Co-sleeping

I have to say I totally understand where you are coming from. Especially being the single mother of the infant. I would get so much advice it would drive me crazy! it's like the flld gates open when you have a child! it does get better, but even at 2 people want to tell you how you should discipline, teach, etc. your child. Do you live with your mother? that's what was hardest for me. I knew she was there to help and support me, but always telling me things I could/should be doing starting to make me feel inadequate. just do what feels natural to you and you'll be fine. listen too, she does have some good ideas, but if they sound crazy, follow your own heart. I slept with my daughter until she was 4 months and so many people told me sleeping with your child was bad. I disagree. it works for some and not others, simple as that. just follow your own instincts and you'll both be great.

Hi K.,
I think you are doing whats right for your baby. Don't listen to your mom. She parented many years ago. My mom gave me advise and told me things I should/should not be doing. I'm nice about it but I do things my own way. Your the mommy. I myself never breastfed my three kids. I don't know, it just wasnt my thing. My three kids are still very healthy, active kids. But it's everyones personal choice. If your moms "you'll see" comment is about saggy boobs, you get those wether you breast feed or not! And I personally think Co Sleeping is the best. We did it/ are doing it, with all three of our children. It is hard to get them into their own bed (my four year old still climbs into bed with us now and again) But I still have no regrets. It's nice to fall asleep cuddeling your children and how long will they want to be cuddled anyway?? And I always felt a little safer with us all in one bed. And you are absolutly right they sleep MUCH better with you. I feel co-sleeping has given us a huge bond with the kids. We are a very close and loving family. My four year old boy and two year old boy hug us at least five times a day and constantly tell us they love us. The only down fall for me is not enough alone time with my husband, but we find the time. My husband loves co sleeping too. You do whats best for your child. You are in a hard situation. All moms like to give advice and tell you what they think you should be doing. It must be so much worse when you have to live with her also. Just be nice about it but do things your own way. You are the mommy! I know it's hard when she is being critical, and you don't want to hurt her feelings either. But remember she had an infant over 20 years ago, things have changed. What was right for her generation isnt neccasarily whats "right". I have parent issues too. I am 27 and I have finally come to the realization that this is MY life, MY kids, I will do things MY way and try not to let my parents get to me. I have more confidence now and they seem to get that and have backed off a lot. I'm close to my parents but the kind of try to run your life sometimes (expecially if your living with them) Just stay strong and do things your own way. If I were you I would continue to Co sleep until your child shows interest in his own room/bed when he's older. Enjoy your sweet little boy while you can. They grow up so fast!! And you'll get a better night sleep also.

I can tell you why. It gets old. Yet, I am for it. I have 3 kids, each of them slept with my husband and myself. We are going to have a fourth, and he/she will also sleep with us. But it does get old, and it is hard to break. I know you want to cut it off at 6 months, just keep in mind he will be more vocal and more determined at that age. All of my kids have their own beds and rooms, and yet to this day they will get in our bed (occasionally). The only real downfall to the arrangement is lack of alone time for my husband and myself. If it were just me and my kids I'd have no issues with it what-so-ever.

Tell your mom to mind her own business. You need to set up the boundaries now. I had similar issues with mine, but it wasn't until the kids were a bit older. It will get worse especially once it comes to disciplining him. She needs to understand that just because you are living with her she doesn't have the right to raise your child. Advice is one thing, telling you what to do is another.

Well hopefully your mom is coming from a point of love...However, you do need to do what works for you and you have to decide that. The breastfeeding issue, is and should be your choice 100%, whether you continue or not. The sleeping in your bed, if you have boundaries and do not let it get out of control or else it could be a nightmare to stop later on. The whole your child will be gay is just crazy...Why?
Your the Mom now and you need to start making decisions and choices and learning that your okay with what you decide for you and your baby!
I say do what your heart tells you and you will be fine!

Well Congrats on being a new mom.... It is a wonderful thing....You should raise your children the way that you want but also note that your mom raised you and could have some good advice for you. I know its probably hard to see but she means well just isnt going about it well. You should ask her why she suggests these things and to expelain herself more. then you can make your own judgemnets. Breastfeeding is your decision and if it is working it is really good for baby. As far as co sleeping i try not to but it is because I lost a child due to SIDS and co sleeping puts a child at higher risk for sudden infant deaths accidental rollovers and sleep issues later in life but that too is all up too you .. Its yoru son an dyou shoudl do what is compfortable for you two. Hnag in there moms always get bossy when their babies have babies lol... I was adopted lol and my mom still feels she know smore then me and is alwaystelling me how to raise my children. lol I am 29 years old and due to giveborth to my fourth child in about two weeks lol... And somehow this woman who has never given birth or had a new babyin her arms knowsmore then I lol .... Our moms are just that way lol Good luck F.

My hubby ans I co slptt with both of our daughters they both moved out of out bed(on thier own) some where anound 2. As for breat feeding itsa personal choice for you and your baby i fed my oldest until she was 23 months and my younger one stopped at 18 they both made the choice and there were no problems and I wasn't miserable.
My mom also mothered me more than she had fo years when I had my kids shes now doing it to my 30 yo sister. maybe its a mom thing. As for co woarkers it is none of their bussiness. just follow yur heart and do what makes you feel right. Being a mom is hard and evryone thinks they know what is best. Hes your son and yourw a good mom thats all that matters

hey... maybe your mom is telling you to stop breast feeding cuz your nipples will start to get sore, but you don't have to stop because your mom tells you too! your doing what is best for your baby!!!! as far as having your baby sleeping with you its not a good idea, because you'll have a hard time getting him to sleep in his own bed so i would put his bassinet next to your bed!
i hope i've been of some help!

I agree with the other moms. You have to do what YOU feel is right for both you and your son.

For me breastfeeding & co-sleeping was a time for me to bond with my son. He slept better which in turn allowed me to get rest too. The benefits of breastfeeding always outweighed the cosmetic aspect of it.(for me that is). Plus I always have the option of cosmetic surgery if I really needed or wanted it.

So take all the advise and opinions in stride. If you're satisfied on how you raise your family that is all that matters.

For the love of everything sacred! I can't even tell you how many things I see wrong with that story!

First of all, he's 2 months old! Doctors suggest you breastfeed at least part time until they reach 1 year old. Secondly, it doesn't matter where or with who he sleeps... it's not going to have ANY effect on his sexual orientation! Even if it did... would you love him any less, depending on the outcome? I didn't think so.

The fact of the matter is... he IS your son. YOU get to make the decision on how to raise him and every little detail that goes along with it. You mother, your coworkers and anyone else that feels the need to throw their opinion need to realize that they get to raise their kids the way they want, but you get to do what you want with yours.

