Cry It Our Question

You're going to get a lot of people who will try and tell you it's the wrong way to go but just remember that this is YOUR child, not theirs and what is right for them isn't right for everybody. You aren't even asking for advice about weather you should use cry it out so there should be no responses here trying to sway you. I'm sorry, I just get so annoyed when parents push their parenting styles onto others.

With my son and cry it out he was sleeping through the night (12 hour stretches) at 2 months old. We also had moved him into his own room by then. The trick is to learn to recognize your babys cries. I can tell when my son is crying just because he is fighting his nap or he is really not going to nap (which is more of a scream). I use cry it out for naps and bedtime, though my son doesn't cry at bedtime. His routine has gotten him really ready for bed by the time we put him down.

I guess all I can offer is learn to tell the difference in your childs cries and by letting them cry it out a few nap and bedtime will help you do that.

I had a very similar problem. I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth. I found it very helpful.
I also have a friend who is a pediatrician who helped me make a sleep plan. It is as follows: in the afternoons I am feeding him every hour, usually from 3:30-7:30--cluster feeding. He goes to bed at 7:30. In the beginning she said if he wakes up before 1:30, don't go in. After 1:30, go in and feed him. Once that was established, he eventually stopped waking up at 1:30, and moved it incrementally to 2, then 3, then 4, now it's 5 or 5:30. Once he sleeps to a new time once, move it to that time and don't go in before then!
The second half of the plan has to do with naps. He wakes up in the middle of his naps, but picking him up as soons as he cries just leads to a really tired baby. He naps at 9:30am, 1:30pm, and 4:30pm (the third is flexible, depending how the day is going). My rule is that if he wakes up before an hour, I don't go in until the hour is up. He almost always falls asleep again. If he wakes up after an hour or more, he's done.

Good luck! The biggest favor you can do for your baby is help him learn how to sleep well!

Hello,

Just wanted to add "Cry It Out" should really be called "Delayed Response". Don't just leave your LO alone, try to comfort her without picking her up and lengthen your response time. Allow a transition so she has some time to learn how to self sooth. Good Luck!

~Take care,
Jasmine

I did the cry it out with my first and he was insecure for about 7-8 years. I didn't do it with my other two and they were secure with them selves. My oldest would wake every night for all those years to find me not in his bed and would scream out for me in the middle of the night. I had to lay with him until he fell a sleep and once I would get up he would wake up. My others have no problem going to bed on their own and sleeping through the night. So I don't agree with that method. They are crying because they need you and they depend on you. Good luck.

Is her waking so often a new thing? If so, she might be teething. My younger daughter had a full mouth of teeth by 7 months, and it happened quickly. But, all children are different. Try to find out why she's waking so often first, and then maybe she'll get better at self-soothing. I didn't have my kids cry it out because we lived in too small of a space and my husband needed the sleep. But, I think as long as you are sure you've taken care of her needs, use a method that works best for your family.

I had the same experience with a child that woke up all the time and would not fall asleep without nursing. It got to the point that she wanted to nurse all night long, literally. So we had to cry it out, which was tough, but so worth it. She is 2 1/2 and such a great sleeper now! I highly recommend the book "The Sleep Easy Solution". It is an easy to read guide on how to best let your child cry it out. I love the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" for the info on why sleep is important, but I don't feel it gives good enough directions on how to do it. When you are well informed on how to do it, it makes the process so much easier on the child and on the parents. Good luck!

6 month is old enough. You just harden your heart and let them cry. I did this with all 3 at 6 months and in 2 nights there were sleeping through the night. It's emotionally hard to do, but worth it.

