Hi, L.!
I am a retired teacher and I have seen this competition game played at various levels throughout my career. Actually, it is not limited to grade school or children and teenagers. Adults are most competitive, and they can be just as cruel, inconsiderate, and insensitive as the younger ones. However, on the younger level, there is a bit more that you can do to change the situation.
First, you can go to your son's teacher and ask her to speak to all of her students about hurting one another feelings and self-esteem when they constantly refer to a classmate's failings. Most teachers, if they are on their toes at all, are very much aware of the taunts, teasing, and ribbing that go on among their students. They also know the pecking order, who is the most popular, the cutest, the best at sports, etc., according to popular opinion in the classroom. But, just in case his teacher doesn't know all this or if she has failed or is refusing to do anything about it, request, strongly advise, or whatever you have to do to get her involved in reversing this trend. Also share with his teacher something interesting or noteworthy about your son, something that he knows quite a bit about or something that he does really well or is really good at. If you can't think of anything, teach him to do something or encourage him to learn about something that he knows the guys his age would be interested in: space, astronauts, animals, etc. If he's very young, ask him what the guys think is really cool and get a book on it or look it up online and tell him about it. Then ask the teacher to allow a time for all students(because you don't want the class to think that this is just for you son; that would be worse) to share with the class their own special things or topics. If you have friends in special fields like biologists, biochemists, policemen, firemen, etc.,boys are bound to be excited about having your son's "friend" come and show them some really neat things or experiences from his work. If his teacher is not very approachable, you can maybe appeal to other teachers in the school that you know, or, if necessary, the principal. It is just that important.
Next, you can find stories about people and animals that are not very popular, or don't seem to be worth much to humanity,not very attractive, not really good at sports,don't seem to be worth much to humanity, etc., who have shown the world that they were still special in their own way and earned the respect of their peers in time. You might look up the story of Albert Einstein. Many do not know that he had problems in school and his teacher didn't think very highly of him. However, Einstein is one of the greatest,if not the greatest, scientific mind that ever existed. Bees are not anyone's pets, generally, and no one thinks very much of the bees, except when they are stung, however, as seen the Bee Movie, not only flowers, but fruits and vegetables, herbs, and other vegetation depend on bees for for their very existence. We would not have fruits and vegetables to eat or honey if it were not for the lowly bees.
Finally, point out the good qualities your son has and tell him how much you appreciate them. Let him know that he is special to you, your family, and God, because God made only one of him. The whole world determines value by how scarce a thing is, and there is only one of him. Also make a point of commending him for a job well done and/or a job completed, his thoughfulness, and unselfishness.
I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
D.
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