Dating - Dallas,TX

My oldest daughters, now 21 and 20, could start dating at 16. The boy had to pick them up at the house, I had to meet him, and they had a 10:00 date curfew. At 17 I increased it to 11:00 and at 18 it was Midnight. The only exception was if they were going to a late show and it didn't get over until after curfew or if they were being chaperoned by another adult. I DID check to see if they were where they said they were going to be (movie, dinner, etc). Sometimes they knew I was checking up, other times not. My girls also started on birth control by the time they were 16 and I gave them lessons on how to use a condom as well as made sure they both carried them with them. It wasn't giving them permission to have sex (they were going to decide that no matter what I did), just making sure they were safe. My next daughter in line is going to be 13 in a few weeks and the rules will be the same for her. I don't know that my way is the "right" way but it worked for our family - nobody is pregnant, no one has come home in a cop car, and no one is addicted to any substances. I knock on wood as I say this, of course.

I think the most important thing is that whatever rules you decide, you stick to them as well as the consequences that come along with breaking the rules (girls LOVE to test their parents).

Good luck!

"For the Strength of Youth," a Church publication for young men and young women, contains the following counsel regarding dating:

"Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. Dating before then can lead to immorality, limit the number of other young people you meet, and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner.

"Not all teenagers need to date or even want to. Many young people do not date during their teen years because they are not yet interested, do not have opportunities, or simply want to delay forming serious relationships. However, good friendships can and should be developed at every age.

"When you begin dating, go in groups or on double dates. Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person. Make sure your parents meet those you date. You may want to invite your dates to activities with your family. Plan dating activities that are positive and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other. Do things that will help you and your companions maintain your self-respect and remain close to the Spirit of the Lord" ("Dating," 24–25).

Luckily my daughters haven't started "dating" yet. I'm always telling them "you don't need a boyfiend, having friends both boys and girls is what's important". I'm always encouraging them to go things in groups. About every 8 weeks, I let them have a "party". They invite a group of kids (both boys and girls) over and they "hang out". I'm always in the house and most of the time, they know I'm within hearing distance.

We allwed our girls to start group dating going out with a group of friends at 15. They were allowed to date car date with just them and the guy at 16. Our rules on both were we have to know who all is going where they were going and who all was going to be in the car. We live in a small town so I made sure I knew the other parents and at least talked to a couple of them to make sure they had the same story. On car dates the guy had to come in and we made sure we let him know the curfew and that she had to be in the house at that time. We also required a text when they got where they were going and a quick one to let me know they were on their way home. We are strict by most standards but I am a worrier so this is what made me comfortable.

lol my parents told me 16 but no matter what you say chances are they will do it before. I started at 14 and my parents never knew... i had a differnt bf every month lol.. the ones you like for a week and then change your freshman year and I use to say i was meeting friends at the movies and then it would be a guy... I KNOW bad... but it's realistic

well my daughters are 2 and 4 so we are not quite there yet. We don't plan on letting our daughters date until they are 18. I hope to stay very involved in their lives and their friends and have a very open relationship with them.
My husband is a youth pastor and i am around a lot of teenage girls. I think that even the good, trustworthy, ect. girls can get in trouble and do things they didn't think they would. (i know i did). I would be careful about letting anyone up in bedrooms alone. I would also have an open knowledge that you will read their texts. Sexting is out there and it's illegal. Your daughters AND you could be in legal trouble. Even if you know the boy's parents there are a lot of parents that don't see anything wrong with the two kids spending hours of uninterupted time in the bedroom with the door closed! I would be very careful about alone time. Also more and more girls are exploring with each other. Most of the teenagers i know went through a lesbian exploration in 7th grade. (most of the "grew out of it" is what they tell me). Just don't be too trusting or too niave. God gave kids parents to keep them safe and to make the hard decisions they couldn't make for themselves.

When I was younger my step-mother allowed our boyfriends to come over anytime as long as we stayed in the living room downstairs. When I turned 15 we were allowed to leave the house with a curfew.

Hi L.,
We have two boys that are in JR. High and this year we had to decide our course of action as they both started 'liking' girls. Both of them have many friends of the opposite sex, the most important thing for us is being involved with them and their friends. They are always welcome at our house. When we realized that 2 of the girls became 'special', here is what we decided since we couldn't really ostracize them and not all the others. The 'girlfriends' are invited over when we have 'family night' or when we as a family go on an outing together. We are in contact with the parents routinely and include them in all of our plans. They are chaperoned at all times with either myself or my husband. Many times a group of kids will come over just to 'hang out', but we are always involved. We set the following guidlines for the future and they understand that we will not deviate. When they turn 14, we will allow group 'dates' so that they they can be dropped off at a movie or such. No one on one dates until both parties are 16. I think above and beyond, the MOST important thing is being involved with your kids and their friends...regardless of whether or not they are boys or girls. Look at the maturity level of the child, look at the friends and decide what is best for YOUR child. We have had to stand firm (mostly momma gut feeling) on some kids that I don't think are the best fit for my kids. The kids might not understand now...but will later. Be involved!

I let my 15yo daughter go on group or double dates. I allowed this starting at age 14. Once she turns 16 she will be allowed to date one on one. The rules I set are no going to his house, no wandering around, no sex, no going anywhere you didn't tell me you were going and no touching (sexually besides kissing). I tell her to be home at least 10 minutes before curfew.
Hope this helps! :)

I would encourage group dating, if possible. I am 24 and can now look back and see that I was too young, smart, and pretty to spend high school on an emotional rollercoaster. Of course, I did not listen to my mother, but she was with me through my "first love"!! And it wasn't all bad, but I know at 16, I believed he was the one... he wasn't...lol. Just always be there for her and tell her about your experiences as a teenager when she asks! I wish you the best in guiding her:)

I let my girls date at 16.They were allowed to go out in a crowd at 15.I of course set a curfew.i had to know where they were going.Age appropriate activities.I told them that they never knew when I might show up so they better be where they said they were.They weren't allowed to date anyone too old.Tell them if they ever find themselves in an uncomfortable situation to call and you will be there.

