Difference of Opinion with School Administration on Censorship of Activities

I've heard that song before and I never thought that it was anything explicit.
He's telling you to "crank that soulja boy". In my opinion, I thought that he was talking about the dance.
So many times we misconstrue things and we as adults pervert innocence.
I really agree with the administrator, there is no way a person would gather that song was explicit unless someone made you think otherwise.
Now I will listen to it to see if it is nasty!!

Lighten up

I totally agree - it's a very explicit song, my 2nd grader learned the dance in gym class - I called the school and read the lyrics to the principal and then what they meant you can google what rap lyrics mean - and it will pull up different sites that give the meanings - the principal was appalled and told the gym teacher not to do it anymore - if she hadn't i was going to take it to the PTO

I agree with some of the other post about going higher. You can google that song and print off the words. My daughter and I went through this when she came home singing parts of it. I looked up the words because I couldn't understand what she was saying. After being woke up from a dead sleep she now knows what she was singing and knows that she is not to listen to that junk. (and my children go to a Christian school) I would not just let this go like the school admin is hoping you will. Good luck.

I actually had the same problem this year with my 4th grader. The teacher was using an edited version, but the kids that knew the song were singing the real one. We had told our son that that song was not appropriate and he was not to listen, dance, whatever if he heard it. Well on a "free" day one of the students in his class wanted to teach the kids the dance to it, so the teacher played a portion. When my son did not dance he got introuble for not participating.

I emailed the teacher and attached the definition of "superman" from urbandictionary.com and I attached the true lyrics from the internet. I told her that just because she was using the edited version does not mean the kids are singing that one. I also told her that as the parent I have a more important say in what I want my kids exposed to and that it was irresponsible of her to force my child to go against our family beliefs and make him dance to the music. She responded with an appology and a guarentee that the song would not be played anymore.

If I were you I would forward the lyrics to the principal- if she doesnt know the lyrics, she may not understand how bad it is. If the words and implications would suspend or expel a student, they should not be used in a talent show.

The whole basis for your concern is about keeping you child innocent from such things as sexual music etc. Let me be honest with you, kids are going to educate your child once he gets to school. There is so much that other children knows and your child is going to be exposed to it. He is not going to want to be left out he's going to want to fit in,music is going to be shared, secrets, pictures and what ever else. My grandson was innocent to but when he went to middle school he came home asking all kind of questions about things other students said she then had to explain it the right way to him. All you can do is pray and let your child know he can come to you when he needs an answer. My daughter is also single with 2 children.

Oh Boy!!! Does that bring back memories. I had problems with my youngest boy when he was in 4th. grade. My opinion is they are not concerned with what the children are learning( teacher proved that when he said he couldn't understand them). It is all about the head count. The public school system gets x amount of dollars for ever child that is sitting in their desk after the morning bell.
When my son started having problems, the school board wanted to dope him just so he would sit in his desk. He was an a student. He just had trouble being away from me. I know this isn't the same problem you are having but; I can still see your concern for your child.
You are a rare parent to be that involved with your child in his daily activities in his class. More parents would do well to be that involved. Maybe our children would not be in so much confusion.
I battled with my problem with the school until finally I had to take him out and home school. It was the best decision I made on his behalf. He is 25 years old now and is the dearest and most caring young man.
I am not saying for you to take your child out of school. I would go to the school board and maybe get other concerned parents to go and protest. Research the kid's street language and inform the school board exactly what is being communicated within their little gangs.
God bless and keep up the good work.

There may not be much you can do alone. Do you attend PTA meetings? If so, it may be a good idea to let the other parents see the lyrics to the song. It is easier to ignore one, but hard to ignore many!! The lyrics aren't intended to be sexually explicit, it's simply about doing dance moves, but I personally wouldn't want my child to be exposed to it in school because of the curse words in it. The edited version leaves out the cursing, but I had no problem figuring out what the missing words were!! I'm sure the kids at school have no problem either! As far as preserving his innoncence, more than likely that has already been lost. Kids talk, ALOT, and don't have much candor with their actions, so chances are, he has been exposed to so much that you have no idea about. Schools can't do much to preserve innoncence, but they shouldn't promote deviance either!

First no administrator should talk to a parent or any one like that. Second, go to the school board with your concern. If any one has a tape of it, give it to the school board. Tell them who you spoke to about your concern and the reply they gave. If there were inaproperate lyrics they should not have been allowed to play it.

You can go over his head and complain to your school board.