I'm sure they all just want the best for you... but YOU need to do what YOU think is best for you and your little guy. PLEASE dont let them talk you out of breastfeeding until you are ready. It's ridiculous that at 2 months your mother wants you to stop breastfeeding... because the ONLY reason I can see that you would be miserable is because of the cosmetic effects it COULD have if done long term. But I dont see any other reason, and even that one isn't enough.

I hope you dont mind me putting my two cents in... but I've always done things my own way, and I'm a happier person for it. My daughter is a happy, healthy, active little girl... so there! =0)

Hey! I am sorry to hear about this. I am sure it adds extra stress to you! There is nothing wrong with c0-sleeping. I never intended on that but did it with both my kids till they were 14mos old. We co-slept fpr 2 reasons one was lack of space and 2 was because I was so exhausted and thats where both my kids wanted to sleep and they slept better. I felt more comfortable knowing they were right there and I could check on them. And he won't be gay thats just insane! The only promblemn with co-sleeping I see is the longer you wait the harder it is to transition them in their own bed.

Breast feeding is controversial and your mom probably did not breast feed. Many people view it as a sexual interaction and just know nothing about it. I breast fed my son for 10 mos and daughter for 20 mos and loved it! I say do it as long as you want. You can message me for support since you seem to have very little in the family and friends. Iwish you luck!

personally, i'd tell your mom to butt out. nicely of course since she is your mom, but... you know what i mean. ive been a single/seperated mom (still legally married but not living with childrens father) since my son was 9mo old and i was 4mo pregnant. yup, i got pregnant again when he was 5mo old. i breastfed him until just after he turned 6mo, and i only stopped because id found out i was preg again and wasnt comfy nursing while preg. if it werent for THAT, i would have continued as long as he and i both wanted to. he slept with me occassionally as a baby because, like someone else mentioned, it makes nighttime nursings soo much easier! when he was 9mo old i had him sleep with me nightly as more of a 'temporary' comfort thing (their father had hit the 2.. well 2 1/2, of us with the SUV... yup, deliberately). my son just turned 26mo a few days ago, and he still sleeps with me, altho now its more of a financial thing, a toddler bed is a bit out of my budget right now. i dont mind it at all, except to put him to bed and get him to sleep, you have to actually lay in the bed WITH him until hes asleep. thats a pain, but something im trying to remedy. now my daughter, she turned a year old the day before my son turned 26mo just a few days ago, and we're STILL breastfeeding! id hoped to go until at least 6mo, and that just FLEW by! then id set a goal for 9mo, again it flew by and the same with the last 3 months until her first birthday. i am considering weaning after the first of the year, mainly because we're already down to only 2-4 nursings a day. so weaning will be simple. i hope! i dont co-sleep with my daughter along with her brother only because i have a twin-sized bed and with him being a bedhog as it is... theres simply no room for her in it during the night! i do make room for her when she wakes up at 5am to nurse her and get extra sleep. otherwise she sleeps either in her infant carrier/carseat thingy or the crib. if the 'you'll see' comment your mom gives you about breastfeeding is about when they have teeth, dont let that stop you! melly has 4 teeth and yeah she's bitten but i give her 3 chances to stop the biting. after that i take her off the boob and set her down to go play. and as for the co-sleeping making you gay... thats a bunch of bull. since he was about a year old my son has had a crush on just about every disney channel female actress there is: raven (and the rest of the cheetah girls), ashley tisdale, the singer from choo choo soul in the mornings, etc. he adores them! so i seriously doubt im making him gay by having him sleep in my bed.

K.,

I am behind you 100%, keep breastfeeding & co sleeping. I have did not have the opportunity with my first to do this & it shows. My second child who is now almost 6 is so much more well adjusted and confident. And hardly ever sick. I attribute it to breastfeeding & co sleeping until almost 3! Maybe too long for some. But my oldest who is 12 never breastfed or co slept is the complete opposite. There wasn't enough people supporting me in my life at that time & I felt the pressure just like you to not do either one.. Keep your chin up --- I support you!! You are doing a WONDERFUL job!!!

K.

Mothers always think they know best and I'm not saying that I'm gonna be different when my daughter has kids, but I would say that for the sake of your relationship with your mom you should just gently let her know that you can make your own decisions reguarding your child.

Breastfeeding can be painful for a little while (it was for me at least), but there is stuff you can do to ease the pain until you get used to it and then it will stop hurting. I breastfed my daughter exclusively for the first year and then slowly started to ween her off and then it was once a day for three more months. I loved every minute of the bonding time it provided for my daughter and me.

As far as the sleeping situation right now there's nothing wrong with it. There's really nohing wrong with it period, but your child can become dependant on it when they start to get older. My little brother would wake up and go sleep with my mom and dad until he was 11 years old. But at two months you don't have to worry about that yet. Personally, I think you're doing just fine as long as your son is happy then I say just keep doing what you're doing until you or your son is unhappy.

I agree with all the other moms! Do what feels best for you and your son. I breastfed exclusively until 6 months, then when my milk supply began to diminish, I supplemented with a bottle of formula once a day. In all, I breastfed my son until he was 15 months. He has been really healthy and I attribute it to the breastfeeding. Also, he co-slept with us until he was 6 months, then we began to put him to sleep in his crib. He will still occasionally wake up at night and we will put him in bed with us until he falls back asleep.
As for the gay thing - that is ridiculous. I've never heard that and it certainly doesn't have any medical or scientific backing.
Keep doing what feels best for you. Good luck!

Hi K., You will find alot of people will give you free advice (ME INCLUDED! lol) and you can be polite and listen but its your choice whether you use it or not. He is your son and its always best to go with mothers instinct. Do what you think is best for your child and don't feel guilty about it. I breast fed my three kids and the youngest is now 13 and was breast fed until she was 2 1/2. We were very close and still are. And she is a great kid. My other two kids are 24 and 26 and they have grown up to be great responsilbe adults. If your comfortable with it, do it. Usually the person who is complaining about YOU breastfeeding is the one with the hang up about it. Don't take on their hangups. As for co-sleeping there is a great book called THE FAMILY BED. We are about the only country that has a hang up about our kids being in bed with us. My kids were in my bed for a couple of years each and sometimes all of us together. What's wrong with cuddling with your kids. They love it! Doesn't mean it has to be every night. Don't you enjoy cuddling up with someone instead of always being alone. I have friends who never let teir kids in their bed for even one night. How sad. Its a great way to bond with them. So many people seem to be in such a hurry for their kids to get over a stage and grow up. Enjoy him while he is little because it happens fast enough as it is. Our society needs to let kids be kids. People use to tell me I was ruining my kids because I held them so much when they were little. Whats wrong with that. They still had their independent time and were kids who were secure with themselves and had no problem sitting and playing on their own. Don't let your mom or anyone else give you a hang up about what your doing. If you and your child are happy with how you doing things then go with it and be HAPPY!!!!!!!!! Toni

Hi. I know you've had a zillion responses, but I had just a little more to add. I have co-slept with all my kids and loved it. It is true that it can be difficult to "kick em out" later. One trick I discovered that really works is if I put my babies down for their nap in their own bed and only sleep with them at night the transition is MUCH smoother. As for breastfeeding my oldest is 15, We co-slept with him till he was three and I nursed him until 19 months and he is definitely not gay. (=
C.

