Co-sleeping? How Do I Do It?

Updated on July 10, 2008
L.M. asks from Englewood, FL
20 answers

I was wondering how to co-sleep with my baby? I don't breastfeed and I am a single mother that would be the only person in the bed with her. I already have the bed pushed up against the wall. what are the risks and what is the thing I need to worry about. I think about my pillows or blankets getting on top of her or her pulling them on herself and not being able to get them off. the main reason is because my baby wakes up every 2 hours all night long so we are both not getting sleep.

I have a crib in the same room with me with a wedge under her sheet to keep her head up and one of those things that keeps her from sliding. she still goes sideways and ends up with an arm under the bumper. then she wakes up and tries to eat it, I am worried more about the safety of the bumpers than her being in the bed with me.

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I will be sure to try your suggestions! thanks!

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J.R.

answers from Sarasota on

Well, first things first...loose the bumper. That is the biggest no no for a crib. She is also too old for a wedge. I would put her in a footed sleeper outfit or a blanket sleeper and have nothing else in the crib with her. Try that first. If you still want to co sleep be very careful. I did that with my first child until she fell off the bed when she was six months old. She was okay, but it scared us so bad that I couldn't do it anymore. She is definately safer in the crib. Good luck.

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A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

Just put her in the bed with you. If you are worried about rolling over on her you could put a pillow between the two of you. My daughter is still co sleeping with us. She has since she was a few days old. As she got older she mastered climbing out of the crib.

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N.C.

answers from Tampa on

hi! i won't worry so much about wanting to have your child in the same bed as you. my daughter is almost three and she sleepsin the same bed as i do. as long as you have the bed against the wall and you are sleeping on the other side then you will be fine. if you are worring about her pulling the blanket over her then i would get one of her blankets and lay it on top of your. then put her on top of her blanket and just make sure she is dressed warm. i did breastfeed , so my daughter was in the bed with me but be careful, because know i am having a hard time getting my daughter to sleep in her own bed. but if you feel like you need your daughter to sleep in the same bed as you then go ahead and do it. and after a few nights you won't worry about her being in the same bed as you. just don't worry about it, because the more you do, thenthe less sleep you will get. other than that enjoy your daughter and relax.

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A.V.

answers from Panama City on

I co-slept with my first 2 children and plan on doing it with my 3rd. I would say that first and foremost you can't be a heavy sleeper. You need to be aware of baby all night long. Also, I have read that smokers should never co-sleep. So nix the idea if you're a smoker. Put baby in light sleeping clothes-it's much warmer in bed with you and the blankets. You also need to seriously think about when you want to transition her to the crib. With my first, we had such a hard time getting him into a crib because we waited too long. He was almost 2 years old before we got him out of our bed. Needless to say, that can really hurt your love life. And we really weren't getting enough sleep either. With my second, I started out giving him naps in his crib when he was a few months old and then putting him down for bedtime. When he woke in the night, I would bring him into bed with me and we'd sleep until morning. Eventually, when I wasn't nursing anymore, I weaned him off of that. And he would sleep the whole night in the crib. Co-sleeping really can be wonderful. Especially when they're so small and fun to cuddle with.

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F.S.

answers from Tampa on

Hi L.,

My daughter hated the bassinett. We tried the 'snuggle-nest' products and she hated that even more. Eventually we just put her between us and she sleep like that for months.

At first I was concerned about her getting squished - we have all heard the suffocation stories but I was amazed at how light our sleep became.

We have a new baby on the way and Ive been looking into different options. Eventually Im sure she will end up between us anyway (if she is anything like our other daughter she will like the touch/closeness) but this baby bunk looks really interesting http://www.ecobaby.com/babybunk.htm I havent tried it so I can't comment about it either way but I thought you might be interested in having a look.

Good Luck,

F.

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N.S.

answers from Sarasota on

I am a single mom of 5 month old twins and I often co-sleep with one or even both of them. I have a queen size bed pushed up against the wall. I also have one of those "Close & Secure Sleepers" (CSS), which I place right up against the wall. I am still nursing both of my babies, so I often fall alseep while nursing. If the second baby ends up waking up during the night, I either place the one thats asleep back into the crib (also in my room) or into the the CSS and place the second baby between me and CSS while i nurse him/her and then we often end up sleeping all together until morning.

Try a few different things and see what works for you. I was kinda worried about rolling over on them when they were first born, but now that they have gotten so much bigger and I am used to them being in my bed, I am 100% comfortable having them there.

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A.A.

answers from Tampa on

Please purchase the book Night Time Parenting by William Sears. It will answer Many of your questions. My family continues to do the family bed. Our children are 4 and 1. I love it and I would recommand co-sleeping to any family!

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M.M.

answers from Tampa on

they sell co-sleepers which are very firm to seperate you and baby so you know if you roll over you can't get on baby unless you roll over it! it is hard and firm or you can buy a firm divider??? of course put her on the wall side.

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L.S.

answers from Tampa on

We coslept with both of our kids. There are things you can do to make it safe. I used a bedguard. If your bed is up against the wall, then that obviously would keep her from falling off.

