CIO - BABY WISE....looking For Proponents of This Method!

Hi Samantha:

Yes, I'm one of those anti-Babywise people that you asked not to respond, BUT I'm not going to give you a hard time, I promise. Have you looked into "the no cry sleep solution"? I've heard great things from friends who've tried it. Or how about the ferber method instead of BW? Ferber still promotes CIO, but it's just a bit gentler. I think maybe you're letting your son CIO for a little too long - 40 minutes is an eternity to a baby. Maybe instead of just letting him cry, you could go check on him every 5 minutes or so to reassure him; then up that to every 10 minutes the next day, then 15, etc. You know, build him up to it. You don't necessarily have to pick him up (I would, but that's me) heck, you don't even necessarily need him to stop crying; Just give him a quick shush and a pat on the back. The goal is just to make sure he knows that you are there, that he is safe, and that you have't abandoned him. I know you are trying to get away from this so you can look out for your daughter, but I think maybe a slightly slower approach with your son might result in more long term success. As a rule a child your age is a bit too young to self soothe - he just doesn't have the faculties for it yet, but you might be able to jump start the process if you take slowly. If he's a happy boy, you want to keep him that way! Good luck!

Just an observation, if it breaks your heart there may be a reason. I won't debate the issue, but just please keep in mind that it is your maternal instict to go to him for a reason. Not asking you to change, just to be a little more open to other things that have worked for other people. Your baby is still very young to ask him to soothe himself in my opinion. We read Dr. Harvey Karps Happiest Baby on the Block and it was sooooo amazing. You may want to look into other methods. My daughter sleeps like a champ and people are constantly amazed by how secure and happy she is all the time. It won't be forever that he is this young and needs you like he does. Remember only 3 months ago he was constantly comfortable,fed, warm, and had you! I know it is hard and you are probably so tired, but maybe this method is not right for you?? Dr. Karp is also all about a loud environment for a baby and I am sure that would come in handy with a two year old. My daughter sleeps through my two dogs barking right next to her and they are LOUD! LOL As far as the safety of your little one. Maybe you can make your daughter a part of the falling asleep process, say have her "read" him a book. Go with your instinct and whatever you choose mommy, I hope it works out for you. : )

Dear Samantha: I just had my 6th baby and with my first 2 kids I used Babywise and let them CIO. With ensuing children I found it more complicated and grew to hate the whole crying thing. It really bothered me. I tend to be a scheduled kind of person for sanity's sake, and I found Tracey Hogg's book The Baby Whisperer (get the latest version)to be very helpful. It does take awhile to get babies down for their naps, and it sounds like that bothers you regarding your other child. This can be challenging. However, within a week or so of implementing her methods you should see improvement in your baby's ability to put himself to sleep. I don't think he'll remember crying it out, but how about you? Will you remember it with unpleasant memories? I do. I certainly don't mean to be critical - I've been where you're at. Pray about it! Ask the Lord to show you what is best for your son. He will.

I finally had enough, and also decided (after everyone told me to do it!) to let son CIO- so he'd learn to self soothe. I didn't start until 6 months, because I was a wealkling, I guess! Anywho- it was the best thing that we ever did for either of us! We both get awesome sleep now- and have ever since the first couple (three days at most) after implementing CIO. If your baby is developing normally (good weight gain, etc) you 100% do not need to wake baby to eat! He will let you know when he is hungry! I thought dream feeds were the way to go too (wake for last feeding before I go to bed) until I tried not doing that- and he woke at the same time either way! 3.5 months MAY be early to start sleeping through the night- but they usually start at about 4 months according to my pediatrician... Looks like yoru little one is doing great inthat department if he can go from 10:00PM until 6:00AM! As far as when they wake up from naps...I wouldn't let them CIO then. I would give him no more than 5-10 mins just to make sure that he is really awake and not just fussing to get back to sleep. I would go get him, and try again later in about 1.5 hours. Your schedule might change a little veryday depending on when he woke from his last nap! But kinda go with the flow a little, and soon he will have a schedule you can almost set a clock by! I would say that 3 hours of wake time IS too long for a 3.5 month old- my son is 9 months and 3 hours is really strecthing it! Look for the sleepy signs somewhere between 1-2 hours. Make sure you have a good routine for bedtime- ie read one book and wind mobile, say the same thing every single time you leave the room. We worked on naps first then went on the nightime wakings and bedtime. It was HARD don't let anyone tell you it isn't- but once again, it is sooooooo worth it. In a very short time your little (est) one will be getting the zzzz's he needs without any protesting. Good luck. Be strong, you can do it.

I don't have the answer for you, but as you know every child is totally different. I'm still in fantasy land because I have a 17 month old daughter and am days away from delivering baby #2, but this is something I think about every day, since I still put my daughter to be with me and mover her to her own bed after she is asleep. I don't have the perfect solution, but I wasn't able to stick with the CIO methods, we only tried it 2 nights and gave it up, so you are stronger than I am. My only question is can he fall asleep in some place other than his crib, like in a swing or bouncer? I remember reading (I researched everhting before my first was born) that is it important to get babies to sleep in several different places so they don't get so fixed only only falling asleep in their beds. I know this is only practical for nap time and not bedtime, but since that is currently your problem, maybe you can try that? Good luck though I know CIO method is a last resort, but if you don't feel like it is working, use your instincts and get creative!

Check out www.sleeplady.com, her book and methods are great. Also, check out www.askdrsears.com they have a lot of info. on most issues.
The only thing I'm going to say is that it usually is not recommended to use CIO method on infants younger than 6 mo's. It creates mistrust, anxiety, etc. If you must use it, then short periods at a time. Good luck.

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