Daughter Will Be 4 in 4 Weeks Still Comes into Our Bed in the Middle of the Nigh

Keep putting her back in her own bed whenever she gets out, and eventually she will learn that she has no other option.

We always get out of bed and walk him back to his bed and kiss him and tuck him in quickly, as often as necessary but he know the rules because we are consisitent

Okay... my kids do that too. And still do at times. My kids are 4 and 8 years old.

For me/Hubby... its no big deal.

When I was that age... I did that too.
I would simply miss my parents and get 'scared' in my room. I would wake in the middle of the night, creep down our LONG dark scary hallway to my parents room, and squeeze in between them. They let me. I grew out of it.
It was... one of my FONDEST memories as a child... of my parents.
I still remember it, to this day. I loved them... for doing that.
How a child goes to bed... will form childhood memories, for a child.

They do grow out of it...

Or, let her sleep in the floor in your room. Me/Hubby, have a floor futon on the floor in our room... for our kids, or when they are sick or have night mares. Its no big deal to us.
That way, we and they, get a good sleep.
We choose not to battle it.
One day, kids will not even want to be near you.
It is all about age stages...

all the best,
Susan

It's pretty normal. Our son went thru a phase like that and like all phases it passed.

You are not going to spoil a child, ruin their sleep habits or turn them into little people eating zombies (lol-some people make *such* a big deal about kids needed mom and dad at night that some people sound just a ridiculous lol) Hello-parenting doesn't stop at night! You are giving them comfort and security.

We actually bought a small cot for about $25 from Wal-mart.com and set it up next to our bed. DS could come in if he needed to and without even disturbing us, he'd hop in his little cot and go back to sleep.

DS has been a fantastic sleeper since he was around 7 months old. But all kids hit bumps in the road. They don't necessarily understand why they wake in the middle of the night. So what do they do? Head straight for the things that they find love, comfort and security in-Mom and Dad. Not such a bad way of thinking in my book!

It will pass. I promise.

We lock our son (2) in his room because if we don't, he seriously won't sleep. He just keeps getting up and trying to come into our room. He's never slept in our bed or room and never will. I'm not creating that habit.

If he wakes up and cries or yells at the door, one of us gets up and goes to tuck him back in. Most of the time, he gets up, checks to see if the door is locked, and when it is, he goes back to bed. I've watched him do this a million times on our video monitor.

If you can intercept her in the hallway, that might be best. But otherwise, just walk to her back to her room, no words and tuck her back in.

I hate to tell you this, but my 8 year old son STILL comes into my room every night - I draw the line at him sleeping in my bed since we all sleep naked,and thats a bit weird.
I have got him one of those flop out sofa beds for kids, I keep it in my room, he is allowed to come into our room if he quietly brings his blanky and lies down, if he wakes us, it's back to his room.
It works for us, my 3 year old daughter has always been a good sleeper, kids are all different, but I am of the school that if your kid is scared and needs you, then we should try to accommodate that

My 5 year old does it too. She was actually doing alot better for a while. Only a couple of times a week she would do it. I thought she was getting better. But about a month ago, something scared her and now every single night she comes into our bed. I don't find it because I work full time and I am tired and get up very early. I am hoping she will just grow out of it soon. My oldest daughter crawled into bed with me until she was 6. I have a friend who's daughter did that til she was 9! I think it is personal preference. If it is really bothering you, you should probably try to get her to go back into her bedroom. If its not bothering you, don't worry about it. Eventually, she will stay in her own bed.

My son did that for a while. They just get used to it if you let them. I would just bring her back into her bed. That worked for my son. Eventually he stopped coming to our room. Maybe you can also offer rewards if she stays in her bed. I told my daughter she is only allowed to have playdates if she sleeps thru the night. Good luck with that!!!

my daughter has NEVER slept in the bed with me unless she was sick or mommy just needed some cuddle time :), but she's always ended up in her own bed by the end of the night (me carrying her to bed). i remember me and my brother doing that as children, everyother night he would go to bed with mom, and every other night i would. i wouldn't let it progress for too long, so it doesn't get out of control, could just be a simple phase. if you're really tired of it, tell your child to stay in her own bed at night, and start enforcing dicipline if she does not. but be careful, because i've been so strict with my daughter, i never had that little surprise in bed with me, kinda wish i did just for a while but since i'm remarried now, it's not really a good thing for her to "sneak" in bed with me, not always decent.

We practiced family bed. If the boys come to bed and go back to sleep it doesn't bother me very much.

BUT both of my sons are early risers, and when they come to bed they frequently want mommy's attention. In this case, we've done some things to help:

There's a digital clock in their room. When they were young, I taped over the 'minutes' numbers, so that only the hour number would show. "You can't come into mommy & daddy's room until the number is a 6." That really worked well.