Well Mom's know best because they have gone through everything.However, I have learned to pick and choose my mother's advice. It will help not develop conflict. Your baby will probably get use to sleeping apart from you if get him on feeding and sleeping schedule. I say get him use to not sleeping with you now cause later will be harder to break the habit. However, breastfeeding is the best source of nurtrition for your baby. What I have read, breastfeeding should stop at least between 9 and 12 months. I hope this helps.

The best advice I received as a new mom when people gave you their 2 cents was to simply answer with, I will take that into consideration and thank them for their advise, and then do what your gut tells you to! Never underestimate the power of mothers intuition!

Good Luck!

Oh my dear, I really understand what your going through. Right now my mother lives with my husband and I. We hear all kinds of things about what we need to do or what we didn't do (we've learned to filter now ) and I heard much much more especially when I was 20, when I had my first son, which I breastfed until 3 1/2 and co-slept and did all those crunchy granola things that noboby understood!!.....BE STRONG! Don't back down....You may be young but God placed that baby in your arms, not your mothers' !! She may mean well, but you must realize that once you become a mother everyone has an opinion on what you should be doing....why do you think Mamasource came into existance??... So with that in mind, remember this, you will NEED to withstand the negitive, uncharming, frustrating and unhealthy things that others...(including your mother) will say you NEED to be doing. Get the facts, know your ground and stand it, but don't be too prideful to not listen to the good and important things people tell you! One thing to keep in mind, if you rely heavily on you mom to help and babysit consider that she will feel she has the *right* and *responsiblity* to tell you what to do. Like instead of paying her to babysit, you will be in a sense giving up some of your right as the baby's mommy. She pays you with advice whether you want it or not! It's real and true, grandparents can be the greatest and the absolute worst of all at the same time. They however are not the parent. period.
One other thing, about the being gay thing with co-sleeping, that would be a very biased and ignorant response...and I've written about that alot in my posts, thinking like that is really that same as generalizing groups of people and lumping them together in an outcome...like this... All people who use hand sanitizer are crazy germ freaks....silly but could be said...or this...All white people from the midwest are rednecks.....You know it's just not true. One apple does NOT spoil the bunch unless you can't see beyond the worm. Well I hope I've helped at least a little. May God bless you in this wonderful job of parenting. T.

Hi K.,
I also have breastfed my almost 11 month old son his entire life and we co sleep. I have heard many different opinions from the different people in my life and have learned to trust my own instinct. The thought that co sleeping would "turn" your son gay is completely idiotic and slightly homophobic. My problem has been that now my son is used to sleeping with me and getting him to sleep seperately isn't just difficult, it's painful, long and seeming impossible. He doesn't sleep alone, he cries and he doesn't stop crying. I'm not going to let him "cry it out" because I think he's too young to understand why he has to sleep alone. But it's getting to the point now where I need a little space, I haven't had a good night's sleep since he was born because he uses my breast as his all night pacifier. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, which makes me wish I would have had him sleep seperately sooner. And the breastfeeding will also be hard to wean him off of in a couple months, he's become so dependent on it. This has been my experience. There are ups and downs to every decision a parent has to make, that's life, but you need to follow your own motherly instinct and I'm sure everything will turn out fine. Don't worry about what other people say, and don't let your mom talk you out of doing something wonderful and healthy and natural for your son (breastfeeding) with her negativity.

i'm a first time mommy at 22 too. my daughter is 3 mon. old. everyone and their mother told me what to do and how i should do it. like some women have said he is your son, you will raise him as you see fit.
at least you didn't rip anyone a new you know what like i did. i poped one night while my family was visiting. i told everyone that if they had a problem with how i was raising my daughter to stick it where the sun don't shine... i said those exact words too! the whole family including my husband didnt want me to breast feed, and said that she shouldnt sleep with me. well first off i think breast feeding is best as long as you an stand it, and i wanted my daughter to sleep with me because my usband works at midnight every night. since then i have stuck to my guns about what i do with my daughter. i dont let anyone tell me anything different. dont get me worng i take their advise into consideration, but its my decision (and my husband). sorry im venting, but as long as youre happy with how your raising your son go for it and dont let anyone tell you different! thats what ive learned in these 3 months!

Many people breastfeed happily, some people continue for over a year. My son is five and a half months and I'm breastfeeding without any problems. I think it's a very good bonding experience. As for co-sleeping, my mother did it with us without any problems. The only issue is that some of the kids had trouble sleeping in their own beds until they were six or seven, but she also allowed it. If you're stopping at six months, I don't see what the issue is. What it really comes down to, is it's YOUR choice. This is your son. I think your mother needs to understand that. She raised her kids, now it's your turn. Advice is a great thing, especially from your own mother. I take my mom's advice all the time. But whether or not I use it is my choice. It's important for your mom to understand that.

I wouldn't worry about the comments. Do what you feel is right. Don't stop breastfeeding just because your mother wants you to. She probably means well but you have to do what is right for you. As for the co-sleeping, once children get used to sleeping with a parent it is VERY HARD to break them of that habit as they get older. They need to be able to go to sleep on their own and in their own bed (when they are a little older). I have a 2 year old daughter who I am trying to break of the habit of having to rock her to sleep every night. She also sometimes gets up in the night and tries to come sleep with me and my husband. Stick to the 6 months. Don't let it go to much longer then that otherwise you could have a hard time. As for the idea of your son being gay when he gets older because he slept with you as a child I think is just plain stupidity. If a child is going to be gay, they will be gay regardless of whether they slept with their mom or not as a baby.

As for everyone's two cents, you just have to take what advice you agree with and let all the other stuff slide right on by. I am a first time mom, too. The best advice I have is to trust your instincts. You will know what is right for you and Kaiden. Best wishes!

That is your son, DO NOT listen to all the know-it-all people in your life, go with what you feel is right. Breastfeed as long as you can, it is nothing but healthy for you & your son. Not only will it save you money because a) you don't have to buy formula & b) you will not be taking your son to the doctor as much but you are also getting to build a bond with that baby that is emotionally going to make him a better human. And studies have shown that mothers who breastfeed have a reduced risk of breast cancer down the road. Who loses here? NOBODY!!!

