Distracted Daughter

Updated on January 14, 2010
J.H. asks from Arlington, WA
24 answers

My 7 yo daughter is in 1st grade, and is a very bright kid. Due to various health issues she has missed more school than the average kid, but still remains near the top of her class. The problem we are having, however, is that she is sooo easily distracted!

I go in each wee to read with her class, and it takes her 3x longer to get through a book than others reading at her level (and many below her level too) because she is constantly distracted by everything else that is going on. We read out in the hall, and any sound that she hears or person that walks by she has to stop and "check it out" rubbernecking for a couple of minutes and then talking about what they might be doing.

She also has an issue with the noise level in class. They do Accelerated Math practice tests during class, and if her classmates are noisy, she can't concentrate - and ends up getting very low scores on the tests (60-75%) however when they are taking the actual tests she scores 100% because everyone is quiet.

She likes to know what is going on everywhere around her, thus she constantly looks around to try to see what they are doing. When she is sitting & reading at home she is fine - no problem. At home her little sister can be highly distracting as well, but she doesn't care what lil sis is doing ;~) so she reads just fine. She is an avid reader at home! There are no problems with her attention span - she will focus on one thing for as long as it takes to complete it - as long as there is someone else in the room with her.

I know that she is getting the input - her tests are great & she gets high marks in everything, I'm just trying to figure out how to get her to realize that she doesn't need to know what everyone is doing all the time!

Does anyone else have an issue with an easily distracted child? I am at a loss as to what to do to help her! She is a smart kid and loves school, she just lacks focus. Or, rather, she has a problem with needing to know what EVERYONE else is doing!

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

Have you heard of Sensory Processing Disorder? You can have her school evaluate her and by law the must do this as well as treatment if needed.

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

Many natural health oriented doctors believe that potential causes for the modern epidemic of Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD) and hyperactivity are:

1. Food additives
2. Refined sugar
3. Poor nutrition
4. Natural light deficiency
5. Food allergies
6. Heavy metal toxicity (such as lead, mercury, or cadmium)
7. Poor teaching methods combined with lack of discipline

Check out this site and books before you let your doctor diagnose your child with 'add or 'adhd'

Not really sure what the problem is?? She's distracted easily, but she's obviously still getting it all. If you need to get through something faster, try reading somewhere quiet, maybe go to the library after school to do homework with her.

I have several friends that have 'ADD'. Only two uses meds and she is not the same person (I've been friends with her sine junior high and just recently started using it), the other is my nephew and the same thing. Yes, he can concentrate more, but what happened to his spunky personality?

I have another friend who have never used meds and now is a top nurse at the veteran hospital in San Francisco, another good friend works with patients also in a hospital on the east coast. She stopped using her meds a year ago and she's an absolute ball of fire! Yes, she is easily distracted, but she's learned to harness it. She can control it often and can focus when she needs to. She is the best at her job, has been given the money to go back to school so that they can promote her because of the way she works.

My point is, your daughter is beautiful the way she was made and it can be her driving force in life. There are natural ways to heal it also, without taking away your daughters spunk. Try seeing a nutritionist that has experience with ADD and there's all kinds of books about it.

Oh... the last woman I was talking about, in the past 4 months, has drastically changed her diet. No more alcohol, cigarettes, processed foods, drinks greens and lots of alkalized water and she updated me a week ago telling me how well she's been doing since switching.

Obviously, I'm a little passionate about kids with 'ADD'. Best of wishes to you and yours!

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L.G.

answers from Seattle on

I was a "distracted daughter," and also have one. Timers really help me to focus. I set a timer and do a job for 15 min., or whatever amount of time I select, and I can focus better, knowing that it is for a certain length of time. I love the timers available on www.FLYlady.net and they also have a vibrate feature, so she could set it without being a huge distraction to those around her.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Take a good look at her diet. Maybe she reacts to a
certain food. A naturopath/nutritionist could help with
that. (corn, wheat, sugar, dairy are some common ones)

If it is ADD please explore other options than medications.
I know it might sound weird, but my friend's boys have had success with a diet change.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

