Collecting for Teacher Gifts...

Eh--usually I like to do something on my own.

I have seen first hand, a room mother, actually SAY "XYZ only gave $5 toward the gift.." or "...who CAN'T give $10?"

!!!!!??????

I have seen parents say "Well, if the kids don't contribute, their name shouldn't be on the card."

!!!!!!!!?????????

I have been IN the position of deciding "what" to get that everyone will agree on.

It's a NIGHTMARE.

If people are obtuse enough to think that THEIR chosen coffee mug is the O. a teacher has been waiting for her whole life--whatever.

I do gift cards for the teachers and student teachers.
I mark it from my son, myself and my husband and include a note of thanks for all they do.

I have teachers in the family and a gift card for gas, food, coffee, Target, school supply stores, etc. is what they WANT. I think the note of thanks is what they NEED.

I agree that I'd be uncomfortable asking all parents to pitch in unless I personally knew them all. Rule of thumb, usually asking for money is tacky. Also, if I was asked I have to admit I'd be wondering how I could be sure it was used the way it was promised, etc. If I were involved in this I would want to stick to doing just a kids book exchange and if parents want to give a teacher gift that is their own decision.

Wow to the parents that do not trust that their money would really go towards the teacher gift but in a parents pocket, I wonder if you will ever be trusted by others?

Good Grief. These parents are offering to do you all a favor and somehow you do not think the people that parent your children's classmates are reliable? Then collect the money yourself.

There is nothing tacky about offering to all go in together for a gift. These children spend more awake time with each other and their teacher during the school year than with their families. Of course they are close and it is very appropriate that they and their families would join together to gift the teacher all together.

Listen to the teachers.. They do not want bath stuff, candles, scrap books, mugs, apple decorated things, school decorated things. They would love a note from you and your children..Honest.. They keep these notes and cards.

If you do want to give them a gift they appreciate gift cards to the teacher supply store for their classrooms or gift cards to treat themselves to coffee, book stores.. restaurants, the movies.. etc..

I have posted many times about how I saw it with my own eyes at a school Garage Sale the stacks of this stuff the teachers had never even used once.. Still in the gift bags, the cellophane, folded, uneaten.. All I know given with the best intentions, but just too much stuff.

Sorry for the vent, but I just do not understand how parents get such negative ideas about others and yet do not step forward to handle these things if they cannot trust others.

I initiated this idea among the parents from my daughter's preschool class last year. I sent an email to all the parents asking if anyone would be interesed in combining the money they might have otherwise spent on a gift for the teachers (2 of them). I suggested right away that we use the money for a gift certificate to a popular outdoor mall, that can be used for several different restaurants, a movie theater, ice cream, department and other stores, etc. Out of 18 students, 16 of the parents LOVED the idea, and contributed. Most of them said they were glad to have someone take care of it, and thought the teacher would really appreciate the useful larger gift. One parent said that she had been proactive and had bought gifts already, but otherwise she would have participated. I refused to put an amount, because I didn't want anyone to feel limited or pressured. Everyone gave what they wanted. We were able to give each teacher a $165 gift card. What teacher wouldn't love that?? I included a card with each child's name that participated. I didn't say it was from everyone... I am doing it again this year, and again, most of the parents are on board.

The giftcard idea comes from 30 years with 30 students each year giving mugs 3 times a year (xmas, end of year, teacher's day, birthday, valentines day =5, but kids never give all 5) = 2,700 coffee mugs.

Or split into 3 groups (mugs, bath stuff, knicknacks) =
900 mugs
900 sets of bath stuff
900 knicknacks

No one needs that much stuff... so gift cards have saved the day. Also, because some kids are very poor, the communal gift = the whole CLASS and everyone can feel a part of, instead of the 2 or 3 kids who always feel left out because they can't afford food for their own families to eat, much less be buying $5 (a week's worth of food) gifts for their teacher. No matter HOW much they love them.

Give the note for SURE... but gift cards are reeeeeally the way to go towards showing teachers how much you appreciate them!!!

If you don't want to deal with donations, then just send out a little note saying "btw, please don't forget to show your appreciation in someway for Ms. Betty for teaching our precious children this year".

You might want to include a list of "favorite things" from the teacher w/the note, like favorite resturaunt, favorite beverage, favorite store, favorite past time or hobbies, etc., so the parents can get an appropriate gift.

I would also be uncomfortable asking others for donations. I always preferred to give an individual gift if at all.

I do NOT like the idea of contributing to a class gift. In our community I know there are many families that can not afford to give even $1. Then you may have the situation where you really like this teacher and feel they deserve a great gift, and there may be other parents who don't care for this teacher and don't want to give a gift. Then there are the parents who just don't care. If a child/family doesn't contribute does that child's name go on the card? Is that fair to all?

"You know, if you want to go with that idea, you could put something out for families who would be more interested. I've already planned on gifts for the teachers, and some other families might have also. Would you like to organize the teacher gifts for those who want to contribute?"

Let that 'other mom' be the one to take it on. Some families mayn't be able to afford monetary gifts. Some families might be like you, already having ideas about what they'd like to give. Others might like the option of just chipping in and not having to shop.