Co-sleeping making him gay!?!?!?! That is honestly (please forgive me for saying this) one of the top two or three most ignorant things I have EVER heard!!! I am not a proponent of co-sleeping personally because of the safety risks, and I think it is a VERY difficult habit to break, but again: This is YOUR baby!!!

Hello. It was wonderful to read your message - knowing that you are doing a wonderful thing for your baby by co-sleeping and breastfeeding. You can find GREAT information to support these VERY HEALTHY parenting behaviors by going to www.mothering.com. This magazine has been so helpful to me and some of my peers. Dr. Sears book "The Baby Book" is another wonderful resource that would dispel some of the myths you are hearing. It is ridiculous to say that co-sleeping would influence a gay sexual identity in your baby's development. Ahhhh! I could go on and on.... Hope these resources will provide you with comfort, guidance, and some great research material to thwart the negative feedback.

my son is 16 yrs old. He is NOT gay. I was a single Mom when he was one month old. due to being "divorce Poor", he had to sleep with me. I had a 13 year old borhter that I thought deserved his own room so he slept with me until he was 6, when i re married. I never had a problem getting him to sleep in his own bed. i would always read bedtime stories and he would fall asleep so it wasn't any different when he wnt to his "big boy bed". (that was aslo the year his big brother moved out so he was excited about getting his brothers room. I breast fed him until he was 3 yrs old. my mom used to tell me that he was going to take me to the prom and leave me outside sohe could come out for a sip. she also told me that my boobs were going to sag and that i would get fat. My son doesnt have bad teeth because i started oral care as soon as possible, wiping his gums after feedings and rinsing/brushing after meels. his teeth are straight, white and healthy. my mom dint brestfeed any of us 6 siblings and yes my boobs are a bit lower than before but hers are too from having 6 kids not from breastfeeding. im not fat and my son isnt gay, he has a wonderful girlfriend. so listen to the advice that everyone gives and beleive me, there will be so much for the rest of your life, and do whatever feels right for both you and the baby.

Someone told me this when I was still pregnant and it really helped me when I received too much advice. You are the mother and you know what is best. While I'm sure everyone has your best interests at heart, you know what feels right to you. So stick with what works for you and your child because that is what is best. You carried your child with you for 9 months, only you know what he needs. And on a side note, sleeping with your son won't make him gay (don't ever listen to the person who told you that!). People think they become the expert once they have a child...nobody really knows for sure because each child is different. Hang in there.

K.,
You should raise your child however you decide is best. Having your son co-sleep with you will NOT make him gay. If it comforts your son and helps him sleep then by all means do it for as long as you want. My daughter slept with me when she first came home because she wouldn't sleep in her bassinett at all, but I helped her transition because I wasn't getting good sleep, and now she does very well. You should do what you feel is best fitting for you and your child regardless of what other people have to say. Every child is different and needs different things. My son slept well on his own from the beginning and had no problem if he wasn't being held, but my daughter loves to be cuddled and held and sometimes won't let me put her down.

As for breastfeeding, it is the best thing for your child and the most natural thing as well. God made us able to feed our children from our own bodies for a reason, and it is the most wonderful thing in the world. I'm not saying that those who choose to formula feed are wrong or bad, but if you are breastfeeding and not having difficulties that are permitting you from doing so then stick with it and ignore your mother. Maybe she's just jealous that you are doing something she didn't and seeing that it's not hard if you stick through the pain, cause after the pain stops it becomes easy.

Just remember to do what you feel is best for you and your son.

I'm glad to hear your your mothers motives for not wanting your son to sleep w/you were just because she wants him to utilize & enjoy his room. You say you plan to stop sleeping w/him when he's 6 months, but I wouldn't be concerned with putting a time limit on co-sleeping or nursing. I too PLANNED to stop nursing when my son started to get teeth, believing he'd bite me, or it would be painful. My son began cutting teeth at 9 months, and to my suprise, he didn't bite. I did get nipped a few times, but nothing consistant, or damaging. I don't think he was biting me intentionally, and you CAN teach them to stop if it becomes a problem. I nursed my son till he was 13-months and (6 teeth later), at which point I was ready to stop, he was ready for whole milk and he was more-so comfort nursing, rather than hunger-nursing. As for Co-sleeping, my son is now 16 months old, and still sleeps w/mom & dad most of the time. My son also sleeps better when he's in our bed. I think it's just a "closeness thing", your baby likes the scent of his mama, and mama's milk. // Unfourtunatly, people who have had kids will probably always put thier 2-cents in, whether you ask for thier imput or not. It dosen't hurt to listen to suggestions, or even draw from other peoples experiances, but ultimately you've got to do what works for you & your baby. - Take care - T.

Hello K.,

I cannot believe the things that your mom is telling you as well as your co-workers. How you want to raise your son should be up to you and not to be judged by others.

There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding your son for as long as you want or sleeping with him in the same bed. I am a first time mother with a three year old. I breastfed him until he was 18 months old with a whole mouth full of teeth! He also slept in the bed with my husband and I until he was 2 years old. He is one of the healthiest kids that I know (I think it was all that breast milk) and sleeps in his own bed in his own room. I could care less of what my family and friends thought, he was my baby.

You just have to go with your gut feeling of what is best for you and your baby not what everyone else thinks is best for you and him.

Good Luck!
C.

I raised four children, breast fed each one, and each time, the duration was longer. (I am also raising other children as a nanny now) My first never slept in my bed; the other 3 did. I can assure you, my son slept in my bed long beyond 6 months of age, and he is definitely NOT gay! Where does that idea even come from?!!?!? I have never regreted having my children in my bed or breastfeeding them. I do regret that I weaned my first child at 3 months because someone (uninformed!) told me that was the way to do it. I regret THAT. I also regret NOT taking her into my bed as I did her siblings. We do not have the same kind of bond I have with her 3 siblings, and I do attribute it partly to this, as this also effected other areas of parenting her. Listen to your heart and remember that you are the mom! Your mother has a wealth of experience to share, so I would explore with her her concerns, but I believe they are unfounded! I have never regretted allowing my last 3 children to wean themselves, on their time frame, and letting them sleep with me until they were secure enough to sleep in their own bed. As long as you allow them to develop some independence and autonomy, I cant fathom any harm for them in meeting their needs at their level, on their time frame.

My MIL has always been the same way with us. You should be able to nurse your baby as long as you want (I was worried about the teeth with my first one also, but actually that isn't really a problem for most people, amazingly). As for co-sleeping I have 3 kids, two of whom are boys, and we usually always end up co-sleeping even when we don't start out the night that way, they meander in anyway and we're not always good about putting them back to bed. So far my almost 4 yr old boy is all-boy! And so it would seem for my 1 yr old. I've never heard the gay thing on that before -people will come up with anything they can think of to scare you out of doing something they are uncomfortable with (esspecially if they feel guilty that they didn't want to or couldn't do it themselves even if they thought it was the better option).

