Crib Sleeping

I had this same problem with my third child. So what I did was let her play in her crib while she was awake to kind of get used to being in there. Then when it was time for her to go down I would put her in the crib while she was still half awake, and talked to her and patted her back until she was out it takes a bit of patience but after about a week she fell asleep on her own. Good Luck!

I agree with the other moms... it's a bad thing to let the baby sleep in bed with you. I let my daugther sleep in my bed too when she was an infant, but knew I needed to get her out of the habit. I did like most of the others say... let her cry it out, and eventually she started sleeping in her crib on her own. I too stood in the door way and let her know she was ok, mommy and daddy are right in the other room. I don't know if that's what got her to break the habit, or just the fact that I didn't take her out of the crib once I put her down and she eventually got used to it. I'm having the same issue again 3 years later though... and it's tougher now because she jsut gets up and crawls in my bed. Half the time I don't even know she's there untill I wake up the next morning, because she thinks she's slick and doesn't even wake me up anymore. But when I wake up, it's back to the old outine, I tell her to go back in her bed, and if she cries, I don't give in.

My son slept with me for the fist 10 months of his life; it helped me out a lot. Then I had him CIO at age 10months, after 4-5 days, he went right into the routine I set for his sleeping schedule. Anyways...nothing wrong with it. But, here is an article...and I hope that it helps...

Here is an article on Sleeping Through the Night

Getting Baby to Sleep Through the Night: All babies will fall asleep eventually. Some just need a little more help than others.
By Barbara Solomon

Pulling Baby out of the Crib
Up to the time he was 10 months old, my son David had always been a good sleeper. Then my family moved into a new house, and all of a sudden, all bets were off. He began waking two, sometimes three times a night. I was sure he was just unsettled by the change and would return to his old ways soon. But after we tried every trick in the book only to suffer more sleepless nights, we caved in. One night when he called out, I scooped him up and brought him into our bed. We all slept soundly, and I was feeling pretty good -- until I spoke with a friend later that morning.

"Don't you know that you've opened a can of worms?" she scolded. "Now you'll never get him back into his crib!"

Picturing endless sleepless nights ahead, I panicked, and it's no wonder. Getting a baby to sleep consistently through the night can seem like the ultimate unattainable goal. But after I spent just a few nights leaving my son in his crib when he cried for me and gently encouraging him -- "You're okay, David, just go back to sleep!" -- from the hallway, he quickly resumed his old sleep habits. And experts say that with some patience and effort, most parents will be able to solve their child's sleeping problems, too.

The Impossible Dream
During the first weeks of life, you can't expect a baby to sleep through the night. In fact, there is no typical sleeping pattern for newborns; the only thing you can count on is that they sleep around the clock for varying periods, ranging from a few minutes to a few hours. So why can't they sleep consistently for long periods? Blame it all on biology. An immature brain is the primary reason.

"People have a genetic timing mechanism in their brain that controls sleep, and it takes time for that mechanism to develop," explains Marc Weissbluth, MD, professor of clinical pediatrics at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, in Chicago, and author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Ballantine, 1999). "Think of it like eye color: Babies are born with a genetic predisposition to a certain eye color, but it takes time for that color to be expressed."

A need to feed is another factor. Many experts believe that newborn babies have to eat frequently, particularly breastfed babies: There's no way to tell how much a breastfed baby is eating at each feeding, so breastfeeding mothers may be more likely to fully awaken a stirring baby to feed.

Bottlefed babies, on the other hand, may sleep for longer periods because formula takes longer to digest and leaves baby feeling fuller longer. "But babies who have birth defects and are fed continuously by tube for the first several weeks of life show the same process of sleep maturation as other babies," notes Dr. Weissbluth. He believes that ultimately, "Sleep comes from the brain, not the stomach."

Regardless of studies and experts, until she is at least 6 weeks old, a newborn baby will undoubtedly wake several times during the night. Around the 6-week mark, many babies show subtle signs of organizing their sleep. They may get drowsy at 6 or 7 p.m. and may sleep at night for consecutive blocks of four hours or more.

