We had our 11yo son in public school from K till last year. In 4th grade last year, he started public but OMW he came home every day for 2 straight weeks just in rages and overwhelmed, crying, threatening to run away, just stressed beyond words. Seems they had a huge increase in enrollment so they had 6-4th grade classes which them moved them all out to portables. Then he got a big male teacher with a deep booming voice that was not accustomed to the loudness that is a metal building. Add on top of that the man is dyslexic so the children had to switch classrooms for reading/spelling. AND to make matters even more unbearable for him...they cut PE from 5 days a week to 2. So we pulled him out and homeschooled him.
He was diagnosed last month with Aspergers Syndrome after lots of things we've noticed about him this last year, and possible ADD. There was no way I could get him ready from the time of diagnosis till school started last week, so we're homeschooling him again this year.
He's 8, still young and it has been my experience (and I have homeschooled all 5 of my kids, we put the last 3 in public in 2005) that often parents make the mistake of bringing school...home. Very rigid without much flexibility or teaching to the childs strengths. Not condoning allowing him total control here, just saying, find out what kind of learner he is, does he do better with orally rather than writing everything in workbooks? Is he a hands on learner? Is there something he's very interested in that maybe you can build around, like my son is an addict of WWII History.
Also try and find a local coop group that you can join. We were always involved in that and my kids took classes such as Science, Spanish, Latin, Music, Drama, Art, and History. We met every Friday for 1/2 day for 12 weeks in Fall and 12 in Spring. It was a great way to get around other homeschoolers and to allow them to be taught by someone else and the support of the other Mom's was invaluable.
Don't listen to in-laws, they don't know your child like you do. My Mom was after me all the time to put my kids in school but with this child I don't know that we ever will. I know what's best for him and I had to finally tell them that I loved them, but they're my children and if they can't support that, then please don't discuss it with them around, as it would undermine what we were doing.
READ READ READ a lot to your son. There's a neat free curriculum online called http://letteroftheweek.com/ that you might find very enjoyable. I used that for preschool/Kindergarten with great success.
School one on one wont be long per day so don't let that make you feel you're not getting the job done or others to make you feel you're not doing it right. Oh one last thing, our school district is required by law (as I suppose all are) to provide services to my son even if he's not in school, as long as we live in the district. So we're going through them this year for therapy, just starting that process, and hope to get him the help he needs that way. I told him we'd probably go to the school a few hours each week but not all the time and he seems good with that.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with the doctors. Call up the school administration or go online and see if you can get help through them. Best of luck.