my son is turning two in july and has always had someone to take care of him, usually his father. unfortunately we are going through a divorce at the moment, so a single mom it is. He has never really been in daycare and will be there for 91/2 hours a day.the usual caretaker was his father up until about one week ago, due to the fact i work full time. i'm really nervous about him being in daycare but i have no other choice due to keeping my job. his father has kind of left us in the dust and hasn't contacted to see me or the baby. i feel like im being a bad mom, i'm wondering how hard this will be on him. i need some advice here ladies :) what would you do? he will only be going to daycare tops 3 days a week or less becuse his grandmother will be watching him and i only work full time and have to wait a month to recieve assistance from the state. so it's 27 dollars a day and i make 9.75 an hour full time 160 hours a month. i have a vehicle but i have yet to get my license so i take the bus for now so i have to drop him off about an hour earlier and ahve someone else pick him up because i get off when they close.
See if you qualify fir dshs vouchers to help you out with daycare costs. Many childcare centers of all quality ranges accept these.
You are not a bad mom for putting your child in daycare. You are doing what you have to do.
One thing I will suggest is to be confident in your transitions. Go with him at least once before the Big Day, and hang out for an hour or so. Most providers will be fine with this. Your son will have an opportunity to see you being comfortable with the caregiver and in that space.
Then, when you do drop him off, do it well. Do stay and say goodbye. Do pass your son directly into the arms of the caregiver and be confident that he will do okay. He is a toddler and you are his barometer: if you are upset, teary or sad about this and apologize that you have to go to work, he's going to be getting a lot of mixed messages. However, if you are able to hand him off and tell him "Have fun and I'm going to be so happy to see you when I get back", he's going to know that YOU are okay with this. And never, ever 'sneak out' without saying goodbye. It's more traumatizing to the child, who now thinks you've disappeared.
Kids do get pretty upset at transitions, but they do adjust. I was the lead teacher of a toddler room for 2 1/2 years, and believe me, I have seen just about everything under the sun. Some kids do take time, and they all come around. Some will cry every day at drop-off for five minutes. I always reassured families that if their child was still crying 20 minutes from drop-off, I would call them. In my nearly 20 years of working with kids, I've never had to call a parent for that reason.
A couple other pointers: Label Everything. Everything. Shoes, diaper bag, wipes case/pack, bottles, binky, coats, extra clothes-- in short, anything he's taking to daycare should have his name or initials on it. Make sure any diaper cremes or ointments are stored up out of reach and not in his diaper bag. (Unless diaper bags are also on a high shelf.)
Another thing to consider: if you can find a daycare closer to your work, do it. You'll pay less in hourly fees, and won't get dinged with late charges. If your so is sick, you can be there faster to pick him up.
I don't know what other information you are seeking, so this is the best I can give you going on your post. And please, don't beat yourself up for any of this. You are in a tough spot right now and making sure you can take care of your family. You have my sympathies regarding your son's father... what a horrible thing to do, to abandon one's child and family.
I've been through this transition with new children in my daycare many, many times before. Try and relax. You are doing the best that you can and most providers know what they are doing. Just go with your gut and if you like the provider, trust her until you have reason not to. I have a feeling it will be harder on you than on him. Just know that it's totally normal for them to cry at drop off and be fine in a little while.
Hazel gave you lots of good advice. You are doing what you need to do. There will be a transition time for both of you. He will be fine in daycare. My daughter started in daycare at 12 weeks old. She soon came to love it there. Time with his grandmother should be fine, too.
There will be bumps in the road. Be sure to reach out to family and friends when you need to. People do want to help!
Hazel has a ton of good advice. Coming from a paranoid momma (me) I'd say if you can, ask around. Try to ask people that you know or your relatives know about daycares. Research the daycares, there may be reviews online... I have found a couple have reviews on google reviews. When I look for daycares I just walk in and talk to them and ask for a tour then. I don't schedule tours or anything because to me if your a good daycare I can walk in when ever and there won't be a grumpy caretaker yelling or kids about to fall off playgrounds or what-have-you. I walked in one daycare and no one was up front, I could've just walked into where the kids were and took a child because the caretaker had her back to me in a changing room (window between the front child care rooms) and the front area was completely isolated (it was a huge counter front area that should have had a secretary or something)... needless to say I didn't use that daycare. Those are my tips about daycares, especially if your nervous about it.
My daughter loves going to play with the kids at daycare (in-home daycare). Just stay in tune with your sons reaction after he adjusts. Most likely, he will be excited to go play with the kids (that's what I call it)... I don't say daycare to my daughter at all, I ask her if she's ready to go play with the kids at Bethany's (didn't use her real name).
If you get up a little earlier with him and spend time together in the morning it may cut back on him crying at drop off... my daughter cried a couple times but when I spent more time with her at home before we left she was fine and would actually ditch me at the door lmao.
I would recommend finding a licensed home daycare person (your local YMCA will have a list). Your child will get individual attention and you get to know the kids and families of those she watches. I know my care provider loves my children and she and her family come to their birthday parties. It will be great for your child to be socialized and make friends. You are lucky that they will be in daycare part time so don't worry. Your child will have best of both worlds. It's tough but you are doing the right thing.
Since your son will be 2 I'm sure he will love daycare!! It's a good age to start that. I run a Licensed Daycare in my home and have dealt with kids/parents in the same situation. Just know that the first and second week of daycare, there will be a great need of patience! He will need this time to readjust. He will probably cry in the mornings when you drop him off, but like another reader said, he will stop crying as soon as you get back to your car. You are not a bad mom for putting him in daycare!!!!! Just be sure you choose a GOOD place! I always tell parents to listen to their gut when choosing a daycare! Go to the Department of Early Learning (DEL) website and/or call...and they can provide you with a list of Licensed daycares in your area! Good Luck and take care!
You are being a good and caring mom by continuing to work so that you can provide for him. He will be fine in daycare. Both of my kids have been in daycare since 6w since we both have to work. Even when hubby was laid off and home for 4 months, my daughter still went to daycare so that her daily routine wasn't effected.
M.
Good luck! Your son will be fine. It may be an adjustment at first but he will end up loving it. Even if he crys when you drop him off as soon as you leave he will stop!
At 2 years old, he will most likely love it. Just make sure you find a provider that is motherly or grandmotherly so that he will have a secure sense that they "love" him too. I have always had that with my daycare. She is like a grandma to the kids. I don't know how I could have made it without that connection. He may also really love playing with other kids.
I am certain it will be hard on him because he is used to being around Dad all the time andnow dad is gone altogether. That is going to be a huge stumbling block for the little guy. My heart just breaks for him. Try to not associate issues that he may go through with daycare alone, he may very well take more time to adjust simply because dad is gone.
Its never easy to send your kids to daycare, but you are lucky if you find someone who starts to feel like family.