There were other things, most of which I got from "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre-schoolers" by E. Pantley.

So much good luck to you.

My kids never slept in our bed. They slept in their cribs, in their own rooms, since birth. and I have GREAT sleepers. That being said, both kids went thru a stage around the same age as yours, where they would get up in the early morning and come sleep in our room (years apart, not at the same time). they would bring their blanket and pillow and sleep on the floor on my side of the bed. They never got in bed with us and never woke us up and I never made a big deal about it. If they chose to sleep on the floor instead of their comfy bed, so be it! My daughter did this for a long time, a year or so, my son only for a month or so and then they just stopped! So maybe just let her sleep on the floor and eventually she'll just sleep thru and stay in her room. Good luck to you!

A friend of mine recommended that we put a sleepng bag or blanket under our bed for our 3 year old to use when she comes into our room in the middle of the night-no pillow. The point is not to let her get comfortable in our bed, but to limit her choices to sleeping in her own very comfortable bed or sleeping on the hard floor. We haven't tried it yet. Usally my husband just puts her back in her own bed and she stays there for the rest of the night. It usually doesn't wake me up until she kicks me in the back or something. It's almost like she's sleepwalking because she doesn't remember it in the morning. I feel for you. We, too, have a queen sized bed and our daughter seems to do gymnastics in her sleep! Good luck.

My daughter is 3 years, 3 months old and has been doing this for about six months. We do not mind it - although sometimes she'll get up before she's even had a chance to fall asleep and go into our bed and we wont' realize it until we go to check on her later!! She's very sneaky!! We tried the bed on the floor thing but when she crawled into bed with us in the middle of the night, either we didn't notice because we were too sound asleep or we didn't care because we were too tired. Either way, that didn't stop her coming into our room. Honestly, I do not know how to fix or change it. I have a friend (single mother) who's 9 year old daughter would sleep with her every night if she could. I am hoping once my son is out of his crib (they share a room), the two of them can cuddle at night if they need someone! But for now, we don't mind because I know before I realize it, she'll be too big to be wanting to sleep in our room, let alone be near us! So I'm just valueing this time! That being said, my son has never been interested in sleeping in bed with us - even when I tried while breastfeeding! He wanted to go back into his cosleeper after we were done. So as he gets older, if he starts coming into our room, that may be different because four of us will not fit into a queen bed (I feel bad about this because my daughter got to?). But also my daughter has a toddler bed. If she had a twin bed, when she woke up in the middle of the night, I would just walk her back and lay down with her.

how much sleep does she have in her when this happens? If bedtime is 8pm, then she has 5-7 hours in her already! & that may be the cause of this habit.....& habit it is.

You may want to look at her day "as a whole" & see if that bedtime needs to be moved back a little. & to stop the process of staying in your bed....It's simply a matter of YOU being in charge & remaining consistent - every single night - in walking her back to her room. It's up to you to enforce this!

AND please, no matter the temptation, PLEASE DO NOT LOCK HER BEDROOM DOOR. Every single time I read about parents doing that....I FREAK.....it is such a safety issue. I truly believe it places the child in harm's way. Peace!

It sounds like, at the beginning, it may have been from fear or stress or whatever, but that now it is just a habit. You need to create a new "habit" where she stays in bed: not allowed to bring her pillow in with her, sending her/taking her back to her room, maybe using a sticker chart for each time she stays in her own room the whole night (after 5 stickers or something, she gets some kind of special...a toy, a treat, etc.). When my 3-year old wants to nap in my bed with me, we explain that everyone has their own beds and that they sleep in their own beds. It's not even an option. I never slept in my parents' bed growing up. If there was a problem my mom came to me in my room (didn't get in bed with me, just addressed the problem), and that's the system we're using for my own children.

My son did the same thing last year when he was 4. He would come in without even waking us and sleep on the floor. We started a sticker chart--every night he didn't come into our room or every night he came in but went back to his bed, he would get a sticker. After 5 stickers he got a reward. It took 10 stickers and the habit was broken.

I had the same problem with my son at 4 yrs. My problem was solved when he crawled into bed with me the day that my (now husband) boyfriend moved in. he told him that since he was sharing the bed with me, there was not enough room for him and he would have to sleep in his own bed. my son accepted that as logical and had no qualms about it. i guess it had become routine for him. maybe u coiuld implement that and say since u got a new bed, there isnt enough room, or maybe u could get a body pillow and say the same thing. or get her a body pillow...

I have to laugh as a I read this because my son is almost 6 1/2 and HE still comes in my bed in the middle of the night most nights! I try to be stern and send him back to his room but honestly sometimes I'm so tired I either don't notice or don't mind. It's probably a different situation since it's just me, and I kind of feel like it will work itself out as he gets older, but I will definitely have to put a stop on it if it's still happening in a year! Good luck with yours!