Co-sleeping...wrong Or Right?

I am a co sleeping mama! My 2 and a half year old son now sleeps in his own room for the most part. But I definately have my 3 month old in bed with me. For me....it is the right decision. I love having my babies near me. It is natural. I was always taught to look at the situation with a primitave mind. Back in cave days...we slept with our young to protect them. So they dont need to be protected in the same way anymore. Doesn't mean we need to sleep without them. We are the only mammals that make our young sleep alone. Think how scary it must be for them to wake up and not have anyone there...when they have always had you and your heartbeat. This is just MY opinion for me and MY family. If you and your husband feel it is right for you...then it is. I wouldn't stress too much about it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as both mom and dad agree it's best. Our son slept in a bassinet at first but now he sleeps with us and we all sleep better. He takes less than 30 seconds to fall asleep and doesn't wake in the night unless he has a bad dream or something and then we're right there for him. We don't plan on doing it forever. He's 2 1/2 years old and we're in the process of shopping for his own big boy bed. I'll encourage him to sleep in his own room but if he's not ready I won't make him as long as it keeps working for the rest of our family.

I have slept with my 6 month old daughter almost every night since we came home from the hospital and she loves it. She can sleep in her own bed too, and sometimes she does...but its comforting to both of us to snuggle up. I know a few other moms who also co-sleep and we all feel the same way; that its a nurturing, safe environment for the baby, and completely natural...its what we did before cribs were invented. Both of my brothers and I all slept with my mom as infants and we still turned out to be happy, well-adjusted people...who never had a problem sleeping in our own beds as we got older. I suggest that you follow your instincts on this. If it feels right to you then it is.

I think you should do what feels right for your family. Everyone has their opinions but there is no right or wrong answer. I have three children 4 1/2, 2, and 10 months old. We have been co sleeping since the begining. Our oldest sleeps in his room and sometimes his brother sleeps with him, but many nights they both crawl into bed with us still. And we still love it. The youngest occasionally sleeps with us but really the reason she is in her crib, five is a little much for our king size bed. My husband and I love having them in bed with us. I don't see anything wrong with it at all. We cuddle up together and my two year old son plays with my hair to fall asleep. I think it's a great bonding experience. Time goes by so fast. I believe you should cherish every cuddling moment you can with your children. My youngest definatly sleeps better than the older two, being in her own crib all the time, she puts herself to sleep which is something my older two never did and she still gets lots of cuddeling time and when my oldest two stay the night at grandpa's she sleeps with us all by herself. I think there is good and bad with both sleeping situations, but my husband and I have enjoyed it, apart from a few kicks in the head occasionally :)!! If you and your husband love it, keep doing it for as long as you like. I know the kids love it and I feel it makes them feel really safe and secure being in between mommy and daddy all night. It has been a great bonding experience for us. Our boys are very polite and loving little boys. We get hugs and kisses all day long and they constantly tell us they love us, I feel that has a lot to do with co-sleeping, it's a very special bond!!! :)
D.
PS: I spent a lot of time worrying if I was doing things right or wrong as a parent, I'm now 27 with three kids and I finally realized you just have to do what you think is right or wrong, not everyone will agree with you but they don't know your family situation. Don't worry about what other people think, just be yourself and the best mommy you can be. It took me a long time to realize that!

Hi S.,
I want to start off by saying I have co-slept with my children and was one of those rare children who co-slept with my parents! I grew up with terrible nightdreams! Not related to my childhood..(I had a great childhood). Everytime I would wake up I would go into my parents bed and they never kicked me out. As far as being able to sooth myself, I learned that just fine...as a baby, toddler, and as a girl I did...laying right next to my mom and dad, and in my own bed which I loved! I have grown up fine and have a wonderful relationship with my mom..(my dad died when I was 13).

Co-sleeping is about connection, safety, snuggling, peace, and above all sleep! There really is nothing to worry about..(unless of-course you move around uncontrollably at night, but you would know) My children 7 and 3 are fine. my 7 year old has a bunk bed he loves and sleeps in and he knows he is always welcome in my bed too....my three yr. old has never had a crib....neither did my older....I just know when they are ready for the big bed(that is, their bed) and I help them get excited about it...

Let me dispell any myths about intimacy in bed.... Bed's are not just about sex, they're also about getting comfy and sleeping! And if you can't figure out other places and ways to be intimate with your spouse then your sex life could be down right boring! Not trying to offend anyone, but come on, how long before you had kids did you actually spend making love in your bedroom....not much for me; cars, parks, and oh la la various parts of the house! Shoot, try something new, your husband will appreciate it!....
So with all that in mind, I hope I helped a little, and I pray God will give you the peace of mind about your decision. God bless. T.

