My son is getting messier and messier as the days go by. He loves to dump all of his blocks on the floor, take puzzles apart and leave the pieces on the floor, etc. At the end of the day, when we ask him to help us clean up, he's been refusing. "No" is his favorite word (as it probably is with most kids his age), but how do we teach him that he needs to clean up if he's going to mess things up? It seems kind of silly to put him in a time out right before bath and bedtime, and it seems even more silly to take toys away the following day as "punishment" for not picking them up the night before. So what should I do? I know he knows how to clean up after himself...he does it at day care. He's just pushing our buttons and I'm not sure how to correctly law down the law. Any advice?
Thanks so much for all of your suggestions! I will be looking up the Barney clean-up song, but in the meantime my husband and I are making up songs as we clean up our son's mess. We've only been doing it for the past week, but I noticed that my son does pick up one or two toys now when we start singing and cleaning. You can bet we'll be continuing this method!
My son also learned the "clean up song" from Barney. I am not a huge Barney fan, but this totally worked and he cleans up every time we sing it.
Good luck.
Don't ask him to help you put the toys away. Tell him to put the toys away. And do it several times during the day. Have him help you put toys away before breakfast, lunch, dinner nap times, etc. I also don't see anything wrong with taking the toys away the following day. If he doesn't help clean up, tell him that you're taking the toys away until he learns to clean up after himself. Don't let him have any of the toys back until he cleans up. Then only give one back at a time. Hopefully that will help.
I don't think it is silly at all to take the toys away. What he doesn't clean up gets hidden or taken by mommy and daddy. Let him try to figure out where they went. When he doesn't find them, explain to him that if they had been cleaned up properly he would be able to find them. Return them to him for use the next day, reminding him that if they don't get cleaned up then they disappear.
If you are always cleaning up after him at home and never giving a consequence, it sounds like he has no motivation to actually do it for himself.
Make clean up time fun! We sing songs about cleaning up(pretty lame ones that I made up) we dance and turn on music. I make it into a game to see who can clean up faster. If he doesn't follow your lead right away just start cleaning up yourself and keep telling him how much fun you are having...eventually,he'll model your behavior. Remember, kids do as we do, not as we say!
Kids will say 'no' at this age, but to minimize, say 'no' less yourself. We use an alternative which is 'not for Sophia!" I monitor my voice inflection depending on what she is getting into. Bottom line, every time I say, 'not for Sophia' she stops what she is doing and redirects herself(got this tip from Dr. Sears) When she listens to me, I tell her she has good listening ears and give her a high five for listening so well(positive reinforcement).
Hope this helps!
With our 2.5 year old son, we have always had him put a toy away before he went on to a new one. For example, we read him 3 books at bedtime every night. He picks out book #1 and when we are done, he takes it and puts it on the shelf and gets book #2. We won't read book #2 until book #1 is put on the shelf. I put all the puzzles and "messy" toys out of his reach, but he knows where they are. If he plays with his blocks he must put them away before I will get him his puzzles. We've been doing this since I can remember and he now knows (most of the time) that he can't take every single toy out and leave a mess.
Obviously, not all his toys are stashed away and he will grab a bunch and play with them and leave a mess. It can be overwhelming when there are 30 blocks, race cars, Thomas Trains and books laying on the floor. Since cleaning up has always kinda been expected, most times he will clean up as long as we help him. I make a game of it and ask him to hand me the red blocks or put the big books away first then the small ones. As long as we are enteracting with him, he's happy.
Good luck.
T.
Our son is the same age and also LOVES to dump things out. We usually sing a pick-up song and get him to "help" us pick up. That said, lots of things don't get picked up at the end of each day - we usually just say, for example, that if he wants to play with toy A, he needs to put away toy B first. I think messiness is just part of being a toddler.
When we *do* take his toys away is when he throws or hits something and we've told him a few times not to.
Make it fun
Sing the clean up song by Barney
Show that you will help
Make it a small % of the toys or he will be very overwhelmed
Do it the same time of day for consistency
The dumping stage does end!!
I'm with Toni on this one. My daughter is 20 months old and knows that she can't take out another toy until the first one is cleaned up. It makes for a more organized toy area and less mess on the rug. Maybe it's a little anal but it's better than a disaster that you have to clean up every night after he goes to bed.
