Cry It Out - Lima,OH

I'll say this much, 8 kids and not a single one has ever been left to CIO. All are pretty good sleepers, all have their own beds and unless sick stay in them...well most of the time. If I said what I really think about CIO..I might get kicked off the site.

I was actually jealous of the moms who could do the cry it out method.
For me, it wasn't so much about "oh, I can't stand to hear my baby suffer" as "holy sh*t that sounds like nails on a chalkboard and I need to go the f*ck to sleep!"
I was lucky that my husband felt the same way.
Baby started the night in crib, once s/he woke up to feed, was in bed with us the rest of the night.
No sleeping problems, no fear of going to bed, no problem transitioning to a real bed (starting at 18 months or so) all with three very different kids.
I'm kinda glad I had babies before all the "wonderful" parenting advice was available on the internet, I was able to just follow my gut LOL!!!

I am fully against CIO period. I don't think it is beneficial to the baby, it is beneficial to the parent, for convenience. In my opinion it is cruel and it doesn't teach the baby how to self-soothe, it teaches them that their cries will go unanswered and they learn to shut down emotionally and then physically thus learning to be quiet and go to sleep. They learn that no one will come and pick them up and comfort them. Babies way of communicating their needs are through different cries. If you meet a baby's need each time, they learn to trust, to bond and eventually self-independence at the right age and time. Forcing a baby to be independent from his/her mother early on is too soon- and in my opinion very harmful. If you want more information or research on this topic, go to drmomma.org, badassbreastfeeder.com, and attachmentparenting websites.

I am also in the camp that feels that setting your baby off to sleep in their own room right off the bat is harmful and not best for baby. If you look at other countries, most co-sleep. Its good for baby, M. and family. Just my 2cents, but you asked!!!! :)

In your case, I would suggest doing a sidecar crib to your bed and let her co-sleep with you. You both will get more rest and you can calm her immediately. If you want more suggestions, pm me and I will tell you more. Good luck~

I don't like how the the non CIO people seem to think that CIO means you ignore your child and let them scream. That's not it at all, that's just what the Attachment Parenting and other similar parenting styles would like you to think.

In fact, here is a study done on CIO that shows that there is NO DIFFERENCE between a baby that was CIO and baby that was soothed to sleep a different way. http://abcnews.go.com/m/story?id=17197389 Both types of children grow up to be healthy and "normal."

I think you should study different methods and find the one that you're comfortable with. Every family is different, every child is different.

I teach children and I can't tell which ones were CIO and which ones were Attachment Parented. Like I've mentioned to my friend, children may grow up to be JUST LIKE how you parented them to be, or DIFFERENT. My friend's M. was not nurturing, so she is trying to be a very nurturing M.. I pointed out that she was not nurtured as a baby, and grew up to be very nurturing herself. So she became a certain way IN SPITE OF how she was raised.

I don't think we should go around criticizing other moms and the methods they choose (not that any of YOU were, but I know moms that do). I don't think we should fear trying different methods either for fear of "harming" our children. If you're feeding them, loving them and attending to them then you're doing a great job.

Read a book on CIO. See if you agree with it. Try it out. It shouldn't matter what WE think about it! YOU are the one who is raising your child, you are the only one who has to be comfortable with it (and your child of course).

Good luck!

When a baby cries, it is because they have a need that is not being met, and no other way to make it known. That need may be for a clean diaper, nourishment, or the smell of her mother's skin, but it is a need nonetheless.
When my child cried, I went to her and met her needs.

I dont usually answer this question because it is such a volatile, crazy question.
In my experience while raising my kids, I never let them cry it out unless I just had to... meaning if I was too sick or too tired .... which means, well, I NEVER let them cry it out. I let them fall asleep on me, sleep with me, or do whatever I needed to do so dad and I could get a good nights sleep.
Letting a baby scream and cry is just wrong in my book. If they will rest and sleep WITH you, let them do that. If they are going to cry whether you are holding them or not, THEN go ahead and let them cry in their crib.
That's my suggestion.

If you want to teach your baby that when she cries, no one will come then cry it out is the technique. Not what I would ever want my child to learn. Pre verbal babies and children communicate their needs by crying- they have no other 'acceptable' methods.

ETA - My son slept through the night on his own without crying or any sort of 'sleep training' at 16 weeks.

My sister told me to let my new baby cry it out. I did. Pretty shortly after he was born because she had already had two before me. When I couldn't stand it any longer I ran into the bedroom and my precious baby had wet all over himself. I never let him cry it out again. I still remember that and he is almost twenty eight.

The idea that my baby would eventually decide that I was never coming back and give up crying for me breaks my heart. I don't have a problem with anyone else doing it, I just can't do it myself. I also let the dogs on the couch when they give me sad looks, so maybe I'm not the strongest at refusing to cuddle in general.

I did CIO with my DD when she was 5 mos.
Full CIO...as in, close the door and don't go back in until morning.
Neither of my kids ever responded to the "go in and pat" approach...it just upset them more.

Night #1: She cried 3 separate times for 30 minutes each.
Night #2: Exact same thing
Night #3...and every night since then (she's now 2.5)...not a peep out of her! :)

I should mention that she is a totally independent and happy little girl.
Best. Decision. Ever.

