Daddy Day Care!

Gamma, wow, a little shallow, narrow-minded thinking aren't we? I think SAHD are awesome and count my lucky stars for the SAHD's in my playgroups I attend. I think dad's are just as capable of holding a conversation with other mom's and I know it brings a different perspective to a group.

At her age, she doesn't need to socialize with anyone but her parents and family. A visit to the park will give her fresh air and the knowledge that other people exist...She'll be more confident knowing her Mom and Dad love her and are there for her.

At 11 months old she really won't interact with other children even when given the opportunity. Usually children of that age will play side by side or away watching the other kids. Make sure your hubby takes her out when he runs errands or goes to story hour at the library to get her out and about around other people. At 3 and 4 you can put her in nursery school for a couple hours and she'll learn how to play with other kids. She'll be fine.

Babies don't NEED social interaction with other babies. They really don't. Even 2 year olds don't have "friends" as we think of friends.

Your hubby, otoh, needs friends. That's what infant playgroups are all about... not friends for babies, but ways to keep the mom's from going insane never speaking in full sentances in normal tones of voice.

20 years younger than most of the mums in my area I did NOT find friends in "mommy groups" or "play" dates... because in general I was looked down upon by the other moms. So I had friends from elsewhere. Sometimes they had kids, sometimes they didn't. But yeah... the whole purpose of "play" dates at your baby's age is for the parents, not for your daughter.

Your H, btw, may feel the same way. SAHDs tend to get either ostracized or *fawned* over by SAHMs. Both of which are uncomfortable.

Social butterflys, btw, seem to be born that way. My son had almost 0 interaction with other kids his age until 3 when he went to preschool, but he has ALWAYS been Mr. Social. Adults, older kids, kids his age, wee ones. Doesn't matter. He's just extroverted. <laughing> Since I'm NOT, it's been interesting to watch.

She is a little too young for playdates. Some young toddlers do well in them, but developmentally, it isn't required for her age group to socialize in this way. Children that age don't really know how to interact and play socially with other children, mimic their behavior, share or fight over toys, do blocks together by playing "side by side" with other children, but that's about it, they don't' really have the concept of doing things together.

Instead of worrying about playdates, he can take her to reading time at the library, to the park, do little crafts with her, to a nursery at church on Sundays, take her to places like "The Little Gym" for the young child class. When she is older, she will learn how to group play and socialize with other children.

Sometimes it is not the fact that she has not seen other children but they are afraid of how fast the others move and the amount of noise they make and the way they smell. She may need more predictability in others and children are not predictable. This rarely gets better on it's own but you can wait till she's 14-15 months and see then how she interacts, reacts to kids. If it is not good, you may want to go have a look/see with an occupational therapist. This is their area of expertise. She may not be comfortable in her own skin and with movement in general. Right now she should be turning and looking at the others to see what they are doing. They may poke each other and fight with toys. They generally like to be around each other although they will not pretend play yet. When in doubt, check it out.

Don't even begin to fuss about it. I have 3 - going on 4 - kids home with me. Before they are in preschool they get very little outside interactions, and the ones who are older are doing just fine. My oldest hung on me at 11 months and is now outside playing with a pack of kids from the neighborhood (he's 5). You are doing the best thing you can for him by having her home; don't worry about her social development for another couple years.

Man kids are not interested in other kids at that age. Have him join some groups - gymboree ect.. if you are concerned.

Yea, I agree with Riley...at this age playdates are mostly for the parents, not the kids. He is in a tricky position since there aren't many like him, sadly! Maybe he could try doing a "meetup" (isn't that the name of the website??) with other SAHDs in the area and get his own little play group started. If not, he may have to try out a few different mom groups to find his niche. He can also hang around the parks and story times at Barnes and Noble/libraries, etc. to try and meet some people!

At 11 months, the kids will really just play near eachother not with each other and that is just fine! They don't really start to play with each other until at least 2, closer even sometimes to 3 and beyond.

No...You're baby is getting just what she needs right now. I would say that by the time she's around 2 she'll want to be interacting more with other kids. Yay for you that one of you gets to stay home with her right now. There are some benefits to daycare, but at her age you've got nothing to worry about. She has time to develop all the social stuff.

:)

Do you go to church?? My kids get loads of interaction on Sundays and Wednesdays!

I've been a stay at home mom for the past 10 1/2 years. I never liked play dates and my children are still young but they doing just fine. Each child has their own personality that will flourish when they are ready, not because you've forced them to socialize. In fact, if you force it, they will resent you for doing it and you risk them pulling further into their shell. So, stop worrying about "play dates" and let your child's personality develop on her own. Once she starts kindergarten, you will be amazed how well she will adapt. My children were home with me until they started kindergarten and I would not have done anything different.

Aw no worries my husband stayed home with both of our girls until our youngest was about 2 and there were many times I thought the same thing, but they find their own way and will work it out. I used to feel the same way I really did but they are 17 and 10 now and still only interact with the people they find interesting or get along with...it will be fine but ultimately it is up to you and your husband

Day care is not the only source for social interaction for children. Find a music program in your area or a gymnastics class (there are some for 1 yr olds) or a mommy and me group that welcomes daddys. Daddy can even go out to the mall where they have the play areas and let her take over and meet other children. She has time to make friends in the future but at least expose her in small increments. As a music teacher, I highly suggest a music class that incorporates child and parent bonding into the fun activities. I do my classes from my home and have seen great changes in the children in a short period of time. Now, it has built a community and the children love seeing each other. Enjoy the full attention she is getting by staying home. It is an important asset. Also remember, children develop differently and at different rates.

I think you are doing great!
best, k

I knew a dad that was a stay at home guy to. I know it's silly but I felt very uncomfortable with him coming to play dates and other Mommy and kid activities, isn't that just silly? I think he needs to find local story time at the library, our town lists a play date at a local spot once a week on a social networking site, he can find other people who are SAH and just go join in. Being retired gives him ample opportunity to "shop" round for the group with the right fit for him.

Hi M., what a lucky little girl.

I have been a SAHM with my 22 month old. Just at about the same time as your little girl, I started going to the same park or two every day. The best decision I made. After almost a year of the same park, my LO has a small group of "friends" that he looks forward to seeing almost every day. In addiiton, at about 18 months, I started going to a gimboree type class. More for the interaction with other kids and the lessons (taking turns and sharing etc.). Also a good decision.

Thus, I would not worry about going into a daycare environment yet if it is not necessary. there are other ways to attain social interactions at this age, and provide the one on one care that helps foster security and later independence.

HTH.
Jilly.

It usually isn't until closer to 2 or 3 that children really interact with each other. I wouldn't be concerned if an 11 month old isn't paying attention to other children. My daughter was in day care for 10 months (she was 6 months to 16 months) I used to be a teacher, this year I am able to stay home with her. Even though she was in daycare she was still nervous around other children when we would be at the park or weekend playdates. We started doing Parent/Child classes at The Little Gym and that has helped because she now has a place where mommy is there and she is safe to play with other kids. Now at 18 months she has started interacting slowly with other children that she sees often.
See if your local library has a story time that your husband can take your daughter to, that will help her be around other children and it is a free fun thing they can do together.

As long as your husband is playing and interacting with your daughter during the day I'm sure she will socially develop just fine!

Babies don't actually play "with" each other. Their brains have not developed enough to make those connections yet. Kids don't start to play with other kids until 2-3 years old. You are not holding her back at all by keeping her at home. I have always stayed at home and my girls are 4, 3 and 1. My 4 yo is very social and well adjusted, my 3 yo is starting to be more social and my 1yo could care less about the other kids. She is in her own little world. Totally normal.