Hello, well I have a friend, supposed to be one of my best friends, but she is very conceited and very self-conscious. You can tell she is uncomfortable with her body so she always finds a way to add some ignorant comment about someone else and how bad they may look or act in order to boost herself up. I really didn't pay attention to it until recently because I had just started hanging out with her more often. I was out of town visiting family and a mutual friend of ours calls me and says that this girl said she thinks I just started being serious about my marriage after my son was born, who is 1.5 years. Her reasoning for this is that when we go out and if a guy tries to talk to me, I will start by saying I'm married so they will leave me alone. But if the guy still presses, I say I'm involved with a woman and believe it or not they actually leave me alone. I have nothing against people who are like that, but a lot of guys do not care when I say married, so I find saying the other shuts them up. I've been saying that since I got married, before my son was born and even after he is born. Then she said I give guys my number too so I really don't appreciate my marriage, knowing it's completely untrue. So I called her out on it, I called her up, of course I was mad and cussed her out. She said instead of getting mad and accusing her, I should have been woman enough to ASK her what she said. After I yelled and cussed, I asked if I'm getting it wrong, tell me what you said then...and she said exactly what the other friend said. Her words, "I'm just saying what I observe." I asked when have you ever seen me tak e anumber or give my number? she said never, she has never seen me do that. I told her then why say something like that, you need to get your facts straight. I told her I don't appreciate being called out of my marriage, when I am very serious about it and have never led a guy on or took his number nor gave my number, I always give them a fake name anyways because I could care less about another guy. She apologized but said well I would appreciate if you hadn't jumped to assumptions. How am I assuming when she admitted to saying what I was told? There's no assuming at a fault, then she said she's not mad at the mutual friend for telling me, but completely disappointed that I blew up at what she said and called her stupid and cussed her out. I really am done with her, I don't want to speak to her anymore, but apparently she wants to talk to me and is still saying this is all my fault. I know if I talk to her, she will come up with more excuses and then I will feel like knocking the s*** out of her. I can visualize me choking her. Should I just continue to avoid her? talk to her? especially if she's still blaming me for what she said.
Thank you all for your responses. A lot of you made me think about how I am playing games right along with her and just allowing myself to be involved in nonsense. I thank you for the very blunt responses too, I can't believe I've been entertaining this for so long, my priorities are seriously out of order if I'm concerned with what she has to say knowing it's not true. I've decided to just let it go and move on, there's bigger things in life to worry about, like my family.
I don't see how she is a friend, cut her loose. The one thing that sticks out to me is she does not feel she is wrong, so what's the point of meeting. Good luck!!!
How old are all of you again? I don't get the conceited thing. I do think your "mutual friend" isn't really a friend. What kind of "friend" calls you to tell you what another "friend" is saying about you? And what kind of "friend" says things behind your back? And what kind of "friend" wants to knock the s*** out of her best friend? You all need to find new friends, because not one of you (you included) is being a good friend. How about you work on being a totally involved parent and wife instead of this drama-queen nonsense. What a waste of time when you have kids.
Stop speaking to her.
Stop putting yourself in situations where guys are hitting on you (are we talking bars or on line at the grocery store?)
I don't understand... your title says "conceited friend" but this isn't about her being conceited. It's about her being a crappy friend, and more importantly it's about you allowing her to upset you. You know the truth in your heart so why do you care what soeone else says about you? Assuming you aren't 12 anymore, who cares what your so-called friends are saying behind your back? I mean really. Yes, it sucks if someone is saying lies about you and talking trash about you, but you're really that upset that you visualize choking her? Really? Come on. Dump her as a friend and focus on being your child's mommy and move on with your life.
Seems like you are playing games as well as she.
Distance yourself from her and avoid gossip. If others try to get you to say this or that about some other person just say I have nothing to say about this and change the subject. You have the ball in your court. Be the bigger person.
those words of her could get to your husband and then you'll have bigger problems. why are you even giving her a chance to even breathe let alone talk. cut her loose.
This woman is not a good friend, but calling her and cussing her out going back and forth........it won't get you anywhere. It's not good for you and I don't believe it will get you anywhere with your "friend."
Don't worry about what other people are saying or doing. Back away from this gal. When you run into her no reason not to be polite, but don't be sucked back into any kind of friendship. Yes, avoid her when you can, but I would strongly recommend you stop trying to defend yourself to her or anyone else. It will only fuel the fire. Just back off.
Honey, trust me, you need to get this emotionally destructive woman out of your life. I have always had crappy luck with friends, which is why I have ZERO girlfriends, and trust me, I miss so dearly that female bond but it's not worth the aggravation. I also had a friend almost exactly like the one you are describing, if not worse. You know what I figured out it was? Jealousy. My friend always made comments behind my back, she'd try to make everyone think I was a certain kind of person, she was so jealous of me it killed her. We stopped talking for awhile because of it, and during the few month span of not talking to her I was dieting and exercising daily and lost 50 pounds. The next time she saw me she was constantly making comments about my body out of pure jealousy like " oh what are you a size small now" and " well looks like you can shop in the skinny bi*** section now" and I just looked at her and was shocked how purely jealous she was of me and everything I had in my life. When she found out I was pregnant she made a big scene about how happy she was being single and how she wasn't ready to give up boys and alcohol and how she felt "free", (trying to rub it in my face and make me feel bad about my pregnancy) which totally is irrelevant to me because I'm in a happy relationship. But anyways, to this day I feel like if I could beat the he** out of her and get away with it I wouldnt think twice. SO basically by what you've said in your post she sounds completely fake to me, I've seen women like that time and time again and I stay away from them. Trust me she'll make it seem like she's never in the wrong, like you can trust her, like she's wonderful, and all the other stuff but please trust me on this, if she's proven herself to be this way time and again, then she will never change unless something drastic happens in her life. These people that are so called "friends" not only bring themselves down but bring you down as well. I wish you luck on finding genuine, real people to be around, I know they are hard to find.
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Leave that person alone, she is not on your level of maturity and may never get there. Obviously she still does not get it, she has some deep seeded issues she needs to take care of before she can be a friend to anyone. Hope you can find peace with this situation.
With friends like that who needs enemies! Dump her!
Sounds like this friend needs to stir up drama. If you don't appreciate all this drama I say avoid this person. I also agree with the posts that say this could really hurt your husband/marriage. With that being said I would totally avoid this friendship and tell my husband myself what this girl is saying. I think it would be easier for him to hear this from you and get the truth right up front then hear it from another source that has the facts twisted. I can sense the anger, frustration, and confusion in your post. I am sorry that she has evoked these feelings. Hang in there and make different friends. I don't think I would ever be able to trust this person again.
M., this woman is toxic. Her own insecurity is what makes her such a miserable and unpleasant person. Hurting others makes her feel better about herself and she thrives off the drama that her nastiness creates. Run, do not walk, away from this woman. Prepare yourself for her to continue to talk behind your back. hopefully your mutual friends will see her for what she is. Good luck!
