Crying It Out to Sleep??

Personally, I hate CIO. Is there a gentler method you could try?

It takes a little time, but the "No Cry Sleep Solution" is really well-regarded, especially among AP parents. I think the "Baby Whisperer" stuff is pretty gentle, as well.

I just don't like the abandonment and the feeling of fear/isolation that CIO requires, especially when it's taking kids an hour to scream themselves to sleep. At 16-17 months, a kiddo has a lot of brainpower and emotion, and it hurts my heart to think about what thoughts/feelings they have in that hour, simply because their parents demand they fall asleep on their own. Yeah, a kiddo has done it before; but something changed in their psyche and now they have a hard time with it.

Just my two cents' worth. I've deal with crappy sleep for almost 21 months now, without doing CIO. We're talking 1-2 hours of nighttime rigmarole before the little one falls asleep. And she will fall asleep, on her own, in 5 minutes at daycare. It's frustrating, yeah, but I'd rather support and nurture her through the rough patches than ditch her to scream herself into exhaustion ...

Well I know it is really rough to hear them cry. One thing I did recently was added a blankie and a couple small stuffed animals to our night time ritual. Maybe something comforting in the crib would help some, you know something he could hug that isn't big enough to help him escape the crib! It is hard a this age because they just aren't quite big enough to be reasoned with. I know what you mean about making it worse by going in, it was always that way with me. I say just hang in there, I think if he was sleeping good in there before, he will again, just give it some time. In the future you might want to consider letting him sleep in his crib even when sick and just checking on him so as not to disturb the routine. I have never had my son sleep with us, even when sick. I just check him through the night. He has always done fine with that. Best wishes, I know this is hard on your guys!

Oh, I feel for you all! We used the Ferber method with our daughter. She was about 9-10 months old when I finally decided that rocking her to sleep every night was NOT working (I'd spend up to 2 1/2 hrs rocking her). It wasn't easy, and because we live in an apartment, I had to warn all of our neighbors, but after a few days, she was falling asleep on her own. I learned the difference between her 'something is wrong' cry and her 'I want my momma' cry so when she woke up in the middle of the night, but I'd let her cry herself back to sleep. I will add that she never was one to cry so hard that she'd hold her breath or anything like that. Good luck!

I feel your pain mom and dad. We have tried so many things with our little ones.... each child is so different so you can only decide what is best for your baby. I felt so bad letting them cry to sleep , that I would go every few minutes and assure them mommy or daddy was there, we did not pick them up though, we'd say "you are good baby boy, you can do it, its going to be ok". we would also leave the door open, play some music, leave the light on, turn it off, have a small light, give the a bottle to keep with them on the crib. Just be patient as long as you have control of the situation, even thought he is crying you make the decision and let him know what is going to happen at all times....
With time he will get used to sleeping on his own again..

I did CIO when my daughter was 10 months old. The first night she cried for an 1 1/2 hours when she went to bed and for another 1 1/2 hours in the middle of the night (~2 am). I would go in after 5 min, then 8 min, then 10 min, then 15 minutes until she fell asleep. It felt horrible!! The second night she cried for 1 1/2 hours and then 30 minutes. The third night she cried for 30 min and no at all in the middle of the night - by the forth night we had no crying. My understanding is that it can take up to 10 days to "work" if it is going to work at all. I have read that some children will never respond to CIO. Read the Ferber book - the recent one which has been updated significantly. and it gives good instructions... Good luck!!

I see you have some responses already. Personally, I do not like the CIO method at all. I wouldn't say I've been perfect but the once or twice I did use that method had me feeling so horrible with myself afterward.

Dr Sears' has a very nice method that I used. I don't remember what he called it but it is under Attachment Style Parenting category.

I can send you more details, if you want, just send me a personal message.

Best wishes for your family.

The CIO method can take many nights. The secret is to not back down. You will lose sleep for many nights, but if you do not back down he will get it. Yes, it can take up to a week. It is easiest if you could have started this on a friday night, but since you did it at the beginning, I am sure you guys are all exhausted. Just stay determined.

I never did the CIO. I just tried to set it up so that my child was so tired at night and had a soothing bath and bedtime routine that she practically begged to go to sleep.

I feel your pain! Please read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. This book made me feel a lot better about using the CIO method. It may take a few days, but eventually your little guy will "learn" how to sleep on his own again. You are not being cruel by letting him "learn" to sleep, in fact you are doing him a favor by allowing him to learn to sleep and sleep well. Every baby is different, so yes, your little guy might take an hour where as others only cry for 15 minutes. My son is the 1 hour baby, no always but sometimes. You mustn't set a time limit or he'll learn that if he cries for an hour you'll come get him. It is really tough, I know, but hang in there!

Since he was sleeping in his crib before he was sick, without a problem, you know this is possible again. him being sick broke the routine, but there is hope. When you put him in his crib, do not go back in his room to soothe him, every time you go back in his room he gets the message that you will come get him (&perhaps let him sleep in your bed) .. if he just cries long enough. If you will just leave him in his crib and not go back in, he gets the message that it is time to go to bed and no amount of crying will change this. (You being his mom -- should be able to tell the difference between a 'I am hurt cry' and a regular cry. If he is truly hurt, by all means go to him, but if he is just crying to go his way (to get in bed with you)then let him cry it out (unless you want this pattern established in your household.. meaning very little personal time for you and your hubby).