Discouraging "Class Clown" Behavior?

Remind him of time and place. It is not appropriate to run in the library or talk really loudly there. It is not appropriate to talk about poop in school (though kids will do this...)

I would consider talking to the teacher and asking what he/she sees and how it's handled in class. It may be that it will die down quickly once he gets reprimanded in the class.

I would also work with him on polite ways to make friends and interact with people. My DD can sometimes be a bull in a china shop and we've role played introducing herself to people, reading their body language and understanding when getting up in someone's face is not a good idea. At one point she was roaring at kids and that was just weird. It got their attention but not in a good way.

If you say anything at home, a simple but firm, "That is not appropriate." can sometimes work as well.

If the teacher is any good, s/he should be able to handle it.

I wouldn't worry about it. You could ask the teacher what s/he thinks.

Underwear!! Ha! He'll be here all school year, folks. Tip your waiter.

Well congratulations on having a son who recognizes positive social reception. (I mean that sincerely.) I do agree with "poop" being best saved for the bathroom, but underwear is maybe okay to joke about...like that cartoon "Captain Underpants".

Bottom line (no pun intended), this is the age for silly humor. Don't worry too much about your little comedian!

... I have a son who is now 7.
Boys.
But per my son and the many varied friends he has.... I simply tell him "You KNOW what is right/wrong. So, don't be a 'copy-cat' of those trouble makers... or you will get in trouble too. THINK for yourself."
And he does. Or will.
The thing is, my son KNOWS darn well, who the "trouble-makers" or rascal kids are, in class. He KNOWS that. All kids do. My son, knows that. On his own. So I just tell him, don't be a copy-cat, think for yourself.... you KNOW it is wrong. Make the right choice. Be appropriate. And he knows, that. And/or he WILL speak up to a kid, if they are making trouble, or he will tell the teacher.

I have also taught my kids, since they were Toddlers, about how to "chose" friends.

I don't use techniques or rewards or punishments with my son.
I simply, tell him and guide him about common sense. And I am blunt and honest with my kids about it.

The thing is, a kid, even if young, knows what right/wrong is and what is appropriate or not. My son did in Kindergarten. He's in 2nd grade now.
And he KNOWS when or if, a kid is acting that way to get attention. He will tell me. And I also work at my kids' school, and what my son says is right on the mark.
He has learned to evaluate and discern other kids' behaviors, and reflect back on himself... and know, when a kid is making trouble and how HE CAN think on his own. Not just being a follow-along-copy-cat, classmate.

There is a time for everything.
Class time. Home time.
At each environment, a certain behavior is allowed or not.
There is a place for everything.
A kid needs to learn that, also.
Not in school.
Or... let your son learn that, by the Teacher having to call you or write you notes... about his behavior. Some kids will not improve, unless they are told by the Teacher and a note gets sent home.

My kids are 15, 12 and 10 and still find farting and burping hilarious. All girls, btw. They know to say "excuse me" though.

I think that he just needs to be reminded that time and place really matter for his comedy routine. That you better not be hearing from his teacher that he's disrupting class by burping on purpose or talking about his underwear.

With the underwear comment, I would not have ignored it, but I would have said,"We don't talk like that at school." and leave it at that.

I would correct him verbally, but not go overboard. Yes, potty humor is pretty normal at his age. And no, we didn't tolerate it in our house when our son was that age.
We didn't punish it either... it really never was necessary to make it that big of an issue.

The approach you took over the summer was how we handled it.
"Unless you are informing me about an issue you are having in the bathroom, I don't care to hear about your underwear." No sternness. No anger. No humor. Just... normal voice. Nothing drawing additional attention, just matter-of-fact.

And you can follow that same pattern with him doing that at school. He is coming home telling you he is doing it, so tell him, "Billy, keep your underwear information to yourself at school, too, unless you are having a problem and need to share something with the teacher. Nobody needs or wants to know about your underwear. That's private."
And end the discussion...

You could include his teacher "in the loop" that this is how you are addressing his comments at home, and hopefully she will be using the same tactic at school--matter of fact, nothing to see here, folks.