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...
Great book, I read it, absorbed it & made it work, with his suggestions, my way- for my baby-@ 7 months when I moved her from the co-sleeper in my room, to her own bedroom/crib with a pitch dark room & constant background noise-a small fan & a white noise machine-after 4 nights of crying it out-she sleep thru the 5th night & has slept 10 to 12 hours each night ever since. Those 4 nights were not fun but all of the nights since have been & I am a much happier Mama who has been much more mentally equipped to be @ home with her 24/7 due to the uninterrupted sleep I have gotten since then.
The book will answer your specific ?'s on naps & night sleep etc. Good luck. ;)

Check out www.sleepsense.net. Best advice I ever got--from an infant/child sleep specialist. She talks about CIO, but in a gentle way, and teaching the baby to self-soothe and learn to be an independent, SECURE child, who can fall asleep on his/her own. Check out the "Do it Yourself" tab and get the e-book. I have referred to it so many times with both my kids and it saved our sanity. We all started sleeping through the night, thanks to Dana Obleman!

Personally I'm not a big fan of CIO before babies are old enough to communicate. Crying is their way. 6 1/2 months is an age of growing and teething. This is an infant, all they understand is wanting to be held and close to mommy.

We started baby sign language with 4 of our 5 children around 6 1/2 or 7 months. By, 9 months they could communicate with us using their hands. They all could sign before they could talk. The signing never caused them to be delayed in their talking, in fact I think it helped speed it up. Once they started talking they used the signs along with it for a while and eventually the signing went away. Actually signing cut down on a ton of tantrums becuase they could tell us exaclty what they wanted.

You can look up Baby Signs.

I'm not a fan of crying it out. I didn't do that with my son. I found he soon stopped waking in the night at about 6 months of age and once he started getting enough food. (You didn't mention if you were breast feeding.) Once my baby started taking bottles closer together, every 1 1/2 to 2 hrs as opposed to every 3 hours) and we supplemented with infant oatmeal he started sleeping through the nights. He would wake early about 6am but I was fine with that. He then only awoke at night when he had a growth spurt, was teething or had just had his shots. I went through it and am now glad I did. If you do let her CIO, make sure it's never longer than 15 mins. Pick her up to soothe her and try feeding her. She just may be hungry. They go through plenty of growth spurts during the age from 6 months to a year. Good luck and hope that helps.

Hi there,

Just wanted to let you know the cry-it-out method didn't work for us and I wish I hadn't tried it! (we used Weissbluth and Ferber books as guides). I had heard that it worked for some people so we tried it for longer than I wish we had, thinking that eventually it would work. I know you weren't asking opinions about weather you should do it or not... just wish someone had encouraged us to try other methods when we were in your position!

You could try Elizabeth Pantley's book "No-Cry Sleep Solution". Here is a link to her site:
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php

Anyway, good luck and sweet dreams, whichever method you decide to try!

H.

Hi,
Get the book by Dr. Ferber "Solve your child's sleep problems". Chapter 4 is the the one that runs down how to let them cry it out. He also explains in the book about how much sleep they need & talks about establishing a nap routine.

In there it explains establishing a bed time routine & then gives the increments for when to go back in to check on them. You don't just let them cry. You go back every so often to let them know you haven't left them. Brace yourself for a long crying session the first time. We did this w/ our daughter at 4 1/2 months (she is 17 months now) and I am so GRATEFUL. She is a pretty good sleeper & it got us to establish a schedule which gives my husband & I some time together at the end of the day.

The book is worth getting & reading. I would encourage you to go that extra step before you let your little cry it out.

Good luck,
C

Get a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by pediatrician/sleep expert Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It's a cry it out method with a lot of research/science behind it and it has been an excellent resource for my family and many others. I highly recommend this book. It deals with sleep aspects of babies and children up to age 12. Great book. Worked nearly without a hitch for us very quickly.

If you're breastfeeding, you'll probably have to deal with some level of night waking for a while. My 13 month old is still waking to nurse at least once most nights, and I'm OK with that. She usually gives me at least one five hour block and never less than three hour blocks.