It sounds like ADD. Many girls don't get diagnosed with it because they don't cause the problems that boys do and they figure that ADD girls just aren't living up to their potential. I was one of those girls growing up. I couldn't get through a book, I had a hard time concentrating, and teachers would tell me I was lazy and a counselor told me I would never go to college. Well I did go to college, although it was really tough and I probably didn't do as well as I could have without the problem. When my son was diagnosed with adhd I noticed that I had many of the same problems so I tried the medication for it. Now when I take it I can read a book without everything distracting me and I can get things done. I just have to remember to take it. My doctor says that the people with these types of brains are wired wrong, just different. It use to be that these people were in high need in the workplace because of their high energy and ability to notice everything. Unfortunately now there is such and emphasis on education that ADD ADHD people are at a disadvantage. It use to be that you could get a decent job without an education, but not anymore. So in order to even things out the medication ups the dopamine in the brain to a higher level so that we can pay attention.
I hope this helps some.

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G.T.

answers from Portland on

I would have her tested for dyslexia. There are many different types of dyslexia, and some are noise and distraction related. I know, because her symptoms sound a bit like mine. It could be a number of things, but you should seriously look into this. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 36 years old, and had suffered greatly during my school years due to being labeled "smart but lazy," "disorganized", "daydreamer," as well as many other hurtful names. I can't tell you how many time I had my eyes and hearing tested, as well as the battery of testing I went through before 5th grade. Most people are aware of how reading is effected by dyslexia, but it is much more complicated and is thought to effect as many as 23 different aspects of perception, as well as vary in degree. Dyslexics often have above average intelligence. It is really hard to find good info on the web, but try looking up books and sites of dyslexics. Let me know if I can answer any other questions.

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N.D.

answers from Portland on

my daughter has hereditary vision problems which we've been watching for from birth. after taking her to an eye therapist, i found that kids who can't see properly are often diagnosed with ADD, etc. have you had her eyesight tested?

it doesn't quite sound like your daughter (more of sensory overload like someone suggested) but i thought i'd throw it out there. sorry i couldn't be more help.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,

Well, I guess the obvious first question is has she been tested for ADHD/ADD? You may want to have her tested if you haven't already, and if she turns out to be either, you can go from there.

If she has been tested, and was found not to be either, then it could be that she just needs complete, or near complete silence to be able to do her studying and test taking. The fact that she's doing fine when she is taking the actual test would be the important thing to me, as that and her homework is what her grade should be based on. I wouldn't be so concerned with her scores on the drills.

To share with you one of my own experiences, last year my youngest complained of alot of noise in her class too, and said she couldn't concentrate because of it. It irritated me because it seemed like it was the same kids over and over again, who caused the problems, caused the class to lose the one recess they'd get for the day and to be the last class to the lunchroom(this was nearly EVERY SINGLE DAY), and I wondered why the teacher didn't have better control over her classroom. I went and visited one day, and saw that in fact, the teacher had control over the classroom just fine, but these kids took every opportunity they got to be disruptive to some degree or other, whether it was another kid getting up to sharpen a pencil, a lesson change, time to get ready for lunch, what have you. Despite that the entire class suffered because of these kids, the teacher could only "punish" these kids so much and so often, before it bordered on it being a strange reward for their continuous negative behavior.

When conference came, I expressed my concerns and how the problems affected my child, and many other parents must have too, because things got much better after that.

You may be able to find out if it's troublesome, disruptive children causing problems, and talk to your daughter's teacher about doing something about it.

Anyway, also I wanted to mention that maybe your daughter isn't being challenged or stimulated enough mentally, and might need something a bit "harder" to be able to focus. My son was like that, and once his math and reading became harder, he focused better. He needed to be tested out of his grade level, though, and had to go to another classroom for his math and reading, so you may have to do something like that for her.

Whatever happens, good luck, and I hope things get better for her.

