Crying at Day Care

It took my son 6 weeks to stop crying. We started him around 2 and one of the reasons for it was severe separation anxiety. Once he got used to it he was excited to go, but we did have to have a "good bye" ritual for about two years.
It was rough, but I knew I'd made the right decision on the first day of kindergarten when I saw how confident he was.

My son started daycare at 9 weeks of age and never cried (he was too young to care about which loving adult was holding him). The children in his daycare who started later (where your son is) seemed to take quite a bit longer to adapt. I would see some of them crying in the morning for maybe a week or two. I agree with the poster who felt that 1-1/2 hours is not enough time. If you need to put him in daycare - I would do at least 2-3 half days a week. If you are doing this for him (not for your work or sanity which are perfectly valid reasons), then I don't see a need for it at this age.

I am also certain that I do not remember when I was 17 months old so nothing that happened then would have been the best or worst experience for me.

Sometimes, the length of time they are left there can make it better or worse. I was looking into a preschool twice a week for my son. The director told me, it's very difficult for kids to only stay an hour or two. That gives them just enough time to relax and calm down...and then they go home. They don't really experience all the fun. I suggest an hour and a half, might be hurting his experience. I wouldn't be surprised if he is not fully able to adjust in that short amount of time, so it's only a bad to confusing experience. If he had a little more time, he could adjust and then experience all the positive. As of right now, in his mind...it's probably not very positive.

If your only doing it twice a week for a short time it may take forever lol. Kids need it to be routine to get used to it. if your not doing it yet is it possible to make the days next to each other. like mon and tue as opposed to mon and wed. that way it will still be in memory. also when you say you take him does that mean you drop him off or stay with him? if he is crying a lot and your only doing it so he can have fun I would just drop it. if it is where your going to do daycare then he needs longer stretchs of time and more often than an hour an a half a couple times a week.

Our DS is 18 months. He just started Daycare. He goes 2 "full" days a week from 9 am -4 pm. He brightened up by the 2nd afternoon. The day care center said that if he wasn't "taking" to it well be the end of two weeks, they would have him come in for several consecutive days, at no cost to us, so that he could get better acclimated to the routine.

Long days are better. Successive days are better.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

This is odd to med.

He is just going and staying 1 1/2 hour? twice a week? Isn't he going every day so he can get used to it? Are you staying too He isn't getting the chance to adapt to anything. He goes home and has a different routine then goes again. This would be hard on a child going this schedule for anything.

I would say unless you can take him more hours and leave him for several more hours each day he is going to take a lot longer to adapt. He has no sense of the routine. He is not even going through one period of the day. He is not getting play time, learning time, nap time, lunch, snack time, finger painting with jello time, he has no idea it is a fun place to be since he is not there long enough to experience it.

I would tell you, if I were the director, that he needs to come every day early in the morning, when class time starts. Then he needs to stay until at least lunch is over.

This way he gets to acclimatize and learn the routines. He gets to see the other kids playing and see the teachers interact with the kids. He gets to find a home and stop being visitor.

It sounds like he's not ready. I was taken to daycare when I was a kid and I absolutely HATED it. I'm middle aged now and I can honestly say in my whole life, daycare was the worst experience. I would really examine why you are doing this and if it is necessary. Do not force him please!

My kids have been in day care since they were just a couple of months old and they STILL cry in the mornings sometimes. :(

I think part of the problem may be that he is only going for such a short time just twice a week. If he was going every day, I would think he would get used to it in a couple of days. Maybe, since he is not going every day, he will get used to the routine in a couple of weeks?

If you have the option, and he is still miserable after another week or two, I would consider taking him out of the center and doing other mommy and me activities for him to get those skills and socialization. Revisit the idea of a daycare again in six months to a year.

I dont see any reason to make your child go if he isnt ready yet.

Hello! I don't have an answer to your initial question, however all 4 of my girls have been to daycare and if I can give you one tip it would be to make your goodbyes fast and simple. the more you stay and the more anxiety he feels in you the harder it will be for him. I know I always wanted to stay and give her one more kiss or one more hug, but eventually I noticed that the quicker I left the faster they would calm down (i would call 5 mins after to check). My 22 month old is in headstart, and there's a new little boy in her class, 2 days ago mom stayed around quite a bit and he was hysterical, today she left right away and he did sooooooooooo well. :) just thought I'd share !

I kept my kids home until age 3. When I needed time I found a close friend to switch off with. Kids get a playdate and one Mom gets free time. I did this with friends we play regularly with so that the kids felt comfortable at the house and with the other Mom. IMO a child that young wants to be with Mom. My kids were never happy about going to the daycare at church until they were much closer to 3. And that was just an hour once a week. They were miserable. I ended up going less during those years. Just the way it is! My kids are totally fine in social settings and at school now. It didn't hurt them to wait. They got plenty social interaction with people they trusted.