However, when she was 5.5 months old she was waking to nurse every two hours, and that I couldn't deal with and remain happy and sane during the day. I had read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and loved the advice given. So at that point, if she woke up in the night and it was less than three hours since she'd nursed, I'd let her cry until she fell asleep again. We moved her out of our room and I would turn down the volume on the monitor so I couldn't hear her cry, but could still see the red lights indicating that she was making noise. Usually I would drift off to sleep while she was still crying, and then when I woke up again I would turn the volume back up if she was then asleep so the next time she woke I'd hear it and go to her.

The book recommends that even if you are using CIO that you only leave them for one hour for naps, and if they are still crying at that point you go to them. At night though, you leave them to cry until they fall asleep. We had a couple of 90 minute nights, but since then it's been lovely. She's great at settling down at sleep and nap times.

Of course, as I type that, she's been awake for about an hour through what should have been her morning nap. However, it's because she actually slept through the night last night (hooray!!!!!) and is rapidly approaching the time when she drops down to one nap a day.

So good luck! Read the Weissbluth book - skip straight to the section on 5 to 12 month olds and read it through and you'll hopefully get the help you need.

Hello, I hate the whole cry it out thing, it even sounds bad let alone going through it. I prefer the shush pat method which is explained well in a book a friend recommended to me and I swear by it!
The baby whisperer solves all your problems. With my 6 month old I have found it helpful every month of his life so far and there are chapters that help all the way through being a toddler.
Good luck!

If your baby is at a normal weight and eating solids etc. she should be able to sleep through the night without feeding.
I had to sleep train our son at that age because he was waking every 90 minutes to nurse all night.
It took 3 nights - he cried for 90 minutes night #1, 40 minutes night #2 and 20 minutes night #3. the Ferber method worked for us with the modification that we weren't able to let him see us when we checked on him or he would get really mad and wind right back up screaming his little head off.
Don't let the anti-Cry-It -Out moms get to you - do a little research and do what feels best for your family.
If your baby learns to fall asleep on her own at night naps should fall into line on their own. Try black-out drapes for day time naps if the room gets a lot of sunshine.

dear E.,When my girls were little they did the same thing . i would make sure they were not wet or hungry then I would change their position a little . after all those thing wee done i would go in the room and patt them and talk to them put not get them up . let them cry 5 more min if this did not work and go in again and patt them and talk to them. usually they would settle down and go to sleep . it may take about three days to get them so they don't wake up so often . but i always went to comfort them but not always get them up . some times music helped to get them back to sleep. I felt that if I always responded they would get the idea I was always there for them it did work and this stage goes away and they slept though the night so good luck.S.

I'm not a fan of CIO personally. I have many reasons, but I won't go into detail.

If it were me, I'd make a few adjustments to see if they correct the waking problem before doing the CIO thing.

1. How many naps is she taking during the day? Perhaps try cutting out a nap or making them shorter in duration to see if they helps her sleep better.

2. When is her last feeding of the evening? Maybe try feeding her later/closer to bedtime.

3. Does she still need to eat in the middle of the night? My kids did. They didn't eat a lot before bedtime no matter what I tried. Instead of getting up and feeding them, I'd either lay them next to me and nurse them back to sleep (while I could catch a few ZZZZZs), or with our daughter (who I couldn't nurse because of my chemo treatments) we kept a bottle and premeasured formula on our nightstand and fed her as needed.

4. Could she be getting cold? Perhaps putting a onesie under her pajamas or using a sleep sack could solve the problem

5. Is she a thumb sucker or a pacifier taker? She could just need the soothing and not be able to provide it herself.

Those are my thoughts. CIO wasn't an option for our second because of my chemo. As a parent facing that I might not survive long enough for my children to know me, it wasn't so bad to spoil them with the time I knew I did have available.

Those are just my thoughts.
Good luck!

Here's how I did it-- change/check a diaper one last time, put the baby down, that's it. I wouldn't pick him up again till a 'reasonable time' in the morning (something after 6). It took about 4 nights for him to get the message. For naps Ijust put him in his crib at the right time, but if he cried for 1/2 an hour I'd check his diaper. One thing I noticed was he became a much better napper after I did the CIO-- I think he was better at putting himself back to sleep. Good luck with it!