People Touching You When Pregnant?

Updated on August 03, 2012
J.T. asks from East Northport, NY
26 answers

I keep seeing articles about people touching pregnant ladies belly's and how annoying that is to the Mom to be.

I am wondering how often this actually happens... I never had people walk up to me an just touch me with my daughter or with my current pregnancy (28wks now).

So did you have people come up and rub your belly? Were they people you know or strangers? How did you react? And would you ever do it to someone else?

Just Curious.... Thanks!!!

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J.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

It didn't happen to me much... People I knew were allowed to touch my belly, so I don't count them. I did have a few strangers, but most of them were polite enough to ask permission first, which I gave. Hey, if somebody wants to feel a miracle, why not let them? :)

although... I have always been really uncomfortable about touching other baby bumps, even people I know...

My all-time favorite experience though, was the little gay Mexican who came to my work. I was 8 months along, and this flamboyantly gay, short, petite Mexican guy came through my line. He sees my belly, and starts doing that tiny-hop-in-place-really-fast-hand-clapping move that is typically seen by teenage girls at a Justin Beiber concert, and says "OOOOH! Are we having a BABY?!?!? Can I touch it?!?!?" While rubbing my belly, he asks if I am having a boy or a girl... When I told him I was having a girl, he says, "Ooooh, she's gonna be a DIVA!" (complete with hand flip on the diva part...)

He was soo entertaining! lol. It just made my night. :)

4 moms found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from New York on

Yes...My MIL's friends, strangers, coworkers, MIL, relatives, etc. Only people, who know I don't like to be touched didn't try it. Most of the time I'd politely back away, evading the touch like a "kung fu expert." Guess that's why my son was born with huge leg muscles. (lol) I woul yell at my MIL's friends that I don't like to be touched. They'd say they only wanted to touch the baby, but I'd remind them that the baby's still inside me and that's my skin they are trying to touch. As for my friends and coworkers, I'd tell them I don't like to be touched and it's not ok just because I'm pregnant. I was a very depressed pregnant lady. Hated being pregnant to the point I'd wear regular clothing from the plus size section instead of going into the maternity section.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I only had one woman try this...and I slapped her hand. It was an awkward moment to say the least. I didn't really mean to slap her hand away, it was just a knee jerk reaction. I just mumbled, that I don't really like to be touched and the lady walked off.

For the most part, people left me alone. I have the Please F Off face perfected so most people stayed away. LOL

As a side note, I found a shirt that had Winnie the Pooh looking angry and it said, "Hands Off the Belly" I wore that thing out.

2 moms found this helpful

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Oh gosh yes, I attracted touchy feely people like I was a shiny lamp with a genie inside! Strangers, friends and family alike. I got very good at intercepting a too friendly hand and turning an awkward moment into a handshake.

Based on how much I hated having my tummy rubbed, I will never do it to someone else.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I worked at Steak and Ale for 6 years and up until I was 38 weeks along with my 2nd child. Good lord! That place was a mecca for the elderly and old people LOVE to rub on bellies! And heck, I was working for tips, so what could I do?

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

I had several elderly ladies touching me my first pregnancy and I wanted to SCREAM!!! I was out and about alot and I guess looked approachable. I didn't say anything and would just smile, answer their questions about how much time I had left and such, and kinda turn to my side so they couldn't continue to touch. My second pregnancy I looked like death warmed over so trust me, they didn't want to touch me!!

And NO, I have never done it to anyone else!! Good luck to you for the rest of your pregnancy and congratulations!!

2 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Reno on

Yes, I had this happen, as well... didn't care for it. Your question reminded me of this lady I saw at the mall. She had a t-shirt on which read: "I'm pregnant, but my belly is MY body- please don't touch". I thought it was brilliant! I commented on it and she told me she had several of these t-shirts made up so she'd have a choice in colors! lol Brilliant!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Utica on

OMG I hated that. I had both friends/family and strangers TRYING to touch/rub my belly with both my pregnancies and it was horrible. I just stopped ppl right in their tracks when they went to touch. There is a thing called personal space and ppl rubbing all over you is def. an invasion of that space - not to mention how itchy your skin is from being stretched and when its touched it gets even worse

2 moms found this helpful

B.S.

answers from San Diego on

I had people touching my stomach constantly and I hated it!!!!!
They would ask "mind if i touch it?" like as if he was going to stick his hand out and shake their hand!

