Hi Moms ~ so my daughter is 5 and she picks at the skin on her fingers so badly that they are red and bleeding. She used to twirl her hair and that has given way to the finger picking. I can understand since I both twirl my hair and pick at my fingers (I know, the like-mother-like-daughter is not lost on me). It seems like the dry air is making her skin dry and making it worse.
Have any of you had any success in deterring your child from doing this? It just looks so painful! And I may be able to use your advise for myself too :)
Thanks Moms!
There is a counselor in Naperville named Jane Bodine who specializes in picking disorders. She can help you come up with strategies to stop this. I recommend lotion and thin cotton gloves too. Good luck.
Thank goodness I am not the only one who does this!!!! Mine is stress related and was at that age too - I picked and bit until it bled and hated the pain and did it more - sigh. Bribe her with nail polish and special lotion! Do your nails together - when you see her do it ask her what's on her mind. Chat with her a bit and maybe she'll let on what's up. Best of luck and I'll be taking notes from the other posts - lol!
I need some help with that myself. When ever i am stressed or with people i don't like i start in on my cuticles.
I would suggest at night when she is asleep rubbing some really good lotion on her fingers like aquafor or maybe even a vasaline. if they are raw already maybe some neosporin, perhaps a bandaid? unless that would encourage her more. what ever you do don't bark at her to "stop picking" just hold her hand or give her a lovie.
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You are singing my song. I didn't twirl my hair but the finger picking/dryness is a REAL problem (at least it was).
Replace the soap in your bathrooms with CeraVe moisturizing soap in EVERY bathroom and leave a pump at the kitchen so you can wash your hands there too!
It is the VERY BEST change I made. Yes my skin still gets dryish...but not cracking and MISERABLE!
The picking is because her HANDS need to be busy. When you are too busy doing something else you no longer pick. Very little idle time will help the picking but the CeraVe will cut the dryness to almost nothing and then the bleeding will come to a screeching halt.
This makes me sad! I was actually afraid of it being stress or nerves with my little boy (4 yrs old). He does it and we try to stay on top of it.......but last week we had to put a bandaid on his thumb.
What worries me is what is he stressed about? Am I too hard on him? What in the world should a 4 year old have bad nerves about? :(
I will say that it has stopped a bit since (a) having to have a bandaid on one, and (b) we did start keeping them lotioned up.
My spec needs daughter absent mindedly does this, but not to the point that it bleeds. If I catch her doing it I say, "hey, stop picking your nails, you want them to look pretty for the polish!" This has helped as she loves to have her nails painted and doesn't want them to look 'ugly'. So I just remind her of it. Not sure if this helps or not but maybe painting her nails will help. Good luck!
My daughter used to do this too, but it was definitely related to trauma and stress. She received 3rd degree burns on her hands when she was just 1 yr. old from touching a glass fireplace. So fast forward, any emotional stress in her life caused her to start picking on her fingers....it took a tremendous amount of emotional intervention on my part...every day, several times a day to love on her and remind her what she was doing to her hands was not healthy, that it could lead to permanent scarring, we would slather with vaseline or aquaphor or thick lotion at night and kiss her hands good night and remind her all the time to stop picking.....she just kept saying she couldn't stop, and I kept saying, 'YES YOU CAN." I read that if a child starts or says something negative a thousand times, that you as the parent have to counteract it a thousand and one times....just keep being there for her, keep correcting, keep distracting, keep reminding her....mine has finally stopped.
All I can say is keep her distracted and focus on something else where her hands are busy so she can't do that. My DD is the same but bites and picks her fingers and if we don't watch she'll do it to her toes...Ugh...We found that if we keep her busy it is less...I know I can't stand it either Ugh..
I bribed mine w/ the promise of a professional manicure if she stopped. She picked her actual nails vs the skin so I was able to establish a goal of the nails to the end of her fingers. I gave her something else to pick at while she sat and kept reminding her. It did work but I may have been lucky. She still does it a little but not badly. You could try teaching her another habit like to twiddle her thumbs or if she has nails, use her nails to clean under her other nails. Gross I guess but I do it when I'm fidgety and it doesn't hurt anything at least.
This is just an idea...it worked for us. This method gives kids a little bit more one on one time with Mom and also helps the condition of their hands. Create manicure and pedicure night and work your way up to it weekly. Nightly put a slathering of crisco or coconut butter on her hands and put on thick cottongloves and have her sleep in them. In the morning she uses gentle soap to wash them and they are nice and soft all day long. On mani/pedi night you bake an item either something from scratch or something quick and easy as pre-made cookie dough, set up some "fake" candles(as not to give her any ideas or burn her) put on your/her favorite music and set up a big fluffy towel on the floor and remove old polish, rub each others feet(massage) with great lotion, wipe down the nails with remover after the massage and apply a cute nail polish. This gives her a chance to have your undivided attention and talk, she gets your positive attention which reduces her stress. It is a ritual that can turn into your child's time to have access to you even if you are a busy lunatic the rest of the week. The nightly time to put on the crisco and gloves is also a shorter opportunity but still an opportunity to do positive interaction.
I bite/pick at my nails until they are so low that the cuticles crack/bleed when I am stressed or nervous and now I see my little boy doing it too. I use aquaphor and either band aids or cotton gloves meant for hand moisturizing at night to combat the craking skin. I do this less if i let my nails get a little longer, maybe let hers grow out a little so she cant pick at the skin as much? Also, with my son I just kiss his hands and tell him i don't want hm to give his hands owies (he is 2) and it seems like it is helping some. In addition I am trying to be better about not doing it myself.