At about 3 months, most can adhere to a sleep schedule that includes a morning nap, an afternoon nap, and two or more longer blocks of sleep at night. According to a poll of primary caregivers by the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), a nonprofit organization, by 9 months some 70 to 80 percent of babies are sleeping a straight 9 to 12 hours every night.

That's great news -- unless yours is one of the 20 to 30 percent of babies who don't sleep so well. "My son was a horrible sleeper!" recalls Lisa Henahan of Peachtree City, Georgia. "Until he was 15 months, he would sleep for an hour and a half and then wake for an hour -- all night long!"

If your nights sound similar, rest assured, these tips can help parents solve a range of stubborn sleep problems.

Sleep Tight, Baby
To exhausted parents it seems that there are as many sleep issues as there are children. But most babies fall into the following categories:

"My 2-month-old son sleeps all day and is up all night."
A common phenomenon during the early weeks of life, day-night reversals often clear up with a little time and a lot of daylight. Try exposing your baby to bright light or sunshine in the morning hours and keep the lights dim in the evening. It also helps to move your baby to a busy part of the house throughout the day, play with him during the daytime, and wake him for daytime feedings.

Then, keep your interactions with him quiet and subdued at night. As babies approach the age of 6 weeks, they begin to respond more to environmental cues, so it helps to have a bedtime routine such as a bath and a song. It may take several weeks, and a baby this young still probably won't sleep through the night, but he may consolidate his sleep into two large blocks at night.

"My 7-month-old daughter won't sleep through the night. Why?"
From around 6 months on, a baby should be able to make it through the night without a middle-of-the-night feeding and without waking his parents. But that doesn't mean he's sleeping all those hours. The term "sleeping through the night" is misleading, points out Lawrence Balter, PhD, professor of applied psychology at New York University, in New York, and editor of Parenthood in America: An Encyclopedia (ABC-CLIO, 2000). "All people -- including babies -- wake and put themselves back to sleep several times a night without realizing it," he says. "That's something babies need to learn to do."

Some kids learn on their own; others need a little help. There are several ways to teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep. Most of them involve listening to some crying. So how do you stay focused amid the tears? Remember that crying isn't going to harm your baby. And the reward -- a good night's sleep for all -- is worth a few teary nights.

The Ferber Method
"My neighbor has recommended the Ferber method to help my 6-month-old sleep through the night. What is it?"
This method was developed by pediatric sleep expert Richard Ferber, MD, author of Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Simon & Schuster, 1986). He advises parents to check periodically on their baby when she awakens at night. Here's a sketch of how it works: On the first night, when you hear your baby cry, you go in, give her a reassuring pat, and then leave. If she's crying 5 minutes later, you repeat the process, but this time you wait 10 minutes before going in, increasing the time in five-minute increments. The second night, you start at 10 minutes. Dr. Ferber's system has worked for many families.

"We're trying the Ferber method for my 7-month-old, but I can't stand the crying. Is there another, less drastic way to sleep-train my baby?"
There are also ways of making gradual changes within the routine you already have, notes Jodi Mindell, PhD, associate director of the Sleep Disorders Center at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and author of Sleeping Through the Night (HarperCollins, 1997). If you've been putting your baby to sleep by rocking her in a chair, for example, start by just sitting in the chair together. "Then choose the next step -- putting your baby in his crib and holding his hand.

"A few days later, you can sit three feet away from your child's bed," Mindell says. Within a few weeks, you should be able to work yourself out of the bedroom.

"We've tried the Ferber method. My 6-month-old becomes enraged every time we go in to soothe him. Any suggestions?"
Some children respond better to a cold-turkey approach. If your baby cries, you don't go in her room (some parents call reassuringly from the hall). This is not for the faint of heart, and, as Balter points out, is better for younger babies. An 8-month-old may be able to sit or stand in her crib, which makes it hard for her to settle down if her calls aren't answered.

More Sleep Issues
"My 9-month-old insists on a 3 a.m. feeding. How can I get her to give it up?"
For many parents, a final obstacle to an uninterrupted night is that middle-of-the-night feeding. If your baby no longer needs to be fed at night (check with your pediatrician to be sure), simply stop giving him the bottle or breast when he calls for it. Alternatively, you can use a sequence of progressive steps, which might include offering him diluted formula or breast milk for a few nights and then gradually replacing it with water. He may not find it as appealing as milk, and, subsequently, won't cry for it.

