My Daughter Is a Hoochie :)

You made me laugh with the question! My 2 year old has been pointing to my chest and saying "boobies". Where did she hear that from? Some girls are just friendlier than others. They pick up stuff from everywhere!!!

They are everyday words? That's a problem. You can't have them be everyday words, and then try to turn them off when you want to. Don't pop her in the butt, you are making it playful. It's a game, it's attention. You are reinforcing bad behavior. You seem to know it's coming from TV and radio, so turn them OFF. LEAVE them OFF. Don't LET her dance sexy. If she does, put her in a timeout, or whatever consequence you choose. Make there be a consequence for EVERY time she acts sexy or says inappropriate things. Every single time. Don't be playful about your daughter being too sexy. Like, making jokes about her behavior. Like, playfully calling her a hoochie. That attitude reenforces her behavior and makes it seem appealing. It seems you think it's a little funny, cute, or silly. That will not help. Also, acting sexy is NOT part of a four year olds personality. It's just NOT. She LEARNS this, and where she learns it from must be taken away.

ETA: If you didn't think any of us were correct in our assessment...you wouldn't have changed your ENTIRE post. If you don't like what people are saying, that's fine. Changing your post to how awesome and church going you are...will not help anyone actually give you an answer. LAME.

you put a smiley face on the title like thats funny? Maybe she gets it from you. Cant tell, if your being funny or if its a true cry for help. 4 years old, she shouldn't know about any of this, and the fact that she uses it and laughs about it, means you and your family encourage it. Either, by laughing about it, saying something about it, or "getting" it from somewhere. My 4 year old dances and sticks her tush out but she doesnt say booty, butt, or anything of the like. Cause we dont encourage it at home, or say it. I say, look who her parents are... ooops I think you are her parent.

You, your home environment, and all that surrounds her is her main source of where she gets the "ok" to do and say what she does. Hopefully, you can find a way to curb the usage of the words, and tone down the nature of the dances. Find a way to get her to see her self worth, and please what ever you do, dont call your daughter a Hootchie to her face.

You may find me mean Tracey, but I am DEAD serious. I am not christian and I find HOOTCHIE highly offensive. That you would even call a 4 year old this is, atrocious. It connotations are so beyond the fact that Hootchie momma and Hootch means prostitute and Sleasy slut for some! If you are asking a serious question then what your implying by your first sentence, is that she POSSIBLY could have been abused at some point, but you just dont think so. Then you allow your child to dance around sticking out her tush and you POP her on the butt. Why are you slapping a butt thats being offered? its a GAME. If you want to stop the behavior, then something that is NOT funny or fun based, must be done for her to realize this.

NIkki G: Humor I have, I have lots and lots of Humor, if you read 90% of my posts and replies I am the queen of humor and diffusing a situation. I am judging by what is written, we all do it. I also offered my advice, which I hope she takes some and stops looking like the victim. I DO NOT find calling your daughter a Hootchie, funny.

I am not going to edit anything I said, I will apologize if I offended T., I know that she is not a troll or a flamer. I was just very shocked and dismayed by the original posting. T. is generally a well rounded, educated, and entertaining asset to Mamapedia. I dont have to like everything she asks or says, same as her right to dislike or refute mine.
As for some, it will now look like I am a crazy, fire and brimestone kinda gal. maybe I am, though I stand pretty firm here in believing in what I wrote. I have a 5 year old child that dances very well. She is a class that delves deep into cultural dancing. Some of the moves she is learning, could be mis-interpreted by others as sensual. When actually they are meant to tell a story. So those who see her dancing will be told what she is doing. Never would I say, "m stop that it makes you look like a slut!" nor would I encourage or tolerate any kind of dance, talk, or action that would further let my daughter sexualize herself before she knew what she was doing or what it meant. We are the parents here, US. Not the tv, church, music, other influence. Our kids learn all our behaviors from US. If we allow that, then they think its ok.

You don't mention how old your daughter is but from your post I'm guessing she is under 6 years old.

For her nipple is a funny sounding word and the reactions of people when she says this word gets her to laugh even more.

Take the drama out of the response and she will move onto something else.

She is the baby in the family and the baby is usually very playful and fun loving even if it is unappropriate.

Don't be embarrassed when she says it in mixed company. She loves the drama from the audience.

