Daughter Likes people...too Much

I have my oldest, a 7 year old who is also like that. We had some contractor over and she had to hug him good bye. Before I realized it, it was over. He smiled and said it was ok bc he had children. I have learned with mine, she just stays right by me. I tell her that people need space, and not everyone likes to be hugged. I tell her that we usually reserve hugs for people we know. She still does this, but it has gotten better. Another thing I tell her is that some people are not always nice and that never to walk away from me or get into cars with strangers. I have told her that if someone took her, they may not be nice to her, like we are. Then I say they may make you eat foods you don't like, or may not let you watch tv or... That may sound a little crazy, but when it comes to the kids, I just would rather be safe than sorry.
Good luck, sounds like you have a sweet little girl!

This is normal and sweet...embrace it....

On that note, not everyone likes random hugs....I rarely find people who do not like them, tho.

What I have done is to teach them that we ask first. Not--You can not give people hugz...but "You have to ask them to hug/kiss them first"

My kids are 5 and 8, and STILL give random hugs, but ask first, and respect people who say no....Its a great quality to have and in this day an age, I wish more people gave random hugs rather than think its wrong. The smiles they put on other peoples faces are priceless and they are kids--not mini adults...let them be kids, let them look thru rose colored glasses....let the hugs be her way of putting smiles on faces.

I don't know anyone who would not love a hug every so often and to be called a Princess--I bet your daughter made her day! :)

Teach safety, yes--as a parent of a kidnapped child, I can tell you right now- You are more apt to have your child taken by someone you know than by a stranger...and random hugging while you are right there is not going to get your child abducted....

I think it's adorable . . . probably made that lady's day!

Awwww, that's ridiculously sweet. I wonder if 3 isn't just a little too little for the "stranger danger" talk. I mean, you're not going to let her out of your sight at this age, right? Instead of giving her a big conceptual talk, can you just give her a replacement behavior -- "When we see a beautiful princess in the store, we smile and wave and say hi. Hugs are just for [list a few friends and family members]." She might have an easier time grasping the concepts of strangers next year.

My daughter is so protective of who she hugs and is openly loving too. I would love to get her a little bit of that innocence back. Don't wish it away.
I'm sure 95% of the people would love a hug from a little kid and the other 5% who cares=) Also I don't think people only kidnap kids who hug. I wouldn't lecture her on not hugging. Maybe a brief talk about not walking away from parents but not a big lecture. At 3 it's out job to keep an eye on them not theirs to worry about who'se a stranger. The bigger she gets the more detailed you get. Let her be sweet and 3 is my vote. I know there are some horror stories but its very rare.

awww. That's sweet! Probably made that lady's day:)

Maybe you can say we hug only people we know like our family and friends, and that strangers have family and friends that hug them so we don't need to worry about hugging them ourselves. That way she be satisfied with her idea that "people need hugs" (something I actually agree with- smart girl!), and that they DO get hugged, but just not by strangers. Even princesses.

Really though, the baby steps and then big hug- how ADORABLE:) I'm with you on the don't hug strangers thing, though.

At this age, my son walked up to a woman at Wal-Mart and said, "You look like a Grandma! I want to hug you!!" and proceded to give her the biggest hug he could!! Luckily, I live in a relatively small town, and the woman told him that she is a grandma, and she loves hugs, but we have had many conversations since then about respecting peoples personal space, especially stranges. Just yesterday, he walked up to 3 different people, only 2 of which worked there, and said, "Hi, my name is Charles. What's your name? This is my mom, A.! Do you want to know her phone number?" Luckily, they all seemed to get a kick out of the conversation, and one lady was nice enough to remind him that he should only give mom's number out in case of an emergency, like if he got lost.

We have an adorable book called "Never Talk to Strangers" which uses cute animals and rhyming. That's how I started with my girls. I highly recommend it. The authors are Irma Joyce and S.D. Schindler. I found it a great approach. Good luck! I know the dilemma, you don't want to stifle her love for life, or happiness towards people, but at the same time, you have to start teaching a concept of safety towards strangers!

Obviously, being that she is 3, she is never off playing somewhere without you so you can "keep her safe" but it's a good idea to start teaching. Try the book :-)

Precious! Sometimes I need a hug too!
Sorry, no advice, I think she will grow out of it. :)

I can understand your concern but if a little girl did that to me and made that comment, it would just make my day! My son wanted everyone to hold him when he was little. I remember going into a furniture store carrying him and he reached out to have the salesman hold him.

I think it's a good time to talk about strangers. You can validate her feelings and tell her you thought the lady was pretty too but she is a stranger and then go on about how we act with strangers. They are so innocent at this age and think everyone is good. I talked to my almost 4 year old son about strangers last night and said some might be not nice to him. He asked me if they would eat him. They just don't understand that there are so much worse things in this world. Even if a stranger won't actually eat your child, discussing boundaries is really important, especially with a friendly, outgoing child like your daughter.

The story is charming, but I do understand your concern. My daughter did this constantly. Now she's eleven, and she still hugs a LOT. The difference? We moved to a friendly town where we pretty much KNOW everybody she's hugging. lol

She knows where lines are drawn. She hugs teachers at school because she knows she's in a safe environment. She hugs friends of mine (mostly grandma and grandpa aged), hugs kids (mostly younger), hugs family. What I had to learn is that touch is my daughter's primary love language, and that she needs to hug people. It's her primary (and instant) way of connecting.

She's getting better at giving people "personal space," and she doesn't instantly hug people the way she used to, but with her own grandparents across the country, she's intent on treating these older adults as family. At the same time, she knows not to answer the door, not to get close to people when she's out in the front yard with her bike, etc.

Your daughter may be too young for the SAFE SIDE video, but it was really helpful to explain child-adult safety to kids, without scaring them. My kids like the video a lot, and it explains both strangers and "kinda knows," people who know our parents but who are not on the "safe list." These are statistically more likely to pose a threat than perfect strangers. Understanding personal space is also specifically dealt with... and in a real, tangible way.

Good luck!

I always told my kids - hugs and kisses are for family. Hellos and handshakes are for others.