Some people are that way and some people are not...there's nothing wrong with either way. So, to you, it was insulting because you interpret the gift somewhat as to how you feel love. Like you said, you felt like you weren't good enough for anything better than cotton balls.

So, anyway...while I don't feel like you do, I can see how that was hurtful to you based off of the fact that I'm pretty sure you're a gift giver!

I wish I could give yoga hug. you shouldn't have felt that way that you are wrong for even ONE SECOND! that is the shittiest gift I've ever heard of next to a flaming pile of dog poop and I mean it! sorry, if I offend anyone but a lot of rich people I've seen are the cheapest people. it tends to be blue collar people whom are more giving. Promise me you won't feel bad for even one more minute?? that mil needs to be dropped on her face into a pile of vomit. my mil is so great, i call her mom, i feel so bad for all of you that have these terrible mil's. YOU DO WHAT I SAID!

noyou are not crazy. i'd be holding the same feelings years later. on my first christmas with my twins, my MIL sent me a white paper (1 piece of white printing paper)and a box of crayons, and the message said: here is a hobby for you.
:)
ps i have no relationship with her now. we don't talk.

Maybe she just didn't know what to get you, or what you would like to have gotten. I know for me, I have to shop for all of my family, plus all of my husbands family. It can get pretty expensive. Maybe she was trying to make all of the presents of equal value. I wouldn't have made it a big deal. It's the thought that counts. If it was on my husband's side of the family, I wouldn't expect to get anything, to be honest. Enjoy your family, and don't worry about the small things.

I wouldn't take it personal- maybe the gift hunt isn't as important to them as it is to you. And quite possibly they were proud of thier initial bag.
It had been almost a year and you are still thinking of last years gift? Time to move on....

It was a crappy gift, and it woudl have made me feel bad too. But I would have kept my opinion to myself. You never know why or how these things happen - maybe it was a last minute gift, and perhpas she feels awful inside. Maybe she was trying to be practical. Maybe she is having problems you know nothing about. Who knows?

Asumning this person and I have a good history, I would have given them a pass. And if I didn't have a good history, then I might not have cared that much. I think you are saying, "It isn't good enough." And it isn't really, but I don't think you get to talk about this person behind their back. If you weren't talking about her, then how does your MIL know? You are creating drama that doesn't need to be there in my opinion.

Look, maybe it's even okay that you told your MIL that your feelings were hurt. But it's her family, and she is being defensive. Maybe she could have said, "I understand" and shown a bit of empathy.. But seriously, just be grateful for a nice holiday with your family and move on. You can't change other people, and unless you think there is some motive underlying the gift, then what does it matter?

I think that you are reading way to much into this. Okay so it was a crapy gift. Get over that. Not everyone has the desire/time/energy/resources to buy everyone they know an over the top gift.

Sorry I am one of those people some of the time. I absolutely hate the whole gift buying thing at Christmas. I am a generous, giving person...but I absolutely HATE the feeling that I have to buy everyone I know a meaningul wonderful gift that says how much I value them every year in December.

Consider this maybe the gift giver ran out of steam/time/creativity/energy by time they got to you. No reflection on you, your value to them, how they think of you, etc.

Let it go. Cause really, this is not a problem in the big scope of life. If this is really weighing on you....you need to get over it, move on and find some thing else to focus on. I would not hold a grudge for 1 second on this...in my opinion you have already wasted to much precious time on this. Sorry to be so blunt...but this is just unneeded whinning and self pity for no reason.

Well, yeah - sorry - I've not read the other posts ...however, you are STILL lamenting on a gift from several YEARS ago?

yeah - it was a crappy gift - we know that she THOUGHT something about it because she had your initials embroidered on it...

just because you shop and shop doesn't mean others do. would I have been upset? probably - yeah. but I would've thrown it away and pressed on. I don't even understand why your MIL brought it up again...or why it was even being discussed!!! Let it go...

I wouldn't be all that crushed, but I would find it odd. Why cotton balls and facial swabs? I hate it even more when I really search hard for a gift for someone and they don't even act like it was anything they would like. One year I put together an entire Grandma care package with supplies of all the favorite things my kids enjoy doing at Grandma's house. I put in fancy little tins of flavored coffee and cocoa, some teacups (So the little ones wouldn't break her good ones) picture frames to fill, little candies and mixes of things the kids enjoy making for her, and an album of photos of the entire family. She snubbed the entire gift and hurt my feelings and the kids were so disappointed because they had helped put it together.