You can forbid your child to participate in or attend futrure talent shows so that he won't hear anyhting you find offensive. Keep in mind, however, that any time he's anywhere that you can't monitor what he's watching and listening to, he's likely to see and/or hear something you'd rather he didn't.

You can talk to your son about it. Explain to him why you don't think certain music, tv shows, etc. are appropriate for people his age. Talk about the way that song and others like it depict women and how he should REALLY treat other people, regardless of gender.
He knows that songs like that are out there. You can't shield him from that. What you can do is teach him mental self-defense.

Points from a former middle school teacher: All music to be used by students had to be reviewed prior to a public showing. There were time to where music wasre-recorded and various words deleted. Any music or skit with profanity and sewual content wouldnot be allowedbecause it nature did not follow the desired school behavior as set forth in the stundent handbook.

My thought is is that if your school has a parent-school council takethe issue to them. Many schools have them as open forum for parentail concerns. Next send your concernsin writing to the admin and the sponsor of the prior event and bringup the hand book issue. Yes our children will hear of things from other students but it is one thing for the school to let this happen in public forum!!!! If you do not get a response from them head on up the chain until your concerns are heard. Comments like the one you received are why we see young studts with STD, teen parents, and a careless group for authority. Best to you and your family values start at home but should be seen in our schools, like when we were young.

Hey L.,
The only thing I can suggest to keep it from happening again is to set up a meeting beforehand with administration to see what kinds of music will be allowed in the talent show.

if preserving his innocence means not talking about sex and letting him know what is appropriate and what is not then you need to wake up. if he's around 11 he's already having some sexual feelings even if he doesn't define them as such and in all likelyhood he's even masturbating. you have to talk to your son so that he knows about sex, it's risks, and respect for women. if you don't tell him that "superman that ho'" is not a quip you find acceptable or ask him how he would feel if someone talk about you in that way, he's going to stumble upon this kind of trash in the media and through friends and he won't have any of the tools to properly digest it.

a tool my mother used that helped me out was watching movies, the news, and talk shows (not the super trashy stuff). and discusssing the situations that the young people put themselves in, and what the consequenses would be for the character (ie for myself if i made the same bad choices). she never let me watch a movie where noone felt any consequences for their actions until i was older 16-17. so the standard teenage fare was out, and often grittier tales were in as long as none of the characters got off scot free if they made a bad choice.

You won't be able to preserve his innoncence forever.

However, what the administrator said to you was inappropriate. Take it to a higher level.... I discovered years ago that although it appears you may be only one rain drop in the bucket, in fact, that bucket may be full of other rain drops -- all thinking they acted alone. That administrator won't ever say to you, "Hmmmm.... lots of parents felt the same way." The higher ups will know lots of parents felt that way...

Just because she can't understand it doesn't mean you don't.

I can understand how this would bother you. It would bother me, too, especially the adminitrator's apparenlty uncaring attitute.

If the person you spoke to was the principal, then you can go over your concerns with the superintendent. If necessary, take a cd of the song, with a printout of the lyrics with you, so you can play it for him/her.

If that still generates no responsible response, so to speak, then you still may go to the school board meeting and express your concerns there. You may find a lot of sympathy with others who are also attending the meeting.

If that still doesn't work, write a letter to your local newspaper, explaining the problem. They may print it as an editorial.

Also, make sure that the version they played at your school IS the dirty version. At my kids' school, they play a cleaned-up version at music or pe. It still isn't my favorite, but since they made an effort replace the nasty words with less offensive words, it is better.

If your son is innocent, then he probably doesn't understand the slang anyway, no harm. But middle school they are around a lot of different cultures, so he is probably learning a lot more than you think. You may need to listen to what your kids listen to, I do. Soulja Boy is not that bad in my opinion, there is a lot worse out there.

Hi L.
To the moms that posted that you need to lighten up and the song isn't that bad, they need to do like Katie H and get on urbandictionary.com and look up "superman", "robocop" and 'supersoak". I could imagine what "superman that ho" might mean, and it was pretty explicit, but even in my imagination, I never got anywhere close to it's actual definition! IT'S NASTY AND DISGUSTING!!!
I agree with the moms that suggested printing off the lyrics and meanings and showing them to the board members. Maybe at the next talent show, they might require the participants to provide the lyrics beforehand.

There are some things that are appropriate for school settings and some that are not. Where in the world is this school???!!!! If the lyrics truly are not school appropriate that would not be acceptable in any school in which I've worked. Just as there are rules for appropriate dress and behavior at school. Our kids are not to display certain behavior--no PDA, no profanity, keeping certain body parts covered in their uniforms, etc.