K. W

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K.J.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter (8yrs) has this problem. Luckily our local school has a talented and gifted program and this helps immensely as the work tends to be less routine and holds her interest better. But even this comes with struggles. It can take us 3 hours to do 30 minutes worth of homework at home. She may or may not have ADD, I guess I don't really care. I will take the skills that are valuable from the literature regardless of a diagnosis and I am not interested in the medication, at least not at this point. She certainly seems to be able to hold her attention at least some of the time. What is more important to me is that we give her the skills and the tools. She does not appear to be unique among her gifted peers in this. I have always presumed that it was a facet of her intelligence (even if I find it frustrating).
Part of it in her case seems to be diet. We have noticed that sustained dairy exacerbate the problem, sugar can also be an issue, we keep it very limited with no sugar at school and occasional deserts only when homework and dinner are complete. I understand that for some children the problem can be wheat. A good Naturopath may help to identify some of these issues (although, sometimes I think some of them go overboard so trust your intuition).
Piano lessons also seem to help. My daughter gets an immediate tangible sense of success for her efforts (in her case this aligns with her gifts). It doesn't really matter what the activity is. It could be gymnastics. Just so long as the child enjoys it and receives tangible results, not just praise but something they can immediately sense on their own.

Good luck

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

My 3rd grade son had the same problems since kindergarden.... I had been fighting this prob since then, low test scores, easily distracted, lack of concentration..... I had taken him to the doctor last yr and he had been tracking my sons progress.... It had finally taken an in school suspension to get the ball rolling..... My son was diagnosed with add... Attention deficit disorder..... We have it under control with strattera.... And he is doing much better.... He is focused, nothing distracts him in school, and he gets his work done even in accelerated math.... It used to be a fight to get him to do his homework, now he does it with no problem.... So talk to your family doctor about what is going on with her, to me it sounds as though she may be add like my son.... Good luck

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A.R.

answers from Seattle on

My 16YO daughter was in 1st grade when she was diagnosed with ADD. I know that is fast becoming some kind of craze with doctors and moms alike; but for those children who truly suffer from it...they are truly suffering. My daughter is now, and has been since that time, an A student. She is incredibly smart, pretty sure she'd beat me on an IQ test! She is now on a relatively low dose of Concerta; she's never been allowed to blame "her ADD" for anything; and she knows that she feels better about herself when she's taking her meds. It's not a decision to make lightly, obviously, but talk to her pediatrician and her teachers. The great thing about the medication now is that they're are stimulant-free choices, the dosage can be tailored to your child's needs...by you! Just a thought and hope I haven't offended anyone. I have 3 children, 2 have been diagnosed with ADD. My son is not and will not ever be on medication because I don't believe the diagnosis and medication was never the answer for him.

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

I was the very same way...always have been. Over the years I learned things to help me, but as an adult I was diagnosed with ADHD. This could be your daughter's problem. If it is, there are LOTS of ways to treat it and they don't always have to involve medication if you don't want it. I discovered lots of things to help myself, but it took many years since I did not know my problem, I didn't know where to start. If ADHD is the problem in your case, you are 19 years ahead of me! Good luck. You might just take her to get checked out for adhd or other similar type things...you never know what might turn up.

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S.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi J.,

I would also look into Auspberger (sp?) Syndrom, it is on the autism spectrum. It is more common in boys, but there are still girls who have it. The characteristics include high intelligence, distraction, sensitivity to noise, as well as need for rigid routines, and obsessive interests (for instance wanting to know about, learn about, and constantly talk about a specific interest).

We had my step-son tested for years (Kindergarten through third grade) and finally discovered his diagnosis ourselves, through research on the internet. When reading about it we found it could have been written directly for him.

Once you can identify the issue it is much easier to help them. Keep pursuing information until you figure out what "fits". We now have our son in a specialized program to give him the extra support he needs. We did medicate him in the beginning, but he has since learned coping skills that have eliminated the need.

I am a 39 year old Mom of an amazing 30 month old daughter and step-mom to our unique and special 11 year old boy. Married for 5 and a half years to my high school sweetheart!

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

Start with a pediatrician check. With the noise issue, I too am thinking sensory processing/integration issues but possibly ADD.... Only a professional can help you have her eveluated. Teacher observation and feedback help immensely with this process. Get him/her to be your partner in problem solving.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

I have a "distracted daughter" who has been that way probably her whole life! Very bright and quite a blessing she is, but she doesn't read aloud very well. I'm surprised everyone jumps up and says "ADD" or "ADHD!" My daughter would probably qualify if I ever had her tested for it, however, I lean more toward a touch of dyslexia in her case. Maybe that could be for your daughter too? Some "symptoms" are: usually poor at math and reading but average or above average in most other areas (especially the creative arts), short attention span; easily distracted, and having been accused of being "lazy" or "unmotivated." My daughter occassionally flip/flops her numbers in math or her letters in spelling. Orally, however, she can ace spelling and math! We did get her glasses last year and that helped but she still struggles. It's very frustrating, I know! But just keep reminding yourself that if you can encourage her through these years, she will learn how to use her skills to her benefit! Also, remember that tests are just numbers, not a reflection of whether she'll be a good or bad person!