Relax a little it really is not that serious. It will pass and she will move onto bigger and better ways of getting the masses to crack up. Perhaps she is a comedian in the making.

Well... hmmm... I have two four year old girls and you know what? They're not exposed to sexy stuff on TV. Nor do they hear "I'm sexy and I know it" on the radio. We don't have the TV on when they're awake, and we stick to older music so that they're not exposed to songs that aren't appropriate. So - I can't agree with you that ALL little girls are exposed to the same things your daughter is. To put it more bluntly: my girls have no idea what the word booty is. And they have no idea that sticking their bottoms out would be sexy when they dance. Actually, they have no idea what sexy is. And neither do their friends or classmates. If your daughter does, it's because YOU allow it. That means you can take the influences away. You mention SpongeBob and commercials. It's totally your right to let your preschool aged child watch that stuff... but if she's seeing commercials, she's seeing sexualized behavior. There are tons of things that we parents don't even pick up on that little kids do. And the words to some songs are awful. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a prude. I think "I'm sexy and I know it" is hilarious and I listen to pop music when my kids aren't around... but if they're in the car, we do CDs or listen to 80s music.

Also... you mention dancing around the house, and you "pop" her bottom? Huh? Do you mean you hit her bottom lightly? Well, to a kid who's interested in sexual things, you're probably reinforcing her behavior. You're giving her attention for doing what she's doing. How about simply ignoring it? And make some clear rules about words and dance moves and stick to them. Give her a time out if she uses words she shouldn't - don't yell and scream or make a big deal about it. Just put her in another room until she can calm down and basically ignore her. You'll no longer be giving her attention.

PS. Sorry - but you changed your post so much it doesn't even seem like the same one. Your first post certainly DID point towards your parenting (you mentioned letting your 4 year old watch SpongeBob, commercials, and listen to I'm Sexy and I Know It). And you wondered where in the world she was getting the inappropriate behavior from.

Well, T., I think THIS one is just different. They all have different challenges, right?

Plus, they all hit the 'phases' with varying degrees of extremity too.

Trust yourself, if you don't like it, don't put up with it then.

I pray this will be a short phase for you. But I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Well behaved women rarely make history". So perhaps she is GREATNESS in the making!

:)

So you think called your daughter a HOOCHIE which means pretty much slut at age of 4 is a good thing? Whats wrong with the word nipple? its a body part.I see you have very straight laced beliefs but i'm not exactly sure that going to church and Conservative are the only traits of a good parent? So she's sticking her but out kids do that and well if you think its sexual then it may be you that have the issue here.

Sorry, this is disconcerting (at least it was as the question appeared in its earlier version). Consider for a while what your daughter is exposed to. My 4 year old does not get exposed to "sexy" dancing or "sexy" lyrics in music. This is because I won't listen to any music that has adult content, themes and same goes for whats on T.V. I gave up all my trashy shows (like housewives) when my daughter was old enough to pick up on it. Yes it felt like a sacrifice, giving up music and T.v. I liked, but I don't see another way to raise a wholesome little girl. My daughter does not know the concept or the word "sexy". She understands beautiful and lovely, but not sexy. My daughter is also a fire cracker of a personality.
I will even move tables if MTV is up on the flat screen at the food court in the mall. I will shelter my daughter from moral degradation for as long as I have control. Yes I know exposure is inevitable. But not at age 4. Not in my house.
Perhaps you have others around who watch inappropriate T.v. shows in front of your children. But no, I don't think she came up with this in a vacuum. Its exposure, and to the best of your ability, I'd reign it in.
I may be a bit on the extreme side. But these are my thoughts. We are all a bunch of frogs in boiling water. T.V. and music began chipping away at our cultural morals long long ago. Every generation gets worse and most of us just accept it. Well I don't.
Also consider that just because its a cartoon does not make it acceptable for children. Sponge Bob is one of them.

(Many are confused at this question, its because she changed it considerably since it first appeared, no doubt for feeling overly judged, which is neither here nor there. I think we have all put ourselves out here seeking help and been judged. Its hard to know the whole story)

Every time she does this, I'd get a very serious look and tone and say "THAT is NOT appropriate behavior/talk for a lady. Go to time out/your room and sit and think about that. Come back and talk to me about it when you think you can behave like a lady."

I'd start putting a lot of focus on how a lady acts. And be sure you are setting the example.