Get her a shirt that says you can look but don't touch!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Shreveport on

With my first I had it happen as soon as I started showing..about 7 months on out. Pissed me off to no end. One day I got fed up and slapped the hand of one woman. I told her she didn't bother asking, I didn't know her, and how would she feel if I reached out and touched her. She wasn't happy adn told me I had no right to slap her hand. I told her she had no right to touch me. She stormed off in a huff.
From then on if I saw someone coming near me I got ready to slap and she was the last person to touch me.
With my second pregnancy I didn't run into the problem and I think it had a lot to do with the state we lived in at that time.
In the state we live in now I dread if I were to get pregnant again because I see it happen to a lot of our friends. I tell them to slap their hands or grab their breasts to get the point across of don't touch.

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I had it happen at least ten times with each pregnancy and I hate it. It was a mix of people I know and random strangers. Always women by the way. I can only assume the people that do it enjoy when others do it. I just don't like being touched. Heck I think I was 30 before I could even stand hugging people.

Yeah I am strange.

I just smiled and got away as quickly as possible.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

All the time and I hated it. I sported the "basketball" look when I was pregnant and if I can be conceited enough to say it... it was cute. :)

Most of the time, it was at the grocery store and always women. I tried to be a good sport about it and I was never rude to people, but it became so tiresome. It also felt disrespectful- seriously, a total stranger touches you in a personal way? How is that okay just because you are pregnant????

Once, when my husband and I were out, an aquaintance that I didn't know well reach out and touch my belly in the middle of a Braxton-Hicks contraction. I think it freaked her out more than it bothered me.

Even before I was ever pregnant, I never touched another woman's belly. It just seemed too personal. And now, more than ever, I would NOT do it!!

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I actually had the pizza delivery woman rub my belly and then slap my thigh like I was a racehorse _ weird to say the least. I didn't know what to do with that one, so I just paid her, looked at my husband stunned (yes both of us were stunned) and we never ordered from Mr. Jims again!
With my first, it was mainly older people and children that touched my belly uninvited so I would simply step away or walk far enough where they couldn't reach me. My second, I worked at a hosptial and no one was phased by the site of a pregnant woman and I was (blessfully) touch free. It was also a winter pregnancy so less obvious.

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S.E.

answers from New York on

my & my fiances family members & friends did that aaallllll the time, everyone wanted to touch my belly when they saw me. but as far as random people i didnt know, it only happened once and it was a little old lady so i wasnt too bothered by it. but i remember when i first got pregnant everyone warned me about all the weirdos who would want to rub my belly... my neighbor said when she was pregnant it happend all the time n really creeped her out.. id be creeped out too! im glad that didnt happen to me.. i would never do that to someone i didnt know

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J.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I didn't have people do it to me...thank God! I am not touchy feely person like that! I think it is an invasion of personal space and do not like it when I see people do it. That is a person's belly you are rubbing, NOT the baby.

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K.H.

answers from Reno on

I will be 39 weeks tomorrow and this happened more in the middle of the pregnancy-people still do it at church but strangers have backed off lately-I'm assuming it's because it looks like I have a torpedo in my tummy:)

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

I was so excited to be pregnant, I loved when people were excited enough too to touch my belly! Strangers, friends, I didn't mind and even liked it. People are excited to welcome another human into the world, or just reveling in the biggest most amazing miracle of nature. I'm a fan of anything that puts more positive energy into the world. If you can make some old lady's day by letting her touch your belly and feel new life growing, why not do it?

I do restrain myself from touching people's bellies because I get that some (if not most) people find it invasive. But OH how I want to.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I never had a complete stranger do it, but I had someone I didnt know well from another department try, I just told her no. She acted like I was the biggest b*tch ever but oh well. The girls I work with everyday knew I hated it (I had PIPPS, a terrible rash brought on by hormones), so they made a game of it to walk up quietly and get a quick touch before I swatted them away. They thought it was funny, and I did too, So it wasnt a big deal.
I never had anyone do it at the groc store or anything, I would have yelled at the person for sure if they tried, people are really creepy sometimes.