When my babies were in our bed (different ages, so different times), I just made them their own spot in the bed. I'd scoot over a little bit while we were asleep. I made sure there were no pillows around them and they used a baby blanket. I did use one of those wedges that keeps them from rolling onto their tummies. So I think that helped them feel "snuggled." I also took my big comforter off the bed at night. Those things move around so much. So we used a thinner blanket at night that stayed put. She slept between me and the bedguard.

With my first, I didn't sleep well at first and woke up stiff. I had a hard time relaxing. After I got used to it, I slept much better. I never came close to rolling onto her or anything like that. When I had my ds a few years later, it just seemed natural.

I did try a cradle with dd at first. Like yours, she just seemed to wake up allllll the time. She slept much better once she was closer.

I liked having my babies close. Sometimes it can be a pain to eventually get them out of the bed. But, there's tons of advice out there on that too if that's the case : )

Read what Dr. Sears has to say about it: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070600.asp .

L.

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K.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi Laura,
My husband and I have co-slept with our son since the beginning. He sleeps between us. I don't recomend having the bed up against the wall. When your daughter starts rolling over she could get wedged between the bed and the wall. If my son and I are sleeping together without Dad, I just stack a couple of pillows and put them on the edge of the bed where I am not sleeping. This has never been an issue. Also at first my husband and I had seperate blankets and the baby had his own blanket or slept in one of those sleeper gowns that zipped up. Those things are great! That way I didn't have the issue of blankets being in his face. I hope this helps. Co-sleeping is a wonderful way to bond with your baby on such a different level.
K.

K.M.

answers from Tallahassee on

Hi L.!

First off - it is ironic your name is L. M. ;) My daughter (born 7/8/06) is going to be 8 months old in a few days and her name is also L. M. ;)

Secondly - I am also a single mother of one (L.) and we co-sleep. Ever since I was 7 months pregnant I've lived with my father. We have co-slept ever since she was born actually. Before I ever had children I had a cat that used to sleep up against me so close that if I rolled over she'd "meowwwww!" at me to get off. I did this very few times before I finally "knew" in my sleep that something was sleeping close-by. So that helped train me for the child I have now I suppose.

We don't have room for a nursery because we live with my father due to me getting divorced etc. so her room is my room and there isn't room for a crib so that leaves one place - my bed. I do have a "co-sleeper" bassinet that I probably should put her in but instead it is up against the bed as a second barrier to the pillows I will mention shortly - it is a storage area for toys currently. lol!

My bed is a queen size bed and sits in the middle of the room against a wall. As I said - ever since she was born she has slept in the bed with me. I've found that personally I'm most comfortable sleeping with 3 pillows propped behind me and then I put two pillows on my left and two on my right or dependant on the size of the pillows being at least 6 to 8 inches high or so - kinda a padding around me to keep my arms up as a barrier. Then one pillow underneath my legs length-wize - same as when I was pregnant I would do to "prop" my feet. She sleeps on my chest. When she starts rolling around and wanting to get more comfortable, I then put her on the pillow to my left, take one pillow out from underneath my head/back and put it against the headboard in front of her to keep her from moving forward and through the mattress/headboard to the floor... then I put my arm around her and we go back to sleep. She is generally snuggling up close to me at this point and goes right to sleep listening to mommy's heartbeat.

If she starts moving I can always feel her because I'm snuggling up next to her to sleep as she is to me. If I move too far away she wakes crying in the middle of the night and then sometimes she just wants her own space. During these "own space" times I take the pillow out from underneath her and pad the left side of the bed against the co-sleeper with the pillow to keep her from rolling off the bed and then she is sleeping directly on the bed between me and the pillow/co-sleeper.

I have so many people tell me that she should sleep on her own and I'm gonna pay for this later when she gets older and wants to sleep with me during nightmares, etc. My answer to them? If I find a man that doesn't want my daughter to sleep in the bed with me when she has a nightmare - he can walk right out the door and never return. I don't need him. My daughter's well being and safety - even if it is imagination attacking her in a dream - is priority. To children, dreams are real and so is their mother - their protector. I never want her to feel she can't come to mommy for help no matter how old she is.

Anyways - that's how I do it. ;)

Sincerely (and the best of luck to you!),
Rena.

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L.C.

answers from Tampa on

Co sleeping is wonderful, I've done it with both my children and will continue when our third arrives. I agree that you should read some of the literature from Dr. Sears and his wife, and that will ease your mind. We tend to always be over critical of ourselves with our first children. I too worried about her safety, spoiling her, never getting our bed back - but rest assured when they are ready the transition into their own beds is much easier. My children are much loved, very confident and highly independent and I believe that is because they've been consistently showered with attention and affection - it creates more confidence not less... don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

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L.L.

answers from Sarasota on

I am also a single mother, and I co-slept with my daughter for several months. I made sure to keep the blanket far away from her and no pillows on her side. I'm a very light sleeper and always wake up when I roll over, so I felt pretty safe about it. What I ended up doing after a few months, though, was putting her in a little port-a-crib that was the same height as my bed and had a side rail that folded down. It was like a little extension of my bed, but she was much safer over there. The one I used was in my family for generations, but I know they make newer versions of them. They're called Co-Sleepers. Good luck and happy sleeping!