ETA: T. - you have changed your post. So now no one can help you. Put your original post in so that people can help you.

T.:

First off - I'm truly sorry you are going through this!! That's got to be tough!

I realize that you don't believe she's been in a compromising situation - but really - a 4 year old can't "know" these things. She had to have seen them somewhere. The potty words she heard somewhere.

Are you open to taking her to a counselor - even your church pastor to have him talk to her without you there?

Has she been tested for being bi-polar? I know it's a little young, but on the same token - if she is on and off - it's POSSIBLE she could be bi-polar. I don't know how young the symptoms start, but talk to your pediatrician about the signs and symptoms of bi-polar.

I know when my daughter was 4 - she only mimicked words she heard from our mouths. We called her our "little Sanyo recorder" - boy did that make me watch my mouth!! :) As to the sexual side? No. My daughter was not sexual or even using the word sexy until much later, I would say 9 or 10. And even then she would blush.

I don't know what music you listen to or what videos you watch on-line...is it possible she's getting it from there?

I would stop popping her booty when she puts it out there because it is a game to her. So it's fun!! She's getting attention for it - positive or negative - she's getting attention for it.

My daughter is 4 also. This weekend, I took her to Detroit Institute of Arts for a day, along with a friend of mine and her 4 year old daughter. My daughter never used to the term "booty" before until we started hanging out and having play dates with them, and this other girl says "booty" all the time and they think it is hilarious. There is a statue there that was an abstract representation of a woman's body, including breasts and buttocks. Even though she is only 4, my daughter could recognize and see that it was a woman, and when she went to go check out the backside, she told her friend, "Oh, there's her booty!" Her and her friend made the booty comment a few times after that with other statues until we told them that enough was enough, and they were not acting polite.

My feeling from reading your post is that your daughter is simply getting off on pushing your buttons. She knows it bothers you and she thinks it is hilarious that you get upset about it - it gets your attention, even if it is negative attention. If she's ever gotten positive attention for it before (like people laughing or thinking she is funny or cute) than of course she is going to think it is okay and keep doing it. Time to come up with a stronger consequence for when she slips up. Remind her of the rule about "potty talk" and if she wants to use potty words, she can go do it in the bathroom where those words belong. Then if she does, make her do a time-out by herself in the bathroom. If she doesn't like that, she hopefully will not think it is so funny anymore. It is also time to start reigning in what she sees on TV and hears on the radio. When my daughter is home or in the car, we don't have anything on that would be inappropriate for a 4 year olds ears. I doubt your daughter actually knows what sexy means - she's only mimicing and imitation what she sees and hears other people doing.

Even if they don't pick it up at home, they will pick it up elsewhere, especially if they are in day care or when they start going to school, from other kids. Just like my daughter did. But with her it is as simple as me voicing my disapproval and saying something like, "We don't behave that way - it is not polite." One day last week she decided to stick her tongue out at me and real fast I got down where my face was right in front of her face, held her by the arm so she couldn't turn away, and told her very firmly (but without raising my voice) that she dare not ever do that again - it is unacceptable and I will not put up with it. She could tell I was serious and she has not tried it again yet. Other negative consequences can include taking favorite toys away or losing privileges like watching TV, or having to go to bed early. But I would try the time-out in the bathroom first, and see how that goes. And don't forget to praise her for when she is behaving herself, and be specific - "I like how you are being more careful about the words you use."

ETA: You totally changed your post/question around from what you wrote before - if you want to ask it in a different way, I would suggest writing it as a second post and see what kind of responses you get. You had it framed as a question before, and now there is no question, and that is going to make it difficult for people to know how to respond if they don't know what you are asking.

A four year old does NOT come by the terms you mention on their own. Could it be your older children think it's amusing to teach the little one to use vulgar terms and gestures? Guess you need to speak with her as often as necessary to not use CERTAIN words and about "sticking her butt out". MIght be a good idea to ask her Sunday school teacher to reinforce your rules and teachings.

Your tag line: "My daughter is a hoochie" (A FOUR YEAR OLD HOOCHIE), in jest or not....isn't such a great suggestion that her behavior is not acceptable.