17-18 time frame. My girls are now 24 (2) and 30. After all what is the purpose of dating but to get a mate for marriage. Group outings are much better, but my girls were always chaperoned (old fashioned ) - maybe, but it saves alot of heartache. The heart is treacherous (the bible says). and when hormones are raging, control is almost impossible. They are all happily married now and are glad they were able to get married with a clean conscious. Their courting was also chaperoned where they were able to really get to know each other and talk and not have sex on the mind constantly, as they knew that would come with marriage. Dating is a time to get to know each other mentally and see the others habits, good and bad qualities and decide whether you want to put up with this person for the rest of your life. To be able to stand back and see the person for what they really are, how they treat other people and family members etc.

I am also in the DFW area (Plano). My daughter is 15.

We don't have rules set in stone, we look at each situation. She has never gone out with a boy in his car on a date. I feel she's a bit too young for that and i don't like the idea of teen drivers.

We have taken turns carpooling with a boyfriend's parents and dropped them off at the movies to meet a group of teens.

My daughter is extremely social but most of her best friends are guys and she doesn't focus on the boyfriend/girlfriend issue yet... I said yet, ha. Now my house is usually full of teens on weekends. They eat, watch movies, play on the Wii and socialize. I like it this way because I am one of the parents who knows what kids are doing in my house.

My suggestion is to get to know her friends and parents. This has worked for us. That said, i'll be the one asking for advice next time when she wants the one on one date. I dread that about as much as her driving!!

My son was allowed to "date" when he was 16. He didn't get his car til he was almost 17 so we drove back and forth and the girl he dated then wasn't allowed to "car date" at all so if I remember correctly, the ONLY time they were ever allowed to "date" date was on Prom. And her curfew was midnight.

My daughter was allowed to date on an as needed basis. She group dates mostly and has only been allowed recently to actually go "out" with someone who drives.

I think more importantly its about the individual young person and not standard rules per se. I know some young people who are not ready for that kind of responsibility at 18...and others who would do fine at 15 or 16.

Also...since you mentioned reminders. My standard are: We love you. Make good decisions. Condoms are in the drawer. Please come talk to me if you need them. Make some memories. Call me when you get there and when you leave. YOU are important, make sure HE/SHE knows that.

Those are just a few. I'm open and honest with my kids about EVERYTHING (not to the unhealthy icky point, but to the point where I'm honest about how they're feeling). And I want them to know that we ALL make a bad decision or 4 and we shouldn't have to bear that burden alone.

Good luck to you. I am sending good thoughts your way.

I let my 13 year old daughter date but its only like a school thing. Her and her "boyfriend" basically see each other at school only. She turns 14 in two months and I told her that she can start group dating at 14 and at 15 she can go on double dates. When she's 16 she can go on dates One-On-One. She goes to his house for dinner or homework, and he sometimes comes over to my house. When their here doors are always OPEN. Lol and no touching each other besides kissing and holding hands. I hoped it Helped!

My daughters are too young to date; my oldest is 10. However, the age seems to be fast approaching us. I have to say it depends on exactly what you mean by "dating". I started going to dances with my friends when I was 12... this was typical for where I grew up. It started out as church dances then progressed to local teen dance clubs. We didn't go with boys, but we would meet up with our "boyfriends" there. The first time I had a boyfriend that visited my home I was a freshman in HS. Now that I have kids, this all seems way too young, but back then, it seemed natural. I met and started dating my husband when I was 15. We were serious when I was 17, and I got married when I was 20. Now, I was a mature teenager; I graduated college at age 20! I didn't go on an actual, unsupervised date until I was about 16, and that was with the person I married! I am so thankful that my parents let me "date" young b/c I met my husband; we have been happily married for 13 years.

With my kids, I guess I will see how it goes. I think all kids are different. If my daughter meets a nice guy who she really likes and wants to date, and she is in HS, then I will have to gage that at the time. Having a highschool sweetheart, going to prom and homecoming, etc. are all valuable life experiences. I am more concerned personally with teen drinking than I am with dating.

If I hadn't been allowed to date, my whole life would be vastly different... just something to think about!

I have been struggling with this isue myself. My oldest will be 16 in December. I havent really had to face it yet because she hasnt really asked and doesnt seem to care about boys. Shes small for her age and underdeveloped, which I think had helped with the boy situation. But I have about decided that group dating is the way to go. Thinking back I never really had an alone date till Prom, I always wanted to be with my friends.

My 9yr old on the other hand is already so boy crazy that I think I'm gonna have to inject her with a GPS chip.

Good luck, Really its a maturity thing instead of age.

My girls are not allowed to date until they are 18. They have known this since they were little girls and they do not fight me on it. Yes it can be done. I've always counseled them on how immature boys are at this age and how easily they can "get a reputation" even if they do not engage in sexual activity. Most of these little relationships end up on a sour note and these boys have no problem sometimes making up stories that they went all the way with a girl. We have saved our family a lot of heartache by having this rule. If you decide to let your daughter date sooner just mention this and I'm sure she has seen other couples in her school go through drama that is so unnecessary at this age. Teens have enough to worry about these days with all that peer pressure out there and above all keep an open ear to her and let her know she can trust you at all times. Good Luck