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N.D.

answers from St. Louis on

I deal with alot of people at my job and everyone including coworkers want to touch the belly... At the beginning when they would ask when i was due i would say um 3yrs ago. They totally were shocked and have yet to try and touch my belly. I loved the reaction! Now however i am 30 weeks and huge and can't get away with it. So if they ask i usually am ok with it, most people have learned to ask. Others don't ask and i have just learned to deal with it. However i would never do that to someone else.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Mostly only family have touched my belly while pregnant, I don't think any complete stranger or even mere acquaintance has. Adults anyway.

My first pregnancy I worked at an elementary school and got kids coming up to hug me, rub my belly, talk to the baby all the time. Sometimes another adult would correct them to ask before rubbing the belly but I didn't really didn't mind. My first baby got so much love and attention on the playground every day (in utero) it was great. The excitement of the kids really enhanced my pregnancy.

My second pregnancy I was working in a Jr. High school. Totally different story. Occasionally a kid would ask when it was due or suggest a name (usually the students own name) but not a one ever hugged or touched my belly. They really weren't that interested in it, I as kinda sad! Must be the age, or maybe also just different neighborhood, socioeconomically and culturally different.

1 mom found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I have a brother-in-law that would do it every time he saw me. For all three pregnancies! I hated it! I would usually try to avoid having to get close to him or give him a hug. I wanted to say, would you like it I patted your belly? I could never bring myself to say it, and I still get po'd thinking about it!

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A.L.

answers from Austin on

It happened a couple of times to me. Mostly people I knew, though a couple were just sort of friends-of-friends, and that was aggravating.

I was told once by an anthropology professor that it's a very old tradition in our psyche that predates Christianity. If you are jealous of someone, that counts as a curse, and the way to counteract the curse, is to touch the person. It's the same reason a stranger wants to touch your baby, or pet your kid on the head, and maybe even the same reason you see people running their hands on a beautiful old piece of machinery at a classic car show. Counteracting bad vibes - we don't even realize we're doing it sometimes.

That doesn't make it any less annoying, though, but easier to understand the impulse.

I always wanted to have a t-shirt printed with a picture of a goldfish in a bowl, and a sign that says, "Please don't tap the glass."

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

It happened to me both people I know and strangers. It didn't bother me, but talking to friends and people I know, I became aware that it does bother some women. Just like, being told I was "Big" when I was pregnant it didn't bother me either, I was having a baby, duh... I said it this one co-worker of mine, and boy did she bite off my head. I have a theory, "most" (not all) skinny women have a problem when they are pregnant being called "big" or something like that.

Back to your question, it didn't bother me at all as long as they were women and children, I didn't want men to touch me, other than my husband or my dad. My BIL did and it felt so weird.

Heck, with my first child, I had my college roommate feel my breast because I had no idea they could get so HARD and big.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Strangers never did this to me, ever. I have been told that I have a face that looks angry when I'm not actively smiling. I don't think I looked that approachable - ha.

I had more friends touching my belly the second time around, probably because I had more friends in general and more friends who were moms in particular. I didn't mind it because it was always good friends. I have touched other pregnant bellies, but usually because I was invited to do so when the baby was kicking, etc.

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-.-.

answers from New York on

Yeah, people did do that to me. Co-workers, friends, strangers.

I felt uncomfortable with it because I've never had people (other than my doctors) rub or pat my belly before. Sometimes the rub/pat would happen so fast I didn't step back fast enough. Sometimes I was cornered!

Anyway, I had to warn repeat patters that my belly skin felt so stretched and overly sensitive that even a light touch made me feel uncomfortable. Some of them looked like they didn't believe me, but oh well, it was the truth and they put their hand away.

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J.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

I don't think I had a stranger try to touch my belly when I was pregnant. I did though have friends touch but they asked first to see if it was alright. It never really bothered me. If I know the person who is pregnant I always asked first never just did it.

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