I remember doing the CIO with my now 2 1/2 year old daughter-- started when she was about 6months. I wouldn't let her go any longer than 15 minutes, and she never did! She was always out in less than 10-15 minutes. Only took about a week too-- and I always made sure before putting her down, that she was fed, changed and no other problems...
Now, with my soon to be 7 month old boy, I'm afraid I have already missed the opportunity to sleep train, or to allow him to be a good sleeper. My daughter didn't start teething until she was 9 months (and it never even bothered her!) While my son started teething at 5 months and got both bottom teeth at the same time (5 1/2 months) He had a very tough time with it-- not sleeping through night, etc.
Many nights I would just let him co-sleep with us rather than having to run back to his crib every 1.5 hours to get him and soothe him!
Now, he won't sleep in his own crib! I try putting him in fully asleep, and have also tried putting him in only half asleep (sort of dazed) either way, he ends up crying on the spot, or waiting about 20-30 minutes before he fully wakes up and then starts in crying... it then goes to a very throaty scream/cry... I haven't let him go past 20 minutes yet-- my heart can't bear it, but I know he would!
My question is, I know you can't sleep train in one day, but how long do you let them CIO the first few nights? When I go in after 15-20 min to check on him, I dont' pick him up, just reassure him i'm there, but once I leave he starts crying again... and then we're back to where we started!! How many times do I do this withought just giving up? If I do it all night then NONE of us will get any sleep! I've never had a baby who wouldn't just "conk" out from sleep exhaustion after 20 minutes... but he keeps going and going and going!!!
what to do??
**yes I know not everyone agrees with the CIO method, but we did do it with my daughter at what I felt was an appropriate age, and she still sleeps like an angel to this day!
Never in my opinion..
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/science-says-...
Try Elizabeth Pantleys...No Cry Sleep Solution.
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php?ni...
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php?ni...
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php?ni...
Hi, M.. This is a tough one because there are so many possibilities of why things aren't going the way they did with your daughter. And you are probably exhausted, frustrated, and feeling near the end of your rope.
Rather then just coming up with an amount of time, I wonder whether it would be helpful to do a little problem-solving. You mention a few things that are different between your son and your daughter. Are there any other differences between them? Their general activity level? Their sleep cycle? Possible allergic responses (skin rashes)? Sensitivity to amount of activity (too much or too little)? How much one-on-one, undivided attention they got at the same age, especially just before bed? I think there are lots of questions to ask before deciding what might help. More than I've already mentioned. Can you step back (or have someone help you step back) to look at the whole picture? You probably would need to do this at some point when you've had a decent rest and have a clear-ish mind. I'd be happy to talk together, if you'd like. Just send me a message if you're interested. Best wishes.
I used the Baby Whisperer method with my son at 6 months. Worked great.
I would start by examining what you mean when you say "CIO". Technically, I am not sure there IS a method called CIO. That is sort of a slang for the Ferber Method, and I think that a lot of people think it means one thing and really it means something else. So, perhaps if you clarify what exactly you are doing it would help us to help you.
With Ferber, you do not just put them in bed and leave them to check back in 10-15 minutes. And then at 15 minute intervals. No. What you do is put them in bed and check back at increasingly long intervals up to a limit (like 15 minutes). So, put them in bed, check in 5 minutes, leave. Check in 7 minutes, leave. Check in 10 minutes, leave. Check in 12 minutes, leave etc.. until you reach 15 minutes. If the child is still not asleep, you continue checking at 15 minute intervals.... and yes.... all night if necessary.
This is why it is often recommended to begin this on a night when you don't need to be up the next day fully functioning, so a Friday night for most people. The 2nd night should be much better. And usually by the 3rd night, the little ones are asleep before the first 15 minutes is up.
It almost seems to me that you are changing too much at once, though. If he has essentially been co-sleeping with you, trying to get him to go to sleep alone AND stay in bed alone all night, seems like a lot of change all at once. I have never tackled that myself, so perhaps other moms on here can suggest whether it might be better to address them one at a time, rather than just doing it all at once, or not.
If you did this with him last night, then tonight should be better.
When my son was 6 months we started doing the CIO. He would cry about 45 minutes before settling down but then it was shorter and shorter every night after that. I put him down awake and just went and watched TV with the volume up loud so I didn't cry. It was way harder on me than on him. If he cried until 45 minutes - and didn't sound like he was slowing down at all - I would go in pat him on the back etc just to let him know i was there. Or if he was really upset hold him for a couple minutes until he calmed down and then put him back down. Usually by that time he was so tired from all his crying he would be out within the next 10 minutes. A couple of my mommy friend did have babies that would cry for 2 rounds of 45 minutes (1.5 hours total) before going to sleep. But their babies were generally grumpy babies that cried more than usual in the first place due to reflux or colic. Stick it out - it is way harder on you than it is on your baby.