My kids pretty much dropped it. It was not EVER laughed at at home. Always just a raised eyebrow (if anything) and the monotone of "we don't talk about those things unless you are having an issue. That is for the bathroom...not ____ (the playground, breakfast table, whatever)." Or even dead pan: "I don't really care to hear about your underwear." And change the subject.

It won't stop him from telling you if he NEEDS to tell you anything... but will curtail the nonsense. At least it did for us.

Try NOT ignoring it.

If he wants to talk poop - talk about poop - make him an expert on the topic.

In medicine and biology, scatology or coprology is the study of feces (poop).

What it is (undigested parts of the food he eats), the digestive system in general, how everybody poops (there's a book by that name), how burps and farts and methane are by products of digestion, etc and so forth.

Don't forget animal (domestic and wild) poop (manure, guano (bat poop)) and hunters track animals by their poop too (does a bear poop in the woods - yes), dinosaur poop (yep - some museums have some fossilized dinosaur poop), and don't forget mythical poop - fewmets are dragon poop.

1 - it will take away the forbidden / shock aspect of it
2 - it's knowledge and eventually he'll talk about what he knows and can inform his friends (oh joy!)
3 - once he knows all there is to know about it - it will get boring and he'll move on to something else.
4 - you'll have a topic you can always bring up at opportune times like when he's a teen and he brings home a girlfriend ("Do you remember that time you wanted to know all there was to know about poop?")

I would remind him that he is to be listening when the teacher is talking... and if he's talking about underwear it better be at recess! Our daughter loves to socialize, and she knows that if I get a bad report from her teacher there will be serious consequences at home. (Like all her stuffies being removed from her bed... this is big time for her.) I remind her once or twice a week that she is to be listening when any teacher is talking.

I'm not sure you can really get rid of potty talk. If it was happening at recess, I'd probably say "Well, that's not appropriate for school, even though it is pretty funny."

My standpoint is if he's just clowning at lunch/recess, there's no harm. If he's talking during class time... he should know the consequences and you should react swiftly... be it "underwear" talk or just chit chatting with friends.

I also like the advice of the S.H. My MIL gave my husband a strong does of "march to your own drummer" and it worked 100%. He definitly marches to his own beat.

We laugh about "toots" and other stuff at home all the time... but I always remind them it is not appropriate at school or at the table. Come on... some of that stuff is pretty funny... if you're not laughing, you'd be crying.

Good luck.

It's just a phase...one that many kids (boys and girls) go through at that age. They think that kind of thing is totally hilarious. Just talk to your son at home about how he should talk, what is polite and what is not. Keep reminding him. But don't worry about this too much. Remind him before school to listen to his teacher and the classroom is not the time to joke and make kids laugh. Remind him how to be respectful of his teacher. He'll outgrow it. You can't really control what he does in the classroom, but his teacher can. Yes, he will be silly with his friends at this age. It's not that big of a deal though.

You've ignored bad behavior. It didn't work for you. Untill you quit being ambivalent about it, be prepared to hear it often.

Ignoring tantrums is sound parenting in toddlers. You are their audience. Only you.
At some point you are not the only one that is affected by bad choices. Just as your little one was introduced to this behavior, you bet he is inciting it in others. It's a natural part of this age, especially for boys, but if you don't tell him not to do it, he's going to think its a fine thing. Untill you are told during the parent teacher conference that LO is disrupting the class. You can bet the teacher is not going to ignore it. There is a time and place for everything. Your time for ignoring bad behavior was up a year or so ago.

Hmm... about your SWH. With respect to the remark about ambivalence, I'm assuming that the poster's definition of "ambivalent" is "uncertainty as to which approach to follow". (Apologies to the poster if I'm picking the wrong one in the online dictionary...otherwise, I wouldn't understand the comment either.) I think that what she is telling you is that you aren't sure whether you should ingore it or do something else. Well, true, BUT, that's why you have come here to ask what else you CAN do... one of the reasons for this site, quite frankly.

You are exactly right that tons of advice here on this site and others say to ignore some bad behavior. And just like you are hearing on this thread, sometimes this just doesn't work.

