Daughter Waking at 2Am....

Updated on December 08, 2008
A.J. asks from Nashua, NH
7 answers

Hi. My daughter will be 3 at the end of the month. She has always been a wonderful sleeper, going to bed at 8pm and not waking until 8am. For the past few weeks she has been waking between 1-2am and wanting to start the day. I've explained that it's still night time and we need to sleep. I've tried putting her back in her bed (a hundred times), laying down with her and my husband finally brought her into our room with us... I know BIG NO NO. Nothing seems to be working.

Any suggestions would be very welcomed;) I am exhausted and she must be too!

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi A.. I'm going through the same thing right now. My daughter will be three at the end of February. Her magic hour is between 3 - 4 am. (Last night it was 4 and I am now exhausted this morning.) And who does she call out for? Mommmy, of course. Daddy meanwhile is sleeping soundly.

As tempting as it is to bring her into our bed, I am resisting that completely. I know her, it would start a habit that would be traumatic to break. So instead, I go to her bed. It seems like the lesser of two evils right now. I sleep with her until she falls back to sleep and then like a CIA spy, I slither out of the bed so as not to wake her and tiptoe across creaky hardwood floors back to my room. The worst is when she hears the hardwoods creaking (I swear this girl has mastered the art of being both completely asleep and completely awake at the same time!), wakes up and we start the process all over again.

I have turned the heat down really low at night to help her (all of us) sleep better. I think sometimes it helps, as some nights she actually will sleep all the way through. But apparently it's not the only answer, because it's not foolproof. I really think it's just another sleep phase that will work itself out. She understands fear now, and so instead of falling back asleep when she wakes up during the night, she starts to feel alone and afraid in the dark.

I usually give her a few minutes after she calls out, to see if she'll fall back asleep on her own -- and on occasion she does. It's like she's calling out in her sleep. But if her cry out gets louder and stronger and ends with "Mommy, I'm scared," then I'll go lie down with her until she falls back to sleep.

Hang in there.

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L.O.

answers from Boston on

When my daughters were about that age, I put a digital clock in their room. They could count up to 10 and recognized their numbers, so I told them they couldn't wake up until the first number on the clock said "6" or "7". I also set the clock late, so that when it was really 6:20 the clock turned 6:00. It has always worked. Now that my kids are older, they still follow the "6" rule - even though they know their clock is set wrong - LOL!

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L.S.

answers from New London on

Also, have you tried cutting out her naps? Does she say why she is getting up? Does she need to use the bathroom, is she thirsty? You just have to put her back and tell her to stay in her bed (a hundred more times). Or you could put a little sleeping bag on the floor in your room if you want, but this creates another habit. Her waking up in the middle of the night shouldn't disturb you or your husband. If she wakes up she could sleep on your floor but can't wake anyone up. She is old enough to know that it is night time. She just wants company. You tell her that she has to stay in her room in her bed or she can sleep on the floor in your room but those are her only options and she has to go back to bed and not wake anyone up. If she does, it is back to her room she goes. She may cry etc. but you need to gain control back. This is becoming a habit and it is working for her. She has you and your husband awake in the middle of the night. If she gets up just put her back in her bed. Say goodnight, close the door and leave. It is up to her to go back to sleep.

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B.L.

answers from Springfield on

I noticed when my son was little that he did this to...I soon found out that he was going through a growing spurt.

Try changing her sleep pattern a little. run her ragged during the day and keep her up just a little bit longer at night ..also try one of those sleep machines..my grandson has one and he goes down at 8pm and now sleeps until 7-8 in the morning.
It sounds like someting has disturbed her sleep pattern in some way it could be ..any thing from dry heat in the house to god knows what...but you have to try something.

What ever you do ..please dont get into the habbit of bringing her into your room...my sister did that and at 7-8 my niece still wanted to sleep with her...it became a habbit.
its a tuff thing to work through but once you get that sort of habbit going its very hard to break. But seriously try one of those machines...I think it helps them sleep with back ground noise so every little noice does not wake them up.

Also try to sit and make s list of any thing that has changed in the last few months..right down to the laundry detergent that you use..on the sheets, pillow, things like that. You might find if you think about it something in your routine that changed that could have caused this to happen all of a sudden. Or..even talk of Santa coming is enough I found with mine to get them up at night.

Best of luck !!

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

why would bringing her to bed with you be a no no?? co-sleeping is one of the best remedies for many sleeping disruptions. It may take some time to adjust, but that may just be the answer for you! Try reading the nighttime parenting book by Dr. Sears, it is an excellent book! Also check out askdrsears.com
Good Luck!

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A.W.

answers from Boston on

I wish I had some advice for you, as I am going through the same ordeal with my 3 year old. He crawls into bed with my husband and I and of course neither one of us even feel him come in but then when he becomes very comfortable he drives my husband crazy! Kicking, twisting, scratching his back, sticking his feet in place nobody wants them etc. I had a friend tell me the other day that it won't last forever because it's exausting fighting with them and the lack of sleep stinks. Good luck to your family I know mine is working on it!

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

When my sweet daughter was her age, mine is 21 now. She did the same thing. I just made sure she did not have naps anymore, of cut them in half. I also made sure she was very active in the day time, lots of fresh air! I would not even bring a sleeping bag in your room, my girlfriend did that....her daughter slept on their floor until she was 13!!!! not a healthy way to go. If your little one gets up, put her back with her teddy with a hug and a kiss. Just keep doing it, and do not bring her to your bed, she will never sleep in her own bed again if you do that. Good luck!

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