Cleaning After Pooping

Does this boy have a father in the home? If not do you have a male relative or friend who might be able to help?

I don't think time out is a solution. Many grown men are not so good with cleaning their butts well.....ask a lot of women who do their laundry.

Nonchalantly let him know that you left some wet wipes (like for baby's
diaper clean-ups) on the counter by the toilet.

Be sure to let him know they are to help all of you wipe after going #2 and
they go in the garbage can afterwards. Not the toilet.

Don't punish him in any way. That doesn't work. Shaming him is unhealthy. Just try and "guide" him. You can do it in a kind way that isn't obvious. Believe me, if you tried to tell me how to wipe my butt, I would be so embarassed. And I mean as a child. It'll happen. You'll get there.

Another helpful hint in telling him how to wipe successfully is to tell him the code: brown, brown, tan, tan, white,white. It's gross but then you know you got your butt clean.

Punishing doesn't fix potty-related issues. He's 9, you have to let it go and make sure he understands that not wiping could lead to peer issues and if it's really bad, it CAN lead to a urinary tract infection. But the skid marks are normal for this age, especially boys. I know it's frustrating, but they just don't care until they care. Really, this is not something you can fix, short of mortifying him and wiping for him after he goes, which I do not suggest. He is, however, old enough to wash his own laundry. So, if you don't want to wash his underwear because of the streaks, teach him to use the washing machine and make him wash his own clothes, or at least his own underwear. That's a natural consequence, and much better than a punishment.

This is so normal! Not a medical condition or any other condition except that he's 9 years old and doesn't see the importance of careful wiping. Or he has a deep crack and can't get deep enough to get the crud. I would just let it go. He'll get the hang of it eventually. It's certainly not something to punish him for.

The reason we wipe is so that we smell good and we keep our underwear clean. Not wiping is not dangerous to our health.

Because you've been punishing him you may be in a power struggle with him. You get irritated/angry and he, unconsciously doesn't do as you demand. There are so few things that children can actually have control over.

My grandson didn't wipe and I bought Kando moist wipes for him. They came in a plastic container with pop up moist wipes. He did like to use those. This brand is by Pampers but I think that there are now other brands for children available.

The moist wipes are much more comfortable to use. Tissue is dry and can irritate.

We already have the germs that are in our poop in our body. Putting your fingers in your mouth after touching your own poop will not make you sick. Dawn, I really liked the rest of your post.

Added - I just realized what your "name" here is - oh my heavens! I wonder if anyone else realized it! You have a funny sense of humor!

Original:
Sounds like you find skid marks in his underwear.

Get some wipes and put them beside the toilet. Tell him to use them. Make SURE these are the kind of wipes that are biodisposable and can be put in the toilet.

Does his rearend ever get sore? My younger son had trouble with that, and he was trying to get clean. He just wasn't getting it "right". He'd clog up the toilet using so much toilet paper. The wipes were my solution, and making him learn how to use a plunger.

When he'd get sore and red, I gave him Desitin. He didn't like having to use it, but it would help. Between these 3 things, he finally learned how to clean properly.

I would not take your son's toys away over this. I would not shame him. I would talk to him about smells and stains and red butts causing itching and that if he scratches and doesn't wash well, and then puts his fingers in his mouth, that he can get very sick.

Good luck,
Dawn

Does he not wipe at all, or just not wipe thoroughly? Have you told him to keep wiping until the paper comes away clean? Have you tried wet wipes? I know my seven year old has the odd skid mark from time to time, but I think he sometimes is just rushing in the bathroom and doesn't do a great job.

I think that peer pressure is the best thing here. I would totally leave it alone. A friend telling him he smells like poop is going to make so much more difference to him than any amount of work you do.

Peer pressure or him getting sores on his butt from not wiping. These are teaching things that would change him, time out has no connection to wiping his hiney. That's not a natural consequence.

This is not a medical condition. Do not punish him for it, it isn't healthy for him later in life. Teach him to do it and explain what to do and why he needs to do it. No yelling or punishing. Get him some biodisposable wipes, or have his dad or a male relative handle the bathroom runs. Doesn't he already suffer from soreness or itchiness because he doesn't wipe?

Don't add any consequences. Get him the toddler wipes. Wipe, look, drop, wipe, look, drop. Do this until when you look, the wipe is clean. He could wash his own laundry if you really felt you needed to *do* something more about it.

I have a friend who threatened to take her son's stained underwear to school and show it to his whole class. She said it worked, I'm not sure if he was 100% after that but it definitely got better.

All 9 yr old boys have trouble with this!!! That's why themwhole "skid marks" in the underwear is a running joke. Punishing him for it? Taking away toys? Good grief lady!!! You need to lessen your grip! Poor kid! I can't imagine how hard it must be to have a mother so controlling that I'd have to pass a butt/underwear inspection! Do you think he is doing it on purpose? Of course not! How cruel to humiliate and punish him for it!!! That is a self-esteem crusher. All boys have this problem, they outgrow it, same as bed wetting. By him the flush able moist wipes, that helps tremendously, only needs one or 2, make sure he bathes/showers every night and cleans down there with a nicely scented soap, and leave him alone!!! This child needs to grow to be a man and the way you ate micro managing him will keep him an emotional toddler. My sons have been washing themselves and dressing themselves, wiping the toilet seat, and cleaning their rooms since 3 yrs, now that they are older, they wake themselves for school in morning, fix their own breakfast, are in control of their own homework and study time and do it all very well. They take pride in this. I am a stay at home mom, but I am raising these boys to be men, so are you. Perhaps I am to harsh and you have good intentions and just going about it all wrong. I say this with love, for your son....don't punish him and shame him for this... No 9yr old deliberately wants poo crusted on their bum. You will crush his little heart punishing him. Give him the wipes, if u don't want to flush them he can put them in the wastebasket. Give gim some nice soaps and loofahs for the evening bathing, and tell him how much you love him and how proud you are of him, and apologize to him. Our children need to know that we can say sorry when we are wrong. Best of luck mom.

Have you tried putting wet wipes in his bathroom? They clean better than dry tissue.

Is he fat? I only ask because he may have trouble just reaching the area.

I saw an ad in the paper for toilet seats that will squirt water on your bottom to clean the area. It is for people who can't reach for some reason or another. There are many.