Co-worker from Hell

Updated on July 16, 2010
B.W. asks from Flagstaff, AZ
11 answers

I have this co-worker who's always saying that I disappear for long periods of time when in fact I am here at work. Then yesterday, instead of checking my calendar to see that I was at a long awaited doctor's appointment (took 1-1/2 months to get in) he texted me asking if I was going to be in and that he needed me to do analysis for him. He acted frantic but the day before he said that I could do it whenever. Then when I came to work after the early morning appointment he gave me the silent treatment. This is not the first thing he's done and I can only pray that it is the last. What can I do? In my company there is peer review and compensation is based on that.

What can I do next?

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Make him put all his requests to you in writing and save everything. If he calls you have it roll into voicemail and save that too. Document every dealing with this person and go to HR if it continues. I use to have a coworker that did the same thing and through my documentation it showed the bosses that the problem was him and not me. Without that documentation it would have been he said/she said.

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

So sorry Becky. This sounds intentional. He's trying to portray to the powers that be that he is the nice guy trying to help you out. He either wants something (like the kudos you get for a good job OR your job) or he simply doesn't like you or he gets a buzz from manipulation. If I were the boss I would see right through it, but not all bosses do, especially men.

Document everything and everywhere you are through out the day. It will become an issue at some point. Mention to other co-workers when you are stepping away from your desk. "I'm going to personnel, I'll be back in 10 minutes." Then say hello to the person you told and document when you get back. You need back up. I wouldn't express this to anyone, except maybe your boss when you feel it's appropriate, because someone may get the impression you are trying the same tactics on him. I've been there. I did the corporate world for 20 years and there is always someone like this lurking. I'm sure most folks think he's a nice guy too.

Do the best you can and hopefully he'll trip over his own lie.....

M.

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Fight fire with fire. If it's peer review, then make sure that you give him a bad review. Make sure that you state that he is a troublemaker and that he is disorganized (freaking out at the last minute is VERY disorganized). Make sure you state that he doesn't budget time well and that he is using his work time to cause trouble for everyone else instead of focusing on the work he's supposed to be doing.

You should also try talking to human resources about him. Maybe file a complaint about him accusing you of improper conduct. Make sure you have facts and evidence to support your claim that you are actually there when he says you're not.

You have to call this guy out. Don't just put up with it. This is your job. This is important. You have to stand up for yourself. If his behavior is going to ultimately endanger his job, don't feel bad about that. He's a big boy and he should have thought about that before he started messing with you. It sounds like your workplace would be better off without him anyways.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Becky,

Is this man a co-worker or your boss? If he's just a co-worker, tell him not to call or text you on your private phone. If he would like to have a sit down with you and your "real" boss that would be great! I would also request a private meeting with your boss to discuss what's been going on and get things straightened out.

Blessings.....

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Was my former co-worker hired by you guys? Just a joke...
Here is my take on it:
- first of all document ALL instances in which you were being harassed, or anything said that was not true.
- second: speak to your supervisor right away.
I was bullied in the workplace for the last almost two years, and this person had bullied other people before me (and I have enabled it by not speaking up sooner!).The one lesson I have taken away is to speak up as soon as you notice something is amiss, especially when your evaluation depends on it.
Ideally you would address the co worker first, but you may not feel safe to do so, since it's been going on for a while.
Address it to your boss in a non-confronting way ("I don't know what's amiss, but I feel....") and ask that your boss may mediate the situation.
Typically, especially in a team driven environment, you boss has a vested interest to make everybody get along.
Good luck!

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I think you need to approach him and ask him if he needed you here the other day then why did he tell you to schedule your doctor's appointment for anytime?
Also I know you said peer review is he the only one that has this impression of you and does he influence the others? Do you have someone OVER him to go to and explain to yourself the situation(s)?
Other than that you are going to have to go straight to the source no matter what. As long as you have a mature unemotional and adult like conversation then I am sure it can be resolved unless he is the immature one and if he is I don't know that too much would change unless the others recognized that HE was actually the problem so you might could try pointing that out without making it too obvious that is what you are trying to do because then everyone will just think you are trying to be malicious.

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M.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Are you his subordinate? If not, then he should not be able to influence your review to a great extent. Talk to your manager/supervisor, and explain that you are having a slight issue with him and you're not sure why.
Also, if you are not his subordinate, why would he expect you to do his work? That is something I would mention in YOUR peer review! Document each time you feel that he is giving you a hard time, and take it to your manager after that. Good luck!

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

misunderstands often run rampant in the work place. As for a meeting with him and your supervisor. Not to complain but to learn how you can work better together.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's a passive / aggressive power play. Document everything. Get everything from him in writing. I had a boss who would never talk to you about anything all day long, but 5 min before quitting time - it never failed - NOW he wanted to talk to you about something urgent - JUST to make you stay 1/2 hr to 3/4 hr longer in the afternoon. It didn't matter that I was the first one in the office every morning (I'd be the one to turn on all the lights). It didn't matter I ate lunches at my desk. It finally stopped when I was pregnant. He asked to see me at the end of the day as usual, and I'd tell him I'll be right with him right after I visited the ladies room. Apparently he really hated waiting for anyone who needed the bathroom because he never asked for me at quitting time again. You have to be careful with control freaks especially if they are in a position of power over you.

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D.P.

answers from Tucson on

I would first talk to your manager, or if he is the one complaining, talk to the HR representative in your company about the problem. You can go to the manager above the person that is complaining as well. You should not get docked for necessary doctor appointments that have been posted on you schedule. You should also get to review the review you get and be able to comment on it. That will sometimes kick it into a re-review if you can come up with enough legitimate rebuttals to anything that is bad on it.

D. P.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I must have his clone at my old work place. I was fired and ended up taking leagal action so I could retire. (I was fired 6 days before I could retire.) If I'd have documented it he might have been the one to have to quit or be fired.

If he says you are leaving early, time stamp something before you go home for the day. Document, Document, Document. When he accuses you of not being there (like your appointment) when he needed you tell him in a letter that he called and you had already told him about your doctor's appointment or what ever the situation is. Bcc your boss. (bcc=blind carbon copy)

Good luck to you and yours.

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