In my experience our kids are usually much more comfortable and well adjusted than a lot of kids who are put away in their own room. Obviously if you drink or do drugs this is not a good option for you, and also since you are single if you are ever having someone spend the night it's an obvious no-no. But if you are a sober mom with no extra bed hobbies other than sleeping, my personal opinion is that co-sleeping is great. Also one more thing on this subject -there are very few countries in the world where co-sleeping is not the Norm, and I'm sure there are way more people in this country who do it and just don't admit it because for some reason our society has labed it as "taboo" -why? I think the it mostly stems from a few peoples weird ideas such as the gay thing you mentioned, and people being more concerned about pediphiles (I really hope most parents would never even consider - ugh I can't even fathom it, that is such a sad and horrible subject, I just don't think sober, natural parents in their right mind would ever consider touching their child in any way that was innapropriate -we are all trying so hard to protect our children!).

Sorry this got long, but the moral is, you need to do what is best for you and your baby. Everyone knows breast feeding is best, so do it as long as you can! And don't worry about what others think -they are not your childs mother, you are, and you are the one who knows you and your baby best!

My mother was not so negative - my issues were with my mother-in-law! When my second child was born, I tried to breastfeed. I worked SO hard!! But, by the second day, when I couldn't feed my daughter solely on breast milk, she started it. "You may as well stop. Your milk is no good. You're starving your baby." And SO many other things.

Here's my take on it. You're adult enough to have had a baby, and there are no handbooks to tell you the "right" way to parent. And, what works for one kid, maybe no so much for another kid. So, my advice is to do what you feel is best. I know that you may still continue to get grief from your mother (I've been getting grief from my mother-in-law for more than 14 years!) but, ultimately, you're the one who has to deal with your son. The choices you make need to be ones you're comefortable with.

As for the co-sleeping and growing up gay - well, there are some really stupid people out there. Some people want to co-sleep, others not so much. Do what you're comefortable with. There's no proof that co-sleeping will make your child gay. And what about Moms who sleep with their girl babies?? Are they going to grow up gay, too - or is it just the boys? All I can say is "Pshaw!"

K.,
first off, all grandmas/mommies are going to put their two cents in about how they think you should properly be raising your daughter. I think you know your baby better than anyone. Its really tough to take your instincts over your moms suggestions, but your baby is yours. The sleeping in the bassinet is good the earlier you can get your baby to do it, only because they develop security, and know that their own bed is not a scary place. It takes adjustment on both sides, especially on yours. Your baby will cry quite a bit through the first couple of nights, and may have a rough time trying to sleep for a week or so, but he will adjust. He doesn't have the emotional development or horomones yet, to decide if he will be gay or not, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding your baby! You are doing the best thing you can for his health right now, because the nutrients and vitamins that come from your milk are the most absorbant and there is nothing artificial or processed in it. I wish I could have done it, but I got sick a month after I gave birth to her, so it screwed up my whole production cycle. So, the sooner you can get your baby to sleep by himself, the better, but only for security purposes, and good for you for feeding your baby! You are a great mommy, always trust your instincts first hand. You can take into consideration other people's advice, but it is always up to you because you are mommy. My mom told me that she swore there was another "bun in the oven" after I had my daughter for the first three months, and I finally had to crack down and tell her that it hurt me when she told me that. My grandpa told me that my baby looked too chunky for her age, and I told him that as long as I could help it, nobody would ever put my baby down or label her with anything, especially fat. My dad told him afterwords that he was lucky I didn't hit him for it(which I would never do). Point is, you gotta stand your ground sometimes, and know that your instincts are telling you right. Sometimes you have to be stern about it to get your point across, but its ok. They will know not to insist so strongly next time. Tell everyone else to butt out, and trust yourself!!! Hope this helps!

I can only tell you that my daughter slept with us until she was five. Then she wanted her own room. My two year old still sleeps with us. I breastfed my first child until she was two and a half years old (yes she had teeth, but she was careful). My second child I was only able to breastfeed for 8 months. For some reason I got my period and dried up. I was so bummed out.

We are the only westernized country whose children sleep in separate bedrooms, even as newborns. I wouldn't change a thing you are doing. Just try to breastfeed for at least a year, longer if you can! Tell your mom to mind her own business :)

sorry to be rude here but don't listen to your mother. I live with my parents as well and i am to a single first time mother. Breastfeed your son as long as you would like to. The sleeping in the same bed might be an issue later down the road and might be hard to break the habit with him when he's about a year or so and won't be able to sleep in his own bed because he's so used to sleeping with you. But, if he sleeps better with you right now then thats cool but i would suggest that later on in about another month or two try putting him in his crib and see how it goes. And no he will not turn gay for co-sleeping with you.

Try not to listen to them! you know what's best for your baby! our daughter slept in our bed every night till she was 6 months old, now she sleeps in our bed if she wakes up late at night, we let her sleep in the bed, and she takes naps in the bed. I nursed till she was 7 months, just because i went dry. I wish i could still nurse, formula is a pain & it's expensive! Try not to listen to the negativity, i doubt that because your son sleeps in your bed it's going to make him gay, that is the dumbest thing i have ever heard!

You'll just have to let peoples stupid advise go in one ear & out the other! i have co workers that tell me something is wrong with my 2 year old son because he won't jump into their arms when he sees them! I like that my kids are afraid of strangers!!!!

take care & keep your head up!

Hi K.,

I just wanted to say that its nice to see that I'm not alone. I know exactly what you are going through right now. I am also a single first time mom with a 5 month old girl. I breast feed and have my daughter sleep with me at night. While I am applauded by all for my choice to breastfeed, I always have people giving me their unwanted advice on the fact that she sleeps with me at night. Like your son, my daughter also sleeps MUCH better when she's with me and subsuquently I get more sleep too. Plus its so much easier to just roll on my side to nurse her without either of us having to really wake up. My mom did the same thing with me and my two younger brothers and we are all happy, healthy, and well adjusted. I'm learning to just follow my instincts on things like this and not listen to what other people think :) Good luck to you!!