Hi, M.:
Is he still cutting teeth?
Get a RX for Hurricaine gel to put on his gums.
If he is not cutting teeth, don't bother him to let
him know you are in the room. Let him cry himself
to sleep.
Make sure he is not teething.
Good luck.
D.
No, it's not too late. Stick to your guns. You and he will both sleep better because of it. I'm a firm believer in CIO, it works, and it really makes the quality of life better for parent & child. And, when done appropriately, it is not harmful.
I think you're doing a great job. Just keep sticking to your guns and don't give in. Check on him every 20 minutes or so, but eventually, he WILL fall asleep. And he WILL get the point that you're not going to pick him up. Unless you do. Then he gets the message that throwing a fit for an hour until you pick him up is the way to go.
I just sleep trained my 10 month old last week and he's been sleeping through the night ever since. Granted he's waking up at 6 am so now I'm not so sure it'was worth it. But I digress.
I read the VERY short book 5 Days to a Perfect Night's Sleep by Eduard Estivill to do it, it's very much like the Ferber method. The first night when he woke up I went in, reassured him by placing my hand on him and talking to him then left, returning after 1 min. Then go back in do the same thing, leave returning after 3 min. Go back in, same thing, return after 5 min. Then return every 5 min until they fall asleep. It took him an hour to fall asleep the first time. He woke up again 3 hours later, did the same thing and it took 15 minutes. I was supposed to do the same thing the next night (and each night after for 5+ days) but extend the time to 3; 5; 8 min, but he didn't wake up and has been sleeping ever since. There's a bit more to it than just letting them CIO, including having a routine for bed time and all that, but I would recommend this book as a great starting point and you have to follow through and not give up or it could be worse.
BTW, the No Cry Sleep Solution and Babywise did NOT work for my little one, he has been attached to me since he was conceived and made it difficult to transition without crying.
You CAN sleep train him at this age. It's not too late! My last baby was a TERRIBLE sleeper. Horrible. What FINALLY started working was getting him on an evening schedule. Actually, scheduling all day works.
I would try to feed him breakfast, lunch and dinner within 15-20 minutes of the same time every day. Yes somedays it doesn't work, but you try. Same thing with naps.
Then in the evenings do dinner time, a nice warm bath. Massage him w/ baby lotion put on his p.j.'s then read him a book, maybe rock him a little bit then put him to bed. Same time every day. The first time he cries wait about 5-10 minutes pick him reassure him say it's time for bed. Lay him down, and if he cries again wait 5 minutes longer, but next time don't pick him up. Rub his back, reassure then leave. Next time, say nothing just a pat on the back give him his binkie or whatever. Add 5-10 minutes every time. It will be exhasuting for a couple nights, but eventually he'll get it.
You can also try soothing music, a sound machine or run a cool mist vaporizor. The sound is soothing and helps keep their noses and mouths from drying up.
Hang in there!
Hi M.,
I had a similar situation with my 2nd child and ended up having almost immediate success with the book The Sleepeasy Solution. It was a variation of the CIO method b/c you check back in on the child at regular intervals. I'll admit, the first night I ended up just staying up all night b/c I had to do the checking pretty much ALL NIGHT, but the 2nd night she fell asleep after about an hour or two, and by the third night, she was sleeping soundly! I would try it the night before a weekend or a day when someone can be up with your children during the day and you can sleep! Good luck!
Please read Tracy Hogg's The Baby Whisperer Solves All your problems.....modifies CIO for the faint of heart who want to do CIO but will not let their child scream their lungs out for hours, or cry so hard that they throw up or fall asleep crying as they are hanging on the crib rails......... I couldn't do the full on CIO with our child since I am not up with walking out on a crying child who need you most at the time to help him figure out how to soothe himself. But our LO is sooooo strong willed and this method with some modifications worked great for us......Good Luck!
I did it with my kids at 6 months, and the longest one took over an hour. It only took two or three nights of CIO, and they were all sleeping through the night. So 20 mins. would not have been long enough in my kids' case. It does hurt your heart, but the sleep you get after a couple of nights is worth it. :)
Babies are smart cookies and stubborn. Stick to your guns. As long as you know that your child is well fed, not sitting in a dirty diaper, etc. then he is fine. My son went on and on for about 45 min. when we first started but within about 3 days he was down to fussing, not really crying anymore for about 10 or 15 min. Eventually he didn't fuss at all.
It will work, you've done it with your first one so you know.
Good Luck.
M