I've been a preschool teacher for a long time and have always really enjoyed handmade gifts or more personal tokens of appreciation. So a variety of gifts isn't a bad thing at all.

When my kids were/are in lower grades, there is usually a room parent who will step up and coordinate a group gift. Sometimes I've participated, and sometimes I haven't because I've already planned something else. I never felt pressured and always welcomed the idea.

That said, you may want to (or encourage the person who suggested this and try to get her take charge of it) check with the school's policy on gifts. State laws changed here a couple of years ago that make gift giving kind of a tricky pain in the neck for the teachers, who have to fill out a form listing all gifts received. Here are the actual rules:

* Gifts worth more than $50 are prohibited, unless they are class gifts;
* Class gifts may be worth up to $150 from current students and/or their parents. Such gifts require no disclosure but cannot include the names of individual donors and/or the amount they contributed to the gift;
* Gifts that are meant for classroom use and become the property of the school are also exempt from disclosure requirements;
* Any public school educator who receives a gift of any value from the parent of a current student must make a disclosure. Disclosures should be made to the superintendent of the school district.

So anyway...check with the school first because you never know if there is some crazy regulation in place!

Good luck on this one. I you get HALF of them to pitch in consider it a victory.

Hello Jodi (and other moms who might be interested),

Our school has an account with Manna so that anytime we buy gift cards through their site, a portion of it, goes to our school. Here's the site to learn more: (It's an easy way for the school to earn money.)
http://www.mannaorders.net/scripts/mgrqispi94.dll?APPNAME...

So most of the room moms ask for a contribution of $5 to $10 a child. I just put $10 in an envelope today so my daughter will hand it over to the girl's mom tomorrow. I don't have a problem with pitching in. I will still get my daughter's teacher her own gift for about $10 to $15. Teachers do so MUCH for our kids and it's a little way to say thanks to them. The letter I read tonight stresses the fact that the may decide to opt out and that's totally okay. She does mention that some parents prefer to get their own gifts, but it's an option if we decide to participate. Usually 75% or moreof the parents for each room contribute. I am also one of the families who pitches in $25 to buy gift cards for the principal, nurse, secretaries, art teacher, custodians, computer lab teacher and PE teacher. All of the money collected gets split and then the mom in charge buys them gift cards through Manna.
I used to be a little bit skeptical thinking.... hmmm.... some might not contribute to the classroom teacher, yet the room mom does not specify who contributed. Rather, she presents the gift (almost always a gift card(s) to the teacher at the Winter Holiday Party and says it's from "your students". Well... it doesn't bother me anymore because most do pitch in and the ones who don't might have financial hardships so much that they just couldn't pitch in. (But... maybe they might help the teacher with stapling books, cutting patterns out, organizing the monthly book club orders, etc.)

well...

As a teacher, one larger gift is very nice.

As a mom, sometimes we want the recognition. and less hassel.

What might help me decide, is if I feel like the other parents would be able and willing to chip in. if there are only going to be 4 of you contributing then you might just as well do it yourself. But if you can get half the class then it's worth it. The more upperclass preschools i've been involved with woudl no doubt have contrubuted, the lower income schools there would be two parents at most. If you are past 3rd grade, i doubt you would get it.

maybe if this other mom is willing to really make the decisions and take care of it all, it might be ok.

Edited: man, i'm surprised at all the no's you are getting. I've looked at group gifts like this as easier on me so i don't have to decide what to get, go get it, wrap it etc. plus i can contribute a little less but the over all gift is still nicer than what i would have afforded on my own. just wanted to throw that out there that it would be appealign to some parents.

Edited again: Just a thought, maybe you could let the parents know no who but how many participated and what the total was. Just in case you get a teacher that doesn't understand the importance of thank you notes.

I did that with my daughters daycare center teachers. The daycare was closing cause they just didn't have the funds to stay running. I wanted to get a photo book for each of the teachers. I thought it would be a excellent goodbye gift and they would have a memory book of their last students. There were 16 kids and the books were $30.00 plus tax. I asked each of the parents for $2.00 plus a childs picture. They didn't really have to give the $2 just a picture if they wanted too. I only got 7 out of the 16 to contribute. The teachers were thrilled with the books and I had some of the other parents ask why their child wasn't in the book. I had to tell them that they never gave me a picture to add. It was kind of aggrevating and I had to contibute my time (which I had no problem with) and the majority of the $ to do the books. I enjoyed the look on their face but was disappointed that the other parents didn't contribute. You are better off doing it on your own. Too much work in combining the gifts. Plus like you said you would have to collect all the money. Sometimes its just not worth it.

I can't stand the group gift to be honest. There are people who don't donate and that's their business but sorry, then how is it from the whole class? I think a gift should be each family's own business. I definitely give gifts (gift cards etc) but also don't think they should be "required". And if it's not "required", then I get sick of subsidizing the parents who don't donate. Where we live, it really is hard to believe that people can't afford $5 or $10. And if that's the case, it's maybe one family per class. But I don't think they're the only ones not donating... So I think it should be left up to each individual family to handle as they want.