"My 10-month-old son used to sleep through the night, but lately he's been waking up all the time."
Chances are, there's been some change, however subtle, in your child's routine. Everything from a vacation to an illness to an overnight guest can disrupt a young child's sleep schedule and cause her to awaken and need comforting. Some parents report that developmental milestones, such as learning to walk or use the potty, can also upset sleep patterns.

"When a child takes a developmental leap forward, neurons are firing and there are probably connections being made in the brain," says Mindell. "It's no wonder their sleep is disrupted." Most babies are also keen on practicing their new skills; when they wake in the night, sleep takes second place to getting up on all fours or babbling.

At times like this, you may need to repeat old steps, such as sitting in your baby's room for a few nights and gradually working your way back out. But don't despair; experts say children with established good sleep patterns will return to them pretty quickly.

"How can I get my 8-month-old to go to sleep at the same time every night?"
If your baby isn't sleepy at the same time every night, her daytime sleep routine may need tweaking. "Make sure to wake her at the same time each morning, keep naptimes consistent, and avoid letting baby nap after 4 p.m. A reasonable bedtime for a baby this age is around 7 or 7:30 p.m. If she wakes from a nap at 5:30, she's not going to be sleepy enough to go to bed then," says Mindell.

One strategy to avoid, however, is shortening her naps in the hope that this will make her sleepier at night. The fact is, overtired children have a hard time falling asleep. And evidence shows that babies aren't getting enough sleep as it is. Many experts recommend that infants ages 3 to 11 months get 14 to 15 hours of sleep daily, but according to the NSF poll, most babies get fewer than 13 hours.

Even if you've succeeded in creating a great sleeper, remember that every child occasionally has wakeful periods. When this happens, reassure yourself that you're not going to be sleepless forever. Says Peggy Nona, a Rochester, Minnesota, mother with two school-age girls, "I used to worry about getting them to bed at night; now I worry about getting them out in the morning!"

Barbara Solomon is a mother of three and a writer in Scarsdale, New York.

Originally published in American Baby magazine, July 2004.

In addition to that....

A local parenting coach wrote this:

I know that Dr. Ferber is less strict than he used to be about getting kids to sleep. However, his techniques are still very useful for kids that have actually taught themselves to stay up and/or to demand/expect a parent to be with them until they actually fall asleep. Also watch one of the Nanny TV shows for examples of being firm yet loving with setting limits.

Briefly, the basic idea is that you (1) stop paying any attention to your child after their bedtime--no hugs, kisses, stories and no yelling either. Just make believe they are little critters that you are putting back where they belong. and then, if necessary (2) let them cry themselves to sleep. Also, and actually first, develop a bedtime routine and STICK TO IT! Letting them cry is very hard, and against some people's principles. What we did when my daughter was little (she is now 21) was put her to bed with the musical mobile playing. If she was still crying when the music stopped (less than 5 minutes) we would go in to her. This happened very rarely. I felt that a short period of crying was not a trauma and having her go to sleep on her own was a learned response. It worked and we had very few bedtime hassles.

Good luck,

Marion
Coach and parent
Marion C. Bloch, Psy. D.
____@____.com
www.mayaresources.com

Hi L.,

Does your daughter sleep anywhere else comfortably? Like her car seat or swing? Maybe she likes to sleep at an incline? I would try raising the head of crib with a pillow under her mattress. My daughter responded well to this at her age. The other time she slept well was when we just let her sleep in her car seat. While not optimal, it let everyone get some much needed sleep. We eventually moved the portable baby seat into the crib, so she got used to being in there. Then we inclined the mattress.

I hope she gets used to the crib soon. Good luck!

M.

I don't know if your daughter is too old and wouldn't like this but my 3-month-old son loves the Fisher Price Ocean Aquarium that attaches to his crib. It plays music and the fish move for about 10 mins. We can put him down awake at night and by the time it stops he is sleeping. Although we are very lucky and our son is a really good sleeper. Good luck!