I would enlist the help of your son's teacher, and have a talk with the guidance counselor as well. I would think that a phone call would be sufficient. ASK the teacher to give your son a consequence for it. I promise that if it goes unchecked, he'll start doing this during class and disrupt the teacher's lessons. If she has a heads-up from you, she will know immediately what is going on. The counselor can actually give you some professional advice on what to do at home to discourage the behavior.

I agree with you that ignoring undesirable behavior is not a bad discipline technique. However, your son is a bit too old for that and far to blatant in his "love" for potty talk. Don't feel bad for trying it. It works with lots of behavioral issues, and many, many parents employ this tactic before abandoning it for more strict means.

My son totally went through this at that age. Everything was poop poop poop, with pee sometimes thrown in there. I think what I did was simply remind him that it wasn't appropriate at home, at the dinner table, wherever I needed to say it. I think I only mentioned to him a little that it was inappropriate at school, but honestly I'm sure the teacher deals with this EVERY year and knows how to handle it. And I bet a reprimand from her would carry more weight than one from a parent!

Good news is he has mostly grown out of it by age almost-9. At least no multiple sayings of "poop" for laughs. But he's a boy so there are still fart jokes, which I'm assuming last for the rest of his life if my husband is any indication :)

Ignoring poor behavior teaches a child nothing. Stop ignoring the behaviors you want to stop and address them the next time they come up. Tell him to stop using potty words and that talking about underwear in class isn't appropriate.

there are two separate issues here that you are combining into one.
Potty talk, underwear etc very normal for that age. But when you say class clown, I'm picturing him saying it when the class should be working/learning/ or listening.
Is he disrupting the class? Being rude in front of adults? Talking when he should be working quietly? It is hard for small children to know when things are appropriate and it's your job to guide him. As Leslie M said Tell your son this better have been at lunch or recess!! Do NOT ignore if he is disrupting the learning of others. let him know he can make the kids laugh on the bus, outside the school, etc but you do not want to hear from the teacher that he is calling out in class, or making the kids laugh when they should be learning.

Last year, my son met a boy similar to the one your child met. The boy even taught my son some more colorful language than what your son was appraised of, incl. 'boobies' and 'wiener' and "the F word" (no, not fart, although that one was bandied about).

I wrote a whole post on my blog (The Mother of All Words) earlier this year, but long story short, I conveyed expectations to my son, and kept consistent with my directions and consequences.

One thing I did have a very stern conversation with my son about was that he was especially not to use that sort of language--even the silly 'poop' stuff, in class at school. That this was out of respect for the teacher and the class rule of 'helping the teacher teach/helping the other learners learn'. If he was silly and used those words during instruction/class time, if kids were laughing at him, would they be able to focus on the teacher? How would the teacher feel about that sort of language in her classroom while she was trying to teach? And, if I *ever* heard of him using that sort of language (the swearing, not the general scatological talk) at school "your teacher will having a discussion with me, and daddy and I will be having a discussion with you. And you will be losing privileges."

I stuck to it. When he dropped the F bomb at home a couple days later, the world kinda stopped. He spent the entire afternoon until dinner in his room, the legos were removed for the entire evening (which was huge for him-- pick your son's 'favorite thing in the whole world' to remove as a consequence) and he lost his 'stay up' time he gets on the weekend.

The next day my son told me that it 'wasn't worth it' to use bad words.

So, that's how we nipped it in the bud. We've had a couple nights at dinnertime where we gave him one "go talk like that in the bathroom please" warning and then just removed his plate-- he was done with dinner because of poor manners and no, no food later on. Bummer.

In any case, that's what I would do in your situation: state the expectation, let him understand the consequence for any disruptive behavior on his part, and go from there. Kids are going to do/say those things at recess or in the bathroom at school, too. It just happens. So really, focus on 'letting the teacher teach' and let him know that 'if I hear from the teacher that you are using those words in class, X (consequence) will happen." Make it something that gets his attention. I ignored swearing when my son was little and couldn't understand the logic of good/bad words--just rephrased/redirected him, however, once he got older, he was held accountable for his language.