Aside from the gift being crappy, and yes I think it was a crappy gift...She may have had a personal thought by putting initials on the bag as Adansmama said...It's not that hard to put initials on a bag though.
Regardless, your MIL is way out of line. She is basically telling you that your feelings don't matter and you are wrong. Your MIL needs to be shut down if she brings it up. Your feelings are YOUR feelings and she has NO right to tell you that you feel wrong. It's been a couple of years, time to get over it. MIL I mean. Just shut her down. It's easy to say to MIL, You have it covered, Thanks I will give that the consideration it deserves, or just say I am done talking about it. Then walk away.

I say let it go. Some people are not good at giving gifts. Some people suck. It's not a reflection on you.

My SIL is otherwise a very lovely person and usually so thoughtful. One Christmas, she gave me a tube of lotion that was clearly used and had a big "TESTER" sticker on it. She told me her girls picked it out for me. Um, ok. I believe that year we spent nearly $300 on presents for her family. Another year, she gave me the exact same picture frame she gave me the previous year. Whatever. I know she loves me, but Christmas time is kind of one of those holidays where you are just crossing people off a list. Don't take it personally. At least she got the initial on the tote bag right. :)

Always give from your heart without expectation of receiving and when you get a gift always thank them from your heart. It is not what you give or receive it is about appreciating the thought!

Before you get yourself all worked up, realize that some people are just really, really odd gift givers. Every family seems to have one of them. The best thing you can do for yourself is lower your expectations and develop a sense of humor. But seriously, if your MIL is outright rude to you, embarrasses you and treats you poorly, you have every right to stop hosting their family Christmas. That's what I would do. Skip it. Let someone else do it. Make plans with your family or just with your immediate family.

I don't think that you feeling unappreciated or a bit offended was wrong, because that's a strange and kind of crappy gift to receive. However, I do think you sharing those feelings with your MIL was not smart--especially if you know what kind of person she is! Share those feelings with someone who understands, like your husband or maybe us here on Mamapedia! And keep your feelings to yourself instead of sharing them with your MIL in the future.

And I love the idea of giving your MIL a similar gift this year! Get her a cheap bag with her initials and fill it with cotton balls and Q-tips. Then if she says anything, tell her "but you seemed to think it was such an awesome gift that I just had to share it with you!"

On a side note--it's possible that the bag with your initials was the gift and the gift-giver didn't want to give you a flimsy, empty bag so instead of filling it with crumpled paper, he/she put puffy items in it that you could use. Like cotton balls and Q-tips. I can follow the logic of it, I guess it just depends on who gave it to you! You can never have too many cotton balls...

Let it go. If you did not get a gift, you would be upset about that. You got one, it was not to your liking, OK. Why get everyone involved. Next time
smile say thank you and do not say a word.

Gift giving and receiving is one of the trickiest problem areas in many families. One funny thing about gifts is that when a receiver succeeds in controlling what others give them, it becomes more an obligation or tax than a freely-given token of connection.

I wonder if another angle would help relieve your dismay. Some are genuinely "color-blind" to the way their gift might be received or the 'message' the recipient might get from it. I'm reportedly a terrible gift-giver (at least sometimes), because I tend to give what I would like to get, especially if I don't know the receiver well enough to know what they like. I most appreciate functional or usable gifts that will not have to become a permanent fixture in my home or closet. For me, cotton balls would be a more appreciated gift than a scented candle (I am sensitive to perfumes), or wine (can't handle the sulfites), and a picture frame may not meet my taste at all unless people know I prefer a simple black strip around a picture. One of the best gifts I ever received was a load of gravel to use in my garden; I dropped a few hints to my hunny for about 2 months before my birthday to get that one (but he appreciated the hints).

Likewise, I have a sister who gifts me new t-shirts every year that she apparently finds on sale tables, in pastels I would never wear, imprinted with some goofy theme. But what I have come to realize is that she doesn't know what I would like that might be within her price range. So I just accept the gift wit a gracious thank-you, recognizing that she's making an effort to remember my special day.

So, there are other ways to contemplate the gifts you receive that might leave you feeling less hurt or resentful. I suspect that what really feels uneven to you is that you put so much thought into your gift shopping. That is a truly admirable gift, but also one that is not equally available to everyone. They may not have the imagination, time or energy to do all that shopping. Can you forgive her for not being you?

I have to chip in here and say that yea it wa a crappy gift, but you really unless they are showing you bank statements, have no clue what their financial status is.

I had to literally show my gimme gimme gimme all the time 28 yr old step daughter my bank account and all our bills before she believed we could not help pay for her wedding!