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

I would take her to a physician and maybe even make an appt. with the morrison center. It sounds like she is hearing sensitive. There are ways to learn to cope with this and she may need medication to help her learn to focus.

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L.O.

answers from Seattle on

I would recommend getting a copy of the book The ADD Answer. Your daughter may not have Attention Deficit Disorder, but I think everything in the book is good for ALL kids. I agree with the others about investigating diet changes and this book discusses that. There may be changes you choose to make even if your daughter is never actually diagnosed with ADD.
I wish you and your daughter the very best! If your daughter is given a diagnosis or not, she can be very successful in school and in life!

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R.R.

answers from Seattle on

I agree w/ Laura S response. There could be a number of possible contributing factors. I would say just don't panic & put her on meds! My brother was diagnosed ADD years ago & meds has never helped consistently. Of course in the end growing a joyful, confident, curious kid (w/age appropriate self-discipline) is more important than being an outstanding academic. What about trying a behavioral approach? She's only in first grade & kids will always need guidance re: appropriate use of time. With my own very social & curious daughter we have sort of "designated" times for exploration, telling stories, goofing off, etc. that's balanced by more focused "work" time (keeping in mind her current attention span as we gradually seek to elongate it). All of this is very fluid & fun & she's usually not even aware that I'm doing it.

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S.S.

answers from Eugene on

My daughter had the same problems. In fact, we kept her back in Kindergarten only because of her lack of maturity and attention span. First grade wasn't much different, she just couldn't focus to anything if there were any noise or distractions around her. We started by calling a meeting with the school to discuss her needs and they recommended calling her Doctor to bring them into the discussion. So, I did. The doctor sent home a questionair for us, any other really close relatives, current teacher and previous teacher to fill out. Once filled out I was to make another appointment to go in and review them with the Dr. As it turned out, she was diagnosed with ADHD. We decided to start her on medication to help. She is on the lightest dose of Vyvance available and it helps immensly. You might want to discuss this with her school counselor and/or doctor to see if this might be part or some of her problem too. My daughter is in 2nd grade now and is towards the top of her class. She has many friends and loves school still. But now she has the ability to focus more and get her work done without bouncing in her seat. Good Luck to you! This isn't easy, but worth looking at. If you need or want to discuss this any further, please do not hesitate to email me (____@____.com).

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L.G.

answers from Portland on

I have seen children who donot get enough sleep easily distracted.I have also seen children with poor nutrition have trouble consetrating, also allergy problems.

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C.D.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,I work with distracted children,and what usually happens is that the midbrain,the part of the brain below the cortex has not fully matured ,these children are very intelligent but have to work harder because the midbrain is responsible for filtering all of the stimuli that comes to the brain.If the filtering does not happen the cortex is trying to pay attention to everything and prioritizing becomes very compromised.It should not been run by will power,it is a function that is automatic if the neurology is in place. What matures that part of the brain is the activity of creeping on hands and knees,has she done a lot of it? and how does she do it? At any age we can go back to the developmental stages and complete them.If you want to know more check my website :canelledemange.com and you can call me as well lovingly C.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

If you get an ADD diagnosis, you might consider seeing a Naturopathic Doctor for options, rather than drugs...

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J.M.

answers from Anchorage on

What I did with my daughter is I set a timer for her and said ok you have 20 minutes to do your math home work (knowing that is was only going to take her 5 or 10 minutes to do it). Her teacher even started to do the same for her at school, she does have an IEP in reading and writing, but this really helped her focus on the task at hand. Another idea at home is to use headphones with classical music to help her stay focused. During school I would try next year to talk to her teacher about it and see if during test she could move to the back of the room (or front) and have her facing away from the class to help her stay focused.

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T.M.

answers from Greensboro on

I have a blog with information regarding diet and behavioral interventions that help kids with primarily inattentive adhd. The URL is http://primarilyinattentiveadd.blogspot.com

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