HELP!!! My 2 1/2 Year Old REFUSES to Help Us Clean

Updated on February 26, 2008
C.B. asks from Stafford Springs, CT
5 answers

my son dorian downright refuses to help us clean up. we've tried time out, making it a game, and treats. we've resorted to bribing him and that doesnt work either. we are at our wits end, as he likes to dump stuff, then move on to something else. our house is getting trashed and i just dont know what to do!!! please help!!!

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B.B.

answers from Boston on

My suggestion is to get bins to sort the toys into. This works for me in my toddler classroom. You could also put a picture on the outside of the bin if you wanted to so he would know which bin the toys go into. Also make sure you don't have a ton of toys. You could take some and put them away and then you could rotate the toys when he seems to be getting bored with the toys that are out. My second suggestion is to make sure after he dumps a bin and is done playing with it, you don't let him move on to dump more until he picks up the first batch of toys. You will have to sit there with him and maybe even help him but don't give in, insist he cleans up and give him lots of praise when he does. Consistancy is the key. I hope this helps. Let us know how everything goes.

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R.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi C.,
I have a 25 year old too, and he does not always like cleaning up, especially when the mess is huge. I would limit the toys that he is allowed to have out (He can take something else out when the first toy is put away). When there are few toys the clean up song & me helping works.
When there is a big mess though I sort of have to trick him into cleaning-- I will say to him 'where is the fire truck, I can't find it!', and he'll go get it and I will ask him to put him in the bin, etc. This takes more time and a few of his favorite toys he will line up on his table, but at least they are off the floor and in some order. Or another way we will clean is have his dump truck or train go around the mess & give everything on the floor a ride to the storage bins where all the toys go.
Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Hartford on

One approach is that similar to John Rosemond's (an old-school approach to be sure.) He might advocate reducing the number of toys your son has access to (for instance, he is 2 1/2 - he can have access to 2-3 toys (and not huge bins of blocks - for example let him have 2 trucks and a ball.) If Dorian cannot make a huge mess, he cannot be expected to clean it up. Huge messes (easy to make for his age) are quite overwhelming to look at and contemplate cleaning (plus it is not nearly as much fun.) With my sons, we instituted a policy that if they don't clean it up and I have to, it is removed from the play area (put in storage.) I have also seen a few people recommend making a CD with clean-up songs (Laurie Berkner has a great one as does Barney) that can make it more fun and set a time period for the above rule (ie if the toys are not put away when the music ends, you lose them...) Just make sure there are not too many toys to clean up since then the rule is unreasonable. Hope any of that helps.

About Me: Former special education teacher, married almost 11 years, 36YO mom of 2 boys, ages 3 & 5 in CT. L.

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R.R.

answers from Boston on

I used to out the TOY in time out. For example, if 10 toys were out, I might say, " In one minute, let's choose 5 things to put away before we take any more out". (warnings of what is coming are always good). If the answer is "no", then I would say, "O.K., I will count to 10 and if one toy isn't picked up by then, it has to take a break until tomorrow."....Then DO IT!!! Continue this process until he follows your request, or all the toys are eventually in time out until the next day. This is a natural consequence...it is instant and it should work...I hope!! Good luck, and let me know!
R.R.

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S.G.

answers from Hartford on

Not that this is funny but i do have to laugh because my daughter does the same thing from time to time. And sometimes i'll give in and just pick up things and other times i joke around with her and tell her that if i have to pick it up then she might not know where i'll put them. I would suggest making a game of it but you already said that doesn't work. Does he have any other children to play with or see them picking up their toys?

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