L.,

1. PLEASE do not put your child to sleep on her stomach. Please. The back to sleep campaign has made huge strides in preventing SIDS. Please don't be the exception. It really is important. If your daughter is naturally a stomach sleeper, she will position herself that way when she is big enough and trong enough to roll over into it. There's not much you can do about that, but until she's strong enough to do it herself, put her on her back.

2. Co-sleeping is not a terrible thing, if it is what gets your family a good night's rest. You may not want to do it, and that's okay, but it works well for many people.

3. My son had the same problem with waking as soon as he was put down. It's incredibly frustrating. I ended up learning to put him down just before he fell solidly asleep, and patting his little behind for a few minutes and humming to get him all the way there while he was lying down. It took a few tries for me to get it right, but it worked for us. It also helped his night waking, because he wasn't scared to find himself somewhere other than where he fell asleep.

Best of luck.

i had the same problem with my daughter whom is now 5 yrs old...i went to babies r us and got a Co-Sleeper...its basically a playpen that is even with the side of your bed and you can attach it to the bed. it worked for us until she was in a toddler bed...check it out...good luck!!

Hi L.;I was wondering if your daughter's crib is in the same room as yours?I more or less had this same problem with my youngest.What I ended up doing was to put a radio in her room on low or a tv,just for the light.We found out that our daughter was afraid of the dark. Good luck!

We had the same problem when trying to get our son to sleep in his crib. We went to a special clinic for babies that have trouble sleeping and she suggested finding a blanket or stuffed animal that can be his "sleeping buddy". She also made sure we established a naptime and bedtime routine that involved 20 minutes of down-time in his room. Though it wasn't instantaneous, we kept with the routines and "blue bear" and our son now sleeps in his crib. He goes down awake and puts himself to sleep. Good luck.

Personally, I'd let her sleep with you until she's ready to sleep by herself. My daughter made the transition on her own at 9 months. If it's not working for you and you don't want her in bed with you, I have a couple of suggestions.

First, when you lay her down after she's asleep, how long do you wait? I found that if I held my daughter more than just a few minutes after she fell asleep, she would wake up instantly when I layed her down. Try laying her down right after she goes to sleep.

Also, maybe you could put the shirt that you've been wearing all day in the crib with her. If she smells you, she may feel more content. I absolutely WOULD NOT let her cry it out. Babies this age cry for a reason. Not wanting to be alone is a valid reason. Leaving her to cry it out teaches her nothing except she will be ignaored when she cries. Babies who are left to cry do not "learn to go to sleep on their own". They learn that no one is going to come when they cry, so why bother. Snuggle your baby as much as she needs. It will pass, and you may find yourself wishing she'd snuggle in a few years. :)

I also suggest reading the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She has LOTS of great ideas on transitioning baby to crib and sleeping through the night with no crying involved. Good luck!!

L....

Our daughter is 2 months old and will not sleep in a crib either. She does love her carseat tho..so thats where she sleeps, right next to us in her bassinet. I know lots of people whose children have done this and it has worked. She sleeps 8-10 hours a night this way! I look at it this way, she won't be doing it when she's 16 so she will eventually grow out of it.

L.

Hi L., i have a 4 month old son and he sleeps with us as well. But its only because i want to cuddle him more than anything- lol On the days i do want to put him in his crib he wakes up in a sec. unless i put him on his tummy which i cant do b/c of sids. So, i recently have been putting him to sleep in a pack n play bassinet, and i put bedding like our bed (not fluffy, just more comfy then a plastic mattress thingy, and i also put a body pillow next to him with a shirt of mine over it so he thinks its me- lol But my husband insists on him sleeping with us so... im in the same boat :)

my youngest would do that. it was like there was a switch in the crib. i did pull her in bed with me a few times when my husband had duty or whatnot, but then neither of us really got any sleep. she was too interested in our room and i was too nervous any time she moved.

i know you said letting her cry it out isn't an option because of your older kids, but could you try it during her nap time? or put her down earlier than the other kids? as much as i hated doing it, i finally had to with kylie. she cried off and on for about 20 minutes the first night (i checked on her every 5), less than 5 the next night, and now she sleeps like a log. AND she's not waking up all the time in the middle of the night anymore (although she's a lot older thans yours).

hope you find something that helps.