K. your co-workers are full of it, co-sleeping will NOT make your son GAY. He's 2 months' old he has his WHOLE life ahead of him, tell them that is not even funny. Not that being gay would be the end of the world, but moving on, the co-sleeping thing WILL make things harder later. Even to six months, he will be SO accustomed to it, you will have some rough nights til he is able to accept his own bed, so that part I will "deposit my 2 cents (LOL)". But breastfeeding? the whole point is he gets the antibodies he needs, and it helps you lose weight, you bond, and it's FREE. You are a single mother, and if anything your mom should be GRATEFUL you're helping save money. There will be a day when you say, man this kid is awful long, maybe it's time to stop. For some women that is 3 months, some it is 20 months. I wanted to do it for the first year and around 11 months, I felt a little self concious(sp) with this long boy laid out in front of me ready for a meal, so 2 days before his 1st birthday we were pretty much done with that. But you know? He is 3 1/2 now, never had ONE ear infection, and I'd say 4 colds in his life, I am VERY lucky. Now reading back through this, I realize I have been shoving my advice to you too, so I will end with K. needs to do what K. feels is right. If your son looks at you and smiles at you, he's in total love with his mommy and that's all that matters!

Hi,
First of all: you do not have to take anyones advice and stupid comments!!!! He is your child and mothers know what is best for thier children. My daughter is 19 months old, she just weened herself from breastfeeding and my husband and I have had a family bed with her since the beginning. And she is healthier than all of my friends babies who arent breatfeed. She is more independent than most toddlers her age. Breastfeeding and having a family bed make a child feel secure and loved. You should breatfeed and have your son sleep with you for as long as you two need to. MOst babies will ween themselves when they are ready. And breastfeeding doesn't make a baby gay!! How retarded are those people who say that. Funny story: my daughter was born with no hair and we decided to pierce her ears when she was a few months old. One day when I was shopping with her an old women came up and told me I was going to make my son (who is a girl in all pink) gay because his ears were pierced. People dont take the time and think before they speak. But it can be really funny when they say off the wall things. Anyways, good luck with your son. You do what you think is best and when people give you unsolisited advice just ignore them! Feel free to email me if you need any support from a mom who knows what you are going through
K.

it's hard when people around you (especially people close to you) don't support you on parenting issues--i breastfed my daughters for as long as mutually desired--the first one for 20 mos.) i believe in it, i believe it's good for my children--i've done my research. don't give it up--remember you're the mom--no one else can be you! kindly say thanks for the advice but you'll always do everything in his best interest. people mean well but you know all claims are not based on research (co-sleeping and being gay.) don't worry---if it's working for you and your son and your family you should't have to break down. more power to you!

Everyone will always put in their two cents and I know its hard but the best thing to do is say thank you for the advice and then do what you feel is best for your child. You should breastfeed as long as you are comfortable doing so, it is good for the baby. His immune system will be much stronger, his eyesight, his muscle development, and his brain development will all be healthier because of it. That said, there is nothing wrong with feeding formula either so if you do need to supplement at some point its ok! I only breastfed till my son was about 4 months, which was the point when he started really biting hard...by 4 1/2 months he had 2 teeth.

As for sleeping with you, at 2 months you are doing no harm to your son. I will say that in a few months you might notice he won't sleep unless you are holding him or sleeping next to him. Which you won't always be able to do. You are a first time mom like I am and I don't think theres anything wrong with wanting your son next to you at night. Its ok. Just remember that later on he may have trouble adjusting to sleeping in his crib, which could mean lots of headaches for you. I let my son sleep with me for the first few months till he was really good at rolling and I didn't think it was safe for him in the bed. When I made the switch from bed to crib he stopped sleeping through the night and was waking up every two hours to get some comforting and to get a small bottle. This process of getting him used to his crib led to a lot of sleepless nights, and a very tired and grumpy me. But like I said this choice is yours! Every mother and child is different so if you want him in your bed you keep him there!

As for your mom a surefire way to get her to lay off is to give her an article or a pamphlet about the benefits of breastfeeding. Tell her that you love her and appreciate her help, but that for now you prefer to do things your way.

I hope this helps a little. Best wishes for a happy and healthy Mommy and Baby in the coming year.

You're the mom and you will know what is best for your son. If you have concerns, talk with your doctor. People mean well, but they are not medical professionals.

I breast fed my duaghter until she was 9 months old. Loved every minute of it and even a doctor in my group gave me credit for how healthy was my daughter was because of it. It is great for their immune system. The only thing that changed on me from breast feeding is that I am smaller now than I was before I got pregnant but it's not like a look like a guy. I have absolutely no regrets about breast feeding for this long. Both my nieces breast fed their children until they were a year and all are very healthy and active kids.

Good luck and listen to her heart and inner self. Your son will thank you.

L.

Go with what you want...you are the mom not anyone else. You should breastfeed for as long as you can...yes he may bite you one day but that is him learning and growing. And just because he gets teeth does not mean you should stop breastfeeding either. You teach him not to bite by stopping the breastfeeding session if he bites and he will learn. I breastfed my son for 22 months and it was the best and I can't wait to start breastfeeding my new baby. It is a wonderful way to give your baby love! Formula is expensive and not natural! Your breastmilk is the best gift you can give him!

Baby's always sleep better when they co-sleep and so does a mom...especially when breastfeeding. Your baby is only a baby for a short time and you should enjoy it.

A good book to support breastfeeding and co-sleeping is The Baby Book by Dr. Sears! Take what other people say with a grain of salt. Your mom's views are from 22 years ago...and your friend at work...is stupid! Thank people for their opinion and ignore them. Or don't talk to them about it period...find a mom's group and talk to them!

Good Luck!

I agree with your mom on the sleeping with you, my daughter is 8 years old and we just finaly got her to sleep in her own room. But as far as breastfeeding goes I did it for 15 months with a full mouth of teeth at 9 months!! I had no issues her teeth and her health are perfect! I would not change that part for any!!! It was the best bonding expierence EVER! By the way my breast are fine (not too saggy) and besides its a price worth paying to build a strong immune system and super strong bond with my baby. Just remember this is your child and your responsibility, you make the final desision on how to raise them. DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO DO!! Good luck. L.

I don't know what it is about a mother meeting her child's basic needs for food and human contact that sends some people over the roof, but you can have a three-second-old baby crying to be fed and you'll always find some otherwise-rational family member wagging a finger and saying, "Ahh! He's manipulating you." Yeah, if he's manipulating me at three seconds old, he's going to make Albert Einstein look like Howie Mandel in a few minutes and he'll be so busy making revolutionary scientific discoveries in his playpen that he won't have time to manipulate me.

If everyone you knew told you not to breastfeed your son because "you would regret it," would you stop? Why? If everyone you knew told you to hang him upside down by one ankle and dip his forehead in ketchup every time he wet his diaper, would you? *You* know what the right thing is to do, and it's best to ignore people who give you advice (unless they're mainstream pediatricians and child development specialists) that's contrary to your own maternal judgment.