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B.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

You can bu a co-sleeper for your be. It's sort of a bed-in-a-bed for your baby. You can find them at Babies R Us for sure of other baby store. Here's a link to show you what I mean. It's a good way to keep your baby safer in the bed w/ you.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=226611...

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V.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

My fiancee and I had our son in the bed for a few months. I would lay my son in his boppy at the very top of the bed and he would stay there all night.He woke up every two hours also, and it was very hard.Im not sure of finances but if you have or want to get a cradle I put it right next to the bed and put him it and felt very comfortable with him there.I did that after about five months or so.Good luck

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R.

answers from Tampa on

Check out www.onestepahead.com type in Close & Secure Sleeper (in ther search section) you can see a picture of a co-sleeper bed that a previous mom spoke about. You can put it in the bed next to you. Consignment shops carry them. I see them at Once Upon A Child all the time. they are pretty popular, but I like many of the other mothers that have posted here, just have her sleep next to me in the bed. No pillows near her and only use a baby blanket when needed. Enjoy! It's a wonderful feeling to have your baby snuggled up next to you. The time will fly by.

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D.C.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

I have co-slept with both my little girls. Of course the doctors tell you not to, and to only lay them on their backs, but really, who wants to sleep like that? I wasn't getting any sleep and just decided out of nowhere to lay on my side with my baby snuggled between me and my arm. We both got alot more sleep and both my little girls are closer to me and better behaved because of it. Now don't get me wrong, I was worried at first because I'm a heavy sleeper, but I didn't move while they were sleeping next to me. You'll just have to try and see.
Best wishes!

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D.

answers from Tampa on

L.,

I purchased a used bassinette and had it next to my bed. Do some research on the internet, statistics show that sleeping with a baby has some risks. Because I was so tired getting up everynight, I chose the bassinette next to my bed because I was too afraid of something happening.

Just an opinion.

D.

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C.K.

answers from Tampa on

My daughter is almost 4 months old now and has been co-sleeping with me pretty much since the beginning. I did buy a Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper bassinet with the intention of her sleeping in it pulled up to the bed, but she wasn't really "into" that whole thing. LOL. She slept in it a few times but was pretty adamant about sleeping next to me. I finally gave in so we could both get some rest.

We sleep in a queen size bed. Daddy moved to the guest room when I was about 8 months pregnant since neither of us were sleeping due to my tossing & turning from size & bladder issues, as well as me poking him to make him roll over & stop snoring. Since she was born, it's just kind of stuck that he sleeps in there most nights. Anyway, I sleep on one side of the bed in a normal position, and she sleeps on the other side with her head toward the center edge of the bed and her feet at my stomach. I was completely paranoid about her sleeping with me to begin with, too, with issues with blankets, pillows, etc. I pull the comforter off half the bed so it covers me and goes up to her waist, and I keep the pillows away from her. She's in a "sea" of open bed really, so I feel pretty secure about it. I often sleep with one hand on her tummy or holding her hand; if she wakes during the night, putting a hand on her tummy usually soothes her right back to sleep.

She's not rolling over yet (well, once -- she's working up to causing new issues quite soon), so that's something yet to deal with. I intend to put pillows around the bed, just in case. But she's really very centered on the bed, so she'll have to do a lot of rolling to make it off.

Her Daddy does sleep with us on occassion, and when he does, I sleep between the two of them with the bassinet pulled up to her side of the bed as a barrier. In this case she's just laying beside me with her head up toward the pillow. I think instinct keeps me from rolling over on her, though like another poster, I also had a cat who slept cuddled up to me, & we never had an issue of me rolling over on her either.

We do breastfeed, and I move to her position when she nurses so she can just fall back asleep without needing to be moved. I've fallen asleep myself a few times next to her without any issues, too. My lactation consultant says that we Mommies have that natural instinct that keeps us from rolling onto them in our sleep.

It's working well for us, though I'm sure it's going to be a tough fight later when I want her to sleep in her own bed.

You'll probably sleep very lightly at first worried about her, but that will pass. She'll be happy to be next to you, and soon you'll both sleep much better. Hope this helps!

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D.B.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

L.,

My husband and I co-sleep with our daughter who is now 2. We've been doing so since she was about 9 months old. She sleeps between us. When he has to work out of town, I put a body pillow along his side of the bed (it is not pushed up against the wall on either side, only the top), and then I sleep on the other side. If you want, you could sleep along the foot of the bed yourself and put pillows along the side exposed to the open. You could use your blanket(s) on you, and your daughter's blankets over her. That would get rid of the blanket issue. The other idea I have is to sleep normal in the bed, just you get under the blankets...use your daughter's blankets on her. That way she wouldn't pull your blankets over her head, etc. As she gets older you could let her sleep under your blankets. Maggie, my daughter, does so...has from the start, but again, she was 9 months when we started. We had the same issue...she woke up contantly during the night in her crib. She had a wedge as well...

Good luck, and let us know.

D.

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