For the last 3 years my kids, my husband, and I have enjoyed having our own seperate computers. My kids have their computers in their bedrooms. I've talked to my children about stranger danger on the computers and such and even made them watch news stories about myspace and such. Anyway, the other day I went into my daughter's room and she shut off the screen. I asked her what she was hiding and to make a long story short and polite she wouldn't give me an answer.
My sister says I should take away the computers from both kids and ground her from any computer for a year but when doing school work. Autumn is a brilliant child who is so focused on School, Church & Reading that I hate to take the computer away.
What do you suggest?
Leave it in the room; take the door off her room. She is a teen and privacy is a privlage not a given. She needs to learn that lesson. I would have issues if the same thing happened with my boyfriend or son when he is older.
Your daughter could have been writing a letter that was private or she could have been on the internet. We have been taught that internet capable computers should be kept in open areas for kids to access and parents to be able to monitor. However, there are options. We have a hardwire network supplemented by a wireless network. Our daughter is the wireless part and has to get a card from us when she is on the internet. This way we know when she is on-line and can monitor accordingly. I have no reason not to trust her but it's others I do not trust and when I know she is on-line I am much more aware. Our internet provider allows us to monitor her access. It tells us where she goes and how long she is on each site. We can print a history for the time period (daily, weekly, monthly). If wireless is not an option, you can also check the history on your daughter's computer if you are worried.
She sounds like a great kid and taking the computer out may be a little drastic, but if you feel the need to check her computer - you have that option.
Good luck,
T.
I agree that computers for kids of any age should be in a common area. At their age they shouldn't be looking at anything anyone else couldn't see. Second I also agree the talk about what you expect from them when it comes to the computer and also that there is no hiding information from the parents as to what they are doing on the computer is in order. But also here is some information for you to know. In every internet browser there is a way to view the history of what sites were looked at on the internet and the browser usually holds that for a few days or weeks depending on how it is set. That (History) is usually up in the menu somewhere. Also there are programs you can put on your childs computers that record what your child dose on the internet and/or email and you can go back at your leisure and review. That you can get at any computer store in the area. Good luck.
Hi A.,
Your kids will totally rebel against this BUT, how about setting their computers up in common areas of your house such as the living room or dining room. Our "mom feelings" are far too often right on the money, so if you suspect something is not right, you are most likely correct.
When your children are living under your roof, you have every right to protect them. Having unsupervised access to the internet is a very bad idea...no matter how responsible you feel your kiddos are.
Do what you feel is right in your gut. (BTW, I don't see a need to ground her from the computer....maybe just make her access to it less private)
I would just advise removing the computers from the kids bedrooms. I've always heard to keep them in a public room in your house. I think your sister's suggestion is a little too harsh as you don't know what she was actually doing - but action probably needs to be taken either way.
Good luck!
I agree with the other posters - that the computers should not be in their bedrooms. Even the best kids can be lured by someone who's just "showing affection" or whatever. I bet most mom's of children who were lured by sex offenders on the internet would have never suspected their child to fall for such a horrendous situation. Kids are vulnerable, and we need to treat them as such. Grounding for a year is a little harsh, but moving the computers to a common area is a good idea.
We have our family computer in our game room, which also serves as a T.V. room where my kiddos, hubby and I spend most of our evenings. My nine year old knows she's not allowed to get on the computer unless my huband or I are up in the room with her. She has asked for her own laptop for her room, but she already understands that at least through high school, the computer will remain in the game room. We've explained to her that it's not necessarily because we don't trust her, but that it's all the wack-o's out there that we're concerned about. It's not a 100% preventative, but it increases the chances that she won't be communicating with someone she shouldn't be when we're within 6 feet of her and the computer.
My thought is to ask her what she was doing and explain that it is because you care that you are asking. Reminding her that a computer is not a right and therefore she will have to earn your trust to keep it might be an idea as well. There is a difference b/t a computer w/internet and w/o...so why not take the internet part away for a week and see if her attitude changes?
Just my thoughts
C.
Hi A.,
I have to say my two boys are 11 and 7 this year and each have a computer in thier rooms for activities only...no internet. My husband and I agree they need a computer these days to write papers etc. however if the internet is needed then so are we as parents to monitor. So,I would suggest taking the internet away and have it only in one area of the house where only your husband and yourself know the password to log on. Good luck...beilieve in yourself, you'll make the best decision for your family. Prayers, D.
We keep our computer in the family room where everyone is allowed to see what everyone else is looking at on the computer. My husband and I have already agreed to not let our children ever have tv's or computers in their bedrooms. It's a danger zone on the internet. Kids can get into literally ANYTHING on the internet. I would absolutely get the computer out of the bedroom. Also, there is something called Bee Safe Online that allows you to monitor all activity on any computer in the home. I would highly recommend this. Good luck!
I would highly recommend taking the computers out of the bedrooms and keeping them out in a very public place.
If she can't show you what she was up to/doing/looking at, then that is a warning sign.
Good luck!
My daughter is only 4 but I we are going to keep the computer in the family office for everyone to use. I think its a safe way to moniter what your kids are doing and will diture them for doing things they shouldnt b/c its not in the privacy of their own rooms. I feel if I just leave it where it has always been when she gets older she wont notice the difference and think anything different of it. I wish that all the bad websites and prowlers werent something we had to think about and the kids could enjoy looking up things and playing games but thats not the case these days and thats truly sad.