Um, guess what? Little boys find burps and underwear and poop hilarious. Moms (and most other grownups) do not.
Lighten up.

Welcome to boy-world. Potty talk is common. Expect your son to want to talk about farts & burps jsut as much as he wants to turn his brocoli stalk into a sword. Once they go to school they become exposed to all kinds of things you'd rather they werent exposed to. My duaghter came home telling me I should ask Emma's mom where she buys this "really yummy cereal that looks just like cheerios but all different colors". ;o)

I've learne dover the yaers to ask my kids about a situation that will lead them to come to their own conclusion about a situation.. So in the underwear / kids laughin story I would ask "huh - why do you think they all laughed?" "how did you feel when all the kids laughed?" "what other ways can you think of to make new friends?" "do you want to try some of those ways tomorrow?"

My son, now 14 and starting high school next week, is often the class clown and goofball. He's got amazing timing with his sense of humor and is well liked - although his teachers have commented from time to time about his humor. I always want to know - is he being disruptive or disrespectful? So far never. His teachers have always like him - even if he can be tough to get "grounded". His ability to relate to people, of all ages, and to be funny is part of his personality. God made him this way and his people-skills are part of who he is. I would never try to change that. My husband and I see our role as parents is to smooth his rough edges, and nudge him towards a future that is well-suited to the man he is becoming.

All that being said - I have had those moment (weeks, months, years?) where I worried about his outgoing, goofy, class-clown nature. It does concern me now that his desire to get a laugh at almost any cost has the potential for really risky behavior in his college years. So that's the thing we're working on with him these days.

Good luck mama - sending them off to school sets up this whole period in their life where you no longer know, or control, all the things that take place in their day. It is tough!

I always thought this was something that could be "taught" out of boys until I worked as an RA in the dorms one summer. I was the only female on the floor, and so it was a very unique experience. Anyway, I was introduced to more "potty" talk then I had known could occur in a lifetime! They literally sat in the common room and talked about poop (how it feels, how it comes out, shape, consistency, where you can go, public or private bathrooms, etc). Whatever one person said, they just took the conversation to the next thing, and it kept going for about 3 or 4 hours...nothing was off limits and the whole encounter was very educating. It was truly an experience that few women ever get to see. What it boils down to is that boys become men, but no where in there do they stop talking about peeing, pooping, burping, and other bodily functions. I would give up that idea because its just not going to happen. What you can do though, is teach them when it is appropriate to do it. Not around ladies or polite company, not in front of grownups, not at school, etc. just with other boys who are into having the discussions and aren't offended by them. Try to direct not eradicate and see if that helps you get what you want. Good luck!

Well, sure your son tries it out. There's a "monkey see, monkey do" mentality at that age (and at many other ages). Somebody does things that get attention and make people laugh; well, I like attention and laughter, so I'll do those things, too. It's like joining a game.

He's telling you about all this because he wants to know if it's all right, even though he doesn't come out and say that. You need to answer the unspoken question. Don't be too gentle - you need to be direct. And make it short.

"No, I don't want you to be like that. I didn't like Harvey acting that way this summer. It's silly and it's RUDE. I can tell you that Harvey was making your camp leader unhappy. It made leading hard for him/her. And the other kids got tired of Harvey. I can imagine them telling their parents about "that weird kid at camp." There are better ways to get attention. Can you think of one? ...So if you want attention at school, do it *that* way. Behave like Harvey, and your teacher will let me know and you're in trouble because I've just told you not to do it. Now, tell me what I just said."

If he asks you more about the matter later, be ready to repeat what you've told him. Some children need more time to process things.

If your son puts on a Harvey act at school or at home, well, you've warned him. Take away some privileges and take him away from other people. He shouldn't get any kind of audience, positive or negative.

It isn't too harsh. He didn't see the consequences when the other boy behaved that way - except the laughter. He may need to see consequences at home. Then he'll think, "Oh, THAT'S what Mama meant."

What will you tell your son when he says, "Well, when CAN I talk like that?" I know what my answer would be, but you need to know what yours will be.