I sent this message privately to A., but she encouraged me to post it to the group, so this is what my response to A.'s request about the nail biting issue was:
>>>>>>Hi A....it sounds like you received lots of advice, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in there. I find I don't fit into the "rewards/punishment" camp. It just doesn't feel good or right to me, and I think it teaches kids to do things based on the reward or the fear of being punished. It doesn't really teach kids how to make responsible choices, how to trust themselves, or how to take care of themselves.
My suggestion is to spend time with your daughter taking care of your hands. Perhaps you could put a little bag or basket together with hand-care supplies for each of you, and then spend time once per week treating yourselves (and your hands) to some pampering. Show her ways to make her hands *feel* good. Let her do to your hands what you do to her hands. I wouldn't make it so much a reward (or punish her by not having that time together if she ends up continuing to bite), but more just a way to help her take care of her body, and feel good about herself. If she ends up biting, then on the next hand time you do a little extra to help her hands to feel better.
I would get some high quality, natural soap (maybe lavender as it is gentle and soothing), massage oil, cuticle oil, a file, little clippers, a nice cloth, nail polish if you feel she is old enough etc. Then you could each wash your own or eachother's hands, give yourselves or each other hand massages, learn about the accupressure points on the hands together, take care of any hang nails or torn cuticles, paint her nails (not because it taste's bad and you don't want her to bite them, but becuase it's another way to take care of your nails and to feel 'pretty'), and then go make some tea together and sit and admire each other's hands and how good it feels.
Just be together.....Help her to find ways to feel good about her hands....not base her worth on whether or not she's biting or not biting her nails! The more she bites, the more comfort and care her hands are going to need. I think this will make her feel really good about her hands, rather than judged and punished for something she may or may not be able to control.
I hope this helps!<<<<<<<