Custody Issues - Lancaster,PA

i have been through this myself with my step-daughters. after 10 years of the exact same game with his ex-wife, it got very old and ruined the marriage. my husband at the time paid 1000 per month and he didnt see his girls for almost 3 years due to the ex keeping them from him. now that they are grown up and older, she cant stop the contact and they now know the truth (2 of them do anyway). on the other note, i found the best thing is to not force the child if THEY are the ones who dont want to see the other parent. i now have a 6 year old with him (although we are separated) and she refuses to many bad choices he made that directly affected her and we have both decided not to push the issue. when she is ready to see him she will. remember L., the parent can not control the child forever, sooner or later they will grow up and want to know the truth and that is when he will have a chance to tell her the TRUTH (not the truth the bad parent whats the child to hear but rather the real truth)...the reason for not allowing them to have time to bond and know each other and for keeping them away. i grew up in the same unfortunate situation and as a parent myself and a grown up, i was able to hear both sides and find my father was the one at fault and my mother did all she could. i do have a VERY CLOSE relationship with my mother and would not change that for anything. as hard as it is to sit back and allow it and as much as it hurts, it will work itself out in time...lies catch up with people and they will catch up with this childs mom as well and than she will need to explain HERSELF and hope her child forgives HER. hope this helps.

14 is a tough age, and at that time in life all kids want to do is spend time with their friends. Instead of pushing for the whole summer start with a two week stay, or a month stay - if it's been two years since she visited you she's probably very nervous. Start small, hopefully she'll have fun, the bond can be rebuilt, and more visits will be planned. My brother is in a similar situation - he has a 14 yr old daughter, and he barely ever gets to see her - her mother has repeatedly disregarded all court orders, and there is nothing you can do, but drag them back to court - which costs money,(that my brother just doesn't have) and there is no guarantee it will produce results. Good Luck with what you decide - you're not the only one in this situation.

Hello
I myself have beem in this situation before. I would not just let it go. you need to seek legal advice being she is in florida juristiction. and i would attemp to have her come up for something even if it would not be for the entire summer. Also, make sure you husband is maybe on vacation when she is up. that way you are not getting hit with the verbal junk and him not around.
Good Luck and Pray Hard!!!!
K. B
____@____.com

Unfortunately this is a common story. The most important thing is to let his daughter know you all still care and still want to see her and keep an invitation always open. Your husband can still call or write letters or email her. He might even keep a journal of the times he thought about her, something that reminded him of her, an event you wished she was there, etc. He can give it to her when she's grown and she'll know he was always thinking about her despite her mother's efforts to keep dad away. (That'll reflect badly on mommie dearest in the future.) But in the meantime I hate to say you're all in for several more years of heartache. He can keep trying to appeal to mommie dearest on occasion, but expect her to be difficult and don't let it discourage you. Daughter is the one you have to communicate with. But you have your own family in your own house and it's important not to disrupt that too much. I wish you luck, I know what you're going through and it's a tough road. Pray hard for that girl!