Yes, it was a crappy gift. I would feel bad about it too. It's been a while so maybe now you can just learn to laugh about it? My ex-in laws (mom, dad, brother and sister) are all wealthy but they sent me the worst junk all the time. Some of the things I got were: plastic easter tablecloth and plastic forks at Christmas, a hot pink velour jogging suit 3 sizes too big, a neon paisley vest 2 sizes too small, chipped pilgrim salt and pepper shakers, plastic floral Christmas picks, huge white sunglasses, and a golf ball sized marble (wth???) and oodles of horrid gaudy bobble jewelry. I too thought over gifts for them and chose carefully, but ended up with the junk I got anyway. I just pitched or donated stuff and laughed about it and went on. It's really not worth getting too upset over for so long as you are really not likely to change people.

Your first mistake, was complaining about the gift openly.

Yes, I have been the receiving end of very embarrassing gift exchanges. I once got a pack of glow in the dark stars that were 50 cents for a gift exchange for a $20 minimum. It was embarrassing as we had to open the gifts in front of everyone. This was also from a person who had a lot of money to spend, who gave 'everyone else' very nice gifts. So, I knew it was a slam on me. But oh well, just be gracious and thankful.

Perhaps this person thought a little spa type bag was a cute gift idea, maybe it was all they could afford at the time.

ETA: sending from my phone!

I understand the hurt. My husbands family does Secret Santa... I lOce giving! It's so fun! Last year... I found this fantastic gift for my BIL. Sent it well ahead of time. I know it flgit there as I asked my niece! Never rec'd a thank you or anything from him. I also never rec'd a SS gift that year! Whoever had me didn't think about me at all! It hurt but what her worse was I put a lot into my gift fir someone else and they weren't even grateful!

Just so you know, others have had it worse. I would actually like the things you got, I always forget to buy them and always seem to need them. Is this person close to you? Is she normally a kind person? Does it seem like her to give a gift with out thought or reason?

"When it comes to gifts going bad, I'm pretty sure I win the mother of all prizes. It all starts early in my childhood when my brother and I would wake up around 7 on Christmas morning just waiting for my mom to get up so we could open our presents. Without fail, we would have to wait for our grandmother to come over before we could tear into that wrapping paper. Mom would call and tell her to get over to our house no later than 8:30. But seeing as how my grandmother was afflicted with a terminally late gene, she would show up at noon and then proceed to lock herself in the back bedroom and wrap presents for another hour so. This happened every year until I moved out of the house.
When I was 10 years old, I got a "new swimsuit" from my grandmother. It was the ugliest thing, bright pink, blue and green flowers on it and I thought it was a tennis dress because it had the longest skirt and the pointiest bra I had ever seen in it. Needless to say, I never wore it. One year I gave my grandmother a complete makeup ensemble only to get it back the next year. Another year I got a toaster, complete with crumbs. Then I got a salad spinner, dirty and broken. But the most award-winning Christmas present of all was the year all of the grandchildren got padded toilet seats (different colors for each grandchild). The funny thing was most of the grandkids still lived at home, but we each had a padded toilet seat to call our own. Since I was living on my own at that point, and in desperate need of home decor, I ended up hanging mine on the wall with a picture of you know who underneath it. Yes, it finally got to the point where I didn't even bother opening the presents from her, I just took them straight to the dumpster.
-- Kathryn Rich
One year, when my younger brother had no money, he gave everyone in the family an individually wrapped can of Fresca. That was it. No explanations. I thought it was a joke, but he was serious.
-- Heather Rutledge
I was in ninth grade and it was the Christmas after the Summer of Love. The one gift I asked for was the Woodstock album. Under the tree was a present! It was shaped like the Woodstock album! It felt like the Woodstock album! On Christmas morning I opened it with great anticipation. . . . It wasn't the Woodstock album, it was the COWSILLS! (I think my parents saw the naked people on the cover of Woodstock and opted for something more parent-friendly.)
-- Criss East

Read more: http://www.seattlepi.com/lifestyle/article/Grab-your-seat...

I am sorry that you were disappointed and that it keeps coming up. The gift is a reflection on the giver not on you. Christmas gifts have really gotten out of hand. I am trying hard to stop the gift exchange between the adults in our family but old traditions die hard. I've resorted to giving cash and if I receive another nasty fragrance contraption I think I will explode. I've tried to talk to my siblings and jokingly said hey, I'll give you a twenty and you give me a twenty and then we can both go buy what we really want...or not. Just to demonstrate how dumb the whole thing is. Let's just focus on the reason for the season..shall we?