I mean, we all have to use our judgment, and all, but if your baby is under a year old, there's no rational reason to wean your baby and switch to formula. And some people nurse until baby is two. If you're still nursing him before you drop him off at his SAT prep class in 17 years, then perhaps someone is overdue to have an earnest chat with you, but that's not what we're talking about here.

As for co-sleeping, reasonable people disagree about that. But the reason to disagree has nothing to do with making a child gay (and the person who let out with that gem clearly has his own problems).

The real issue is that you can't parent-by-polling. You have to develop enough confidence in your own judgment that you let this stuff roll off your back. It's hard to do that when you're a first-time parent, and you do owe it to your baby to educate yourself. The American Association of Pediatrics and Penelope Leach and the authors of the What to Expect the First Year/Toddler Years books are a good place to start. And avoid the internet unles you have a lot of background knowlege, because there are lots of plausible-sounding people who will tell you all kinds of crazy things (especially if you send them 19.99 and act now).

But once you educate yourself, your judgment and values must take precedence over those of others, without more. Your values will be tested again and again and again, and the stakes will get higher and higher as your child gets older, what with the private preschool that gives you the creeps for no reason you can name (avoid it, even if nine million people give testimonials on its goodness) all the way to the teen years with parents holding keg parties in their basement for high-schoolers "because they're gonna get it somehow," and everyone pressuring you not to be such a party-pooper when you put your foot down to your 16-year-old and say he can't go.

You don't have to reject the person giving the advice, and yeah, she parented you and you did fine, but she raised her baby, now you get to raise yours.

Hang in there.

Dear K.,
I can not agree with you more about first time mothering being a pain, everyone and their gold fish have their own opinions on how things should be done. Add to that the medical proffesion changes its opinion on how a child should be sleeping at least once every oh id say 10 years at the most. I'm almost 40 and have gone through them all, with one it was only on side. with another it was only on tummy, then i got the lay on back but never with bottle. wrap tight wrap loose bottle feed breast feed floride no floride. It really just made me smile and think back to my first one when you said that. The truth of the matter is YOU are the MAMA You love your son and believe it or not even though he is your first, you really do KNOW what is best for him. Weaning will taake place when it feels right . You will know the right time. Sleeping through the night will also come on its own, you may wish to put his bassinet in your room when you decide to transfer him giving a kind of grace period before bassinatt moves to his own room. But still if something makes you feel uneasy..... forget the advise, just because someone wants to Help you does not mean that will work for you we are like snow flakes, and so are our children unique and presious. Hope this helps. Much encouragement and support going out to you, L.

Dear K.,
One thing to remember first and foremost is that you are this child's mother, not anyone else. Everyone will have their opinions, but its up to you to make the child rearing decisions. You can always politely say, "thanks for your advice, but this is what I'm doing." Be confident in your choices, because they sound like good ones to me.
I have a 5 yr old son and 1 yr old daughter. My first son nursed until he was two and slept in my bed until he was two. Once he stopped nursing he slept in his own space without any problem and still does. He's also a very secure confident child. My daughter is still nursing and also sleeps with me most of the night. Its not a problem. There are many families and moms who co-sleep with their babies. Try reading the Dr. Sears Baby Book which has wonderful support for co-sleeping and advice for how to handle those people who aren't supportive of it. You also don't have to stop nursing just because you're baby gets teeth. They don't suddenly start chomping down on you, and if they try once or twice it can be easily remedied. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least one year. Also, the comment your co-workers made about him possibly being gay if he sleeps with you is the most ridiculous idiotic thing I've ever heard on the subject!
I strongly recommend reading The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. Good luck, and remember that other people's advice isn't always what's best for your own situation. Only you can make that choice.

That must be so hard having your Mom looming over you trying to tell you what to do with your son. Confusing, too, since being a first time parent there are so many things you wonder if you are doing right. My Mom tries to "help" too, when I see her (once a year) and it drives me up the wall. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for you living with yours!
Your friends at work don't know what they are talking about- your son will not become gay if you co-sleep with him- that's ridiculous!!! If you hear people say things like that I think the best thing to do is check with your doctor, that may make you feel better.
I think that how long you choose to co-sleep and breastfeed is a very personal choice. I'm still breastfeeding my daughter at 11 months and have no problems (and she has teeth). We co-slept until she was about 4 months and It made night time feedings so much easier! I know people who co-sleep for much longer than that. You can always go to the library and check out books on the subjects of breastfeeding and co-sleeping to help you confirm what you'd like to do. One of the best books that I use all the time is "What to Expect the First Year", by Heidi Murkoff. It helped a lot. You can but it at Babies R Us.
I wish you the strength to stick to your guns and do what is best for YOU and YOUR baby!
Good Luck!

K.,

My opinion is this. First, your son will not be gay if he sleeps with you. That is for you to determine where he sleeps not your mother, father, any relative, or co-workers.

As for breast-feeding. I breast fed both my biological children and it was wonderful. If you eat right and take care of yourself, it is the best for them. It also bonds the two of you. Your son will get your antibodies. Breast-feeding for the first 6 months is recommended by the APA (American Pediatrics Assoication) and only you can determine how long he nurses for. I would recommend for at least the first year of life.

You need to tell your mother that this is your son (child) and her mistakes are just that, her mistakes. You need to tell your mother to "bud out".

If you would like to talk, please let me know.

T.

I am a mother of four and have co-slept and nursed all of them-including nursing while pregnant and tandem nursing. I would strongly encourage you to continue both! The more sleep your baby gets, the better and nursing is the healthiest and most wonderful way to bond with your baby. Both my mother and mother-in-law thought I should wean my kids much earlier than I did (I'm still nursing my two youngest--the 2 year old just once a day before bed, and my 3-month old on demand), but I went with my instincts and have been rewarded with healthy, happy kids. Even my pediatrician commended me on nursing, say that it makes HIS job easier because I don't end up bringing in a sick baby so often! Also, there's lots of information on the longterm benefits of breastfeeding if you need some ammunition for your mom. So, my two-cents is keep doing what you are doing and enjoy your baby, he's only so little for a short time!

Dear K., no one knows best of what your son needs than you do. Your son isn't even six months old yet, and you are doing a wonderful job with being there for him! And NO he will not turn gay because he sleeps with you. Shame on those co-workers. As far as breastfeeding, it's recommended that you do that for one year at least. Some Mom's do it for two years. Your breast milk is the best nutrient for your child. This is what I have learned during my two years of mommy hood. :-) My son just turned two. He still sleeps in his crib, and sometimes when his daddy and I want a better night sleep, we'll put him in bed with us. Granted, this does not teach him independancy, but when we're ready, we will be stern about our son sleeping on his own in his own bed. So K., I believe you are doing a great job with your baby. My father kept getting on us about our son still sucking on his binky. Well, finally I got stern with him and told him that we will get rid of it when we're good and ready and not because you say so. Sometimes parents need to be put in their place. You do what you feel is best for your baby because no one knows best except for you. :-) G.