I have a friend who had 4 kids and all 4 of them had different sleep styles/cycles. I couldn't do cry it out. I've heard of books like the No Cry Sleep Solution. I'd rather go that way then CIO.

CIO doesn't work for all babies. My son is very stubborn and he would cry as long as it took! Yep, I'm talking about whole nights.
We tried at 6, 12, and 18 months and all we got was an over tired off schedule bebe. Finally at age 2 he gave up napping and by the time bedtime came around he was too tired to fight being put in his own bed.
My advice for anyone considering it is to decide ahead of time how far you're willing to take it.
It sounds to me like you have a good sleeper who is occasionally upset by teething or gas etc.

We did it with my first at around 5 or 6 months. Soooo hard (on us, the parents), but dd did fine. And now she's a great little sleeper.

Tried it (kind of) with our second. We weren't consistent and had the first to deal with, so it didn't go well, and we didn't follow through. To this day (at 3yo) our second has a really hard time turning it off and going to sleep.

If you think YOU can handle it, try it. It's not for everyone (or every kid), though.

Sometimes what baby "wants" isn't what baby "needs" it's up to M. to decide when it's a "need" or a "want". Of course you never just let the baby cry for hours on end, but some times you have to use your judgement. If baby's been feed, cuddled, changed and laid down then it's sleep time. I let my 2 month old cry a bit sometimes, sometimes I need to do some things before I can go to him. He's not happy, but he's not in any danger. The CIO method isn't as cruel as it may sound. With my daughter I never just let her scream the farthest I was ever from her was on the other side of her door. Even then I was speaking to her, letting her know I was there but that it wasn't time to be awake. I would not do that with my son right now, he's too young, when he is older I will. When will he be old enough? For me, for us, we shall have to see, so far he's a pretty good sleeper.

CIO isn't for everyone, it's hard listening to your baby cry, specially as a breast feeding M., he starts crying and I start leaking. But there's just times and are going to be more times when I just can't get to him the instant he squeaks, especially with a 6 year old to take care of too.

If you can't get to your daughter on her crying nights, at least talk to her until you can get to her. She may not understand your words but she can understand your tone. If she's had her needs tended to then she's fine, on her crying nights work slowly, go in at first pick her up give her a cuddle till she calms, then leave, if she wakes again go in and pat her on the back and talk to her, the next time just stand close and talk, I sang. Little by little she'll catch on.

Good luck.

My kids all cried it out, but it wasn't bad. The secret is that they are FULL!!!! As in, you feed them to FULL capacity ALL DAY LONG so they sleep through the night. This is possible by 3 months (as I learned from a mother of ten). We did a routine. They were full and tired, then they were put nicely to bed with story or whatever and that was that. We walked away. Sometimes they cried a bit. Sometimes not. We did NOT train them to scream until we came into the room by coming into the room, so they never thought of endless screaming as an option. Sleep time was sleep time. Again, an endlessly screaming baby is probably not well-fed enough.

I didn't do full CIO with either of my kids, but with my first, there was no 'comforting' him (he was just angry, ALL the time), so sometimes there was no other choice. In my opinion, sometimes kids just cry, and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't believe that all crying is bad, and I don't believe that by letting a child cry that you are "teaching him you won't meet his needs." I think whatever method you choose to use to survive (because basically, you're just trying to find a way to get through, and it is hard!!), you just have to be consistent if you expect results.

Letting them full on cry I am against, but a modified version can be good. With my boys I would put them to bed awake and let them fall asleep on their own. I would allow them to light cry or fuss for up to 5 minutes at a time, and then I would go in a sooth but without picking them up, just massaging them and singing. Once they were calm I would leave and if they started to fuss I would give them another 5 minutes. I never had to go in a second time, they would always be asleep within 2-3.

I successfully used CIO with my kids, but I think they were a little older than 6 months. And you don't just plop them in the crib and never return. You go back and check on them when they first begin to cry to make sure they aren't wet or anything else. Then you quickly comfort them and leave. If they continue to cry, wait a longer period before going back in, make your check-in even more quick, perhaps no picking up this time, just a little look or comforting words, and then leave. And repeat this process - longer wait time before going back in and then not going all the way over to the crib. It's a long process and doesn't work for all kids, but I think it's worth trying if you learn about the process and do it correctly.

I did it when my son was 10mo old. He had been a pretty good sleeper as a younger baby - I nursed him to sleep. Then at around 9 mo, he started taking forever to go to sleep, wouldn't go to sleep while nursing anymore and would cry if I put him in his crib awake. I resorted to rocking the stroller back and forth to get him to sleep and sometimes it would take 30 min or more. Finally, after about a month of that I tried cry it out method. It was so hard. The first night he cried for almost an hour (off and on) and I cried too! The 2nd night was barely 30 min, the 3rd was like 15min and then after that it was never more than 5 min of slight whining. Did it work for me - I'd say yes it did, very well. But I also wish that he could've learned how to fall asleep on his own before this method was needed. I probably shouldn't have been always nursing him to sleep and then putting him in his crib. Maybe I should've been waking him back up after nursing??? I don't know. But 2nd baby girl just always slept good! :)

Not cry it out, but Ferber worked.