CIO Or Not to CIO for 10 Month Old?

Updated on May 22, 2008
C.C. asks from Palmdale, CA
5 answers

Hi Moms,

My 10 month old daughter used to be good at falling asleep. She'd settle to sleep when put down in her crib after nursing without any problems. For about the past week, though, she seems to wake the instant her body hits the mattress, crying. My hubby and I are definitely more into attachment parenting, but often she squirms and pushes us away when we try to hold her to help her to sleep after trying to put her in her crib. She will definitely fall asleep if I nurse her, though, and she will consistently sleep for a good stretch at night (6-8 hours, total 10-11 hours).

This isn't much of a problem at night when both of us are home, and my husband is able to keep our toddler busy when I'm trying to get her down. The problem I run into is during the day when I'm at home alone with the kids. My toddler son obviously doesn't have much of an attention span, so keeping him quiet while I get the baby down is often a tall order. He has learned to be quiet while I nurse, but when he sees me just holding the baby (waiting for her to fall into a deeper sleep) he wants to talk or tries to get me to leave the baby's room to do something.

I'm tempted to let her CIO/Ferberize because otherwise I'm worried her sleep will forever be disturbed by her brother. I'm looking for what's worked for other moms who might have faced a similar situation. Does CIO work for naps? It would seem harder for a baby to settle herself for a nap vs. at bedtime, I would think. Is it bad to let her CIO for naps but "baby" her a little more at night?

Thanks for your ideas!

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So What Happened?

Thanks all for your replies. I got quite a spectrum, and they all helped shed light on what might be going on.

Yesterday my daughter woke up from her afternoon nap with signs of a cold - congestion, coughing, crankiness. I'm figuring she might have been coming down with something, or else nursing a sinus infection. I'm taking her to the doctor today. We'll see if clearing this up helps with her sleep issues.

More Answers

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't believe in CIO. And you yourself said that you and your husband are more into attachment parenting. If you truly believe the emotional, physical, and psychological effects of CIO vs attachment parenting, then I think you have your answer.

At 10 months, she's probably developing separation anxiety. How more of an appropriate to make her feel more secure by being there for her when she is feeling abandoned (basic developmental psych). There is a reason why CIO does work, I wouldn't agree that it's a healthy one though.

I have 3 kids. My husband and I raised them to go with the flow. With #2 & 3 I used a sling to carry them around more. Since there was more to get done, and others to care for, I needed a way to be able to care for them as well as getting things around the house done too.

a few brands are lucky baby, peanut shell, ultimate baby wrap, baby ergo, hot sling, etc.

hang in there and go with your instincts.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am an attachment mama and I used this method to help teach my son to sleep through the night. http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

It worked like a charm and is attachment friendly. As suggested, I waited until my son was 12 mo. old, but I wish I had done it earlier.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi C.:
First, May I suggest, that you take the time, to research what the majority of professionals feel about the CIO method.They make A hell of alot more sense than some of these fools,that write just to sell their theories,and some hard-covers,to unknowing young mothers.You know C.,you could take care of two problems with one gesture. Your toddler,won't feel neglected,when your spending time with the baby,and your baby will sleep like a log. All you have to do, is keep the noise level at the norm.Don't shhhh your toddler. Allow the baby to get accustom to all the regular noise around her.She will actually be soothed by the normal casual sounds of his little voice,and you and your husbands voice.If you vacumed while she was sleeping,she'd grow accustomed to that believe it or not.If you make everyone speak at a whisper,keep everyone,and everything at a low key,then that is what she will get use to, and the first time someone sneezes,she'll pop up!When you brought your baby girl home, she was suppose to get accustom to her new home, not the other way around.Wouldn't you get a little frustrated, if you were a toddler and because of the new arrival of your little sister, you had to change your way of talking,or playing? She was always the reason, why you got the "Be quiet" I'm not suggesting that your snapping at your son, but i'm just trying to look at it from a childs point of view.I wish you the best.

S.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Get this book: "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." It works really well. Don't use CIO; go with your instincts. Good luck.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son resists being held when he's tired (he was doing that at a pretty young age too, arching his back and stuff) and when that happens I know he's ready to go in his crib. At almost 16 months old, he still often "cries" when put down, but falls asleep on his own fairly easily (his crying is more like a talking moaning that he does to self-soothe). I used to often use the Ferber method which was less stress on me than CIO (put him down, wait five minutes, if still crying go in to soothe for a couple of minutes without picking up [unless he's had a BM] and repeat, extending the time an extra five minutes each time). Now that he's older it almost disturbs him more than helps him so I only go in there if his little moan turns into an insistent cry. Honestly, letting her learn to fall asleep on her own is not a bad thing. Just do what works best for you and your family.

P.S. I just read the link from the first post and I like the idea of his plan... all except for the family bed thing! *laugh* I tried that from the beginning but all that happened was everyone was getting less and more disturbed sleep, including my son. He moved around like he owned the place and I always ended up scrunched up trying not to fall off the side. When he was sleeping I didn't want to roll over and disturb him so I would get really uncomfortable in one position. We stopped that pretty quickly and we are happy to have a son that sleeps 12+ hours straight at night IN HIS OWN BED. Hey, let's not forget co-sleeping also cuts into your private place for you and your husband. Talk about birth control!

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