K.,
omg, your mom is almost too funny! You should breast feed for as long as you can. Have you smelled that yuky formula. It's powdered, yuk. Your milk is natural and a 100 years ago breast milk was all they had so you had to breast feed until they were like 3 or 4 years old. It's perfectly natural. Your son won't be gay if he sleeps with you. He might be a mamma's boy (not a bad thing). But from what I understand, which I don't believe, gay men's brains are saturated in female hormones in the womb, so the damage would have already been done. When he's older, a good masculine role model might be advised. Be strong, go with your instincts. You are so young but you have a good head on your shoulders. You are the mother, not your mom or your co-workers, if they don't like how you're raising your son, they will just be a little hard to live with, but ultimately it's your decision. Love your son, your mom and your co-workers, but do what's in the best interest of your son and yourself... One more bit of advice, take care of yourself, allow yourself some rest and indulgence, so you can be refreshed and in a good mental state to take care of others. Wish you the best.
R.

HI K. I first wanted to introduce myself cus we are almost the same just my son is older. I'm J. I'm a 23 year old sinlge mom to a two year old boy. My son slept in my bed off and on tell he was about a year and a half my only problem was when it was time for him to have his own room it was hard to get him to sleep in his own bed at first but he does it just fine now plus if your stopping at six months you should have no problem. My mom's bofriend use to always try to tell me what my son needed and what was best for him I just had to keep reminding him that I was Hunter's mom I decided what Hunter needed. I know it sounds kinda mean but maybe your mom needs to be reminded of the same for you. Feel free to message me if you have any more questions or if you just want to talk.....

I know you had many advice already, So I will be brief:

-You are doing the right things for your baby
-breasfeeding is a gift to your child that will last a lifetime (emotionally, psychologicall, healthily) and the longer you can do it the better.
-Co-sleeping, if it is working for you that is great. Bonding with your baby is really important for his well being, security and emotional health.
-Finally what I would strongly recommend is if you are in doubt about certain things go to a bookstores and do your own research. Go online and learn about child development. And above all listen to your heart. All your baby needs right now is lots, lots of love and care because He loves you unconditionally.

PS: If you need books recommendation let me know.

ALL THE BEST AND HAPPY NEW YEAR

I can see that you have had a overwhelming amount of responses to your request. However, I just want to say to do what you feel is right. My husband and I set up a timeline for when we wouldn't co-sleep with our son anymore, when I would stop breastfeeding my son and so forth. But, in the end, we decided that we really couldn't set up any specific timeline for our children as to when we would do what.

My son is 3 and still sleeps with us, along with his 20 month old sister. We have such a strong bond with our children, that nobody will ever be able to break. We love our children with all of our hearts and will never regret sleeping together with our children. It has brought us closer together as a family and helped us to get a good night's rest, so that we could provide quality care to our children during the day. I never in a million years thought that I would co-sleep with my children, but it happened and continues to happen.

I also breastfed my children. My daughter, just two days ago, weaned from the breast. She is 20 months old. I never thought I would breastfeed that long, but I have. I think that too many expectations and regulations are placed on children and we need to step back and realize that every child IS different, every year there are new trends to follow, and every mother will always give their children advice. Take what you hear and choose what is best for your child and you will have no regrets. I thought I would be judged for the choices I have made in raising my children, but so far even my highly critical mother has yet to say anything-I guess she sees my well-mannered, well-behaved and loving children as a true testament as to the type of mother she was to me. Good luck and I know you will be a great mother, despite what others may say!

-Janelle:)

Hi K.,
My name is S. and I am also like you. I am 25 with a 9 month old baby boy. His name is Izaak. I breastfeed him and he as well sleeps with me in the bed. In my opinion you should be able to raise your children the way you want with others support not their negative feelings. You will know when it is time to stop breastfeeding and when it is time for your son to move on into his own bed. With what your co-workers are telling you is just a myth. They are just trying to scare you! You carried your son for nine months and gave birth to him, you raise him how you want!! If others don't agree that is their own opinion and they are entitled, but it should not bring you down. As for your mother just be honest with her and tell her how you feel!! You are not going to be miserable with breastfeeding it is a very beautiful thing and it helps mother and baby connect! I hope that I could help you out in your situation if not I tried!! Have a safe and Happy New Year and congratulations on your son!!

Yup those 2 cents come flying in from everywhere it seems huh? Well about sleeping with your 1st born, I did it and it took me having another baby to get my 9 yr old out of my room haha! But your son will always and forever be your first born so enjoy him. Mommy him spoil him and love him......don't spoil too much ok? Haha! Good luck!

Hi K.!

Opinions are like...something I shouldnt say ;) everyone has one and they all stink! your job is to take care of your little man and be his protector and his support. I dont know what type of bad situation your mom encountered with breastfeeding or co-sleeping, but I found the experience wonderful enough to do 3 times,and have breastfed, grand total for almost 6 years (my kids are 8, 6 and 3)Other than my own personal breastfeeding/co-sleeping history, I have been an RN for the past 14 years and Lactation consultant for the past 5 years and have supported many women and their children thru their decisions to continue breastfeeding through terrible circumstances and those who just needed a cheerleader..

you follow your heart, first of all....you are this little persons mother, and it matters not others opinions about what you should do. Make the choices you WANT to make! Teh choices that best suit you, your son and your life.

Secondly, Breastfed children have a decreased chance of: Diabetes, obesity, ear infections, upper respiratory infections, RSV, chicken pox, and all other childhood illnesses as they are protected by moms immune system the entire time they nurse and beyond...Mothers also have benefits from breastfeeding like decreased chance of breast cancer and other hormone related cancers, decreased chance of osteo-porosis, decreased chance of post partem depression or "baby blues" quicker weight loss after baby...etc.

Thirdly, if you stop breastfeeding your other option is "formula" which as the name suggests, began as an experiment and remains one...everything in formula is manufactured. Children who are formula fed have been shown through years of reserch to have a higher incidence of stomach trouble because of the micro-fissures created by a human digestive system attempting to digest cow protiens(milk based formula), early puberty (soy based formula), increased incidence of ear infections, upper and lower respiratory infections, RSV, etc...

Fourthly, There is no evidence to support children who co-sleep with their parents are any less of anything...on the contrary, all the evidence supports children being more independent by age 4 because they had the love and security they required when they were younger.

Doncha think god knew what he was doing when he gave us breasts and the ability to nourish our own children both with love and nutrition? I obviously think you are doing everyting right, but remember, this is only my opinion. so follow your heart and you will find your truth.

Good luck :) A.