Most 4 year olds that I know or have been around find potty talk hilarious. I think its a stage. Some are more apt to do potty talk than others. My niece was very into saying poop, booty, & booby. When around my daughter, my daughter would laugh hysterically and join in with her. My youngest who is 4 did the same...but is getting better. We always told all of them the only potty talk acceptable was in the bathroom...so if they wanted to talk like that they had to stay in the bathroom. I bet if you ask preschool teachers you'll find it to be the norm.
As for the booty shaking...yes we have some of that blame it on the chippettes from the new chipmunk movie. "I whip my tail back and forth" I'm sure your little one picked it up somewhere....and it doesn't have to be an adult show as you will see.
As for the "I'm sexy and I know it" yes, that song is everywhere, I dislike the song very much. It plays at least 3 times while I'm at work and in the car...who can count. Sometimes I'm tuned out from it...but the kids definitely have heard it there fare share. True story, my cousins four year after hearing his Grandma say she had a tickle in her throat replied with I have passion in my pants. She asked him where he heard this...he said from the song "I'm sexy and I know it" I told my cousin...good grief I never heard that part...she hadn't either. So yes a lot of these things are picked up behavior but I don't think its all that abnormal....it happens. Just keep correcting her, I bet she'll outgrow it.

And I truly believe it doesn't matter how well you raise them they will ALWAYS be subjected to it somewhere...unless you keep them in a bubble I suppose. My oldest is only in first grade and she and her friend are all the time talking about who likes who and who is boyfriend/girlfriend. The other day I picked them up and a boy who looked to be in 4th or 5th grade was walking home on the sidewalk and the girls proceeded to tell me it was a girl in their class boyfriend. I told them no way, he's too old. They said, well he isn't her boyfriend but she likes him A LOT! I'm floored listening to this as they are ONLY in first grade. Thankfully....my daughter still thinks boys have cooties. (Although I'm scared it won't last long)

My step son does this too. and now that i read your question, im stumped. I do not allow any of my kids to listen to any music that is gona have my tween girls singing "im sexy and I know it." we do not have cable so TV is out. Like I want them to look up to kardashian and reality tv stars....lol. I am very strict with the influences on my kids. And I agree with the response below. someone is influencing your child. kids are not born with this flrityness...we are born innocent. we can be born headstrong and stubborn tho. once she begins school this kind of behavior will not be acceptable and her friend she make wont want to be around it. she will learn in time.

I think she is getting it somewhere. A niece or someone? My kids know the song sexy and i know it. They watch spongebob etc. They dont act "oversexual" by any means. They are all girls. If one of my teens says sexy, the 7 yr old turns red trying to repeat it....lol! She knows it is not a good word for her age. I am not being mean. I think you may be missing someone who is influencing your child, negatively.

I think you are too worried about this. My kids have done some things too, and I keep saying to myself they were raised in church and know better. Well, being raised in church doesn't keep them from being onery kids, and doing silly things that make us cringe. Maybe she senses that about you when she says the word, and knows it gets to you. Try to ignore it, and I guess if she says it around people that you don't want her to say it around, just scold her then. She already knows you don't want her to say it. Good luck I know it can be embarassing sometimes.

I'm not surprised, everything is so over-sexualized now-days. It's impossible to shield our kids from this sort of thing. My girls don't act like that, so not sure what would make one girl do this and not another- unless she has the influence of an older girl? Maybe a cousin, friend, neighbor, sister? Little girls will copy EVERYTHING older girls do, so perhaps that's it. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Seems like you're consistent with telling her what is appropriate and what is not, so she'll get it. :)

ETA: Marty, it's called handling a sensitive situation with humor. Some people get it, some people don't. Not sure how the appropriate response to that was personally attacking the poster.

Nah, I don't see the big deal. Just correct her when she says words she shouldn't but don't make a huge deal about it. The way I see it, it could be way worse! Just say something like "you know you shouldn't say that so don't say it again". If I didn't know better, I would think my white, tomboy daughter had some black blood in her...she's got some MOVES! She was raised listening to Old School, Motown, R&B, etc. So I just think your daughter has been blessed with good moves and I would just see if you can get her to tone it down a bit. Otherwise, you know the saying, any attention is still attention. Good luck!

My guess is that she's copying what her older sister is doing. What you are describing isn't necessarily oversexualized (unless there's way more than you are writing). My son is almost 4 and thinks it's hilarious to run into the livingroom naked and yelling "look at my booty" and shaking his little heiny. To be honest, it is funny.