As far as saying, as some parents have here, that "kids are going to be exposed to it anyway." Well it shouldn't be at a school sponsored function. Kids also need to be taught where things are and are not appropriate.

You've been to the principal so now it's time to take the lyrics over his/her head and talk to the super of secondary principals about your concerns. Parents and schools are supposed to work together on education and matters of decency and propriety concerning the students. Sounds like the principal is dropping the ball on this one.

As a parent, I did not allow rap in my home except for Will Smith--which shows you how old my daughter and I are. I exposed my daughter to the variety of music I was brought up with from classical, jazz, rock, gospel, oldies, etc. She chose her own favorite style. No matter how the other children were into rap, she was not into vulgar language as we did not use it in our house. So syaing they will be exposed to it anyway is copping out to one's parental involvement and placing "the world" in charge of your child's upbringing. I was not having it. We were aware of what was out there but it was OUR choice as to whether it was to be apart of our household. Just like what is on TV. I'd discuss these thing with my child and what was going on and why certain things were not acceptable.

As a parent I have control over the TV controls.

There are "good" rappers out there so let's not put all rap into one basket. I'm not into rap but I find these decent ones to make my point with my students and they love them!

You are right to be concerned & oppose this sort of thing. Don't worry that you'll shelter him too much. Do take it to the next level, and that's not all. Carefully check into what they are reading, what movies they're watching in class, and what songs are being played at dances and other events.
Does your son have to go to this school? Do you have any private school or homeschool possibilities? Public school 6th grade is a bad environment.

Children are going to be exposed to all sorts of music whether we like it or not. All we can do is be glad that we know about it also and can hopefully teach our children how to behave with all the peer pressure they experience. At least you are an active parent and attend the programs to know what is going on. It's just music and dancing in a public setting .. part of having fun at any age. Don't make too big a deal out of it or it will actually call more attention to it. As your kids get older you have to pick your battles very carefully (with them and also school administrators) and this probably is one better left alone. It's music ... our parents had problems with what we listened to also and there are 5 of us. We all turned out really good and pretty conservative actually.

L., I have a daughter on a squad at one of the Junir High schools, and I too feel some of the dances, etc. are way too suggestive........The best advice I have for you is go to the higher admin and stress your concerns. Hopefully, they will address the issue, to avoid it from happening again...Good luck..

The way it worked at our school was that all songs, even for dancing talents (and dances), had to have the lyrics submitted to the administrator, teacher sponsors, and/or parents involved and a decision was made about each individually. This helped keep explicit lyrics off the stage. You may want to suggest that to your PTA and the teachers for next year (and administrator if they will listen). If the PTA and/or teachers agree with you it will be fairly easy to convince the admin., or just over ride them. Good luck. . . it is difficult enough as parents to censor TV, music, and life without the school clearly giving in on their own and exposing our children to it. Hope this helps . . . good luck again!

I'm not sure what you can do, I haven't had the easiest time being heard either...

But I am interested on ideas you here on perserving a child's innocence in middle school. My son started 6th grade and it's bad....really really sad too :( The kids nowadays are subject to way to much grown up situations way too young...and the girls are the worst...I'm sorry but they are way to sexual.

Take it to the principal or even the school board. These kids should have a talent show coordinator (a teacher) who approves everything before it ever gets to the stage. If they don't have something like this in place maybe you could make that suggestion. They should be presenting the lyrics to any song performed and if anything is questionable they need to be directed to pick something else. Song lyrics can be found all over the internet for free so there is no excuse for not providing them up front.

Stop and think for a minute. What are the other kids going to be talking about in the halls and during lunch? The song you wrote about is very popular and plays on the radio all the time and so is the dance that goes with it.

I remember "Let's Talk about Sex" by Salt n Peppa playing at my first school dance when I was in the 6th grade and that was a looong time ago. It was something everyone listened to regularly back then and this song is what is listened to regularly now. I think you are right in protecting your children from obsenities but in this case I think there is nothing to be done about it. I don't want to shelter my children too much to keep them from being prepared for the real world either. I have a young boy here at work I supervise (I am military) for who grew up in a very sheltered environment and he is having a difficult time adjusting to everything around him. I don't want my child to be like that. For me, the best thing I can do is prepare my child for what this world has to offer both good and bad so he makes the right decisions when the time comes.

You did the right thing. Since starting with the head of the school didn't work, go about his/her head to the superintendent. Follow the chain of command.