I think you should do what is right for you, your husband and your son. Do many times we get caught up in what other people and society things is right or wrong, or what they think we should do with our children. My daughter is 4 1/2 and still sleeps with me. She is more comfortable with that and I am as well. I am a single parent and work a full time job, so with her sleeping with me it gives us a little more time together. When her father and I where together, I would put her in her own bed, but should would always end up in our bed around 2:00 in the morning, which was fine with me, but her father was not happy about it. I do occasionally ask her if she wants to sleep in her bed, and so far she says no. Some parents would frown on this, but she is my daughter and this is what is right for her and I. It is not like if we co-sleep with our children they become 10 year olds who wont sleep in thier own bed.

I dont have a great answer for you but I have been struggling with the same issue with my son who will be two next month now we finally have him to where it is hard for him to fall asleep if he is not laying on the ground kicking the door its turned into a ritual for him there are so many people who do say "you'll be sorry if you don't get him out of your bed" or whatever but honestly now I believe that it is just kinda a personal thing. I mean it's not gonna last forever!!! Anyway I just wanted to say it all comes down to your personal choice and even if your a first time mom believe it or not you have mommy instincts!!

We co-sleep with our 19 month old daughter and love it. My hubby wants her near us as well. we all sleep better together and i know she is safe with me. our only problem is naps tend to be hard, as she wants me to sleep with her... ;) Iam not sure when we will move her to another bed, but for now, it works for us and sounds like it works great for you too. just becasue you are not following the "norm", does not make it wrong... as far as sufforcating the baby, obviously our kiddos are bigger and we dont have to worry about SIDS, but i used a co-sleeper until she was 3 months old so i didnt have to worry...

I wouldn't say that it is right or wrong, I think it depends on your family and what works for you. Our DD slept in a bassinet for 3 months and then we moved her to the crib. She had no problem adjusting and actually started sleeping through the night shortly thereafter. Once the crib toy is turned on, she's out cold. To me, there is really not a 100% safe way to co-sleep, once you are in a deep sleep, it doesn't matter how "safe" you make the bed, anything can happen. Now that DD is in her crib, she sleeps better, DH and I sleep better, and I am a better mom when I am fully rested. DH and I have the alone time we need (preventing any underlying resentment toward DD) and DD gets her alone time and wind down time before bed, and she is learning good sleep habits and independence as well. To be honest, the last thing I want is an overly clingy, high maintenance child who still wants to sleep in my bed when she is in kindergarten!! Just remember that while cosleeping is convenient now (and I know you need your sleep!) you are creating sleep habits that will be harder to break down the road, but ulitmately, you have to do what works for you. Good luck!

Only you can decise if it is right or wrong. My concern with an infant is suffucating them. Yes, it can and does happen. I have worked in emergency medicine for over 20yrs and have seen it too many times. But with your son being older is less likely for that to occur. But how can you and your husband be intimate with him in your bed? It seems to me that having your child in your bed would be a great form of birth control. lol And at what age do you put them in their own bed to learn to be alone and comfort themselves?
Just curious.

i am a 23 yr old mom of 3 little ones.. my oldest is 4.. Gabriel i have a daughter adalynne who is 2 and the newest baby is Kaden.. he is 4 1/2 months old..

With Gabriel.. he slept in a crib the whole first year of his life.. then.. we moved.. and he slept in a play pen cause we moved from AZ to Utah.. not fun.. we were living with my grandmother in law... and she didn't have room for the crib... so he had to sleep in the play pen... then about a month later.. we came back home.. and we were staying with my grandmother.. Gabriel had to sleep on the floor then he would get up and sleep with me on the couch.. so he got used to sleep next to me.. and it was like that for quite a few months.. so then.. for the first few months of being in our new apartment.. which i was pregnant also... he slept in our bed.. then about 6 months or so after.... i just started making him sleep in the other room.. he was alone.. and he hated it.. so i would let him in our bed sometimes.. but for the most part.. he started sleeping in that room on his own...

now.. when my daughter got older.. there was no problem.. she slept in the room just fine.. never had to sleep in the bed with us.. which is great... and Kaden.. i hope is the same way..

Cause it was nice to have him there.. but kinda inconvenient also.... cause he was right next to me.. and i couldn't sleep the way i wanted to.. after i had my daughter.. and well.. it just wasn't cool.. :0) so i say.. if you can get them in their own bed.. great.. cause then you can have privacy.. even if you miss them.. you know that they are growing and getting bigger and they will come in and wake you up in the morning wanting to be by you... instead of hogging half the bed, pillows and blankets at night! :)

Sorry for the big long drawn out explanation.. hope that shines some light on things...

T.