If she's around your older child and her friends at all, she's hearing these things from her. The behavior you should be addressing is your eldest child's, not your youngest. She doesn't "get it", but knows that it's something her big sister says/does and thinks it's "cool".

Short story... when I was working as an Assistant Principal, I had a second grade girl write a series of notes to another second grader saying things like "I want to do sex with you" or "You are so hot", etc. The parents were so incredibly upset and couldn't figure out where this was coming from. We talked and mom mentioned that the girl was home for about 2 hours each afternoon with the older brother (17), but there were strict rules about his girlfriend being in the house unsupervised.

Well... guess what? What there's no one there to "supervise" for several hours a lot can happen (and be heard) when you plop a 7 year old in front of a t.v. with a snack for an hour and tell her not to come into your room b/c you're "doing homework".

Talk with your older daughter about what you have observed and ask her to tone-it-down in the house and when her friends are around. It's developmentally appropriate for her, but not for the little one!

It sounds to me like she is just trying to be funny. A lot of kids that age think certain words are funny and think body parts or functions are funny. I think if she gets attention for these things she will keep it up. Probably if you just ignore her goofy behavior or remind her what she is and is not allowed to say, she will will stop. Kids learn other things from other kids so fast...if your daughter is around other preschool kids at playgroups or church or a preschool then she will be exposed to things. I had to have a serious talk with my 7 year old son this year about "bad words". He has learned all kinds of words from kids at school. He knows he is NOT allowed to say them (and he does not say them) but he is very curious about them and often wants to talk to me about what he has heard. I wish he were not so fixated on them, but I assume this is a phase. By the way, I also teach my children what is right and wrong and am strict about it, but I do not go to church.

Wow, so you call your daughter a slut (which is a synonym for hootchie) because she says the word nipple and sticks her butt out when she dances?

And you think she's the one with the issues?

She's four. At four my kids would stick their butts out when they dance too. How do you know that she knows it's provocative to stick her butt out when she dances. Don't make as big a deal about it, just relax and she'll stop when she no longer gets a rise out of you.

T.,

I see you are a bit defensive about things----Its all in how you word the question--- I have seen a great deal of toddlers and pre-schoolers go through this phase. It is completely natural for your child to explore her body and use the names of body parts, then giggle etc. She is wanting to get a rise or reaction out of you. If you don't want her to continue the behavior--

1. ignore it
2.praise her when she speaks and acts the way you would like her to
3. remember, she will grow out of this!

If you matter of factly say that you want her to use the word breast or whatever word you want her to use instead, then she will eventually lose interest in the nipple word. As for sticking her bottom out when she dances--its just a natural way kids move--show her some other ways to dance if it bothers you. Bottom line, relax! She is a normal little girl and won't be corrupted or a hoochie as you say if she continues this. By using this in your headline, you have opened a can a worms for yourself--then you wonder why people respond the way they do. Just saying. Good luck to you!

I don't even know what your question is. Are you upset because she giggles at the word "nipple?" Or because she sticks her butt out when she dances? I really don't think she's trying to be provocative - I'm sure she doesn't even know what that is.

Again, not getting the question or seeing problem.

Can you please "repeat" your question? Either that or im just slow today. The "hoochie" part has me confused?

I think that adults get too riled up about "sexual" behavior in young children. Young children dont have a concept of sex and so, unless they have been abused (which your daughter has not) she is just being a little clown. Adults attribute sexual connotations to the behavior - children do not.

She is sticking her bottom out because bottoms are funny. And they ARE funny... Also - the word nipple is a funny word, and since it is "taboo" its all the more irresistible.

I think - for you - continue matter of factly correcting her behavior (just like we all do with our little boys potty mouths) and, if anyone seems to be giving YOU looks (like what did you do to raise this little hoochie) stare at them right back like what is wrong with you to attribute sexual behavior to a toddler?

Sounds like you have a funny, fun little girl.

ETA - I dont find your use of hoochie inappropriate here - maybe its a regional thing with with the connotations - but to me its a little racier of a term than "flirt" but nothing at all like "slut" as other people are posting.

Since my 4 year old BOY was dancing around last week while chanting "Shake my BOOTY, BOOTY, BOOTY" As far as I can tell he pulled that out of thin air....

I think it's a 4 year old thing.

This week he's a cat-- walking around on all fours m eowing like crazy....

Don't make to big of a deal out of it and she'll move on to an all new way to drive you crazy soon!