Have you tried a Snuggle Nest? I went through what sounds like the same situation when my son was about 4 months old. The Snuggle Nest worked great. We put it in our bed and let him fall asleep in it and sleep there the whole night for a few nights. Then we let him fall asleep in it and moved him to his crib while he was asleep (my husband or I would wait a few minutes with our hand on his belly to make sure he was really asleep!) and he would sleep in his "nest" happily the entire night. Within a few weeks we would put him to sleep in his nest right in his crib...not in our bed at all. Now, at one week shy of a year, we put him in his crib wide awake (no nest) and he puts himself to sleep! This worked way better than letting him cry it out. Crying it out may have eventually worked, but it was stressing me out too much. The Snuggle Nest worked for us. Maybe it is worth a try.

Just in case you don't know what a Snuggle Nest is (I believe it is technically a kind of co-sleeper) here is a link to one...http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Delight-Deluxe-Snuggle-Nest/dp... (we bought ours (used) for $10...I put bassinet sheets on it)

Another thing that was great about the Snuggle Nest was that we could bring it with us when we were going to sleep over somewhere else. Since it was what he slept in at home he was comfortable to sleep pretty much anywhere.

I had this same problem with my youngest, she would never stay asleep if i put her down for naps or bed time, and it was so frustrating especially being a single mom and the only time i got to do housework was when she was sleeping. My sister was watching her one day and put her on her stomach not thinking, and she slept for 2 hours(nap) so I started putting her on her stomach and ever since then she's slept great. She's been sleeping 12 hours through the night since she was 2 months old. I know some people freak out about putting them on their stomach b/c of SIDS, but as long as they are able to lift their head up I don't freak about it. And since no one really knows why a baby dies of SIDS how can you actually say it's the way they were sleeping. I remember when it use to be that they said not to put them on their backs..so who knows, I hope this helps.

I sleep with my 5 month old son at night and the kids afternoon nap. I found that the problem may have been that he was just too tired. That happened with my daughter when she was little. She was so tired that as soon as we put her in her bed she would jolt awake. I read in a book (I think it was the Baby Whisperer) that kids this age should not be awake for more than 2 hours. Some need even shorter time spans. When I started doing that with my son, he started sleeping 30 - 45 minutes in his crib. Hope this helps. I am kind of chicken to try the night time sleep in the crib, so he is still sleeping with us for the time being. He is starting to be affected by my husband's snoring and restlessness.

I am a 39 year old mother of twin 2 1/2 year olds (boy and girl) and a 5 month old boy.

hi L., well my dear i do agree having baby sleep with you is a real bad habit to get into to. i think if you bath baby in a warm bath and put her to bed alittle earlier then the other kids you will be fine. she may cry alittle for about 15-20 mins but then she will drop off to sleep. maybe alittle carasoul music would help as well. please get out of the habit of letting her sleep with you not a good idea hon. hope my advice helps. let me know how the 2 of you are adjusting to the new arrangements. good luck you both will do fine.
N. s

hi i had the same prob with my little girl when she was a baby but i found that she would sleep great in her baby swing so thats where i let her sleep i got a battery operated one so it swung all night and eventually she went to sleep in her crib just every now and then put her in her crib say for her naps when the older kids are in school and you can let her cry it out and also try swadling her maybe she feels that the crib is so big that also worked on my son when he was a baby but dont get them in a habbit of sleeping with you because i did that with my first child and he is now 6 yrs old and still comes in my bed in the middle of the night good luck

Hi L.,

my son had that same problem he hated the bassanet and didnt like to sleep in his crib. The thing that i found that worked for me was to line a laundry basket with a blanket and I put him in it inside the crib. I think being confined into a small space made him feel secure (like in mommies womb) and as he got bigger and grew out of the basket i devided his crib in half and once he got used to that and felt safe i would make it bigger until the whole crib was being used. Another thing that also helps it to put a radio in the room and turn it on the sound lets them think that they are not alone. I know it sounds like a crazy idea but it worked for me and we all get a goodnight sleep.